I'm not dead! Or I may be, according to this goth test!


Section 1 - What *do* you look like?

1. Do you have black, purple, or white hair?
No
2. Do you dye your hair?
Yes
3. Do you dye your hair every 4 weeks?
Yes
4. Every week?
No
5. Do you have or have you ever had hair extensions
Yes
6. Is there such a thing as 'too much' hairspray?
No
7. Do you own more eyeliner pencils than ordinary pencils?
Yes
8. Do you wear your makeup to bed? (bonus point if you don't go to bed)
Yes
9. Could you underpin a building with your foundation?
uh...? no
10. Does it take you more than an hour to get ready to go out?
Yes
11. Can you put eyeliner on without using a mirror?
Absolutely
12. Has anyone asked you if you 'sharpen your feet'?
What the fuck?
13. Do you have more buckles than toes?
Yes
14. Have you worn fishnet on your arms?
Yes
15. Do you set off the metal detector at airports?
Yes

Section 2 - Music, Musicians, Muses
16. Do you know every Sisters of Mercy Song?
Nope
17. Can you do the actions?
.....What?
18. Have you ever seen - Bauhaus?
In pictures.
19. The Virgin Prunes?
Never heard of em.
20. Alien Sex Fiend?
This test should really be called 'Are you a goth over 30?'
21. The Sisters of Mercy?
Once again, only in pictures.
22. The Fields of the Nephlim (or the Nephlim)
no
23. Can you name the original line-up of Christain Death?
No
24. Have you ever ligged a band on the goth list?
What in the fuck is a ligged?
25. Have you ever had a pass to one of these bands?
No
26. Did you use it?
I was only 2, I wouldn't know
27. Have you been to an aftershow party with a famous goth band?
Um....... ... Does Type O count?
28. Were the members of the band scared of you?
No, I think they wanted to get in my pants, actually.
29. Was the last song you heard gothic?
No
30. Have you been in a goth band?
No

Section 3- Clubs
31. Have you been to a goth club?
Yes'm
32. Did you stay until the end?
yes'm
33. Can you slamdance?
what??
34. Can you chicken dance?
I hope not
35. Can you do the backwards & forwards bending over like Peter Murphy Dance?
Of course
36. Do you drink snakebite?
Um. No.
37. Did you go to the Batcave?
I don't do drugs
38. Are you on the guest list?
I've never been to a goth club in NY
39. Are you on first name terms with the DJ
Oh yes. Yes I was.
40. Are you the DJ?
No, thank god.

Section 4 - The Undead
41. Have you got naturally pointy teeth?
how pointy?
42. Have you worn plastic vampire teeth other than at Halloween.
YES!
43. Did you pick someone up as a result?
no....
44. Have you had sex with the undead?
In my fantasies
45. Have you been to the Wiredog Club (or equivalent)
What the fuck. No.
46. Are you a vampire?
Yes. Yes I am.
47. How do you do your makeup if you haven't got a reflection?
I can do my make-up without a mirror, biotch. I'm goth.
48. Have you ever drunk blood?
Is that porper form?
49. Have you ever drunk human blood?
uh...yeah
50. From a glass?
I don't remember, but probably not.

Section 5 - On the road
51. Have you ever been in a following?
No
52. Did you ever follow Southern Death Cult, Play Dead, X-Mal, The Sisters?
No
53. Have you contributed to a fanzine?
That's lame
54. Have you edited a fanzine?
No
55. Have you sold a fanzine?
No

Section 6 - At the movies
56. Have you seen The Hunger?
No
57. Have you seen Return of the Living Dead?
No
58. Have you seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
YES!
59. Have you seen the Addams Family (TV Show)?
Yep
60. Do you think it's better than the Munsters?
yes

