PICS
"your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you."
- elbert hubbard
i feel off today. like i need a nap or for it to just be tomorrow already. we used to call it being 'nima' when i was little. getting the blues and being crabby. i think i'm drinking too much coffee and crashing or something. hopefully sushi with my parents and julio will make me feel better. i have a zillion things to be happy about. so maybe i should take a second when i get off work to write all those things down on a scrap piece of paper and focus on them a bit. it is much too beautiful a life to feel this low. a lot has happened in the past couple months and i've tried really hard to be positive. i've got a lot going on in my head. not sure what i'm doing with some situations right now... i think i just need to step back, breathe and remember that i'm human and it's normal to be sad sometimes.
right?
i need to shoot a new set. asap.
right?
i need to shoot a new set. asap.
so, life recap.
monday morning i got up at 6-something-am and went to the hospital with josh for his pre-op appointment and some x-rays. it was actually pretty rad. it's nice to be friends and be able to laugh again and it not be fucking weird and awful. and i know, sg, i know what you're all screaming. and i'm hearin' it from everyone. yes, josh hurt me and was a giant douche but i don't gain anything from being one back. and maybe i am a sucker. sctatch that. maybe my heart is too big but i'd rather it be that way than too small and cold. so, friends it is. i just have to try harder to stop going so out of my way for him. sadly right now i just can't seem to help it.
anyway we went to the hospital and it was fun. i like hospitals. i find them interesting and they instantly give me a weird cabin fever that makes me laugh a lot and get giddy and loopy and crack jokes. we watched 'maury' and the show was about cougars (bla bla bla yeah i get the irony) but serious ones, not like me. 40yr old females and 16yr old boys confronted by very pissed off mothers. it was pretty entertaining. when we left we got some burittos and watched simpsons all afternoon. then i took off to clean my apartment for my parents arrival.
which brings the next update...
my parents are here! as i type my beloved canadians and roach are painting the living room at misfit island and listening to old bollywood music. um, hello amazing life!!! yesterday we went to golden lotus (of course) for lunch and i made them vegan shrimp and yummy saffron rice and lemon garlic spicy asparagus for dinner and it was blissful. yeah, my life is pretty much based on food. but at least it's healthy amazing more often than not vegan food.
this is the happiest/healthiest my parents have seen me in a number of years. possibly since i left canada. i think it's really doing them good and helping their sleep at night to see me back to normal and laughing a lot and healthy. when i think about how many visits have been plagued with problems i am over the moon excited to be showing them a good time and not hiding anything. be it an abusive relationship or drug problem or serious depression. not that they couldn't see through it. but it's a nice change and i plan on keeping life goin' in this direction.
tonight i'm going to go kick it with adam_vincent for his birthday for a bit
pretty stoked on that. i wasn't planning on going out while my folks were here but when it's your buddy's birthday, you act accordingly.
happy hump day sg...
semi-stoned quinne for good measure...
monday morning i got up at 6-something-am and went to the hospital with josh for his pre-op appointment and some x-rays. it was actually pretty rad. it's nice to be friends and be able to laugh again and it not be fucking weird and awful. and i know, sg, i know what you're all screaming. and i'm hearin' it from everyone. yes, josh hurt me and was a giant douche but i don't gain anything from being one back. and maybe i am a sucker. sctatch that. maybe my heart is too big but i'd rather it be that way than too small and cold. so, friends it is. i just have to try harder to stop going so out of my way for him. sadly right now i just can't seem to help it.
anyway we went to the hospital and it was fun. i like hospitals. i find them interesting and they instantly give me a weird cabin fever that makes me laugh a lot and get giddy and loopy and crack jokes. we watched 'maury' and the show was about cougars (bla bla bla yeah i get the irony) but serious ones, not like me. 40yr old females and 16yr old boys confronted by very pissed off mothers. it was pretty entertaining. when we left we got some burittos and watched simpsons all afternoon. then i took off to clean my apartment for my parents arrival.
which brings the next update...
