I visited my parents' house for my birthday, and my father prepared a feast of roast beef and lobster for me. The roast beef was from a recipe that he made over 30 years ago. For presents I got books by Dostoevsky, Mishima Yukio, Pamuk, and a bunch more from the greatest thinkers in history. I also got some random other cool presents (like a fashionable bag from Italy), of which I will post more pictures later.











Something about this next photo makes me look REALLY Japanese -_-






Oh yes, and it seems that I forgot to mention that I finally cut my hair short. Some previews:




I also stopped biting my nails too. For anybody who didn't know, I bit them for nearly TWENTY years straight--since I was 5! Check out my french manicure (my hand's on top, not the ones with veins left lol)


Since I've been making a few changes around here I was also wondering if I should begin wearing less makeup. And I would like everybody's HONEST opinion, not what I want to hear. I know I look much better with makeup but sometimes I wonder if it's worth the extra effort.

Just some previews of what it would look like.
:

I am looking for a photographer in the Orange County area that would be willing to shoot an upcoming set for SG soon... hit me up if you're interested.

What's up! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!! Sorry I've been gone so long, I haven't logged into any of my accounts online in almost 2 months...

I've been getting myself together; I'm on methadone maintenance now and I will be going back to my university in California this year, majoring in medical science (I won't say what science though ) . So I've been busy with moving and all, plus I got kinda sick hence my long absence.

Oh yeah, and I'm finally gonna do this: If anybody feels like adding me on myspace, it's www.myspace.com/mistressk

I'll be catching up with you guys soon. Is there anything I missed? Any drama? tell me about it, or link me!

Also, I'm looking for a photographer in the southern California region (preferably somebody that's an SG photographer or an SG) that would be willing to do a shoot sometime in August... I have an idea for a perfect theme, and have most of my outfit already, I'll just have to complete the rest of the storyline.

A Video of my Golden Shower



http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Psyche/videos/3965/#comments

I'm selling medical supplies:

http://suicidegirls.com/groups/SuicideGirl+Sales/topics/317909/#post5214335

To all those who are interested......

*sigh* whats a girl to do when she is involved with a boy whom she likes very much physically, but knows they have nothing in common emotionally?



also pics of my new short hair:

Pictures of my laboratory getting set up... All this is pretty much just for decoration atm though. Just collection items... cause I'm a nerd like that. It might look pretty weird and shifty to my b/f's PO when he comes out to live with me, but I'll make sure he knows that I am hyperglycemic (most of my syringes are insulin, the ones in the pictures are mainly for vials), and I'd also make it very clear that I'm a laboratory science major. I keep all my scheduled meds locked up so nobody can steal 'em, so that'll look real good when he starts dropping by. He won't catch me for nuttin'! :-P








The powder in the blue bin is actually pure, concentrated Sulfamethoxazole. don't ask... just... don't ask. LOL. and the test tubes I used in an SG set that is still unqueued and waiting to go live... :-D



*droolz @ the end*

Forgot to take pictures of my Androgel tourniquet and eyedroppers. I'll do that when my microbore infusion tubes, IV catheters, and winged phlebotomy sets come in.

This is my idea of interior home decoration, folks... XD

so now that im making a lot more money and am sick of riding the bus since I gave away my volkswagen to my sister years ago, ive been looking at purchasing a new car, my DREAM car in fact.... which is a 1978 25th anniversary edition chevy corvette. it looks something like this:








god it is so beautiful. I could just cry... I know, I know, before I get bitched I just want to clarify that I KNOW its not really ecomonical or environmentally-friendly I know ill have to install a new engine in it--probably an LS1 or an LS6, and considering the engine is like 5.6L ill probably get like, 8 fucking miles to the gallon (probably even less LMAO).... but, but... its just one of those things where you want it "because youve always wanted one ever since you were a kid."

I know. I dont have asian genes. moving on...

parking will be a bitch. especially to somebody who hasnt driven in almost 2 years; imma have to practice like a motherfucker. that thing is like a fucking weiner dog. but the biggest bitch will probably be installing a good security system to ensure my baby doesnt get stolen (seriously, ive seen at least 3 cars with their license plates torn off sitting around for sale in this neighborhood). I live in the north-east side of town which is gheeeeeeeeeeeeeettttooooo fabulous crime-ridden.... so im gonna have to install a lo-jack or on-star or something along the likes but I know that cant be cheap either---anybody have a price in mind?

