Okay, so I moved into my new apartment. Sorry, if I wasn't on the net for awhile during that-was just to busy. Ugh-haveing to buy more furniture now-since this apt is alot bigger. i like it though-as soon as I get everything set up & nice looking-I'm gonna try to throw a dinner party. I love to cook, btw.

I'm now over the breakup. If anything I'm just more pissed at him now for being so childish, manipulative, controlling & untrusting ingeneral. I don't even know what to believe & what not to believe now whenever he opens his mouth. Grrr! No more younger men for me-can't tolerate it!

I'm also hoping to do another set as soon as possible-just need to try a land the location. Still very disappointed about my rejected set-thought that it was very classy in a fetish way....

Have decided to stop going out for awhile & maybe go through a hermitty phase.

Lost my new lip ring that I just got done-so it closed up. Now I have to wait for awhile before I can get it repierced.

And already planning my new hairstyle for when I get bored w/ the dreads


Gee....did I miss anything? LOL!

Ok, so unfortunately me & the bf broke up a few days ago-he flipped out on me a couple dif times (nothing violent-so no worries). It makes me so sad, but I know that it's for the best because it just wouldn't have worked. He was younger than me also so that prob didn't help. The last two weeks of the relationship I was pretty unhappy & unnerved anyways so it was just a matter of time. I'm just starting to wonder though, when I'm gonna be able to have a healthy relationship too, like other people. I mean I know that is pretty hard already w/ me being a stripper and all, but it is a dream of mine. He treated me so good too, was always such a gentlemen, caring, sensitive & emotional. Unfortunately, though, too much of the later two-it was too much for me. Also because he is younger he was prone to being jealous, insecure & little controlling-unfortunately my past followed me to his ears from other people (toxic people) lips. It's not fair that way I suppose-but everything happens for a reason-it just sux that I have to feel this horrible. I do miss him & care very much-even though I always knew that it wouldn't work. & I hate the fact that I'm breaking his heart right now-it eats me up inside in such a horrible way. I just hope he won't hate me later on down the road, that would kill me. I've never been good w/ breakups-always unbearably sad whether I'm the dumper or the dumpee-somehow I always feel like a bad person. I miss him so much, but I hope the best for him.

Made a myspace for my SG stuffie. The Display name is Papina Suicide. Check it out ppl & leave me nicey comments & stuff & also what you think of the song-it's kinda like poetry by a Native American artist I've met. Good soup!

Ok, I think Dr. Lizardo is right-it's time for another blog, I've been alittle behind. But I figured that I had to at least wait until my life got alittle more interesting than just your average blah, blah, blah, blah......he he!
So currently I will be claiming bankruptcy as soon as possible. Really gotten myself in over my head & can't dig myself out (have been trying to dig myself out for alittle over year now w/ no success whatsoever) & I need a clean new slate. So no matter what anybody says I'm excited about this. Hopefully, I can start saving money again once this is done and over. I have been working my ass off as well, but work has been pretty rough on us girls what w/ the weather & the economy & all.
I also have a new live in boy now. I've never lived w/ anyone I've been involved w/ before, so this seems to be going rather swimmingly. At first I was alittle cold & not always so nice to him (but I tend to wall myself up alot), but I've finally decided to claim him & be a little sweeter. It's funny how it happened too- I had taken him out on a date about a month & half to 2 months ago & he sorta just never left. Lol! I've always lived this kinda unconventional bohemian lifestyle. Hey, if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. Besides, he's really sweet to me & treats me good (I haven't had a good guy or a healthy relationship since high school, ugh.). He's a couple years younger than me-but got his act more together than I do-lol!
I want to start traveling again soon, but i think that that is gonna have to wait alittle aleast until I've finished my DUI treatment time-ugh. Miss traveling & dancing in strange places... *sniff sniff*
The Admiral is doing pretty well for me as well, & for the most part i have been able to control my drinking alot more, now that I'm not around booze 24/7, w/ the occasional slip up of course. I still drink-I just don't get hammered out of control like I used to.
I also decided to set my anxieties aside & join the SGChicago group again. Hopefully, things will work out alittle better this time around, huh. Sometimes, i can be alittle oversensitive and all. Dunno, fingers crossed.....
Oooo, I also got myself a big fat goldfish too, I want to get more as well w/ alittle mini aquarium & a couple live plants for them. I love big fat goldfish-they're so pretty & soothing to watch.
Well, that's all for now folks!

