Hello Gorgeous SG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling INCREDIBLE TODAY! Ok ok... i will admit... i gave into the pills again, they have my blood pumping and have me all hyped up! I have this amazing adrenalin rush going on right now that it feels great!

However, i just remembered why i got off of them in the first place, it brings up my blood pressure and my family has a history of hypertension, so when it hits me i feel all wierd and lightheaded and short of breath etc. When i am not on the pills i get depressed. Which is a normal side effect though. It brings me so low. Poeple begin to have psychological side effects the worst is suffering from paranoia or... damn i forgot the term... and i was a psychology major LOL.... well, you begin to see and hear things, schizophrenia! there we go, and OCD. But i haven't gone through that so i'm good.

The part i hate the most about these pills are that when i'm not on them i get immensly depressed. You guys have read my blogs. I hit rock bottom. Not good for me or those arounds me. It also keeps me from getting a good work out because my blood is already pumping so fast and my blood pressure is so high that my work outs have to be short and sweet. But not enough. AND... it causes insomnia so i'm always waking up at 4:00 am and ready to go jogging. Not cool either.

But i had to give it. I just had to. I'm almost done though. I hope this does not become an addiction... that's if it hasn't already become one.

What i love about them is that i feel energized. I'm soooo ready for the day. I eat less which helps my anxiety cuz all i eat is candy anyway and helps me focus on the healthy foods like actual meals and not chocolate as a meal.

It motivates me to work out regardless of my schedule. Usually i'm so exhausted at the end of the day and just want to sleep.

I'm quick and allert.

I can get agressive though. Also not good. Can make me moody or cranky... but with the adrenalin rush i'm in cloud 9 .

THe REALLY bad part of these pills are that they are similar to Amphetamine. VERY similar if not the same but in a medical form.

I was supposed to have finished the dosage and made it my last but i forgot how bad i began to feel with them so i stopped half way and i stopped immediately which i shouldn't have done. I should have slowly removed myself from them to avoid any sort of psychological effects such as depression, suicidal thoughts or tendancies, etc. Which i did experience.

I'm just going to take advatage of this and do everything i have to do while i still have the energy because i'm stuck in a situation in which time is ticking and i NEED to do something about my financial situation.

My bro is also worring me. He has been missing football practice because he claims he's not feeling well which in a way i believe because we have been ill for a while. But i feel like it may be something else. I feel like something else is bothering him but he won't open up.

I try to talk to him and try to get him to trust me but it doesn't work. Any advice?

I took him to Knotts with us and offered to buy him anything he wanted but i guess he didn't want to. I always take him wherever i go so he can feel wanted. But he always refuses and wants to stay home and play video games, watch TV or be on the computer all day.

I feel like he feels lonely but i don't know what else to do. He is isolating himself from the family and even freinds.



My parents are doing great right now. They miss us so much as we do with them. My dad seems better as well.

My sis really needs a job but we can't seem to find her a permanent job especially something that would offer full time.

I need to get on this and i need to get on it now because life moves on. I can't sit and watch from the side while everyone around me is being affected.

I hope to come up with solutions soon.

Thanx for listening guys! and thanx for all your advice!

Ciao!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

xoxoxo!!!!!

Peaches

Hello SG!

Well Friday was pretty awesome! We went to Knotts and had a blast. My camera didn't arrive so i couldn't take any pix . We were tired. There were so many people and such long lines! The only thing that i regret not doing is getting on the rides. The only ride we got on was Big Foot Rapids and we got soaked! We were shivering all night! So i rushed to the girls restroom and used the hand dryer to dry my clothes lol. Hey! it worked!

So for the first time i ate at Johnny Rockets and we got to see the employees perform THRILLER!!! lol that was awesome!

Saturday came and i woke up sick. My bro woke up at 3:00 am and threw up. Then i woke up at 10 and threw up! We had the stomach flu. My neices had it and we had them over on Friday before we left and i guess we got it from them. It sucked! I wanted to do so much but i couldn't. I was stuck in bed .

Sunday came and i had to tat people up but i had to cancel. I still wasn't feeling good until later that night. But i was able to clean my house which was really getting on my nerves!

Pookey signed up for Cable so now we are having a blast watching stuff we dnt get to see everyday . I'm not a TV person....but when it comes to interesting stuff like LA ink and the discovery channel then i think its worth my time.

