I bushed a bug off my arm and it was a baby centipede. I had to get my roommate to come and kill it while i did my freak-out dance. Grr I hate those things, and if theres a baby, the adults are close.

i would really like to do another set, i noticed my last one was a little more than two years ago. and now that they have the hopefully section i feel a little bit better about doing one again. because i have done at least five sets in the last two years but they never were approved. and i have some really good ideas that i think you people will like, i don't want to ruin or leak out anything so you just have to wait. i would have had one in by now, but i got drunk and punchy and woke up with a head wound and a big cut on my chin, along with cuts and bruises all over. but there pretty much healed now. so i'll let you guys know when the time comes.

i haven't been around in a long time, i know. shit has been crazy, in a bad way but it's getting better. i started working at one of the coolest bars down here, anna banana's, as a cocktail waitress and sometimes door person. which has been really fun. it's been getting me out alot more which is a very good thing because i'm tried of being a homebody, but , and this ones on the fence here, i've been drinking alot more, almost every night. but whatever it's good times. i've moved away from town, which is so sad because thats where all my people and places are, i'm not to far away thou. i'm still not done moving, there's crap everywhere. and i haven't been tattooing because all my guns and supplies were covered by piles and piles of shit. but i just got to them the other day, so i'm back in business. i still have to get another job or really start making some money on some side jobs, which i'm leaning towards the second idea. now i just got to do it. so to all those classic comic and record collectors i have a bunch of gold i'm sitting on. so once i post them, mostly likely on ebay, i'll put up a post on what i'm selling, i'll be doing them in a themed way and the name i'll be going through. so that's pretty much it, i've been really busy and just taking one day at a time, which is odd i'm a very planned person, but i think this readjusting of my life and things up in the air is working pretty good so far. theres craziness at all points of my life, and yeah sure it's taking it's toll on my me sometimes but i'm doing good no worries. and hopefully i get to do a set soon, i don't know when but hopefully soon, i want to make it good, no thrown together ones. ok i'm done need to start my day.

so hello everybody.....i wanted to say thank you to all the people that left comments on my last journal entry, it made me feel good when i read them that people cared. it was very kind of you all. but you don't have to worry about me, i'm ok. it was a little rocky and there has moments of sadness, but i'm doing fine. besides that i've been working a lot and thats draining. also i took a trip up to portland. that was great, i had a lot of fun. didn't do everything i wanted top do, but i'm going up there again before the year is out. and within next year when i get all my stuff together i'll be moving there. i can't wait thou, it was sad when i had to leave. but i'm home now and it's fucking hot, i think i can stand another year on this island without going crazy....well more so anyways. when i was up there i got to see my best friend from seattle, it was great even thou she only stayed for a day and we were both hang-over, we tryed to make the best of it. also i met up with apathy5, a great guy without him i would most likely have been bored. this trip was a little scary at first because i went solo and i didn't know anybody, so yeah he definitely helped me out a lot. and thats pretty much it, i'm tried, i'm taking a nap.

hey everybody.... i know i haven't been around for awhile. the past couple of months have been pretty hard for me. my last journal entry i know was weak, but it was the only thing i could think of during that fucked up time i could write about. i hate writing journals that are always sad and depressing, and i've been trying to be more up beat. but at that time everything was spinning out of control. so after this entry i'm keeping the drama and bullshit to myself. so to get to the point, let me just run through the last couple of months. first, as you all know my grandmother had brain and lung cancer. i took over the job of taking care of her, which wasn't that bad at the beginning. but very quickly that changed and she needed 24 hour care. which took a very heavy toll on me. if you haven't taken care of somebody like that before, there is no way you can understand what i mean. i came to my breaking point on a couple of different times, but there was no way i could have walked away from it, i was the only one she had. so i sucked it up and did what i had to do for her. towards the end the cancer made it so she couldn't speak, walk, eat, anything by herself. it was very hard to watch her body shut down on her, i spent many nigths awake trying to cope with it all. one good thing thou is that i was able to finally get her into hospice, which was very good for everybody, but she didn't spend long there. the week before she died everything seemed good still, i remember walking into the place and noticed she wasn't in bed but instead she was doing arts and craft with the other people and she smiled at me when she saw me, i spent a few hours with her that day. the next week she showed no emotion when i came in to her room, a day or two after i got a call from hospice saying that she was showing signs of passing. so i had my boyfriend pick me up and we went down there. it was very surreal, the moment i walked into the room and looked at her, a nurse came in and called the time of death. i spent the next hour breaking the news to the rest of my family. some were angry, others very quite, they were all pretty heart broken. but as for me, i was numb so i went to the bar and drank till i could sleep that night. which was no easy task, the whole night kept playing over in my head. that was a month and a half ago, in those weeks i had some family come down, which was hard to do because i mourn by myself, i didn't need them. sure maybe i was a comfront to them but i knew at least one, the one that thanked me to high heaven that i took care of her, was the one that called everybody else to tell them how bad of a job i was doing. i think out of everything that happened that was the worst. and i will shed no tears for them when they finally go. i guess the only good thing that happened from all of this is that my grandmother and i got pretty close(we weren't at all before), she didn't want anybody else at her side but me. and i know for a fact that i did a damn good job of taking care of her, i have no regrets what so ever. so yeah thats why i haven't posted anything new till now. i've been on the website a lot i just haven't been able to write this til now. besides that everything is pretty much back to normal, i've been working a lot and trying to tattoo in my off time. also i'm still trying to get off this damn island.

