Running On Empty

Is there something Im missing? Is there some kind of secret job-attaining handshake I need to give prospective employers? Maybe a magical incantation I need to include in my resume?

I really dont want to sound whiny. Let me know if thats how any of this sounds.

I have been unemployed for several months. At first, losing both of my jobs gave me a feeling of relief. I wanted out but had no time to look for something that wouldnt drain me and make me want to stab everyone in the face. The free time was nice and I spent a lot of it looking for a new job. At first I tried to find something where I could use my newly acquired Bachelor's degree. I fully knew that people with a Bachelor's degree are not so hard to come by these days, but remained positive and hopeful. There was a decent job for me out there, and I was going to find it. Again, it didnt have to be the "perfect" job. Just something that wouldnt drive me bat-shit crazy.

This proved harder than I had thought it would be and after a few months, I got much less picky. Marshalls, department stores, Grocery stores (mainstream and health food), restaurants (FOH and BOH), pet stores (independent and large chain), dog grooming, behavioral therapy agencies, and LITERALLY dozens of administrative and lab assistant jobs in the UC system. I applied to THREE different UCs and at least 8 different positions at each one before realizing how bad the budget cuts are. I can't even imagine how many applications and resumes were received for all of the jobs I applied for. Employers could easily find somebody more qualified than I. It grew more and more frustrating.

I applied for unemployment, had a phone interview a few weeks later, and then heard nothing. I've called and emailed with no response from the EDD.

Im ready for the call from Toyota Financial asking me where I park my car.
I've been ignoring my phone when the collection agencies call.
I've used my Target card to buy groceries.
The girls all have about 3 cups of food left for each of them and I dont know where the next bags of food will come from. I contemplate selling Eleanor but it brings me to tears. Imagine thinking about selling your child.
With no insurance, and next to no income, I cant afford any of my medications.

I'm vollying back and forth between rallying myself up to press on, and selling everything I can, and taking a hike.

I'm running out of ideas, and steam.

The periods of positivity used to last weeks, with a few days of depression. Now its reversed.

At least this is free.

end rant.

now heres some llamas: