PICS
And sometimes you apologize even if you're right because the friend that's on the line isn't worth losing. Always make a pro and con list....
Not about the situation, but the person.
What an ugly sin pride is.
Not about the situation, but the person.
What an ugly sin pride is.
I get banged up a lot like a pinky toe.
I suppose the next few years could get really easy but that already seems boring. Sometimes I get really afraid that I'm already forgetting all the things I tried to remember. The things that were so important, the things that when they happen you think to yourself 'I'll always remember this'..
It's no secret I'm sensitive and emotionally attached to everything. It makes change really hard. I honestly can't even remember how I up and left Canada as a teenager. I can remember plane rides if I really think about it. I can remember the shirt I was wearing the day I arrived in Orlando. I can remember the weather and the green from the day I arrived in Tennessee. I remember travelers first days at my apartment and picking up roach from the amtrak station. I remember crying on a plane at LAX because leaving Reagan was horrific and going back to my marriage was a fate worse than death. Or how pink my room was.
I hate that some things are blurred. It makes me wish I was the kind of person who keeps scrap books. Not note books filled with scribbles and to do lists and numbers that maybe meant something but don't anymore.
Maybe I'll start writing them down. Maybe they will be better the way I remember them. I try not to think about the awful stuff. By nature I remember good things.
I need a better form of expression. I wasn't the best photographer.
Maybe I'll end up singing the songs that lull you to sleep.
I suppose the next few years could get really easy but that already seems boring. Sometimes I get really afraid that I'm already forgetting all the things I tried to remember. The things that were so important, the things that when they happen you think to yourself 'I'll always remember this'..
It's no secret I'm sensitive and emotionally attached to everything. It makes change really hard. I honestly can't even remember how I up and left Canada as a teenager. I can remember plane rides if I really think about it. I can remember the shirt I was wearing the day I arrived in Orlando. I can remember the weather and the green from the day I arrived in Tennessee. I remember travelers first days at my apartment and picking up roach from the amtrak station. I remember crying on a plane at LAX because leaving Reagan was horrific and going back to my marriage was a fate worse than death. Or how pink my room was.
I hate that some things are blurred. It makes me wish I was the kind of person who keeps scrap books. Not note books filled with scribbles and to do lists and numbers that maybe meant something but don't anymore.
Maybe I'll start writing them down. Maybe they will be better the way I remember them. I try not to think about the awful stuff. By nature I remember good things.
I need a better form of expression. I wasn't the best photographer.
Maybe I'll end up singing the songs that lull you to sleep.
So... something pretty shitty happened. I borrowed my boyfriend's car to make it to my yoga class last Tuesday and got in a pretty brutal wreck on the 580 freeway. I had to be removed from the car by paramedics and firefighters and taken to a hospital by ambulance (which I just received the $2000 bill for). I sprained my neck and right knee and strained my upper back. Which is great because breaking something is kinda of out of my price range in this country. Not that $2000 for a 5 minute ride to the hospital is, but it could be worse.
Worse as in even though it appears the car in front of me stopped dead on the freeway to try and get over to an exit they missed because I hit them the insurance probably won't cover it.
pause... anxiety attack
Anyway, I've been working very hard the past few months at moving in a positive direction in my life. I quit drinking and started a 250 hour (year and a half) foundations of yoga course with hopes to start a teacher training program in a year or so. I started as the nanny to Roach's baby 5 days a week on top of yoga 4 or so times a week. And then this happened. I'm not going to lie, I'm bumming pretty hard on this. It's probably going to end up costing me around $10k I'm guessing. I'm trying not to be overwhelmed but I'm all but bedridden and my injuries are severe and are not keeping me from yoga and study. Truth be told, it's pretty hard not to just cry in a cocoon of comforters night and day.
I don't really know what else to say. Sorry this entry is such a bummer.
Worse as in even though it appears the car in front of me stopped dead on the freeway to try and get over to an exit they missed because I hit them the insurance probably won't cover it.
pause... anxiety attack
Anyway, I've been working very hard the past few months at moving in a positive direction in my life. I quit drinking and started a 250 hour (year and a half) foundations of yoga course with hopes to start a teacher training program in a year or so. I started as the nanny to Roach's baby 5 days a week on top of yoga 4 or so times a week. And then this happened. I'm not going to lie, I'm bumming pretty hard on this. It's probably going to end up costing me around $10k I'm guessing. I'm trying not to be overwhelmed but I'm all but bedridden and my injuries are severe and are not keeping me from yoga and study. Truth be told, it's pretty hard not to just cry in a cocoon of comforters night and day.
