yes its been a while.... let me recap all this madness!

my sis showed up at my house at 2am on a saturday. She had no money so i had to pay $120 to the taxi driver. Later we found out that the baby daddy had her locked up for 7 days with no food or water. She was very weak and dehydrated but she managed to escape.

her place was no longer safe for her or the kids so she moved in with me.

i was taking 18 units but had to drop 10 because of unemployment.

my bf is moving out and im back to square one. i've been broke for a year and have been getting nothing but stress.

all i do is study! study! study!

i'm just glad my mom is here helping us and im passing my classes. still graduating in may!

i hope to have some cash by january so i can fix my laptop and fill u guys in with more gossip! in the meantime, miss and love u all! o! and have a fun, safe and happy halloween!

ciao!

XOXO!!!

a total disaster!

i have been stressing too much these past 2 weeks.

i got an "a" in my math so yay for that.

on the night b4 the last lecture day of math, my sister had some religious lady take all 6 kids to church. My sis takes off 4 a whole day and the kids were left home alone ages 8-3. a neighbor calls me becuz the 8 yr old was scared. i was pissed and called the cops. she turned off her phone so i knew she was up to no good. i had to take all kids to my place and missed class. the day before she crashed into a fence with all kids! she has to go to court 4 driving without a license, uninsured and no car seats for the kids.

i kept them all week. then she went to the hospital for 2 days for dehydration. she got out in a better mood but still expectd i help her with her kids. she keeps telling me how shes stressed and wants to be alone but yet she leaves and gets mad when i ask her who or where she is.

i am takng 18 units this semester and she doesn't know how hard it is. she calls me non-stop while im in class leaving me messages to pick up kids! when i tell her wat time i get out she gets mad and wants me to leave sooner.

last night she left again. my bf is tired of dealing with this drama so i told her she needed to stay with all her kids and how im starting to have problems in my relationship because of her. she tells me, "so wat? your sister doesnt come first?" hung up and turned off her phone.

i refused to miss school again just because she decides to be irresponsible. it broke my heart to leave the kids but i had no other choice. besides my sis left my aunt babysitting but my aunt thot for just a couple hours and not all night and day.

im so stressed and tired. i feel like i've been beaten up with a bat. this all happened so sudden just wen i was starting to do things right. it feels like a nightmare and i can't wake up.

THank u everyone for the bday wishes! my bday was ok. Not as bad as i thot it would be.


this is a at i worked on last night. i like it

everything is going well in school. half way done with the semester and surprisingly i have an "A" in my math class. i didn't do so well in my last exam but we will see if i at least got a "B".

i already have my classes for next semester but i may have to change them to expedite the process to my P.A. and I decided to transfer to USC instead. Hopefully it all goes well.

The house thing is still up in the air. I feel like nothing will happen until next year.

hope everyone is doing well! ciao!

Wow! where do i start?

My trip was amazing! i didn't want to come back but i did.








these are just some of the many pix i took of Guadalajara Mexico.

When i came back my plants looked awesome! My sister also gave me a dog!
Meet cherry!








she's about 11 weeks now. 2 weeks ago she got really sick but shes better now. she has helped me cope with my miscarriage and problems that occur on a daily basis. I love her so much!

i also started school. I'm taking math 20... i really hate math but i made a promise to do my best. I started with a "D" and now i moved my way up to an "A"! yay!

i'm also struggling with financial aid but i hope it works out.

A lot of my time has gone to helping my sister babysit or with rides and most of my time goes by really fast leaving me too exhausted to take care of my own needs.

We're still house shopping and i got to the point in which i don't care what we get i just want it over with already!

My birthday is coming up too and i'm not very excited about it because for 1- it lands on a tues, 2-i go to school, and 3- it will feel like any other day. Its gonna suck i just know it.

i love this weather and i wish i had the time as well as someone to go with.

i hope that today is a better day!

so sorry i've been away for so long but things have been hectic!

my knees got better so i'm running again with better running shoes! so far no complaints. i also joined a kick boxing class! its brutal but i love it! i bought a strawberry plant and the strawberries are growing! gven the fact tat the ones i was growing kept dying i got frustrated and just bought the plant.


i also didn't know that the flowers turned into strawberries! its amazing!
so right now i'm growing strawberries, anaheim chiles, tomatoes and cilantro. lets see how that goes.

i have been dealing with issues with the unemployment and insurance. i have been attending too many birthday parties, baby showers, and graduations.

i'm 2 weeks away from my trip to mexico and that adds more stress because we hav to shop for airport security approved toiletries and stuff. UGH!

anyway i made it up to you guys and girls by taking some nice butt shots and sharing them with U!

