...that totally sucks.....KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!....remember what you have learned.....

What are you searching for in life... What do you need to make yourself feel happy in your skin? This world is harsh - it rips people to pieces and when they die it doesn't even shed a tear - it'd wear white to a funeral. But we your friends think you're great, and we'll always be here for you, despite this world we live in...

I'm with a lot of the other people here: screw everyone else.

You just need to act selfishly and say stop, take a step back from everything, and learn to let other people cope on their own for a change. They in turn need to learn that they have to fend for themselves and not rely so much on you, no adult should need mothering and everyone has to act their age eventually.

I went through something similar half a lifetime ago, and if I could give myself any advice that would be it (except I'd be harsher to myself and there would a lot of swearing). It's taken probably close to 10 years for me to be finally fixed, and that is a lot of time to waste.

Chin up, and don't let the bastards get you down.

ride the wave it always get you somewhere and you will look back and be happy that you have been where you have been.
Trust me I'm old.

HUGS!

ok - first thing you gotta do is take care of yourself - before you can make ANYBODY else happy you gotta make you happy.

Don't dwell on what's done - cuz it's done and you can't change it - keeping it in mind is OK because hopefully it'll keep you from repeating any mistakes but don't kick yourself for stuff that's happened.

and you're NOT a monster - you might have made some mistakes and maybe even made people unhappy but sometimes stuff happens and sometimes doing what's right can cause other people to be unhappy - that happens too and it's OK.

And remember there's people out here that care about you and will always listen to you.

*HUGS!!!*

I know how you're feeling. I've felt that way too. But the truth is, you can't do everything for others and sacrifice all of yourself. If you're not the happiest, best self you can be, you're actually shortchanging the people you care about. If you give in to your depression, even if you think you're doing what's best for other people, you're not as capable as you would be if you were healthier.

I know we don't really know each other, but your blog just seemed close enough to my own experience to make me worried for your sake.

This is one of the most heart and soul bearing things i've ever read. I see a lot of myself here, especially over the past four years of my life. It was back then that I lost something that was as much a part of me as my arms or legs. I've been struggling to recapture something that cannot be recaptured.

I've known what depression feels like, so I relate to where you're at. Doing things fore other people's sakes only brings me down even further. It's only when I recognize what I truly need to make me happy that reaching that happiness is possible.

Yes, you may need to tear everything down and build from scratch. I reluctantly saw that this was something I needed to do for myself, without the ready made excuses that are so easy for me to use. I'm much older than you, which doesn't necessarilly mean my grief, loss and disappointments are any more or less than yours. I would never presume to judge another's pain.

It's easy to give up, to wallow in one's own perception of hopelessness and despair. I can tell you that, all that this has done for me is make an otherwise youthful-feeling person feel old and decrepit.

All of this talk won't matter one bit to you unless you can see your way out of this fog for reasons that are important to you, and you alone. I've been able to let my thoughts flow through my fingers and onto the screen because the things I feel have been with me much too long and were becoming my closest friend. Those feelings i'm talking about are named pain, suffering, grief, hopelessness and despair.

The reason I'm hopeful of breaking out of this merry-go-round is because i got to the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. If you get to that same place, you're be able to pull yourself out of the dark place that you see yourself in. There's help out there, but it has to start from within. Otherwise it's like spinning one's wheels in a muddy ditch.

I wish you strength, courage and resolve. If you have those things, you'll be fine. In fact, you'll be better than fine. Best of luck. Remember, there are lots of people who care about you and want to see you overcome.

Yes, things do suck sometimes. Look, you know me, you know a majority of what I have been through, life sucks for everyone at one point. The important thing to remember is that after hitting bottom, there is only one place to go, and that's up! You only get this one life and it is way too short to worry over things that you don't have control over. Shit happens to everyone, you are most definetly not alone in this. Be thankful for what you have: you aren't living on the street, you don't have a drug addiction, you have 2 jobs (in a time when, sadly enough, people can't find 1), you are gorgeous, you have friends that care about you (I'm one of 'em), and you are young. That is a big one, BTW. You still have so much time left to change things and start anew.
Call or text me if you need to talk.
I love you!

Look at all these people who love and empathize with you, it's so great! I don't know you really, but I do know that I have felt the way that you do sometimes. I have definitely been through some serious self loathing and you know what, I think that its the forest fire before all new little trees can begin to grow. Sometimes, we have to destroy ourselves a little bit to be able to se the sunshine.