PICS
I found out that my uncle committed suicide last night. I mostly feel terrible for my family - my 27 yr old cousin who found his body, my mom and the others who watched over the body until it had been removed and now have to handle the remainder of his affairs. I'm afraid to imagine what it must be like to happen upon something like that, and to have to sift through a loved ones things when they have just gone. He was 44, the youngest out of my mother's siblings, and he left behind a young daughter. I hope that they are doing okay and it's hard that I can't be there to make sure of it. Not that I could really do much but at least I could be a presence. Being alone at a time like this is possibly the worst thing, even I'm having trouble with it and I'm so far removed from it all.
Today was very surreal. I'd had plans to celebrate the day with Choplogik before I knew anything had happened. We were going to have high tea and then visit the Vancouver Art Gallery. I got the news this morning and was completely shocked. I had a good cry, managed to tell Chop what had happened, and decided that today should still be a day of celebration. I remember that the last time I saw my uncle, he expressed how wonderful he thought it was that I was living my dreams in Vancouver, so I thought the best thing to do would be to have the most amazing day in my uncle's name. So we went out and did all the things that we had planned and they were glorious, we even drew a new character and named it after him. After the VAG we ate sushi, walked along the ocean, then had dessert and listened to live music at our favorite Indian restaurant. It was the most magnificent day.
At the VAG there were a few exhibits that struck a chord, like a framed suicide note, a very disorienting mirrored maze about depression, and sculptures implying loss or absence. One that was especially poignant were mirrors with old photographs stuck in the edges. You'd see your reflection framed by photos of another person's life. It made me think about my mom having to go through my uncle's things and being reminded of his absence. On the phone this morning, she told me in a wavering voice how she couldn't believe she would never see her baby brother again. I've never witnessed her cry before.
Perhaps seeing that art has helped me to excise some of my grief, because right now I feel pretty good, but I won't say I'm out of the woods yet. Tomorrow will be a day spent in the studio and things can bubble up while I'm working. I was worried about working today because there's nowhere to hide from your mind when you are creating. Whatever thoughts are going on in there will circle around until you are mad. At the same time it could be an opportunity to really get out any emotion that might be pent up, I'll just have to see.
One thing I do know, seeing the world through particularly scrutinous eyes today, is that there is nothing I would change about the life I am living right now, there is no dream left unfulfilled, and no fear of things to come. I realize that pain will always find it's way to me but I can choose to mark painful events with negativity and worry of greater pain to come, or I can mark them as times of celebration, where special attention is paid to make them meaningful. Imagine the multitude of ways in which to express your gratitude, love, and respect for the people you love. These thoughts fill me with joy.
Today was very surreal. I'd had plans to celebrate the day with Choplogik before I knew anything had happened. We were going to have high tea and then visit the Vancouver Art Gallery. I got the news this morning and was completely shocked. I had a good cry, managed to tell Chop what had happened, and decided that today should still be a day of celebration. I remember that the last time I saw my uncle, he expressed how wonderful he thought it was that I was living my dreams in Vancouver, so I thought the best thing to do would be to have the most amazing day in my uncle's name. So we went out and did all the things that we had planned and they were glorious, we even drew a new character and named it after him. After the VAG we ate sushi, walked along the ocean, then had dessert and listened to live music at our favorite Indian restaurant. It was the most magnificent day.
At the VAG there were a few exhibits that struck a chord, like a framed suicide note, a very disorienting mirrored maze about depression, and sculptures implying loss or absence. One that was especially poignant were mirrors with old photographs stuck in the edges. You'd see your reflection framed by photos of another person's life. It made me think about my mom having to go through my uncle's things and being reminded of his absence. On the phone this morning, she told me in a wavering voice how she couldn't believe she would never see her baby brother again. I've never witnessed her cry before.
Perhaps seeing that art has helped me to excise some of my grief, because right now I feel pretty good, but I won't say I'm out of the woods yet. Tomorrow will be a day spent in the studio and things can bubble up while I'm working. I was worried about working today because there's nowhere to hide from your mind when you are creating. Whatever thoughts are going on in there will circle around until you are mad. At the same time it could be an opportunity to really get out any emotion that might be pent up, I'll just have to see.
One thing I do know, seeing the world through particularly scrutinous eyes today, is that there is nothing I would change about the life I am living right now, there is no dream left unfulfilled, and no fear of things to come. I realize that pain will always find it's way to me but I can choose to mark painful events with negativity and worry of greater pain to come, or I can mark them as times of celebration, where special attention is paid to make them meaningful. Imagine the multitude of ways in which to express your gratitude, love, and respect for the people you love. These thoughts fill me with joy.
I'm back from Hong Kong! Here's a quick recap:
I got bumped to first class on the flight there after giving up my seat to a family with babies! It was the most comfortable, memorable flight ever! I felt like a queen.
Upon arriving in HK, I had the wonderful sense that I was coming home. I've since decided that I want to spend more time there each year, because I have close family there and it can be such a beautiful place if you know where to look. I'm not into the shopping but the countryside is breathtaking and it's been inspiring my latest paintings. I went to a few galleries and saw some great art, and will be sending off a few emails to see if anyone might be interested in showing my work there. Fingers crossed!
I'm also going to put in a real effort to finally learn Cantonese, which I had been dreading my whole life until now. It would be nice to be able to have a conversation with my grandparents and such. I figure I'll start with a dictionary to get my vocabulary up and listen to/watch a lot of Cantonese movies.
If you've been following my blog long enough you'll know I'm interested in polyphasic sleeping, and since returning my jet lag has forced me to practice this. Sleeping at night has been sporadic for me and so I nap whenever I get tired during the day. I'm kinda happy about it because I feel like I get so much more out of my day than when I was sleeping 8-10 hrs/day. Now I sleep 5 hrs give or take (sometimes it's 12). I try to let my body decide when it needs sleep. Luckily I have a job that is completely flexible, aka self-employed artist.