ENJOY! XOXOXO!!!

Dear SG,

Just getting out of the flu. I've been in bed all week and i'm just sick of it!

I finished reading a good book. It took me 3 days and that was the most ive ever read in such little time. But it was a good book.

I've been working out all over again but just recently i needed to stay off the treadmill because i fucked up my knees again. I don't know what i did wrong. I can't run anymore because as soon as i start running my knees feel like theyr going to pop. It almost feels as though i have arthriitis or something and it slows my cardio big time! I'm barely recovering. I can't even go down the stairs .

Friday Pookey, his bro, some friends and i went hiking from the Griffith Observatory to the Hollywood sign. It was fun. We lost the trail and ended up in bushes and cliffs and we're like, "WTF?! How did we get here?!" but we eventually found the trail and continued. Going uphill was okay. I wanted to run uphill but as soon as i began to jog my knees hurt again and i felt like my legs were going to break so i had no choice but to walk the whole way.

Going downhill reallly messed up my knees.But i hung in there. We calculated a total of 10 miles. Awesome workout! I felt good at the end of the day and still had an adrenallin rush and wanted to hit the gym! But i didn't because we ended up going to a Dodger game.

I'm currently frustrated too because i'm trying to grow some strawberries but just when i saw 12 lil sprouts i'm down to 3 because the rest dried up and died. i'm pretty bummed. I don't know what i did wrong but i'm trying my best. Hopefully they revive or more conitnue to grow.

I just recieved my medical card and already mailed a copy to the hospitals and hopefully they take care of the issue.

So far so good. Everything seems to be balanced out and things seem to be working out. I recently found a map of my school's math requirements for graduation. THANK GOD I FOUND IT!!! Based on the math offered on their website i calculated approx 3 years if not more of math but in reallity i only need a year and a half of math in order to transfer and just a year of math to graduate with my AA! If i wouldn`t have found that paper i would have taken a ton of math that i wouldn't have needed.

Well, hope everything is going well for everyone else.

Love you guys!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo!!!!!!

Well, there's finally some good news after all the horrible events.

My medical application was finally approved. Thank goodness too because I have already recieved my hospital bills even from those whom didn`t help.

The biggest one is for $16,000. That was from the one that actually helped. So now i can send them my insurance info and have them take care of it.

I'm also picking up my life from where I left off. I'm starting to work out again and will soon be tatting again. Slowly things are looking up.

I truely hope that things continue to get better.

Its raining here in socal. While i stare at the rain i remenence about these past couple of days.

Friday March 26 was supposed to be a routine check up for me. I went to the doctor's office wondering what it will consist of. I already have recieved gifts for the baby and pookey and i have been fighting over the name.

When its our turn to go in the doctor starts to listen for the heart beat. I was excited to hear it again. I was hoping he'd say "well congrats you just passed onto the second trimester" but instead he stopped and asked me to go to the ER and request an immediate ultrasound. I was afraid and rushed to the nearest hospital which was Belflower. They said i had to make an appointment and made me wait 3 hours.

Finally i was in the ultrasound room. They wouldn't tell me anything and that's when i panicked. They told me that the doctor was going to go over the results with me and now i had to wait another 2 hours before i could know anything.

Finally the dr called us in. He told us that the fetus was dead. It tore me apart. My heart shattered and i broke into tears. He said there was no fetal heart beat and it has been dead for 2 weeks and i didn't even know it.

It was strange becuase all of a sudden i was able to sleep well and the cravings went away and i assumed it was because the pregnancy was advancing not knowing something was wrong.

So the doc said i had to return on monday because i had to have it removed. I was in denial so i went to long beach memorial hospital. I lied that i had been bleeding just so they could see me. They took out blood and performed 2 ultrasounds and i could see for myself that indeed there was no fetal heartbeat. Again i began to cry. I was hoping it would move or do something just to show me it was okay. But it didn't.

