I look forward to the peaceful dead of night when I become a zombie who has neither emotion nor thought. I just work, create, paint, draw, eat. Too tired to worry or regret, I just putter away at my paintings and they magically unfold before my eyes. Around 6 am this morning, with the sun rising and the first few sips of hot chocolate in my mouth, I suddenly had an epiphany on this piece:


Babelfish. 14"x11". Acrylic and graphite on Arches paper.

I was looking at it and suddenly knew that there needed to be a fish on her cheek, as if her blush was becoming a flower becoming a fish. I couldn't even stop myself from grabbing it and working on it right then. It was just as Elizabeth Gilbert describes when one is struck with a tidal wave of epiphany. I don't even know how much time passed before it was finished, but when I looked up from the painting, all I could see were the invisible details that needed to be added to the other paintings around me. It's like I needed to post sticky notes everywhere to remember all the things that needed to be done.

Once that burst of inspiration subsided I was exhausted. It's hard to remain in that state, finishing more than one painting a day. At this point I don't have a choice, though, so I've been slowly working on the rest of my pieces. Managing to keep my anxiety at bay has been interesting. I feel like a completely different person when I start to worry and stress, it's paralyzing. Then all of a sudden that person leaves the room, I regain my composure and keep working. At least now my worry is not whether the work is good enough, it's simply about getting as much done as possible.

If you are interested in prints of my work...