Praesepe's December 02, 2012 blog

Praesepe wandering star

I’m private

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Sunday blog

DECEMBER 2, 2012 @ 03:06 AM

Dear sg, please change my profile picture ? I feel like that photo is from a decade ago.

ear candy

“a reasonable man adapts to the world.
an unreasonable man tries to make the world adapt to him.
therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
-shaw

lengthy blurb about my doings as of late

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I have been in yucca valley, California since the beginning of October. it’s been a very surreal experience for me, for many reasons. I came here because my great aunt broke her foot and her and my uncle needed some help. She’s been in a wheelchair since I got here, but lately has started using a walker more, and has an appointment this Tuesday where hopefully she’ll be ready to move to the next stage of healing. I had never met her or my uncle, and had actually just talked to them for the first time this past summer while staying with ma in texas. I didn’t really know what to expect, and I wouldn’t say I prepared myself too well either , I just came to help since they needed assistance and I didn’t have much goin on in texas. There have been days that this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and it’s a huge lesson in patience, faith, strength and compassion for me. I feel like I’m on a quest though, every day brings a new struggle whether it’s emotional and vague or physical and tangible. I have felt like a bird in a cage, a diluted version of myself at times, and recently started to feel like my life was hold. I’ve had other negative thoughts, but this whole experience has been brought to me so I can grow from it, and often I can keep a positive outlook if I remember that I’m helping and giving, and these are perhaps some of the best things humans are capable of, compassion and unconditional love right ? I am not doing perfectly, and I have gained more respect for people in caregiving than I ever really considered. It’s not been easy, in addition to the normal issues associated with day to day living, they had to move at the end of October—moving is hardly ever enjoyable, but moving when you’re in a wheelchair and can’t pack your things so you have to instruct someone else on how to do it (or being the person who’s being instructed, “I’m not even supposed to be here today!!”) is especially rough---there were moments of extreme tension and high tempers—at one point I almost said “you’re being really hostile” but decided to just leave the room and breathe for a minute instead.

That’s one great thing about being here, even when things are rough and I feel like I can’t do it anymore, I can just look around me and feel better. I’m in a desert valley, surrounded by cacti and mountains. I hear coyotes at night when I’m bundled up against the brisk fall desert wind and talkin on my phone with my Colorado lover. I still have plans to go there, but I’m waitin on some metatarsals. . . once I leave here, I’m more than likely going to dread my hair finally. I’ve been wanting to for a few years but just haven’t yet, I’ve kept saying “it’s not time yet,” but I believe that shortly after I leave here, it will finally be time. I have 10 already, and it’s kinda awkward takin care of dreads with regular hair, they need completely different forms of maintenance to be kept well. Still have a while on that—

I was planning on going to the venice beach area once my aunt was better. Originally I thought I might stay for a few weeks just because it’s a fun place that i have friends I could stay with, and it would be like a breath of fresh air after being here, but now that I’ve been here this long I think I only want to stay there a week (hopefully shooting with milloux which I’m really looking forward to---I feel like it’s been way longer than a year since the last time I shot) because I’m getting a lil antsy for a Colorado style hug, but we’ll see where the wind blows. I didn’t prepare mentally for how long I would be here, and definitely didn’t consider any holidays being spent here. And I have few social interactions with people my own age, other than what phones and computers can do. I was lucky to get a little break from the norm and go to Arizona for 5 days over thanksgiving with a friend of my aunt’s. there were bonfires and hoopin and whiskey drinkin----and walkin in the desert at night with nothing but the moon for light made me feel a little like hunter s Thompson. Now that I’m back though, I am even moreso looking forward to leaving, because I miss my independence, lifestyle choices, and social activity. I’m looking forward to buying my own groceries and penny pinching to pay rent. Never thought I’d say that, but I am ready for that personal freedom again.

I really miss being active on this site, I’ve considered leaving --- just because I feel so out of it you know ? like I don’t really feel like a part of the site anymore because I’ve been so distant for so long. I used to get on here frequently (almost too much!) and write more, and keep in contact with people better. I know, life happens. But who am I kidding, I don’t want to leave : ]

i've neglected my camera, but i do post on instagram fairly often.

[chaos and yarn]

until next time my lil space travellers
p.m/44

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Ginary

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

DEC 05, 2012 05:45 AM

Im waiting too ... beautiful pictures my love

mentha

Portugal

September 2012

DEC 06, 2012 10:07 AM

Yes, I'm pretty happy about the fact that it's fixed! And if thought I've read your blog already I have to say it again: Happy to know that you're having a good time!

Tulip6

HOPEFUL

Canada

DEC 06, 2012 09:15 PM

I am so glad that you enjoyed my erotic stories Praesepe, and that they had such a lovely effect on you! You have boosted my ego! Just wait for PART 2!

I’ve seen some amazing fire hooping when I was down in Australia last year. I tried a bit of fire poi and fire staffing, I definitely think getting involved in one of those arts is my next goal. It’s just such a free spirited thing, and you can really see that especially in your videos.

Also thank you so incredibly much for such a long novel on my blog! I immediately messaged my Beau and told him that he had to check out the comments you left me on my blog and video. He was laughing at all my swooning and enthusiasm.

I have decided to do a photo set for SG! I’ve got a photographer lined up and we have a theme in mind. I am just waiting to get the cedrillion panties I got from Agent Provocateur and then I can finally get it done. I’m going to be very busy though this next month with courses I have to take at the pool, the hours after that it involves, plus working 40 hours a week, but I am determined to get that set submitted!

I have a question for you. Who did the lovely water colour art work on your ribs? I have a water colour tattoo idea in mind that I would like to get done, but I am very picky about my tattoos, so I am looking for water colour tattoo artists. I was wondering who did yours or if you know of any other exceptionally talented water colour tattoo artists.

I hope you get to spend New Years with your love! Especially during that time of the year when the people you want to be around most are the ones you love. It must be so hard for you to be so far away. I can understand that. My Beau--Andy--is from Sweden. We haven’t met, but we’ve been talking to each other for almost two years now. He is my bestfriend and one of the few people who have made such an impact on my life. I really hope that New Years works out for you! Be sure to let me know!

How long have you played the ukulele for? What kind do you have? Why haven’t you posted any videos?! Haha, I bet you play beautifully. I’ve created another song, but I am having the hardest time trying to find a picking pattern that goes to the way I sing it. I don’t think a strumming pattern will work because the way I figured out the notes are all along the A string. Do you have any site suggestions?

Good luck with your language learning! Let me know what you think of Teach Yourself ___. Beau has been helping me with my Swedish and he’s gone over a bit of the book with me, showing me what is too formal and the alternative informal more commons phrases to it. I am interested to hear your opinion.

Well I think I’ve bothered you with enough questions. I am just so very excited that you have taken an interest in me so I am going to ‘milk’ this friendship! Haha.

xoxo
Tulip

ron4164

Ponchatoula, LA

January 2007

DEC 08, 2012 02:57 AM

Hope your great aunt is doing better now.

Every time I see any SGs thinking of leaving, one thing pops up in my mind.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Hope you have a nice holiday season Praesepe.
Take care and have fun my friend.

RollnRob

Canandaigua, NY

April 2008

DEC 08, 2012 06:36 AM

my nature is first to rebel against force change, then after I get past my anger I meditate on how I can benefit from the force Your so right about every day, sometimes multiple times.

OK first of all there is no way you've been around the block a couple of times!! More like maybe 3 quarters of the way around one block is more like it ... age wise that is ❤

Love your blogs and sets your gorgeous creature ..

peace & love ❤

RemoD66

Marina, CA

January 2009

DEC 08, 2012 07:22 AM

Well, they've been quite kind to me as well... and you were one of the first to make me welcome... much appreciation to you!

Gofuserectus

Mingo Junction, OH

February 2004

DEC 08, 2012 08:38 AM

thank you ! i love all your pictures too!

Kay

SUICIDEGIRL

Antarctica

DEC 08, 2012 02:17 PM

Quite the amazing thing you are doing. It sounds like you have done the right thing, hard as it may be. People in caregiving positions always amaze me. Particularly when they have been at it for years and years. I know I definitely do not have it in me. They are definitely a special breed.

Take care you, and hopefully you will have that rent payment due soon.

~cheers

opus52

Colorado Springs, CO

December 2010

DEC 08, 2012 09:00 PM

You are a good soul for doing what you are doing right now.

YevlaX

USA

July 2010

DEC 08, 2012 09:37 PM

My condition, to make a very long and complicated story short; Some of the medicines I have taken for many years due to a kidney transplant I received when I was young have damaged my body to the point where it no longer produces its' own blood. I've been going to the Brown Cancer Center here in Louisville for a little over a year now, getting transfusions and undergoing other treatments (the Cancer Center is also where they do all of the hematology work). Nothing has took yet, and early next year I'm going to get zapped with something a little stronger and submit to voluntary hospitalization for a while, so we'll see how that goes.

Thank for your kind words. They cheered me up a little today when I read them after waking up and doing my before-breakast internet browsing routine. I've resolved to do a lot more writing, it is something I can do every once in a while even if I'm sick, and who knows? Maybe it'll actually lead to me being published, which is a grand dream of mine. I can't say I'm 'well', per say, but I am in fact surviving and making little plans each day. And sometimes thats all we can ask for

ericwine

Charlotte Hall, MD

January 2007

DEC 09, 2012 02:51 AM

I wonder why they won't approve the pics you're choosing. Very odd. As far as I know, they want headshots and prefer that they come from sets, but I don't know of any other requirement - it's not like a SG would choose a pic that's unflattering! You do look different now.
I better go save "Golden Halo" before you delete it, then! At least Elogan will grace the front page sooner or later.
Yes, the sciatica comes from the L5 vertebra being misaligned. Even a non-doctor like me could see it on the x-ray! Strengthening the piriformis probably wouldn't hurt, though.