Yeah, it'd nice to be able to tell the world to fuck off for awhile, and just do whatever you wanted for, like, a year. And you're in California, so you get the whole "too many eyes on you" thing worse, cause there's 30 million people there.

I go through cycles where I throw out/donate/sell all the shit I have and don't need. It's really quite satisfying. We are weighed down far too much by our possessions.

The only time I feel like there are too many eyes on me is when I'm naked on the internet. But those eyes aren't usually on me for long.

umm the east coast??

i dream of the day where i'll get a cozy place in the woods with some goats and lamas a little art studio to paint in and a good breeze to read by, but near enough to a city for whatnots and whosits...
i'm always plotting for some kind of -ness that i'm not currently enjoying
things are always pretty decent -good even, but i'm always wanting something simpler with less worry and less resposiblities, etc.
so... i think i'm hearing ya.

hehe soemtimes I'd like a few more eyes on me... but that feeling always passes. I feel you about the drama deal and the runaway deal... but at least you have the will and means to do so. I'm in the military and I hate it so much. I wish that tomorrow I could just say "I'm done", take my college money and run away from San Antonio and do things different somewhere else. But I can't... I got another year or so before they let me out and I can be myself again. Sometimes you just gotta find something to smile about I guess.

chugalug
-Stew

That's why I moved into THE COMPOUND.

I've been through many wipe-it-clean phases myself. Sometimes it all just makes too much sense to do what makes no sense at all. I do love the idea of coast city and good food. Way to wipe it clean.

Try writing "worry" on the back of one hand and "release" on the back of the other. Or on your wrists if the back of your hand is too obvious. Each time your eyes catch the "worry" word look to "release" and try to release your fear. From worry you gain nothing except a damaged mental state.

There is nothing you can lose that worrying will help you hold on to.

My 2 cents...

Everyone wants that, everyone feels that. And most people are too lazy to cook as well as a good restaurant chef when they're only feeding themselves.

That said... you're starting to sound like a whining celebrity. Stop that!

With so many people getting sick from 'everyday stress' as I think they put it these days, you can't help but think there's something fundamentally wrong with the way we run our lives. As a society, I mean. Being a bunch of consumers isn't good for us. We need to change.

Cutting down on the expresso might be a good start...

I'm not kidding when I say that my mom had to talk me out of just walking away and hitchhiking to California and L.A. and just seeing what would happen there just earlier last week. I hope you feel better soon sweetie. Miss chatting with ya.

Remy

seriously. i always dream of a secluded cabin. off grid green energy. grow more than i buy. no one for miles. simple. i guess thats why hitting the lottery seems so dreamy, cause i could still live the same way, but with no concerns of responsibility.

oh, did you ever find a bag for your mac book?

Times like this where I really loathe living on the wrong coast.... Not that that implies anyone tagging along but it sounds so nice to me as well.