Okie dokie-so yeah, I have dreadlocks now! yay! I've been wanting them for awhile & finally just built up the courage a couple weeks ago to get them done. I'm really happy w/ the way they turned out & look. So tell me what ya think?

Oooo! I'm so excited! i just got my ankle piece finished & my belly button pierced again-it's fucking awesome! My finished piece wraps around my ankle-it says in Cherokee "Simplicity is happiness" and it is surrounded by an Eskimo eagle-I'm so happy w/ it. I was also supposed to get a butterfly on my wrist, but there wasn't enough time. So I will have to go back Jan 3rd-was also thinking of getting yet another piercing when I go back. So I have been a very happy girl lately.

Okie dokie, so I am now back in action @ the Admiral. I'm happy to be back, although I did have to do acouple name changes because of complications. Finally decided it was much easier just to use the damn name I was born with. Lol!
Finally got my court stuffy stuff straight, got a very good deal, but really gonna have to behave myself for the next couple years. God bless lawyers. Oh well, I was never really that bad to begin w/-just sort of a really fun mess.
I think I've been going out way to much again, so I'm gonna have to start settling my little socialite ass down again. My wallet will thank me for it in the end.
I shot another set for SG, but it was declined-so it's sitting in the hopeful thingie now, guess I'm gonna have to come up with another idea for a set now-dunno. I'll think of sumetin.

Hey there y'all,
It's gonna be my b-day party 2morrow! So Yay! Now I will be @ the ripe old age of 25-lol! The last weekend & week have been very eventful & interesting. I went to the Tiesto show (lotso' fun!), tried rolling for the first time (amazing), went to court (ugh!) & my b-day party 2morrow. Been a very, very busy girl. But better busy than bored!

Has any one else noticed how out of hand this whole nonsmoking thing is getting? I have seriously noticed how many nonsmokers have become seriously inconsiderate. Not to say I don't feel bad that many nonsmokers have to deal with the smell of smoke. But at the same time, I consider myself a very polite smoker as are most smokers now of days. I will usually ask someone if they mind if i smoke or if they have a problem with my smoking then I will wait to have one or move away. But now becasue of so many new laws alot of us smokers are being treated very inconsiderately. For example, the state of Illinios will be going completely nonsmoking january 2008-I for one am not looking forward to this, considering most of the year its freezing cold. Know what i mean? The last thing I wanna do is go outside in the dead of January or February in my little mini skirted ass to have smoke when at a club or bar. Oooo, & can we talk about the prices as well, I am now paying $7.26 a pack! Wow! I also notice that alot of times, some of these nonsmokers will bitch about smell & yadda yadda yadda-but then when they're out they become social smokers after acouple of drinks & who is the first person they're bumming smokey treats off then? Uh-huh, you know it. What the hell ever happened to smoking & nonsmoking sections-man I miss those. *sniff sniff*

Okay, so I am sick & bored because it's 6:40 in the fucking morning & I still haven't been able to fall asleep. i hate being sick. Unfortunately, I have always been one of those people not capable of turning her brain off. But anywhoo on the bright side I have bought myself a new ipod so now I can go back to downloading funnsies (my old one was stolen when my car was impounded *sniff sniff*). Although I did notice that there is a problem w/ one of Manko's ipod videos. When I try to load it-it comes up as her other video. Weird, huh. Very disapointing because I really like the beauty queen video. Oh well, what can ya do.
On to further things, it has come to my attention that men actually gossip more than women do alot of times & sometimes, unfortunately, not in the most intelligent way. The way I see it, if your gonna be running your trap then at least be intelligent about it & make sure it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass. Oh & don't lie either-lying is just cowardice. So sad, why is it that my affairs always blow up in my face because of someone else? I could understand if I was doing it to myself, right. Oh well, the way I see if everyone already knows I might as well give them something really fun to talk about. Lol! I realize that I need to stick w/ the older ones-never have gotten along w/ lovers my own age. Besides, their more fun anyways.
I've also decided that I need to get back to my roots. I used to go to movies all the time, rent movies, paint, go to museums, take pictures, go to pet shops, & read alot more. Where on the other hand I've wasted alot of myself in clubs & bars almost every night. It's been awesome because I have so many stories & stuff, but I have lost a part of myself that I need to find again. Time to clean out my brain-it's getting abit dusty, huh. & it's been so long since I've picked up my beloved paint brushes. *smileing loveingly*
Ooooo, & wouldn't it be awesome if we could download theme songs onto our profile's kinda like myspace? I really would like that.