Is there something Im missing? Is there some kind of secret job-attaining handshake I need to give prospective employers? Maybe a magical incantation I need to include in my resume?
I really dont want to sound whiny. Let me know if thats how any of this sounds.
I have been unemployed for several months. At first, losing both of my jobs gave me a feeling of relief. I wanted out but had no time to look for something that wouldnt drain me and make me want to stab everyone in the face. The free time was nice and I spent a lot of it looking for a new job. At first I tried to find something where I could use my newly acquired Bachelor's degree. I fully knew that people with a Bachelor's degree are not so hard to come by these days, but remained positive and hopeful. There was a decent job for me out there, and I was going to find it. Again, it didnt have to be the "perfect" job. Just something that wouldnt drive me bat-shit crazy.
This proved harder than I had thought it would be and after a few months, I got much less picky. Marshalls, department stores, Grocery stores (mainstream and health food), restaurants (FOH and BOH), pet stores (independent and large chain), dog grooming, behavioral therapy agencies, and LITERALLY dozens of administrative and lab assistant jobs in the UC system. I applied to THREE different UCs and at least 8 different positions at each one before realizing how bad the budget cuts are. I can't even imagine how many applications and resumes were received for all of the jobs I applied for. Employers could easily find somebody more qualified than I. It grew more and more frustrating.
I applied for unemployment, had a phone interview a few weeks later, and then heard nothing. I've called and emailed with no response from the EDD.
Im ready for the call from Toyota Financial asking me where I park my car.
I've been ignoring my phone when the collection agencies call.
I've used my Target card to buy groceries.
The girls all have about 3 cups of food left for each of them and I dont know where the next bags of food will come from. I contemplate selling Eleanor but it brings me to tears. Imagine thinking about selling your child.
With no insurance, and next to no income, I cant afford any of my medications.
I'm vollying back and forth between rallying myself up to press on, and selling everything I can, and taking a hike.
I'm running out of ideas, and steam.
The periods of positivity used to last weeks, with a few days of depression. Now its reversed.
At least this is free.
end rant.
now heres some llamas:











































why yes, i had TONS of fun
and somebody is quite the ham sandwich!!!

Atari is still plucking, but things are good
for a while, all she would eat was seed, but now shes been sampling the veggies and fruits. She likes banana!



there she is, definitely biting off more than she can chew! i held out that large piece to her to see if she would try it. she did and then pulled that whole thing away from me and ran off with it.
Shes also been enjoying oranges and strawberries.
Tomorrow I have to call the bird clinic to see about getting a little cone for her to wear to help curb the plucking. Im also going to try to make a little vest for her that will cover her nakey birdness so she doesnt get cold. ^_^
Is it summer yet?!!!
fereals, Im not kidding around. Get yourself a snack.
Odette is a smitten kitten! Soon I will be off to Seattle to see kiltedgoth!!!!!
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I have a new bird!
Big ol long story spoilered for your sanity:

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here she is, right after we got her. I looked up conures and she is a White Eyed Conure. They have the best verbal ability of all the conures!
She has no band, and due to the condition she was in when I found her (fully flighted, VERY long untrimmed nails, and VERY plucked) I would be reluctant to return to the previous owner were I able to find them. There have been no ads on craigslist or in the paper and nobody has reported her lost to the local bird stores.
I have made great progress with her as far as socializing. I wasnt sure at first how friendly she would be. It seemed that she was possibly hand tame at one point but due to neglect or mishandling, she isnt so much anymore. I kept her in Eleanor's cage for about a week (Eleanor also has a playstand in my room and a stand on the top of the cage where she can eat) and on Wednesday, I took her to get her wings clipped and tonenails trimmed. When we got home, and I tried to get her out of the travel cage and back to the big cage, she jumped on me and climbed up to my shoulder. ![]()
So I let her hang out for a while, and she even took a tiny piece of corn chip (unsalted of course) from my hand. Since then I've been leaving the cage door open so she can go where she pleases (my apartment is bird proofed
). I heard her land on the floor yesterday so I went to go check on her. She had gone to the travel cage and climbed on to it and Maisy was bothering her so I shooed Maisy away and even though I figured it wouldnt work, I offered her my arm. Well she jumped right on and went to my shoulder! Friendly but not hand friendly. We'll work on it. She sat on me for a while and preened my hair and chattered.
Today while on my shoulder she nibbled on my neck and ears, preened my hair and when i turned to look at her, she curled her head down as if she wanted me to pet her. Very carefully I touched her feathers and since she didnt get startled, i petted her neck as well.
So shes really warming up! At the suggestion of QuantumEDL I have named her Atari. I think shes a girl because of the shape of her head (thanks Zoola!) and hopefully soon I can have her DNA sexed.
Oh, and she also says "I love you!" which is so cute because of the way she says it. I say "I love you" and she responds "I love YOOOU!"
Today, Peas came over and we went to get food. On the way out I said "Im becoming a crazy bird lady" and Atari laughed! like, "HA HA HA HAA!!!" sooo cute. I can already see she has SOOO much personality and sass!
here she is, hiding from the phone:
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After soooooo much waiting, I finally got to meet khoos and baby T!!!! Trillian is the bestest baby in the world and khoos even let me wear her!!!!!