I know of at least two specialty corvette dealerships, but I will have to go all the way back to california to see their selection (which I will gladly do unless anybody knows of one in another area). the reason I would rather buy from a dealer than a private person is because at least that way the car comes with a warranty and I can take out a loan. as for my price range, for these old cars I wouldnt pay above $8000. if theres no new engine installed in it, theres no way in hell id pay $4k or above. what does everybody think about this? reasonable? am I going too high even? of course id have to give it in a nice slick paint job too. a certain blue/purple metallic and shiny hue comes to mind... you know, the kind that looks turquoise from far away but morphs into a gradual deep purple the closer and closer you get to it. awwwww yea sexified!

SO, heres the important part: when shopping for an antique car, what are the things that I should look out for? if anybody knows, please feel free and go ahead and list them. youd be doing me a huuuuuuge, huge favor.

if I dont get positive answers at all about this whole thing I suppose I will resort to a toyota hybrid or cheap kia, or end up attending one of those automotive police auctions :/ anyways, thanks in advance everybody!

Holy FUCK I have been having a rough week. (read this first to understand what's going on: )

So I posted that other thread about my deteriorating health right. Well my UTI that I had actually DID turn to sepsis... but there was nothing i could do about it because i had booked the earliest appt at the clinic i could next week, and that was 2 weeks ago because they were all booked until then. and as stupid as this sounds, i just didnt want to go to emergency because ive seriously had to go in so many times, i am going to be in debt for decades because of it, and i simply told myself last time: "If you keep going to the hospital over and over you're not learning your lesson.if you fuck up NEXT time, dont even bother going to emergency services... because as long as you keep getting babied and being saved from trouble, all you'll be doing is wasting everybody's time and your money." call it harsh if you will, but i say its time for self-discipline.

i mean, everything had been leading up to it... all the signs... how could i not have caught on?

so it goes like this. starting 3 days ago i had been having imminent and very explosive, runny diarrhea despite the fact that i had been using heroin to keep me stabilized. i couldnt explain it, and called the gastroentologist to get a colonoscopy exam done. i was convinced i had food poisoning or an intestinal parasite or something. another thing i had noticed in this week in particular, is that i have been having HUGE inflammatory response in all of my injection spots. all of them were spreading too in an infectious manner, until i basically swabbed with an antiseptic and then coated the affected swollen areas with antibiotic cream. i then recall the methadone clinic mentioning that my WBC counts were higher than normal, and that my body was also alkaline, but i simply dismissed it something that was related to my UTI. naturally, i also figured the elevated BUN/creatinine levels were attributed to just that; a urinary tract infection and nothing more. these were all in fact, symptoms that were attributed to sepsis that had been slowly building up--and this also definitely explained the hyperglycemia, abnormal EKG (although when i got the fever i had brief tachycardia as opposed to sinus bradycardia), not to mention slow as hell respiratory rate that would exhaust me even after the simplest of activities (IE walking up a flight of stairs, going outside to check my mail) http://www.kcom.edu/faculty/chamberlain/Website/lectures/lecture/sepsis.htm

anyways, who else but my friend who had OVERDOSED was at my house. i guess my "talk" with him about getting serious really struck him, and he appeared back at my doorstep asking me to enroll him in school so he could do something valuable with his life. i couldnt believe that i had influenced him, i felt so happy for him. he warned that he wasnt very smart and he was getting too old for construction and was really getting sick of manual labor anyway, so i mentioned that i could definitely help him if he attended school for medical training. for somebody of his credentials and GPA, i suggested that he start out with a vocation school (keep in mind this fucker hasn't been in school a LOOOONG ass mo'fucken time, it's been like at least 20 years). anyways, i suggest he take this 3 to 6 month course in PHLEBOTOMY--because it was something i KNEW he would be good at, and he wouldnt get bored of doing all day, not to mention working in a laboratory setting was definitely something that had appealed to him, but he thought he was incapable of, due to inconfidence... which is understandable, considering he wasn't really exactly the best student in bio, chem, and anatomy--although he excelled in mathematics and physics. hence why he made a great architect. hence why he would like playing with toys such as vacuum pressured needles to draw blood, infusion sets, winged catheters... (i'll take a picture of a home-made IV catheter that we both made to inject a couple hundred milligrams of phenobarbital powder one time. the amount we used required at least 3mL of fluid each, and it knocked us both right out--that was probably the coolest paraphernalia i've ever made out from scratch.

