PICS
Anyway, the reason I felt upset and angry was because I have a lot of stuff, and my boyfriend has almost none. He's not into material possessions almost at all: He doesn't collect anything. He owns the minimum number of pants, shirts, and shoes that he needs to get by. The books he reads tend to be ones I bring him, and they go back on my shelves when he's done.
I, on the other hand, have amassed things, just things, for as long as I can remember. Exhibit A:
Here I am, age ... maybe seven? LOOK at all that junk behind me. That was my junk. I probably still have some of it. Exhibit B:
That's a photo of a bunch of junk we actually took *out* of the cottage about two months ago. And some of it is actually still outside right now. It's covered with snow and totally ruined.
The thing is, it was inevitable that that would happen. My boyfriend can not stand having this much junk and clutter all over the place, and I can only continue to helplessly stress that this is how I've always been, and how I will always be. I really can't help it.
I purge regularly. When the amount of junk builds up to where it gets on even my nerves, I sort through it and take bags and bags to a local thrift shop. I sell some of it on eBay. I even rent a storage space, which is where most of my art supplies are.
But the junk returns. If I see something for free, I take it. If I see something that's cheap and will fit me or look neat on the windowsill, I buy it. Sometimes (but not often) I'll even buy something that's not-so-cheap, like the $100 glass-fronted book case I bought at an auction the other weekend. (Hey, at least it holds stuff.)
I try to convince my boyfriend that I don't have control over the junk. It's a partial truth; I don't really want to have control over it, or at least to have to control myself. I really like my stuff. I like seeing it there, looking weird. I like people's reactions when they come over for the first time. I like touching it, and moving it around, and putting it away. I like throwing it out, even!
But he doesn't understand. His possessions literally take up about a quarter of our bedroom. The rest of the cottage is my junk, except for a few bags of his tools in the front room (which we call the Airlock). He's tolerated (or at least, he hasn't moved out) this for about two-and-a-half years, but occasionally it just gets to him (usually in the winter when we're cooped up and hungry) and we have a Conversation.
I'm not sure what the compromise should be. I constantly feel guilty because I know my clutter drives him crazy, even though he rarely complains about it. If it were warmer maybe I'd take some of it outside to the fire pit and burn it. Our property is for sale and we're going to have to move soon (but that's another journal entry). Until then, I think we're at a standstill.
DEC 21, 2008 01:33 PM
I'm kind of a junk hog and pack rat too. I have books scattered everywhere. 
Please tell me you at least brought the books inside...
I hope you guys can continue to coexist...
DEC 21, 2008 02:19 PM
DEC 21, 2008 03:41 PM
DEC 21, 2008 03:53 PM
and part 2:
I think this issue would have come up between my ex g/f and me, if we'd been together longer and ever tried to move in together. I may have a bedroom and closet full of stuff, but she has a HOUSE full of stuff. (some of it very cool stuff, don't get me wrong. But it was a LOT).
I think about this subject often... and here's something for you to think abouit, if you will: does having a LOT of stuff make you happy? Would you be happier if you just kept the FAVORITES of the stuff you have? How much money could you make selling certain things you are done with?
I love to read, but sell off most novels after I've read them, and some comic books too.
If you decide to clean out a little, you don't have to do it all at once. Like that shelf in the picture... think of how much neater it would look- and easier to keep clean- if u had less up there. Maybe you love the microscope (for example... i think it looks cool) but not the big bottle or the doll (again, just for example).
I used to have almost every (original series) Star Wars figure, now I just have my favorites. 
You can even try putting some stuff in boxes for a bit, and seeing if you miss them or not... if you do, you can always put them back out. If you don't, you may find yourself willing to get rid of them! And between thrift stores and putting stuff out for free, you can clean out non-saleable stuff without tossing them in the trash. Knowing someone else is going to enjoy an item feels better than adding to a landfill.
I hope u don't mind all my thoughts... like I said, collecting/cleaning out is an issue in my family, and an interest of mine.
quietlythere
USA
June 2004
DEC 22, 2008 12:42 AM
DEC 22, 2008 07:15 AM
I think if he loves you, he should accept the junk. Stuff is cool.
I've gotten there with my wife. She is clothes insane- not designer or anything, she thrifts all the time, and comes home with BAGS of stuff that she gets for a total of $20 or so. It makes her happy. Generally, as new stuff comes in, old stuff gets redonated. It's kind of a nice system. Drove me crazy for a while, but really makes her happy, the stuff is cheap, she uses it, and it gets re donated. What's the harm? Keep the stuff!
plus, you can layer it on top of you when you get cold. Books make good insulation. 
DEC 22, 2008 11:06 AM
My brother has always been into "stuff." I have a smidgen of it, but as we've both aged it seems to have gone away. Now he collects the photos he takes and I collect comments on websites.
DEC 23, 2008 07:55 AM
hey darling .....have fantastic christmas holidays happy new year ....and many many gift under your christmas tree a lots of kisses for you !!!
JAN 03, 2009 10:43 AM
I am also a junk lover, except that I have poor talent arranging it, so it ends up with the skulls in my closet 
good luck with your moving
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