my parents are here! as i type my beloved canadians and roach are painting the living room at misfit island and listening to old bollywood music. um, hello amazing life!!! yesterday we went to golden lotus (of course) for lunch and i made them vegan shrimp and yummy saffron rice and lemon garlic spicy asparagus for dinner and it was blissful. yeah, my life is pretty much based on food. but at least it's healthy amazing more often than not vegan food.
this is the happiest/healthiest my parents have seen me in a number of years. possibly since i left canada. i think it's really doing them good and helping their sleep at night to see me back to normal and laughing a lot and healthy. when i think about how many visits have been plagued with problems i am over the moon excited to be showing them a good time and not hiding anything. be it an abusive relationship or drug problem or serious depression. not that they couldn't see through it. but it's a nice change and i plan on keeping life goin' in this direction.
tonight i'm going to go kick it with adam_vincent for his birthday for a bit
pretty stoked on that. i wasn't planning on going out while my folks were here but when it's your buddy's birthday, you act accordingly. happy hump day sg...
semi-stoned quinne for good measure...
omg! my new plugs came yesterday from blackheart organics!!!
funny story. when i was dating josh he was telling me about this guy who was going to make him super beautiful plugs for pretty f-ing cheap. so i lurked the myspace a bit and even emailed him about wood and realized 'holy bananas i know this guys!' turns out they brilliant mind behind blackheart organics is my bff anika's good good good friend billi! so i was totally stoked and placed an order shortly after deciding to stretch from 1 1/4 to 1 1/2. the tulip wood plugs in the photo above are 1 3/8. they are kinda my break from stretching earrings i'll be wearing the rest of the summer 'til i'm ready to start stretching again. since i have some dark wood earrings my ex gave me and 2 new pairs of blood wood and bamboo that billi made me. they are so fucking beautiful! i'm pretty stoked to shoot some new sets with his work in mah big 'ol ears!
also he has crazy sales on right now, like sooo cheap it's bonkers. so check 'em out
as for real life... jake went out on tour with hightower right now. if you live in any of these places you ought to check 'em out. it's fun. promise.
saturday the 18th @ the central in seattle
thursday the 23rd in kamloops bc
saturday the 25th @ the cobalt in vancouver
so i'm a little bored now that he is gone since we have been hangin' out tons lately. i'm still a very busy bee tho. i made dinner the other day for a bunch of friends at my friend heather's house and then went over the this piano bar for my friend mario's birthday. which was really fun 'til the girl he's beeh hangin' with kinda flipped a little on me for some reason. first of all i didn't know they had been haging out. mario and i are kinda flirty sometimes. it's like part of our friendship or something. whatever. so i'm hanging out drinking my anchor steam makin' friends and chatting everyones ears off. we were all having a really good time! she then started throwing herself at him. like fucking embarassing mauling him and saying 'i reallllly like you' loud and weird. and naturally i was like 'ha ok this girl is a little off but whatev' and kinda out of nowhere she flips and says i have been mean to her all night and leaves. WTF, MATE?
so everyone is nice and tells me i didn't do anything and bla bla bla. even mario. super apologetic and nice. then yesterday he tells me i'm a fucking bully and that the girl is not hanging out with him anymore.
i'm actually pretty upset about this. i have been really trying to be nice to people. really going out of my way to make new friends and have fun and even tho i had to get up at 7am still went out to my friend's stupid birthday thing. and i'm really frustrated because i really was just being nice. i hate that some basket case stupid girl is insecure with her dude's fucking friendships and now i'm the one feeling like i did something wrong. i feel like i've been on a happy kick for like 6 weeks and right now i kinda feel like i might cry. i don't like this feeling. i'm over being sad.
also note that i found out josh cheated on me... surprise. and i'm still being nice to him since his world is all shit now. broke his leg and has to have surgery, didn't have a place to live 'til last week and is all depressed and shit. so i'm trying to be a supportive friend. but i'm still kinda hurting. i was so bummed yesterday that when roach got home from work i just hugged her and sobbed. woah. he doesn't know i know but 2 people told me, so yeah. it's weird finding out after the fact. it makes me kinda feel like i'm gonna barf actually. i don't know what to do with the information. i'm goin' to hang out with him today so he can change the jewelry in my tragus and i don't know if this is a fight i want to have today.