The ER doc told me the same thing and said that on monday i had to return to my doc so he could remove it.

All weekend i cried and held my tummy and asked why it happend. Was it something i shouldn't have eaten? did i sleep wrong? did i stress too much? Why my baby?

Monday came, due to insurance issues my doc refused to admit me to the hospital and asked me to go to Harbor UCLA hospital becuase the procedure would cost $4,000 and it may be less there.

We were waiting for 12 hours and were told that they weren't even sure if they would be able to do anything for me but i had to wait approx 30 hours before i could be seen. I was going thru a hard time how could they ask me to sit in a crowded room with no food or a place to sleep for 30 hours?! They asked me not to eat 12 hours before surgery but how was i even sure i would go thru surgery when they said they're not sure? Pookey and i just left and decided to try another hospital.

Tuesday came. It was now 3 weeks with a dead fetus in my womb. My mom took me to Presbyterian hospital. In desperate need of help i approach the front desk and told them my situation and within minutes i had a room. They took blood and gave me an IV.

A doc came in and told me that they may have to send me back to Harbor UCLA because due to my insurance issue they can't due much for me so i had to wait another 30 plus hours again. He said that the obgyn docs there were not willing to do anything for me unless i paid a percentage of the cost of the surgery which can cost from $5,000- $6,000 on the spot. So i told him that i have been bouncing from hospital to hospital with a dead fetus in me which is extremely toxic and i need to get it done that day so he said he would try to talk to the docs again and see if they are willing to do it anyway.

I was alone in the room and i held my tears back because i couldn't believe the stupid medical and insurance system. A person could be dying and they will be turned away if they don't have insurance or don't have the money to pay upfront for the services.

The doc came back and he said that one doc was willing to help me out. He said that once he heard my story he felt sorry and wanted to help but i would be billed for the survices which at that point i didnt care.

I was admited into a room with another IV and shortly someone came in to take me into surgery.

My mom said everything would be okay but she looked scared. Then they took me to the OR and injected me with anesthesia. I met with the doc and he explained that the procedure is called a D & C and told me the risks and said he was upset at what i had to go through. He told me that i shared the same pain that millions of women go through. He told me to look into my irregular menstral cycle since i only get it once a year that can cause cervical cancer and said I should wait 2 months before i try to get pregnant again.

I was considering everything he was saying. I was just really happy that out of all the drs in that hospital, he was the only one willing to help me not knowing if he will be paid or not he was willing to help me.

I was then taken to a smaller room that felt like a freezer. There were about 5 ladies in there and told me to move onto another table. I looked to my left and saw a ton of things one that looked like an ice pick and then clamps and i got scared. they asked me to lay back and i began to shiver. They asked if i was scared or cold and i replied that i was freezing. They injected me with something and within a matter of seconds the room spinned backward and everything went black.

It felt like i only closed my eyes for 3 seconds. When I woke up it was as though i was waking from a dream. Not knowing what happened or where i was at, i began to cry and ask for my baby. It was as though my body knew what happend. I had a plastic tube in my mouth and had all these things connected to me. I could barely open my eyes and kept crying. I was not in pain and it felt as if though they didn't do anything to me.

A nurse approached me and asked me if i was in pain and all i kept saying was " my baby, my baby" and kept crying. She took out the plastic tube and put on an oxygen mask and said that things happen for a reason. My blood pressure lowered and i began to get cold and began to shiver. They told me they would lower my bed and see if i stablize.

When i was able to open my eyes i began to realize what was going on. And wondered what happend. My face was numb and the nurse was wiping her tears. They checked to see if i was bleeding and then transfered me to my room.

My family met up with me there and they looked sad to see me out of it.

I was able to go home that night and was asked to return in a week for a follow up check up. I couldn't dress. I began to feel the pain and had to be taken out in a wheel chair.

I have been in recovery for almost a week. I already went for my follow up and got the doctor a thank you card for being such an awesome person. Everything turned out fine.

I am now fully recovered physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I still cry once in a great while but accepted the fact that it was a miscarriage and the fetus had a genetic problem that kept it from growing.

It's still hard. I try not to think of it.