I don't really know what else to say. Sorry this entry is such a bummer.
Alright, darlings, I'm sorry my last few posts have been sad sad sad but geez.. I just had the worst time dealing with that poor old wolf dying while his actual family was out of town. How scared he must have been and alone. I'm still sad, of course, he was like my own. Bentley is down to just the cat and my friends hyperactive wiener dog puppy as far as friends go. Our dogs came with us everywhere. B and the wolf were the main attraction at the crappy Mexican restaurant where we get margaritas all summer. It sucks.
I shot a new set,Pretty Tied Up, with Lorelei when she visited Oakland. It encompasses my nerdy, crafty and somewhat naughty sides. And let's be honest, that dress screams my hippie side.
Comment if you dig nerds.
Not too much has been going on lately. I went out for my birthday to Room 389 in Oakland with a few friends to try and forget the mornings sadness for a bit and I had a really wonderful time. I love love love my friends and I was pleased as punch that friends from all kinds of cliques came out to a somewhat swank bar for me. I never really do anything for my birthday. Usually something small or a show but this year I wanted to get a little fancy. I am a distinguished old lady now.
I've been doing yoga everyday. If not at my regular studio then in my home.... and if you've been to my itty bitty apartment you know it's a challenge . All of my furniture was originally for a much larger apartment in a much worse state. I try to make it work. In the same vain of doing yoga everyday I started a sober month the day after my birthday. Not because I'm still the raging party animal I once was but just to do it really. Clear my head a bit.
Anyway, kittens, I'm off to walk my pup around the lake. <3
I shot a new set,Pretty Tied Up, with Lorelei when she visited Oakland. It encompasses my nerdy, crafty and somewhat naughty sides. And let's be honest, that dress screams my hippie side.
Comment if you dig nerds.
Not too much has been going on lately. I went out for my birthday to Room 389 in Oakland with a few friends to try and forget the mornings sadness for a bit and I had a really wonderful time. I love love love my friends and I was pleased as punch that friends from all kinds of cliques came out to a somewhat swank bar for me. I never really do anything for my birthday. Usually something small or a show but this year I wanted to get a little fancy. I am a distinguished old lady now.
I've been doing yoga everyday. If not at my regular studio then in my home.... and if you've been to my itty bitty apartment you know it's a challenge . All of my furniture was originally for a much larger apartment in a much worse state. I try to make it work. In the same vain of doing yoga everyday I started a sober month the day after my birthday. Not because I'm still the raging party animal I once was but just to do it really. Clear my head a bit.
Anyway, kittens, I'm off to walk my pup around the lake. <3
Hello friends, I have a new set in MR,Pretty Tied Up, you should take a peek and tell me what you think.
I've had a gnarly week - see my last journal entry for sad details - and I'd love for you all to comment and help get this on the front page.
<3
I've had a gnarly week - see my last journal entry for sad details - and I'd love for you all to comment and help get this on the front page.
<3
Who do I know in Germany? One of my best friends is headed out there and his place to stay fell through/moved to Canada. Yeah..... Message me if you can be of any help.
First, and most importantly, I'm an aunt!
Roach had a baby!
She is beautiful and funny and I love her SO much.
Ick and B are wonderful.
It's SPRING!!!
I'm addicted to my homemade vegan cheese.
...and all the other foods...
(spicy lemon garlic asparagus with crimini mushrooms topped with fried shallots)
...because of that I require frequent trips to this:
My dude made my scale fancy!
Crafting
Beaching
Enjoying
Annnnd I guess me :/
Sutro Bath Ruins
Hallway hehe
What's the haps with you?
Roach had a baby!
She is beautiful and funny and I love her SO much.
Ick and B are wonderful.
It's SPRING!!!
I'm addicted to my homemade vegan cheese.
...and all the other foods...
(spicy lemon garlic asparagus with crimini mushrooms topped with fried shallots)
...because of that I require frequent trips to this:
My dude made my scale fancy!
Crafting
Beaching
Enjoying
Annnnd I guess me :/
Sutro Bath Ruins
Hallway hehe
What's the haps with you?
I'm trying to find beauty in a pile of shit right now. I'm struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression since I was laid off. A LOT. But I'm REALLY trying not to get stuck. I have no computer to update from (dead MacBook) so I'm going to just do a quick photo blog from photobucket since I can't attach photots via my phone.