yeah, shes feeling me up. figures, the offspring of mydogfarted and khoos would be a total perv!
we hung out for a couple days and also attended miss Pandorial's baby shower. She is totally ready to pop! Since little Olivia is in breach, Pandorial is going in for a C section on monday. Looks like she had her baby shower just in time! Hopefully khoos will have some more pics from the trip up soon. But who can blame her for not getting to it right away? Shes pregnant again!
omg babies everywhere. lol
yeah i post this everywhere i can. I fucking love it.
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Took the Psychology GRE almost 4 weeks ago. Im nervous to get my score!
Taking the general GRE on the 9th! Ive been studying my face off. I really cant wait for it to be over so I can start preparing for the LSAT and researching schools ![]()
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Finding a job has been pretty sucktastic. While Id be happy with just about anything that gave me income, I also want something that wont drive me batshit insane (most retail and food service). Since I have my bachelors in psychology now, and after the last bad experiences with working in restaurants Id really prefer something that isnt cooking or baking. Right now, the only cooking and baking I want to do is for friends and family.
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I recently had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with awesome chatter from the land down under, Ante during his stay in LA. Hes a lot of fuckin fun. Some pics of his last night out with his lady, myself and rattrod:
moar pics!!!!
these are from hanging out with sk8 and ante one night staying out til 6 am drinking...

shortly before going out

dorking out

troo chatters ![]()

we stayed out a bit later and sk8 and his roomie went back home. this is what we found when we got back to the apartment. you cant see too well but thats Maisy under sk8's arm

so much bromance

the night before sk8's bday he wasnt feeling so hot, so Ante and I went out and let him get some rest (He needed it, since Kraven was coming to visit the next day!), and of course, had to take a drunken picture with him.
well, now, at this moment, ak8 is driving up to Portland, and Ante is still en route to Australia.
California will miss you guys!
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Im gonna go stuff my brain with words now. If I can concentrate that is
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On monday morning at 4:30 am my mom and I left CA. after over 24 hours on the road (we stopped for a few naps) we finally got to the ranch.
the pond in the geldings' pasture had dried up while we were gone so my mom and i spent the first hour here watering all the horses by bucket. luckily, they hadnt been out of water too long. we think it was only a day. the pond has a pump from one of the wells but it wasnt working for some reason.
so theyre all watered and now we're just waiting on some bales of hay to be delivered.
I havent been online since friday, and what a perfect surprise to see my set on the front page
couldnt be a more perfect day for it.

thank you for all the awesome comments
the set was shot in the arena at the ranch that my stepdad used to manage. it was a 400 acre ranch for raising cows and horses. Step dad retired and moved to texas so there hadnt been any horses in that arena or the ranch for months.
there were several cowboys who lived on the ranch and worked there, breaking and training horses, shoeing horses, and other stuff. These guys would also participate in local rodeos and I loved going to watch them compete in calf roping, team roping, and bronco riding.
I loved going to the ranch, riding my horse there, taking care of the horses, watching the cowboys in the rodeo, and being out in a quiet peaceful place.
im very happy I was able to shoot there while I still could, and im very grateful to Lorelei for her awesome work.
Hard.
Goals for this month:
- pay off the Saks card.(I havent used this card in a jillion years and there isnt much left. This is gonna happen
- do my taxes.
- study for my GRE's every day. it seems lofty I know but at least an hour a day with my books and practice tests will probably make a huge difference. Also, I'm looking into taking the LSAT.

Club Suicide
peas & I

I really need to go more often

tacos, anyone?

my kisses taste like tacos
