I still have not been able to pay off my phone bill. Right now i'm at $705 and i recieved a notice that it is past due and i need to make a payment so it does not suspend. UUUGhhhhh! What am i going to do?!!

Things are really getting tough. I can't wait till the good part comes along

I'm excited about Halloween cuz i can wait to take all 6 kids trick or treating again! Soooo... dnt know where we will go this year.

This is the only thing i feel is going to turn out well this month.

So i'm not sure what was bothering my Dad but he seems better now. I think it was the fact that we talk more to my mom but that's because she calls us and doesn't want to stop talking lol.

He was also sick. So he felt like shit. His sister passed away two days ago and he was pretty close to her too. I'm not sure how that happend but he was bummed out.

He seems better today.

I got my car back so it feels great!

Going to knott's scary farm this friday so if any of you will be going, i'll c u there!

REALLY excited about the holidays, i REAAALLLY can't wait!

So how is everyone doing on this lovely day?

I'm noticing some ppl that i haven't seen in a while, how have you guys been? lol

Ciao!

xoxo

TGIF!!!!!!!! I'm so happy its Friday. Seriously... This is the day i look foward to all week.

Long week if i must add.

Today i went to go see how my car was doing, its almost done, just needs the paint job.

I also have to go to the bank and cash the check. I forgot to drop off my lil bro's football equipment so now i have to leave early so i can drop it off in order for him to attend practice.

I'm so frustrated because with this busy schedule, i have no time to work out. I'm starting to feel slow and lazy. NOT COOOL!!!!

I need to go back and check out some homes i saw to see if we can afford them.

I also seem to be the only one REALLY looking foward to the holidays. Just yesturday i went shopping for Halloween decorations for the office.

My desk is a mess but i need a break! It's so damn busy that i don't get a lunch or a break :/

I sooooo wanna go home.

I was also noticing lately that my Dad seems irritated. Like everytime we talk through Skype we leaves me talking to my mom and he leaves upset.

I really don't like the way he's acting. For one, we only see each other through a screen and he acts like i'm always annoing them. Two, he sometimes makes real sarcastic comments and i can tell my mom feels bad but what can i do?

I'm at that point in which i'm too busy with my life and daily routine that i'm not paying attention to the people around me and their feelings. I mean, i've been there before and i hoped someone would notice and snap me out of it but instead i snapped myself out of it.

Sure my bro has freinds and all but it's not the same. I bet he wishes he had more closure with his family. I don't want to come off like we just see him as another person living in the house.

My damn schedule is drivng me nuuuttsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of all, i need sleep!!!! I'm falling asleep at work, i feel cranky, i'm always tired... ugh!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't do everything and feel this way. I feel like the energy is sucked out of me.

The time i would spend working out i am spending on cooking so now i don't have time to work out. I hate it!!! I set goals for myself and they can't work out.

Then i feel like i have to baby everyone around, like i have to be on their case to make sure everyone is doing their part.

Usually when i feel this way i go on shopping sprees, but this time i can't because i have bills to pay, meds to buy and waaaay too many things to do.

I'm sooo stressed!

Everything has just been one problem after another.

I don't want to complain but i need to get these things off my chest.

So for the good news? My dad got a full time job as a doctor at a pharmacy. This is great because he doesn't have to work as a security guard anymore.

Also, my car is almost done. I can't wait to get it back.

And Halloween! Yay! don't know what i will be this year but i hope to make it fun. I also want to go to Knott's scary farm. Can't wait for that!

Thanksgiving, already planning the dinner. I was just hoping to save up for a nice dining table but i guess that won't happen this year.

UGHHH!!! I'm just soo irrititated!!!!!!!!!!!

... I just want to go home.

Sooo tired. Up last night talking to Julian about our issue. Don't know where it's going to go but i hope it's where we want to be.

About your comments, nikonphoto80 and Giggles you guys should try throwing a party with a friend. If you guys have your own place you can even make it big! Have freinds invite friends and you can have girls in for free with costume and charge idk like maybe $5 per person. You make new friends that way, make money, AND have a bad ass party! I don't HIGHLY recommend it though because sometimes it can get out of hand. But i DO recommend asking a couple BIG tall and intimidating friends to be the bouncers and give them a certain percentage of the money you made for the night.

Sigh- I'm exhausted I'm so tired. I need some sleep.

Today I might be able to leave work early but if i do i have to go to the bank and make a payment for my credit cards and pay a portion of my phone bill. After i'm done with the erands, i will see if i have a chance to catch a nap and then head off to my brother's Back To School Night. Since he's in band, i want to see him perform.

