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I have a new head... my friends are calling me skittles xp
My friend Avigon has a set up in member review. Its her first set and she's super excited, so go give her lots of love tonight!
So the past week Ive been homeless with Ty, mostly sleeping in my car, while taking some quickstart classes for Dreamweaver and Flash at the school I just graduated from. Not having an apartment sucks because I refuse to return home unless necessary, Im just too stubborn, and independent at this point to be able to handle it. So Im learning the way of the squatter, I dont know, is it weird that I think its sort of romantic to live out of your car with your boyfriend? I love my tramp, my alley cat. We went to Dickies this really nice cliff jumping place to go swimming. It took me a good half an hour to work up the courage to jump the smallest 30 ft drop, I hit the water ass first and it looked like someone took a paddle to me. Right now Im relaxing at the local watering hole (starbucks ::hangs head:
because Ive got some wireless access and wanted to say hi.
My friend Avigon has a set up in member review. Its her first set and she's super excited, so go give her lots of love tonight!
So the past week Ive been homeless with Ty, mostly sleeping in my car, while taking some quickstart classes for Dreamweaver and Flash at the school I just graduated from. Not having an apartment sucks because I refuse to return home unless necessary, Im just too stubborn, and independent at this point to be able to handle it. So Im learning the way of the squatter, I dont know, is it weird that I think its sort of romantic to live out of your car with your boyfriend? I love my tramp, my alley cat. We went to Dickies this really nice cliff jumping place to go swimming. It took me a good half an hour to work up the courage to jump the smallest 30 ft drop, I hit the water ass first and it looked like someone took a paddle to me. Right now Im relaxing at the local watering hole (starbucks ::hangs head:
because Ive got some wireless access and wanted to say hi.
My last memory of him was earlier that day before he passed away, a few of us went to sit at this waterfall. He plucked a wild flower, gave it to me with a charming little head bow and half smile and said "Ehem, A flower for the lady?". This wild flower, like him, was living by its own discretion, untended, unplanned, thriving still despite its rocky soil, & arguably all the more beautiful for it. Poppy flowers plucked our wild flower away from us. but the sweet memory it imparted lingers much longer then its petals kept from falling. You'll out live your fallen petals in the hearts and minds of those firmly planted in safer soils. Who always admired your view of the waterfall's unstoppable downward motion.
So Im back to living with my parents in my hometown in Dumont (NJ)... Kind of a regression, as I was so fond of my own apartment, own rules, own life, new friends, and my amour back in Croton (NY).
Luckily its only a temporary move, as Im heading to Long Island in two months to live at NYIT in a ::gulp:: dorm.
Past week was interesting, there was blood bath wrestling at the Pub on Friday, I pretty much got my ass kicked...to give you a mental picture think of a kitten standing on its back legs pretending its tough and trying to growl then being full on tackled by a lioness. All I can say, is lots of face plants and slippery body slams. As I got drunker I just kept challenging girls, untill I had lost to 6 girls and threw my drunk boyfriend in (running tackle cheap shot), and realized it was time to call it quits when past out in my car.
Then sat we somehow found ourselves at a giant biker bar benefit, drinking jack with a adorable bear of a man.
Then sun we found our selves at the pride parade in NYC being totally rained out (poor queens with their running mascara)
Then Monday I was officially kicked out of my apartment.
Tomorrow Im going to my friends penthouse in Manhattan to see some fourth of July fireworks, and then sat Im going to see infected mushroom at Webster hall, so excited!
Luckily its only a temporary move, as Im heading to Long Island in two months to live at NYIT in a ::gulp:: dorm.
Past week was interesting, there was blood bath wrestling at the Pub on Friday, I pretty much got my ass kicked...to give you a mental picture think of a kitten standing on its back legs pretending its tough and trying to growl then being full on tackled by a lioness. All I can say, is lots of face plants and slippery body slams. As I got drunker I just kept challenging girls, untill I had lost to 6 girls and threw my drunk boyfriend in (running tackle cheap shot), and realized it was time to call it quits when past out in my car.
Then sat we somehow found ourselves at a giant biker bar benefit, drinking jack with a adorable bear of a man.
Then sun we found our selves at the pride parade in NYC being totally rained out (poor queens with their running mascara)
Then Monday I was officially kicked out of my apartment.
