I feel hung over. My head hurts, i feel nauseous, my eyes hurt and thanx to all that crying i did yesturday. Staying home alone didn't help, it only made it worse. Pookey came home and surprisingly he came into the room and laid next to me. He never does that unless something is wrong. Usually he goes to the living room and watches TV.

So he hugged me and we were talking cuz he wanted to see what was wrong with me. I could have told him what was wrong but then i thought to myself that it was useless. If i tell him he's going to say its okay and things will change but it ends up being a cycle. It changes for a few days but there he goes on doing it again. He's a wonderful person. He's the best thing that happend to me. I just don't know if i can adapt to his way of being or its time for a change. I'm a very emotional person and i can get hurt very easily. It's just so complicated to put together and explain how i feel and why.

So a couple friends invited me to go watch the Harry Potter movie for the midnight show and i told them i was too bummed out to go. So they convinced me by saying to just go out and get distracted and forget about the world. I really didn't want to talk about the situation anymore and especially think about it because i don't want to act based on impulsions. I want to think things through and decide if i will make a change in my life in needs to start now but how.

So instead of going to the movies we went to a friend's house. Tickets were sold out everywhere. We were all haning in his room and it was a mess and he was cleaning it. So i said i might as well help him out if i'm going to be there. My freind Edy was catching up with me cuz we havent seen each other in forever! So it was really nice to hear how he's been. I was helping him organize his movies and shelves and everything else. My friend Brandon was also there and told me that it was worthless cleaning it because it was going to end up the same. But i didn't care, Edy needed my help and i wasn't going to sit around and watch him clean.

So we did what we could and ended up playing video games and watching funny youtube videos. I felt like one of the guys. But i was still bummed out cuz Pookey was mad that i left. I was wondering why he wasn't calling but little did i know that he did but i didn't hear my phone. That's how loud it was lol.

So after a clean room, some video games and a lil cat videos on youtube i decided i should go home. I sed bye to everyone and went home. They asked me to text them once i got home and i did. I even told Edy if he ever needed help cleaning his room or interior design his room i'm just a phone call away and he got happy. i'm glad.

I got home, and Pookey was still up, waiting for me. We then fell asleep and now i'm back at work. I feel numb. I feel like when you sleep on your arm, you add so much pressure that you end up numbing your arm. That's how i feel. Like i was adding so much pressure on my thoughts and feelings that i'm now numb. I hope this goes away because i need to start thinking straight.