Yesturday after work i went home changed, did some erands and headed off to my bro's football practice for support. It began to get cold so i went to the car and took a 30 min nap. That nap felt sooooo goood! I'm behind on my sleep and need to catch up.

So things seem to be steady right now. A couple bumps here and there but nothing severe.

Hope you guys have a wonderful day

XOXOXO!!!!!

Whoa, so to recap on my weekend....

Friday was a busy busy day at work. I'm behind and need to catch up. Luckily we are getting more and more patients every week. If this keeps up, I will get my raise as promised!

I was supposed to have left work early in order to work on my cousin's hair to see how it will turn out. Due to my busy day at work i ended leaving at 8 something pm. So i went home and got ready for Julian's brother's bday bash.

The backyard was full of people we didn't even know! They had girls in for free all night and $5 per guy per entrance, so if they left, it was an additional $5 to get back in. They made $300 in admission and $400 in drinks!

We went outside and we couldn't even walk! People were tumbling over and selling Noz and his parents were so scared! I was like "oh no... this has to stop" i mean its ok to throw a party but if you are using your parents' house at least have a little respect, WTF is going on with the NOZ?!

So the Mom went to the backyard and told the DJ to turn off the music. Music was off and lights went on but no one was leaving. Before you know it, we went outside and there were cops EVERYWHERE! They surrounded the house and told everyone to leave. There were at least a good 10 cop cars around the house and they told us if no one left, they will send a helicopter and will bill the parents $6,500 for it.

AND if there was any trash around the neighborhood they will get a fine. So 3 cops entered the house and told everyone to leave.

Not until everyone was gone was when the cops left. I couldn't believe how out of hand it was getting.

So finally some girl showed up that i don't like and i decided to go home to avoid any problems.

Saturday came and i woke up at 9. Put anything on and headed down to my cousin's house. Picked her up and took my sister to pick up her dress and went to the store and bough some things that were needed for the party.

I also bought the baby his medicine because he ran out. The insurance denied our claim for a refill because they said that the FDA does not approve of Long Term Antibiotic Treatment for Lyme. What a bunch of BUll!

So for now on i have to buy his meds for 6 months. It was $60 for a container no bigger than 2 inches tall. But he needed it so i had to get it for him.

Then rushed home and began to fix my cousin's hair and makeup.

Took her home, went back home, cleaned my house and got ready.

I showed up at the party around 8pm. Julian wanted to go with his brother's to watch the game so he was anxious to go. His parents were at the party so when they left he left.

I was upset. His behavior reflected that he didn't want to be there. I had just begun to eat when he left and left me there by myself. Although i was amungst family it still hurt me that he prefered to go watch a game than to keep me company or stay with me as my "Date". I was furious i went to my car and began to cry.

I stayed there until i calmed down and reminded myself that i need to stay at my best behavior because it was my cousin's birthday and i am here for her and nothing else. So i went back and all my cousins where dancing and i wasn't in the mood. So i decided to leave.

I told everyone i had a migrane and needed to go home and i said my good byes and left.

Before he left he asked me to pick him up at his brother's house and i said i would just so he can leave. I rather have him be somewhere else than have him be in a bad mood all night long.

So as soon as i went home, i locked the door to my room and feel asleep.

I asumed that his brother gave him a ride home because i turned off my phone and wasn't able to get through. So i was soo tired that i didn't hear him knock. Even if i did i wouldn't open the door.

So he ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room. The next morning the alarm went off and i got up to turn it off and i heard him knock. So i open the door and let him in so he could get ready for work and i went to sleep.

It was Sunday and i began to clean my house and got ready and a girl came for a touch up. I finished her tat and it looks good. So my sister called asking if she can use the pool.

To make a long story short a lot of people ended up comming, my nephew Angel almost drowned, we don't know how it happend. He had a floaty and was sitting next to my sister. Poor thing was so scared. I know how he felt because i almost drowned when i was in HS and i had to swim in the deep pool and almost drowned. By the time i got out i couldn't hold it and began to cry.

So i comforted the poor guy and asked my sister to go home because that was enough for one day.

They went home and my cousin came with me to get her tattoo.
It says "Love" in Edwardian.

So my other cousin wanted to get something by freehanding it.

I did something using greywash, that way if he ever wants to cover it up he still can.

Here I am now Let's hope this is will be a good week.