Tomorrow Im going to my friends penthouse in Manhattan to see some fourth of July fireworks, and then sat Im going to see infected mushroom at Webster hall, so excited!
Who wants to come and wrestle me drunk in a pool of slippery theatrical blood? Thats right, its going down tomorrow night!? Come hang out with me and my friends tomorrow at a awesome event at Popeye's Pub. Id love to see you all!
Date: June 27
5pm to the we hours of the morning ;p...
Popeye's Pub
2058 E Main St
Cortlandt Manor
NY 10567
Date: June 27
5pm to the we hours of the morning ;p...
Popeye's Pub
2058 E Main St
Cortlandt Manor
NY 10567
New tattoo on my chest! ^_^
"In the arts, vanitas is a type of symbolic still life painting from the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. The term vanitas itself refers to the arts, learning and time. The word is Latin, meaning "emptiness" and loosely translated corresponds to the meaninglessness of earthly life and the transient nature of vanity. Ecclesiastes 1:2 from the Bible is often quoted in conjunction with this term. The Vulgate (Latin translation of the Bible) renders the verse as Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas. The verse is translated as Vanity of vanities; all is vanity by the King James Version of the Bible, and Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless by the New International Version of the Bible.
Paintings executed in the vanitas style are meant as a reminder of the transience of life, the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death, encouraging a sombre world view.
Common vanitas symbols include skulls, which are a reminder of the certainty of death; rotten fruit, which symbolizes decay like ageing; bubbles, which symbolize the brevity of life and suddenness of death; smoke, watches, and hourglasses, which symbolize the brevity of life; and musical instruments, which symbolize brevity and the ephemeral nature of life."
Everything is an vain illusion, everything it temporary, everything is fleeting and relative..
Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas
"In all we do, and hear, and see,
Is restless Toil, and Vanity.
While yet the rolling earth abides,
Men come and go like ocean tides;
And ere one generation dies,
Another in its place shall rise;
That, sinking soon into the grave,
Others succeed, like wave on wave;
Light cannot fill the craving eye,
Nor riches half our wants supply;
Pleasure but doubles future pain,
And joy brings sorrow in her train;
Laughter is mad, and reckless mirth
What does she in this weary earth?
Should Wealth, or Fame, our Life employ,
Death comes, our labour to destroy;
To snatch the untasted cup away,
For which we toiled so many a day.
What, then, remains for wretched man?
To use life's comforts while he can,
Enjoy the blessings mortality bestows,
Assist his friends, forgive his foes;
Knowing that earthly joys decay,
But hoping through the darkest day."
"When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit
And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did"
I graduate from WCC tomorrow...loads of family and me putting on the fake happy-mask time, Im going to try to not be all sad tonight so Im not so transparent tomorrow.
I got the best scholarships and Grants to NYIT for Merit (Deans list ;p), Portfolio, and being a transfer. I'm off to live in Long Island I guess.
I got new braid extensions, to treat myself, since the birthday was less then spectacular and I haven't been too chipper lately. (Thanks for the birthday wishes though)
Its a strange feeling...I have absolutely no Idea how this summer is going to play out at this point. I was planning to spend it with Ty, but now I don't think its so healthy for me to stay here, I'll either lock myself in my room for three months or do a number of stupid things I regret, maybe even go all out, and try both at once. So I'm hoping to find a roommate replacement sooner then I had wanted before so I can go home and be around my family for a while, maybe mend some broken ties I left with friends before disappearing under my academic rock for another two years. I don't really have anything besides my family right now, thats not as sad as it might sound, I think thats still a blessing.
I wont be doing a shoot for a while, which sucks because I have a very specific idea planned for the next set, and actually have a lot of free time since I lack social skills, am out of school, and have no bestfriend/boyfriend to spend time with... but I don't shoot nude with out Ty, it sounds funny, to do something like SG one might assume Id have to be very comfortable in my own skin, not shy or modest, or uptight...but I need someone there who I trust, love, and am intimate with...
It sounds warped but it makes it less cold and alien, it makes me feel safe with him there...but Im not sure we're even talking...
Along with the fact that its just idiotic and unsafe to shoot with out a chaperon...