Section 7 - Hardercore than thou?
61. Do you own...A Tarot Deck?
Yes
62. ... Lots of weird silver jewelery?
I don't think it's weird
63. ... Mainly black clothes?
it's slimming
64. ... More boots than shoes?
boots are sexier
65. ... An original copy of Walk Away (with the flexi)?
no
66. ... An inflatable bannana?
....?
67. Have you ever been called a goth?
Yes. Stupids.
68. Did you deny it?
Hell yeah
69. Do you ever refer to other people as mini-goths or quantum-goths?
Oh yes. And mall goths.
70. Do you get upset when it rains, but still sing 'I love the rain?'
no and no
71. Have you been on alt.gothic since it started?
never heard of it
72. Have you actually read Shelley?
Frankenstein?
73. Do you have a fetish?
yes. I like anime tentacle sex.
74. Have you flirted with magick or alternative religions?
Sure
75. Do you object fundamentaly to this test even though you scored over 80 points on it?
I guess not


Section 8 - What's the difference between a Casual and a Redneck?
76. Do the people you meet on the streets often ask you if you're on your way to a funeral?

No. Someone asked me if I was on my way to the prom one time. And a bum asked me if I was in the movie they were shooting across the street from my house.

77. Do you encounter carloads of people who make sarcastic comments about the fact that Halloween is X months away?

Yes *sniffle*

78. Do your teachers, peers, etc., often recommend that you see a counselor?

They have.

79. Do you have a pet snake, spider, or a reasonable facsimile thereof?

No, but I have a black cat


80. Have you painted your bedroom black?

That's gay


81. Are your parents/friends afraid that you've committed suicide if you stay in your room for more than an hour at a time?

I'm not sure. I've never asked.

82. Do you habitually wear dark sunglasses, at all hours of the day?

Sunglasses make me look like a retard

83. Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name on the net? (i.e. made up)

I go by a japanese name, a name that makes fun of goths, and poesuicide.


84. Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name in real life? (i.e. made up)

Hello, I'm not 16.

85. Is there any difference between a Casual and a Redneck?

What the hell is a casual? Am I out of the gothic loop?


86. Have you ever been propositioned by a drunk Casual/Redneck?

Yes. What does that have to do with being goth?


87. Did you hospitalise them?

What?

88. Did you hospitalise them in a really messy way?

What the fuck is this thing talking about?


89. Have you ever gone up to a bunch of these people and said 'What the F**k do you think you're looking at?'

No, but I say it to little kids who stare at me in McDonald's ALL the time.


90. Do you have the scars to prove it?

I have scars. My older brother made me tear open my knees when I was little.

Section 9 - Brown Questions (Art & Literature)
91. Have you read any Poe?

YAY!

92. ................. Dante?

Not yet.

93. ................. Shelley?

Yes

94. Who was 'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know?'

uh...

95. Can you tell the difference between Norman and Gothic Churches?

No

96. Have you read any Lovecraft?

Yes

97. ................. Gothic Novels?

I suppose

98. ................. de Sade?

Yes

99. Do you like pre-rapheltie or romantic art?

Yes

100. Have you heard Verdi's Requiem?

Yep

Section 10 - Courtesy of the University of London Union Old Goth Barstaff soc.
101. Can you name all the bands on the Merciful Release label?

Fuck no

102. Do you know what the Birthday Party were called before they were calle The Birthday Party?

The boston tea party?

103. Who play 'House Music for Goths?'

Bjork?

104. Do you own a pair of crimpers?

No
105. Do you tie an obscene number of scarves to your waist?

The fuck?

106. Do you know what this signifies?

gypsies?

107. Have you ever been part of a pyramid?

like the scams?

108. Do you know the name of Eldritch's cat?

No

109. Does God drive a white Merc?

I dunno

110. Who's the fairest of them all?

Snow White?

Section 11 - Drugs

111. Do you or have you ever smoked?
112. ..............................Clove, Marlborough, or Death?

Yes

113. Have you ever had speed before breakfast?
114. ....................... instead of breakfast?

No O_o

115. Is caffine more important than sunlight?

I think so.