Today i dropped off my car at the shop. The guy said he will try to increase the amount needed for the repair so i don't have to pay the deductable but in case the insurance company refuses, he will take whatever they give him and waive the deductable. Really nice guy

So hopefully my car is ready within a week or two so i can get that out of the way.

Sigh- I truly deeply need another vacation, hopefully LONGER vacation LOL.

I'm kind of bummed cuz i wanted to throw a Halloween party this year. I have always wanted to throw one and i thought this year would be it but i need to catch up with dept so i highly doubt i'll be able to.

Oh well...

Well ladies and gents, today is another and BETTER day.

I have thought a lot about the phone bill and have come up with ways to solve the issue. OT and tattoos. It will take a while but i will get it done.

This morning they suspended my account so i couldnt make or recieve phone calls so i made a $100 payment. which is great.

Finally the bank resolved my issue with my suspended account as well so now i can stop using my credit cards and use my bank account.

Now i have to make payments everytime i get money comming in. Not to mention get over my BofA credit card which is the worst right now.

No matter what, i know i need to buy the baby's shots and hopefully, i will be able to do that next week.

Hopefully by Thursday or Friday i will also be able to take my car to get fixed from the collision and hopefully they are able to help me in order to keep me from paying $500 of the deductable.

This Saturday is also my cousin's quinceanera and they asked me to decorate. That will also be a busy day for me becuase I will have to wake up early Saturday morning to go to her house and decorate, and do her hair and makeup as well as her mom's hair and makeup. Then rush to the park to watch my brother's football game and rush back home and get ready and head off to the party.

Friday after work i have to rush home, touch up a tattoo i didn't get to finish and head off to my brother in law's birthday bash.

I'm in a much better and positive mood. I'm starting to feel like my old self. Things are starting to make sense, i'm starting to not care so much about situations that don't really matter.

I seriously think it was the pills that i was taking. I read that one of the side effects would be mood changes and other psychological effects but i thought i would have control over that, ... guess not.

I'm also really excited for the holidays. Although i won't be able to buy anyone presents for Xmas but i'm looking foward into hosting the dinners at our place again.

I love it when the family gets together for the holidays. I just wish my Dad were there too. Maybe this year i could go to Mexico for Xmas and spend xmas and maybe new years with him too?

I really want all these situations sorted out. And instead of sitting around and crying about it i'm going to get up, find opportunities and DO something about it.

As cheesy as it sounds, Gwen Stephani's song "what are you waiting for" has motivated me. It's as though i'm telling myself, "what the hell are you doing?! The world is spinning and you are missing it! Get up and do something?!" and that's just what i need. The weeks are going by so fast as though they were hours. One week feels like one day. Kinda sux because time is flying by, time is precious and i need to take advantage of everything because before you know it, it will all be gone.

The kids grow up so fast, I'm getting older by the minute, I don't enjoy my parents as much. I need to keep succeeding to give more. I want to be more involved with my community as well. I really want to do a fundraiser or join a walk for a good cause. I just usually end up finding out DURING the event and not ahead of time.

But with my schedule how will i get that in?

Hopefully i will be able to have some free time and shoot another set for you guys. You guys deserve it for being such AWESOME peeps!

HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Yup,... just when things begin to look up, something drags me back down.

I got my brother a prepaid phone yesturday because he earned it and because he needed it. Well, he accidentally locked the damn thing and there is no way to unlock it unless we order a new SIM card.

So i called customer service and come to find out that my current phone bill is $800.00! i was like WTF?!

Turns out, i signed up for an international plan just in case we are out of the country and need to recieve or make emergency calls.

My mom has been calling the entire world since she has been gone! The charges were $3.25 per minute!

I even told her to turn off her phone if she doesn't need it because she will still be billed if people leave her a message.

I guess she didn't hear me the first time so i had to emphasize it the second time and confirm the third.

IDK how the fuck i'm going to pay that off!

I'm beyond pissed! I have not had anyone to tattoo until just today people have been hitting me up but i doubt they will go through with it. That was the only source of extra income that i had going on and it is dead!

I cannot believe this! One problem after another! This madness does not end!

I was hoping to have at least one of my sets bought by now because that would have helped HUGE! I'm falling behind on bills, rent went up, i have to get my car fixed from that stupid collision, i have to send my parents money, not to mention i have to buy the baby's shots which are $360! and now this?!

UGH!!!!!!

What an awesome weekend! yesss, about time!