my ego=bruised like an old banana
ugh. i just want to shake it off.
in really happy amazing news my mom and dad are visiting in so soon! and they are bringing ketchup chips. and even more amazing than all that is that jake is bringing ketchup chips back from canada too.
how excited am i!!!!
sorry to vent sg. give me some advice. or not. because i know that everyone will tell me to stop being freinds with my deadbeat ex.
oh life, you are oh so interesting.
oh hai! just waitin' on some steps...
p.s. i thought i hated my green hair but i'm kinda starting to love it. win!
magic over misfit island!
sick in the sun...
nice tan, right!?
life is excellent right now. i'm feeling less sick and more awesome. i love it!
i spent a few days sick as a dog in bed then got some sunshine
what did you do this weekend?
i have a brutal summer cold.
boy, i really hates it!
this week has been fun in spite of my stupid cold. tuesday i went to see hightower with roach, adria and zaksmith. i am super excited they are here. i see them about once a year and i love every second of it! zak and i maybe got a little rowdy at the show. it happens.
i'd like to let you all know about roach's near death experience that night. which i had completely forgotten about until i got home last night and she reminded me. now some of the facts are foggy. i don't remember why she in the position she was in to almost die. all i remember is that we were standing behind hightower's van with my friend jake and she was bent over with her head towards me... this indicates her possibly trying to annoy me. she seems nice, but she attempts to drive me crazy constantly. touching me, making annoying noises, doing things extra slow, these kinds of things. anyway, like i said i don't know for sure why she was bent over like that but i LIGHTLY pushed her head. and she will totally say it was light and not aggressive. more like 'ehhh get away from me creep' as oppose to 'FUCK OFF'. so i push her head and she starts to fall backwards and almost in slow motion i watch her topple backwards into traffic. lucky for her jake ran over and saved her from getting hit by a cab. NOW, before you think i'm some monster let's review. she was bent over one way and somehow managed to fall over in the complete other direction and like 15 feet back (i'm cracking up writing this btw) like had to almost stand up and then start falling over. yes, i am happy jake saved her life, but i am kinda stumped on how she manged to lose her balance so unbelievably bad. i'm usually the clumsy one.
anyway we spent the night in the city and i spent the day hanging out with my friend laying around sick listening to records then eating yummy veggie food and the running around the city and going on little nature adventures. i fucking loved it!!!
later i met up with zaksmith and adria to go to berkeley for zak's book reading/signing for 'we did porn'. let me tell you freinds, it was fucking amazing. just from the few parts i heard zak read last night i am SO impressed and excited to read the whole thing.
(then we ate some greasy pizza shhhhhhhh!)
i went home tired and happy and not looking forward to work today. i could feel myself getting sicker and sicker on the bus ride home. it sucked. and whats even suckier is that i woke up this morning feeling like i was going to die. my throat hurts, i have no voice, my cough is gross and i'm pretty weak. so i didn't ride my bike. f that noise. i tried gettin' pretty but i think i maybe failed... oh well. after work i'm going to head to the city again for his other reading at city lights! i'm probably going to make it an early night due to the sickness and work in the morning but at least i'm lucky enough to be able to make it out a bit. or a lot. whatever.
i'm pretty excited right now. just in general. all the time. beaming from ear to ear and loving the warm feelings inside. fuck! i sound like such a hippie. i don't care because i'm the happiest i've been in years.
SO, if you're in sf tonight you should come hang out at city lights for the reading. i'll be there, sick but happy.
<3
boy, i really hates it!
this week has been fun in spite of my stupid cold. tuesday i went to see hightower with roach, adria and zaksmith. i am super excited they are here. i see them about once a year and i love every second of it! zak and i maybe got a little rowdy at the show. it happens.