Revised: I just totally figured out the answer for the no-chaperon safety dilemma, multi girl set! Yay! Any takers?
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit
And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did"
I graduate from WCC tomorrow...loads of family and me putting on the fake happy-mask time, Im going to try to not be all sad tonight so Im not so transparent tomorrow.
I got the best scholarships and Grants to NYIT for Merit (Deans list ;p), Portfolio, and being a transfer. I'm off to live in Long Island I guess.
I got new braid extensions, to treat myself, since the birthday was less then spectacular and I haven't been too chipper lately. (Thanks for the birthday wishes though)
Its a strange feeling...I have absolutely no Idea how this summer is going to play out at this point. I was planning to spend it with Ty, but now I don't think its so healthy for me to stay here, I'll either lock myself in my room for three months or do a number of stupid things I regret, maybe even go all out, and try both at once. So I'm hoping to find a roommate replacement sooner then I had wanted before so I can go home and be around my family for a while, maybe mend some broken ties I left with friends before disappearing under my academic rock for another two years. I don't really have anything besides my family right now, thats not as sad as it might sound, I think thats still a blessing.
I wont be doing a shoot for a while, which sucks because I have a very specific idea planned for the next set, and actually have a lot of free time since I lack social skills, am out of school, and have no bestfriend/boyfriend to spend time with... but I don't shoot nude with out Ty, it sounds funny, to do something like SG one might assume Id have to be very comfortable in my own skin, not shy or modest, or uptight...but I need someone there who I trust, love, and am intimate with...
It sounds warped but it makes it less cold and alien, it makes me feel safe with him there...but Im not sure we're even talking...
Along with the fact that its just idiotic and unsafe to shoot with out a chaperon...
Revised: I just totally figured out the answer for the no-chaperon safety dilemma, multi girl set! Yay! Any takers?
Officially, no longer a teenager today. I was already sad enough that I wasn't jailbait anymore, now this =(
My, oh-so thrilling, birthday will consist of two final exams and helping my ex-ish boyfriend move out. Grand time! The sad thing about making school and your significant other your daily focus and passion, not having friends or being active in something else, is this breaking up and this graduating thing happening all at once sort of leaves me feeling empty as shit.
Time for some heavy introspection...maybe some grand theft auto too, I mean to contrast it and all.
_____________________________________________________________________
Reminder:
Hey, so SG is encouraging get togethers with local SG's, so I snagged a venue, a charming little metal bar I frequent quite often. The night all girl bands event "The Killith Fair" (4 Female-Fronted bands, CUNT, The Gentling, Fighting over Shotgun and possibly Years of Suffering) was already going on so it so it seemed perfect, burlesque show, wet-tshirt contest, booze (lady discount), barbecue (yummy), and blood bath wrestling matches (that is like a mud wrestling only with theatrical blood xp)! There will be security as well, for peace of mind, Send me a message if you want to come so I can get a general head count, local members are totally welcome to, theres just a $5 cover charge (To pay for the bands and food).
Lets have some fun, eat some burgers, and listen to some good music people!
Date: June 27
Popeye's Pub
2058 E Main St
Cortlandt Manor
NY 10567
Hehehe...
Thats right, I work for Shinra!
(someone sent me this URL, & it was awesome...normally 13 year old that "sp3LL lyk dis" steal my pictures, but this girl is really cool and Im way flattered, because I always got mad respect for the RPing)
Thats right, I work for Shinra!
(someone sent me this URL, & it was awesome...normally 13 year old that "sp3LL lyk dis" steal my pictures, but this girl is really cool and Im way flattered, because I always got mad respect for the RPing)
Saw Iron man last night, I think I kind of have a crush on Robert Downey Jr. he's always been such a endearing mess... 
We went on a random road trip after I wrote my paper last night, to long island at 1am to visit my friend, then stayed there untill 8 am then drove to tompkins square park in the city, then stayed there untill 11, then drove to upstate NY and stayed there untill 4.
No reason for any of it.
And now I smell like beer and shame.
We went on a random road trip after I wrote my paper last night, to long island at 1am to visit my friend, then stayed there untill 8 am then drove to tompkins square park in the city, then stayed there untill 11, then drove to upstate NY and stayed there untill 4.
No reason for any of it.
And now I smell like beer and shame.