Friday was eh- came faster than i expected but it turned out well.

Saturday we all woke up early, and by early i mean 8:00am LOL. Since Pookey got a 3 day weekend because he worked Memorial day, we decided to do something fun! So we all got ready and headed for the beach.

It was Pookey, my brother, his freind, my niece and I. We drove to Long Beach and made sandwiches and enjoyed the sun. We sat nearby all the boats just because there weren't any waves there and the kids could have fun.

Although i wore sunblock, i still got burnt. I look like a lobster! LOL

I then sat next to my neice Cathy and we made the coolest sand castle! All the little kids around us were stealing our idea :/ but ours was the BEST!!!

I regret not getting in the water but then again i couldn't i had just pierced my belly button that earlier that morning, somewhat of a spontaneous moment but given the fact that i'm a piercer, i tend to peirce myself whenever i'm bored so its really nothing new lol.

So we then left, dropped off my bro's freind and went home, took a shower, rushed to Macy's for the One Day sale, got Pookey's mom a bday present and bought myself a dress. There was a rack with a 60% off sign on it and as i walked by i see a cute little black dress, i get it and look at it, and go "hmm"... Look at the price tag, it said from $60 to $30, so i scan to double check and it scanned for $10!

I rushed to the fitting room, squeezed into it and decided to buy it! I had a $10 off ur purchase coupon credit because i guess when you shop with the Macy's card they give you points and you get discounts or something.

So technically i got the dress for free!

So we headed home and got ready to go party.

We then dropped off my niece and bro at my sister's house and we found out she wasn't home. Her ex-boyfriend was looking after her kids. yea idk y, but he looked miserable, i dnt blame the guy. So we find out that she was at her modeling agency shooting pix for a magazine or something. So i said i would come back and find out later.

We went to our friend's bday bash. We enter and there was waaaay too much light. Right away Pookey spots an ex-friend of ours. We wanted to leave immediately but didn't. She was the two faced type. She didn't even bother to say hi and we knew that the moment we approach her she would get all stupid and say "OMG! i didn't even know you guys were here!" so we decided to keep our distance.

More people began to show up and we just didn't feel the party so we left. We were going to head off to a kickback and decided to go to my house for a sweater. Then decided to head back to my sister's and see if she was home.

It turned out that her ex was drunk, took her phone away and didn't let her back in her own home. So i had to go and put him on check

My aunt came out and asked me to get him to go home. I offered him a ride home and he refused. A little later his cousins showed up and asked him for gas money in order to take him home. Since he didn't want me to take him home and his cousins didn't want to take him home because he didn't have the money i decided to give his cousin $5 to shut up, quit bitching, and help his cousin by taking him home.

Well, they refused to take the money and accepted to take him home. They weren't moving. So i said," i'm not leaving until i see you guys take him home, so i can stand here all night until he goes home. " and the other cousin said, "Let's bounce" and they took off.

I felt bad for the guy cuz he's a good kid. He's just a bit immature at times but that's normal at his age. He's what? 19? i think? and my sis is 23 with 6 kids. Although he acted like the biological father and helped out my sis in every way he could, he also needed to find a job and help out financially if he was going to stay around and live with them. So my sis had to kick him to the curve, if she could barely afford her kids how is she going to afford another person?

My aunt couldn't stop talking about how pretty i looked even though i was trying to make a point about the situation, but eh- that's how my family is, they are sometimes afraid to to have a serious conversation maybe because they are afraid to get outsmarted by someone younger. Idk.

So i asked my sis to not ask him to come over anymore or to even ask him for favors because that would be like giving him hope. She agreed.

FINALLY! I was able to go party! again....

We headed to the kickback in LA and it was pretty gay. So Pookey and i went to pick up my bro and went home.

We slept in the living room and idk why lol. It was soooo comfortable, we fell asleep on the floor and REALLY slept in. We woke up around 11 something almost 12! and i remembered that someone set an appmt for a tattoo so we all started to clean the house.

The place was spotless! But the guy flaked out, .... Good, i didn't feel like tatting anyone that day. So we decided to go to the outdoor shopping center in Long Beach. I asked pookey if his bro's wanted to go and we picked them up. We even got the chance to drop off his mom's bday gift.

They have a Taco Bell across the street and i decided to get a Fruitista Freeze, so i drove thru the drive thru and i didn't see it on the Menu so i asked the guy if they had it and he said "no" so i thanked him and back up.