i'd like to let you all know about roach's near death experience that night. which i had completely forgotten about until i got home last night and she reminded me. now some of the facts are foggy. i don't remember why she in the position she was in to almost die. all i remember is that we were standing behind hightower's van with my friend jake and she was bent over with her head towards me... this indicates her possibly trying to annoy me. she seems nice, but she attempts to drive me crazy constantly. touching me, making annoying noises, doing things extra slow, these kinds of things. anyway, like i said i don't know for sure why she was bent over like that but i LIGHTLY pushed her head. and she will totally say it was light and not aggressive. more like 'ehhh get away from me creep' as oppose to 'FUCK OFF'. so i push her head and she starts to fall backwards and almost in slow motion i watch her topple backwards into traffic. lucky for her jake ran over and saved her from getting hit by a cab. NOW, before you think i'm some monster let's review. she was bent over one way and somehow managed to fall over in the complete other direction and like 15 feet back (i'm cracking up writing this btw) like had to almost stand up and then start falling over. yes, i am happy jake saved her life, but i am kinda stumped on how she manged to lose her balance so unbelievably bad. i'm usually the clumsy one.
anyway we spent the night in the city and i spent the day hanging out with my friend laying around sick listening to records then eating yummy veggie food and the running around the city and going on little nature adventures. i fucking loved it!!!
later i met up with zaksmith and adria to go to berkeley for zak's book reading/signing for 'we did porn'. let me tell you freinds, it was fucking amazing. just from the few parts i heard zak read last night i am SO impressed and excited to read the whole thing.
(then we ate some greasy pizza shhhhhhhh!)
i went home tired and happy and not looking forward to work today. i could feel myself getting sicker and sicker on the bus ride home. it sucked. and whats even suckier is that i woke up this morning feeling like i was going to die. my throat hurts, i have no voice, my cough is gross and i'm pretty weak. so i didn't ride my bike. f that noise. i tried gettin' pretty but i think i maybe failed... oh well. after work i'm going to head to the city again for his other reading at city lights! i'm probably going to make it an early night due to the sickness and work in the morning but at least i'm lucky enough to be able to make it out a bit. or a lot. whatever.
i'm pretty excited right now. just in general. all the time. beaming from ear to ear and loving the warm feelings inside. fuck! i sound like such a hippie. i don't care because i'm the happiest i've been in years.
SO, if you're in sf tonight you should come hang out at city lights for the reading. i'll be there, sick but happy.
<3
man i love my life.
ok.
what happened this weekend? my 6 day weekend... but i'm into it, so it's cool.
friday morning i got up early and went to work for a bit and then met miss.roach downtown to go shopping since her bosses said she can't dress like a slutty hobo anymore. sadly for me i'm a smaller human so i only won a dress and a shirt we can share outta the deal. that, and i sure do like watching her change. we spent a few hours in the city and headed to oakland for first friday, which we have vowed to frequent at least for the warm months. then we met up with my favourite daddy-o, julio, and got some beers at uptown. more people came to hang out because the table i'm sitting at is always the most fun and eventually closed the place down and made a taco truck run then crashing out pretty hard. fuck i love taco trucks.
saturday was amazaballs. cloud came over with patron and beer while i picked out a shirt and hated my hair and realized i was probably pms-ing. i was inspired by the booze and wore something a little mexican.. maybe.. who knows it was green and made me think of mexico so i guess thats good enough. we headed to pop's for trike races and bbq time where shots were immediate. a quick tequila cheers to mexico and canada with adam_vincent and he was back to grillin' and i was on to chatting up everyone who would talk to me and drinking $1 pbr
trike races were espically exciting for me this year. i think i'm just really happy right now so everything is an exciting adventure no matter the outcome and i really am enjoying every experience honestly and whole heartedly. (f-ing hippie) thistle was pretty excited too. thats what happens when a man in a leotard gives you a rose.
so after races we went for mexican food and i'm pretty sure i didn't eat but probably drank and then to the winner's(lil_tuffy) house for party time excellent where i went right to the roof because it's my favourite spot EVER and it has excellent firework veiwing options. when party time was over there a few of us went back to oakland to my apartment to drink more beers and celebrate america or whatever but we were all pretty tired from the marathon drinking and excitment that was pretty quickly passed out.