anyways thats WAY besides the point, sorry i got sidetracked because im just so proud of my friend. he's out looking for a job as we speak and pawning off things he doesn't need, trying to sell his truck, to gain enough money to get him on his fees and make him financially dependent so he can focus on studies for a short term.

well, after hours of looking on the computer for jobs that paid at least in the double digits and making phone call after phone call, i suddenly became very sleepy and THATS when the fever hit me, HARD. i decided to lie down and maybe take a nap because it happened while my friend was showering. but everytime i reach the point of JUST falling to the point of sleep, at least one or two of my limbs would jerk violently waking me up in an instant. this behavior has been going on for day 3 now (and this is seriously with no stimulants either, i've been only doing h and metadone and only fell asleep like 4 hours after that shot of pheno).. so at this point i just feel completely delirious from the sleep deprivation alone. i started hallucinating in the bed and see a cloud hovering above me, and from this cloud a pair of hands come reaching out to grab me and draw me upwards with them... i can almost feel as if i am being lifted and dragged towards the sky, but then the hands drop me and the cloud circles another group of gloomy looking clouds which all continue to circle me above my head.

yes, at this point i realize i was having nightmarish hallucinations, but im trying to explain to you just how high my fever was. i live in the desert, and i started getting chills to the point i would be wearing winter sweats with ugg boots, i had the heated blanket wrapped around me.

as soon as my friend hopped out of the shower his first words were: "Oh no..." he knew i wasnt in good condition. i was curled up in the bed, lying on my back with a dstant look in the eyes, trembling from the chills, and he knew about my UTI that i had been diagnosed with several weeks ago, and how i was postponing treatment due to lack of resources (and again, yes i cant stress enough that it is unwise but sometimes you are left with no option) well, it just so happens that my friend's brother died from sepsis that had all started because of an infection that had started from his leg. he left it untreated and refused to go to the hospital when urged by his wife and that very same day he died in his sleep.

due to this reason, my brother's niece (the daughter of his brother that had died) always had learned to see doctors for ANY suspected infection, and was constantly getting prescribed numerous supplies of antibiotics. he called her up and she said that the only one that she had left was cephalexin 500mg. i've had them before for cellulitis infection--its not as good as septra DS or bactrim, but i knew it 'd definitely keep me holding on for at LEAST 5 days until i have my appointment. so he drove 30 miles out of his way to his niece''s, so i could at least hinder or slow down at least one of the infections in my body, until i get treatment for the rest.

man, i could have died had my friend who had almost died that i resuscitated had been there to help me. talk about ifull on irony. its not even all this hassle that's been fucking with my head hardcore. it's this whole turnout of events. SYNCHRONICITY--the coinciding of two seemingly unrelated events. and yet, this is such a prime example of karma that i cant shake it. in my case, this truly was an eye for an eye--a life for a life. had i chosen to have acted selfishly and never saved my friend from dying from a heroin overdose, he wouldn't have been there to save me from total organ failure at the VERY FIRST sign of symptoms. sepsis is so serious approximately 50% of people who get it die in the hospital--amounting to roughly 500,000 a year--so it is of utmost importance that you get it treated at the very first stage for the best chance at full recovery. if this isnt karma at its finest, i truly dont know what is. now i honestly feel like i've been given first-hand evidence, that there is, in fact, a reason, a purpose, for all of the consequences we must face in life. they are tests that you must pass by showing off your true character, and only then will you be rewarded.

Speaking of which, I also just got promoted to a higher position at the hospital I work at, so I'll be damned if I ain't gonna get a paid vacation to a nation of my choice. And I've already decided--this year, I've chosen to spend my days in Budapest (of course I'll stop by my friend's place in Sweden and we would hit up Denmark and go sailing), so uhhhh fuck yeah, I'm alive and here I cuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! (unless somebody can recommend a better city in the land of Hungary)

Until then, keep truckin on my bruthaz...

Finally got my bluetooth to work, so I uploaded some pics of me messing around with makeup...