There was this little island away from the drive way. While i backed up, i thought i was all the way out and to my surprise i drove over it! Those jerks wouldn't shut up about it.

Then they wanted to drop something off at thier house and we ended up staying a bit because they wanted to eat sea food. I was pissed at the comments they told me i seriously wanted to cry.

I sat on the couch drinking water (which i rarely drink unless something is wrong) and my eyes teared up because i was pissed.

So we ended up going and walked around, everything was closing early so there wasn't much we could do. So we entered a store kinda like Ana's linens and looked around, there was a sign saying "now accepting applications" i knew his bro needed a job so i told him to get one and he refused, so i assumed he was just shy so i asked one for him and gave it to him to fill out. He was such a jerk and said he wouldn't and the application was just going to sit there. I felt stupid so i got the app and took it back to the desk.

Instead of being polite about it he was a total fucking jerk. That also got to me. So i began to look around.

Then Pookey said we should go because they were about to close so we left. We walked by Barne's and Noble, and i noticed they didn't close until 11pm so i decided to go in. I walked in and started to look around and Pookey goes, "Hun, they wanted to leave already" so i said, "fine, lets go".

What a bunch of babies, seriously, they were worse than kids, so i wasnt in the mood of hearing them complain on the way back so i asked Pookey to drive. When we dropped them off at home they didn't thank us or anything and just got off the car.

Now i know why Pookey doesn't invite them anywhere, and i learned my lesson, I won't either.

I just like to be around people and i think the more the merrier but i guess some people dnt think the same.

So i pick up my bro from his freind's house and we go to Applebee's. The waitress was so nice. But it was because it was her first day. Good for her

Then we went to my sister's house talked to my parents through skype with the whole family and went home.

Pookey and i didn't go to sleep till midnight. I mean, it felt just the way it did when it was our first time. We made out and it lead to other things. Usually, we are so comfortable we just go straight to the sex but this time was special and fun .

Woke up this morning in a great mood and feeling refreshed al though a bit tired but i'm feeling great.

The house is clean, everyone is happy, things are under control, just need to catch up to my bills :/ other than that, it's a wonderful day don't you agree?



XOXOXOXO LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! Thanx for all your support!

Thank you nikonphoto80 for the beautiful quotes you provided me with. They are all so true, and many people don't view their lives as so.

So to recap on my day yesturday... ugh... I'm getting a headache already just thinking about it.

Well, I've had a migrane now for 3 days straight. This has been the longest since i was 8. Nothing was able to releive the pain, and i took numerous amounts of meds.

So i had to show up to work anyway and had a splitting headache. Luckily i spent my time cleaning the office and very little phone calls and stuff.

I get home and hope to take a nap to help me with my headache but i realized that i needed to cook for the guys. So i go online to look for any international recipes i can try since the day before we had Indian Spiced Shrimp, I thought we could try French.

Then my mom and Dad logged on Skype and i was talking to them for hours. Then they had to step out and asked me to wait for them for about 15 minutes. I then realized that baby Angel ran out of medicine and i had to rush to Walmart to pick up the new dosage.

I was going to rush to my sister's house to pick her up but i said fuck it! I need to go now! It was 8 something and i hoped the pharmacy was still open. I walk by the drop off window and it was closed and i was pissed. I then walk to the pick up window and it was semi-closed so i approach the window and explain the situation. I didn't think they would have it ready since i didn't call it in but i hoped they could just get it from the shelf.

Luckily the Rx WAS ready! So they just handed it to me and i was ready to go and they locked the window. If i would have been a minute late, i would have probably missed them and he would have missed his meds.

Then i rush to my sister's and hoped to give her shit for not picking up the med and she wasn't home. Her boyfreind wasnt even there looking after the kids either, they had my little brother looking after 6 kids!

I was mad. No one knew where she was at and the guy just took off.

The room was a mess and the kids were starving. So i helped them clean the room and rushed to Taco Bell to buy them something. I was so pissed i almost got in a car accident!

Finally the kids ate and my sister showed up and we sorted what we could.

I went home frustrated at the situation and how i couldn't stay home and relax.

I woke up the night before at 6:00 am with an enormous headache, i took some pills and slept in the closet. I couldn't stand any light, scents or sounds. It was horrible.

Today i woke up in a better mood. Life is just knocking me down over and over, i just need to relax and get my mind together and jump right back in.

Sigh- I'm REALLY looking forward to the weekend!