Instead i try to think that i will continue school and hopefully by next year try again and see what happens.

Although i know that things happen for a reason, it doesn't take the pain away.

This experience has inspired me to pursue a carreer in medicine. Not sure what yet but we'll see that later down the road. In the meantime, Im going to tackle the math and catch up in order to transfer to long beach.

Once again, thank you for listening.

Wow, so many amazing things happening all at once and it's all so hard to sink in. It feels as though i'm dreaming.

A couple months ago I was going through what I believed to be a depressive mode. I was concerned about my financial status and worried about my future.

When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know how to react. Sure it probably doesn't make everything better in a way but I think this was the miracle that I needed to motivate me to pursue something in life. I never thought I would be able to get pregnant. Doctors would tell me that it would be difficult for me to do so and blah blah blah. So I believe that things happen for a reason.

This little being inside of me will bring me all the joy that I was missing. It will make me smile more often and cry of joy in those precious moments. On Friday I went to the doctor's and I heard the heartbeat for the first time. I wanted to cry because I was tripping out at the fact that life is growing in me. One thing is having people tell you that you're pregnant and another is seeing it for yourself non the less hearing proof like the heartbeat!!!

I have been tired more often and easily. Yesterday Pookey took me to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D and I was only out for 3 hours and I felt like I was out all day. When I got home I fell on my bed and knocked out. It felt so good to lay down. The doctor says I need a lot of bed rest or I will go through a lot of headaches and pains. He's right.

I got my tax return and thankfully it was enough to pay a huge chunk of my car giving me one year to pay it off. Leaving me with an extra chunk of change to use it for rent or bills etc.

Once I found out I was pregnant I forgot about all the stress and worries because something inside told me that everything was going to go okay.

It was right. On February I got a letter from the unemployment and appeals office stating that my case was accepted and approved. On Saturday I got all my unemployment checks that were owed to me. I will keep receiving my benefits until October of this year. This made me so happy.

We are really trying to buy a house more than ever now. Pookey's parents are trying to expedite the process so the baby will have a home to go to once it's born.

I saw my Dad at TJ last year in August for just 2 days after not seeing him for 15 years. That was not enough time to bond and catch up. Now that i'm pregnant, and that my unemployment has arrived I will be going to Guadalajara Mexico and spend a week there with my Dad . Pookey, my mom, my bro and me and my big ol' belly will go in June. My mom and bro will stay there all summer but Pookey and I can only stay for a week due to the commitments we have here such as work for him, and other errands I would need to take care of here.

Once I told my Dad he got really happy. Tickets are already bought and it's just a matter of time.

I am currently 11 weeks and the baby is scheduled to be born in September 25th. I'm really excited. I want to start buying baby stuff but I have to wait because I don't even know the gender yet :/. I'm barely starting to show. None of my clothes fit anymore. I don't want to buy maternity clothing either because I know I'm not going to wear it after my pregnancy and I don't plan on having another baby until probably 3 or more years later.

Overall, great things are happening. This is our lucky baby who is bringing and will keep bringing everyone lots of luck, hope and love.

I will be going back to school next year for the spring. I wanted to start going in the fall of this year but I will miss half of the semester because that's when the baby is born and the baby will need me. So i'll post pone it for the Spring. FASFA is already turned in and I will be notified in the Summer if I qualify or not and how much i qualify for.

I haven't had any luck with boy names, do you guys have any suggestions? I want something that's not common. I want something very unique. Any ideas?

If it's a girl i like the name Apple. What do you guys think? No one likes it over here but I do. Girl names are easier than boy names. So i'm not worrying about the girl names but I def need a boy name.

Well guys. Thanx for listening once again!! I hope things look up for everyone! Ciao!!!!!

xoxo

Peaches

Hey everyone!

Been very crazy and busy lately. I have been feeling okay and sick at the same time.

Yesterday I got my first ultra sound. It was amazing! I saw my baby's heart beat and all along I though I was 5 weeks into my pregnancy and I came to find out that I am 9 weeks and 4 days! I'm almost done with my first trimester!

Here's a pic of my lil gummy bear:




If you look close enough you could see the baby's nose

Well, i'm going to keep this short. I'm dead tired, it's time for my nap . Enjoy!!!!

xoxo

Peaches