sunday was pretty exceptional as well. although brutally hungover i donned a bikini and went to san ramon to my friend cloud's parents house with lou and my friend jake to lay by a pool and drink beer and recover. bentley dog loved it and ran around the yard all day and i loved getting that vitamin d and hanging with people i adore. we cooked some veggies and veggie burgers and drank a few beers and once the sun went down went back to my apartment for movie time. i should mention i fell asleep in the car for the second time that night. i'm like a baby. in a bed i'm a mess but put my in the back seat of a car and i'm out!
monday work... got a summer flu and made a badass avacado melt and watch patrick swayze be sexy in roadhouse. yes i mean it.
today is gonna rule pretty much too!
when i get off work i'm going to ride my sick self home and get situated and head right back out to meet lou(roach btw) and go meet up with adria and head to the mission for a hightower show and rootbeer floats. then hang out with her and ZakSmith tomorrow and go to his book reading in berkeley.
I FUCKING LOVE SUMMER!!! the only thing missing is jane_tee .
btw look what happened to my poor body...
it is WAY worse in person. ha.
what did you do for 4th of july?
ok.
what happened this weekend? my 6 day weekend... but i'm into it, so it's cool.
friday morning i got up early and went to work for a bit and then met miss.roach downtown to go shopping since her bosses said she can't dress like a slutty hobo anymore. sadly for me i'm a smaller human so i only won a dress and a shirt we can share outta the deal. that, and i sure do like watching her change. we spent a few hours in the city and headed to oakland for first friday, which we have vowed to frequent at least for the warm months. then we met up with my favourite daddy-o, julio, and got some beers at uptown. more people came to hang out because the table i'm sitting at is always the most fun and eventually closed the place down and made a taco truck run then crashing out pretty hard. fuck i love taco trucks.
saturday was amazaballs. cloud came over with patron and beer while i picked out a shirt and hated my hair and realized i was probably pms-ing. i was inspired by the booze and wore something a little mexican.. maybe.. who knows it was green and made me think of mexico so i guess thats good enough. we headed to pop's for trike races and bbq time where shots were immediate. a quick tequila cheers to mexico and canada with adam_vincent and he was back to grillin' and i was on to chatting up everyone who would talk to me and drinking $1 pbr
trike races were espically exciting for me this year. i think i'm just really happy right now so everything is an exciting adventure no matter the outcome and i really am enjoying every experience honestly and whole heartedly. (f-ing hippie) thistle was pretty excited too. thats what happens when a man in a leotard gives you a rose.
so after races we went for mexican food and i'm pretty sure i didn't eat but probably drank and then to the winner's(lil_tuffy) house for party time excellent where i went right to the roof because it's my favourite spot EVER and it has excellent firework veiwing options. when party time was over there a few of us went back to oakland to my apartment to drink more beers and celebrate america or whatever but we were all pretty tired from the marathon drinking and excitment that was pretty quickly passed out.
sunday was pretty exceptional as well. although brutally hungover i donned a bikini and went to san ramon to my friend cloud's parents house with lou and my friend jake to lay by a pool and drink beer and recover. bentley dog loved it and ran around the yard all day and i loved getting that vitamin d and hanging with people i adore. we cooked some veggies and veggie burgers and drank a few beers and once the sun went down went back to my apartment for movie time. i should mention i fell asleep in the car for the second time that night. i'm like a baby. in a bed i'm a mess but put my in the back seat of a car and i'm out!
monday work... got a summer flu and made a badass avacado melt and watch patrick swayze be sexy in roadhouse. yes i mean it.
today is gonna rule pretty much too!
when i get off work i'm going to ride my sick self home and get situated and head right back out to meet lou(roach btw) and go meet up with adria and head to the mission for a hightower show and rootbeer floats. then hang out with her and ZakSmith tomorrow and go to his book reading in berkeley.
I FUCKING LOVE SUMMER!!! the only thing missing is jane_tee .
btw look what happened to my poor body...
it is WAY worse in person. ha.
what did you do for 4th of july?
- meet lou downtown
- go to sf and shop for her new fancy work clothes
- back to oakland
- hang out with julio
- go to first friday(wander downtown oakland)
- sleep
- get pretty
- go to pop's
- drink
- TRIKE RACES!!!
- magic
i've eaten mexican food in some form or another, everyday for probably the last week and a half . life rules.
