Ok, so things are a bit better now. I'm calm, i'm starting to think straight and i have come up with a solution.

Yesterday, work was super busy! I ended doing OT again. I was so tired by the end of the day that all i wanted to do was sleep. After work Pookey invited me to the movies so we went.

We ate at a Japanese restaurant called Yasumi or something similar by the AMC in Norwalk. I LOVE their spicy chicken bowl! If you ever go try it! Like usual, i never finish my food so i ended up taking it home.

We took the food to the car and walked towards the theatre. There was a lady selling roses. Pookey finally did what i always wanted him to do without me telling him that's what i wanted him to do. He bought me a rose. He actually went up to her and asked me to pick one and i was shocked and shy and embarrassed and idk! lol He completely threw me off, i wasn't expecting it. I felt like i wasn't supposed to accept it but yet it felt good cuz that's a really sweet thing to do and have always wanted someone to do that for me.

I think it's his way of saying he's sorry and i can tell he's trying to work things out and i really want to also but i know what the outcome will be and i don't think apologies work for us anymore. We need to do something about it for good and soon because we can't keep doing this back and fourth. Its just not fair to either of us.

So we went inside and watched BRUNO!!!! So funny! It had a message in its own weird way but it made you think. Like the part where he said that he was rejected because he wasn't afraid to try something new and the OJ incident and in the end when he was called a "fag". If you haven't seen the movie i won't spoil it but if you watch it and you understand the meaning behind what he does and says it makes you think how a lot of things people do we don't either acknowledge or realize out own actions.

The song in the end was the best! I loved it! LOL

Well SG, just thought i'd throw something positive your way since i've been really blue lately. THanx for all ur wishes and advice, they really make me feel better, they really do thank you!