eeekkkkkk.....i got stung by a bee the other day, and it fucking hurt. i've never been stung before, so i was fearful that i would brake out in hives. but thankfully i didn't, but ouch it hurt. i just got out of my car an i was walking into
a store, and i had my keys in my left hand, i tossed them over to my right hand, the hand i work with, and i felt a painful stin on my palm. i look down and a bee is just sitting in my hand. i have no idea where the fuck it came from. but ouch, i haven't been able to draw and it sucks. and now it's really itchy, much more itchy then a tattoo. grrrrrr. i hate coming into contact with bugs.

ok well the day after i wrote that last journal entry everything flipped over onto it self. 1st, my grandmother's health isn't doing that good. she's been fighting lung cancer for awhile, which actually that seems to have cleared up but recently in the past months she started to develop brain cancer, and it's been growing at an alarming rate. so i had to quit my job to take care of her. which i dont have a promble with, it just would have been nice if somebody (father is off island for awhile, brother just moved to mainland) could help me with this, but that won't happen for a bit. it's just been leaving me drained with all the hospital visits and seeing her so weak all the time. which is not the woman i saw and have known through my life. she's always has been really strong and independent, she actually just quit her job of 36 years a few months ago. which i know was very hard for her, because growing up i never saw her miss even one day. all i hope is that if anything happens she can go in peace and not with doctors looking over her and tubes down her nose.
2nd, i quit my job at hart and huntington. shitty but theres more important things than that. plus i was questioning if it was the right path for me. but i don't know i guess time will till. i just felt kind of bad because i know they really wanted me to be there and i didn't want to quit so soon like i did and leave them high and dry. but it happened so theres nothing i can really do about that
3rd, (i think i wrote about this before)yes i have to move, which really really sucks because i like my place and i know with what i'm paying for it, i won't find another place this big for that cheap. but i have no choice there knocking this place down to build a gym for the private school right next to me. but i have till march 1 to move out so hopefully theres another gem out there for me. i hope.
4th, and with all the other stuff happening, my best friend from washington came down for a bit to visit. which has been very nice because she can always cheer me up and help me put my life into some kind of order.
well thats it for now, i'm tried of writing and i need to start my day now.

hello everybody....sorry i haven't wrote in awhile. i'm a really bad internet person, and it takes me forever to write anything...recently i've been very busy, i started my new job, which is ok. it's been pretty draining this first week but hopefully things will calm down for a bit.. besides that i've just been looking for a new place, taking care of my family and trying to remain sane through it all. i know i haven't wrote some of you back, and i'm sorry but i'll anwer some here. my trip to portland, well thats kind of on the back burner for now. with the new job i will not be able to take time off for awhile. so for now on i'll only bring that stuff up if i have the damn ticket in my hand... for the new set, i've been working on that. i did a couple of shoots already but i didn't send them in because looking at them afterwards i didn't think they would pass. but i am going to be doing another tomorrow. well i think thats it for now. take care.

so my power just came back from this morning earthquake plus black-out that shook me awake at seven this morning. as forceful as it was the only thing it did in my apartment was knock over a cup and turned a light that never turned on before. after a couple of aftershocks my boyfriend decided to call people to see if there was any information of a tide wave after, which we were pretty lucky there wasn't one. i've been in earthquakes before but not this strong and not on an island that has fragile foundation. i feel really bad for the big island, they got the most impact of the whole thing, hopefully not to many people got hurt. with only having a few radio stations reporting i still dont know the real damage of everything. but on oahu where i am it wasn't to bad in my area, a pain in the ass ,yes, but nothing real big that i noticed. the only thing that freaked me out was getting phone calls from family members in the main land that were worried and fearing the worst. i hope with this now happening hawaii will be more prepared for all of the elements that try to sink us.