I'm such a lucky girl. My eyes are opening even wider to the amazingness that is life and I can't even begin to express the amount of gratitude that is due to the people in my life. Thank you!
That's all for now!
I got bumped to first class on the flight there after giving up my seat to a family with babies! It was the most comfortable, memorable flight ever! I felt like a queen.
Upon arriving in HK, I had the wonderful sense that I was coming home. I've since decided that I want to spend more time there each year, because I have close family there and it can be such a beautiful place if you know where to look. I'm not into the shopping but the countryside is breathtaking and it's been inspiring my latest paintings. I went to a few galleries and saw some great art, and will be sending off a few emails to see if anyone might be interested in showing my work there. Fingers crossed!
I'm also going to put in a real effort to finally learn Cantonese, which I had been dreading my whole life until now. It would be nice to be able to have a conversation with my grandparents and such. I figure I'll start with a dictionary to get my vocabulary up and listen to/watch a lot of Cantonese movies.
If you've been following my blog long enough you'll know I'm interested in polyphasic sleeping, and since returning my jet lag has forced me to practice this. Sleeping at night has been sporadic for me and so I nap whenever I get tired during the day. I'm kinda happy about it because I feel like I get so much more out of my day than when I was sleeping 8-10 hrs/day. Now I sleep 5 hrs give or take (sometimes it's 12). I try to let my body decide when it needs sleep. Luckily I have a job that is completely flexible, aka self-employed artist.
I'm such a lucky girl. My eyes are opening even wider to the amazingness that is life and I can't even begin to express the amount of gratitude that is due to the people in my life. Thank you!
That's all for now!
Drawings, in progress, soon to have a splash of paint here and there, and even a few tattoos illustrated by Choplogik
I still want to thank everyone for the kind comments!
I found out a few weeks ago that this painting was accepted to be in the Dirty Show, in Detroit, in February! It would be the first time that I have submitted something to a show and been accepted. So excited!!!
Lovers. 14x11. Acrylic on wood. 2010.
I painted the piece specifically for the show but I think I'll be doing more full-body nudes in the future. I do LOVE women!
I found out a few weeks ago that this painting was accepted to be in the Dirty Show, in Detroit, in February! It would be the first time that I have submitted something to a show and been accepted. So excited!!!
Lovers. 14x11. Acrylic on wood. 2010.
I painted the piece specifically for the show but I think I'll be doing more full-body nudes in the future. I do LOVE women!
Awe thanks so much for all of the lovely comments! I'm blushing! 
I've had such a great time visiting family the last few weeks and now I can't wait to be back home where I can post pictures of my final painting of 2010 and my first piece of 2011, as well as give you guys an update on what's been happening these days. Stay tuned!
I've had such a great time visiting family the last few weeks and now I can't wait to be back home where I can post pictures of my final painting of 2010 and my first piece of 2011, as well as give you guys an update on what's been happening these days. Stay tuned!
Christmas has been wonderful, and not just because of the food! I've had the pleasure to meet some very interesting new women and their presence has brought me so many new insights.
I also had a 4.5 hr session done on my sleeve, which I totally wasn't expecting. I thought it was basically finished and that my artist would simply be doing a touchup here or there. He ended up going over the whole outline of all the flower petals, and adding some bolding, color and white highlights! I'm so much more happy with it now than before and I didn't even need to say anything about the things that I was hoping to fix! So now I've learned that it's always a good idea to go back to your artist and let them look at their work because if they are good they will see things that need to be added to make it the best tattoo possible.
Hitting Member Review next week after the new year!
I also had a 4.5 hr session done on my sleeve, which I totally wasn't expecting. I thought it was basically finished and that my artist would simply be doing a touchup here or there. He ended up going over the whole outline of all the flower petals, and adding some bolding, color and white highlights! I'm so much more happy with it now than before and I didn't even need to say anything about the things that I was hoping to fix! So now I've learned that it's always a good idea to go back to your artist and let them look at their work because if they are good they will see things that need to be added to make it the best tattoo possible.
Hitting Member Review next week after the new year!
New set has been queued to hit Member Review soon!
Cherry photographed it and I am so in awe of her skill!
In other news, I moved to a new home and have been without internet for over a week. It was wonderful and I got so much work done. I also love my new place, though it lacks much-needed furniture. My favorite thing has been seeing birds and animals rooting around in the backyard, which is something I haven't experienced for years having lived in apartments. Now I just have to catch up with all that I've missed online.
Cherry photographed it and I am so in awe of her skill!
In other news, I moved to a new home and have been without internet for over a week. It was wonderful and I got so much work done. I also love my new place, though it lacks much-needed furniture. My favorite thing has been seeing birds and animals rooting around in the backyard, which is something I haven't experienced for years having lived in apartments. Now I just have to catch up with all that I've missed online.
Satya's Dress. Acrylic on wood. 20x16. $800.
This is the most complicated painting I've ever done. I never thought I would have the patience to paint all those folds of fabric but something's changed in my perception of painting. It's no longer a like or dislike of the subject that I'm painting that makes it interesting. It's become about the color, shadows, highlights, shapes and getting them to look 'right' (not necessarily 'real') that is what engages me. I'm not about to start painting wolves, full moons, and snowy mountains or anything, but I feel like my vocabulary has expanded a great deal. Now my challenge is to keep painting to this level of finish.
As this is the season of gift giving, I have updated the prints that I have for sale. Check them out HERE. If you order in the next few weeks they will arrive in time for Christmas!
