Hey there internet boyfriends and girlfriends!

Big news!!!

The Madame of The Keyhole Sessions and I filmed an erotic short about a month ago and just got word WE WERE NOMINATED FOR A FEMINIST PORN AWARD!!!

We are unbelievably excited for the event and to be nominated in the company of some killer people in erotic film, education and websites.

Here is the trailer for "Because I Want you To Watch"


The full short will be available for download soon, so keep your eyes peeled!!!

In other news, March is Epilepsy Awareness Month. Please take a few short minutes to familiarize yourself with the telltale signs of a seizure. (Not all seizures look the same! petite mall seizures generally involve little to no movement, and a blank, vacant look.)
Everyone should know some key basics to first aid, in case of any emergency situation, including seizures.

Check out the website for Epilepsy Toronto for more information.

March 26th is Purple Day, where people around the world are encouraged to wear purple to show their support to those living with epilepsy.
Now, I don't know about you guys, but I really don't think wearing anything is going to help me with the fact that I fall down all the time... You know what WOULD help me though? Presents from the internet. Presents would TOTALLY help me
"Hey, I know you got a concussion falling down a flight of stairs, having a seizure last month, but here is a mug with a picture of a unicorn barfing rainbows onto a sloth running for president. Enjoy."
Now THAT would totally make me feel better! hahaha

SO! I am starting an online initiative to make "Purple Day" into "Buy a lil' Somethin' Sweet for Friends With Epilepsy Day"!

Annnd, for those of you who don't know anyone living with epilepsy personally, I'll just post my wishlist right HERE, just in case any of you awesome people out in SG land want to brighten my day

love love love,
nymph
xoxoxo

Hey there internet boyfriends and girlfriends!

Here's a picture to start us off:

This is a picture from the last and FINAL drawing session for The Keyhole Sessions. We had a suicide girl-inspired FIGHT CLUB drawing session!!!
(If you don't know what I'm talking about; check THIS out!)

I had an crazy week full of ups and downs...
Tuesday I saw a therapist I was referred to through the hospital after my last admission for my seizures. I was hoping to begin talking to someone regularly to hopefully shed some light on to why I may be having psychogenic seizures aside from my epileptic episodes, as well as have someone to open up to about some of the difficulties I have faced since becoming ill.

Well, Tuesday was my follow up appointment with the doctor and I was heartbroken to learn that she would not be taking me on as a patient. She said that I would benefit from a neuropsychologist, who could focus on not only the psychological aspects of my seizure disorder, but also the physical, and that she doesn't feel she could help. I understood the reason for her decision, but it was still hard to take. She gave me 3 possible references to look up and self-refer, but I was given no additional help or referrals from she herself.

Sooo... Tuesday wasn't great. But luckily my week got better!
Wednesday night my man Jeff and I had my good friend Jen and her boyfriend Hank from Unbelievers over for a lovely vegan dinner! I made pasta with a pumpkin garlic sauce with fresh organic basil, onions, peppers and zucchini. It was a hit!

If you haven't checked out their new video, do it!!! It's awesome! (Look for me with the pink hair! )


After dinner we went to my favorite bar, Not My Dog, which is a tiny little hole in the wall, just a few doors down from my place, with awesome live music every night.
I had a seizure during this AWFUL comedian that was telling horrible chauvinistic jokes that NO ONE found funny. I gotta say; I was actually relieved to have lost consciousness for once! lol

So Wednesday night was great! Annnd so was Thursday! My roommate and one of my besties' band Wildheart. My mom came down to see the show, support the band and hang out for the evening. She had a blast! (My mom's the coolest) The band put on a wicked show and we all had fun.

Now on to Friday... On Friday The Madame of The Keyhole Sessions and I shot a short erotic film, in hopes of submitting to The Feminist Porn Awards. The Madame and I attended last year and saw some incredible erotic sorts, and we hope to be a part of it this year!

Here are a couple sneak peeks from our shoot


I can't wait to see the finished product!

In other newwws... I got an awesome gift from Gearhead78! Check it out!!!

This is 100 super awesome Star Wars postcards!!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!! It really brightened my day!!!
Here are some of my favorites:





Awesome right?!
Want one??? I'll send you one if you send me one!
Send me any of the postcards off of my POSTCARD WISHLIST and I'll send you one back!!!
*Just be sure to include your address when your order!

WANT A VALENTINE?! send me one and I'll return the favor!!!

Or, if you're feelin' extra sweet... my get well wishlist

Everybody loves mail, right?!

Well, that's all for now folks! Hope all is well out there in internetland

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

EDIT: I HAVE FIXED THE PEN PAL WISHLIST LINK!!!

Hey there all my lovely internet boyfriends and girlfriends!!!

Look who's been keeping up on her bliggady-bloggin'?! woo!

As most of you know, I have a sever seizure disorder, which keeps me house-bound when I am alone. (I seize 1-3 times every 2-3 days on average, and I live in a walk-up above a restaurant, on a busy street, so using the stairs or going out on my own would be too dangerous.)

Anywho, the reason I am saying this is because I am BORED AS HELL more days than not, and there are only so many hours a day I can spend lurking people in facebook and checkin' out nekkid ladies on here before going crosseyed. Sooo... I came up with an idea.
LET'S BE PEN PALS!!!
It's far more interesting than messaging online and everyone loves getting mail that isn't bills right?!
I love collecting pretty art postcards for my wall, so I have actually made a wishlist of just postcards (and valentines!!!!) I want. Here' the deal: if you send me one of the pretty cards off my wishlist, I'll send you back one of my own!!! Just make sure to include your address and I'll write you back! Yaaay!!!

So, here it is; MY PEN PAL PRETTY POSTCARD WISHLIST!!!
I have never used zazzle.com for a wishlist before, so I hope it works, but let me know if you've tried and it doesn't, so we can work it out

I hope I get some mail!!!

In other news... I was in another music video!!! This is one of my most beautiful friends' band UNBELIEVERS. They kick ass, and all of you should keep an eye out for them playing near you!!!

Check it out!!!

Me and my man Jeff have a pretty epic smooch in there, eh?!

Despite having a seizure during shooting it was a totally awesome night with tonnes of really rad people

Well, that is all for me my lovelies!

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

hello there internet boyfriends and girlfriends!

Today I added a new furry friend to my adoptive family!

Ever since I adopted Quintin 3 months ago I've been on the lookout for a pal for him that was up for adoption in my area. There is this WONDERFUL site called Petfinder, where you can search any and all adoptable pets in your area! (Can+US). They list everything from birds to reptiles, cats and dogs, even horses and barnyard animals! There are ALWAYS thousands of animals in need of new homes, so if you are ever considering a new pet, please go with adoption!



Anywho, I'd been looking for a male rat available in my area for the last couple months, and over the weekend 5 brothers suddenly became available.

Apparently all 5 had been rescued from a hoarder on Christmas eve. When I got to the shelter I was happy to hear that 2 had already been adopted I told them I was looking to adopt one and that he would be living with another rat. They were pleased to know he was going somewhere with another rat because the 5 seemed very sociable with one another and they did not want any adopted to be living solo. (They will adopt out the last 2 as a pair, like they did the other 2). I felt slightly sad I could not take him with his brothers, but I just don't have the room and supplies for all three.

So I brought him home and named him Rodriguez (or "Roddie" for short) and introduced him to Quintin. (Get it? Quintin [Tarantino] and [Robert] Rodriguez?! tee hee hee...)
He needed a bath desperately, so I gave him a tiny rat-sized bubble bath in the sink with vegan, biodegradable soap. He didn't seem to mind it at all!
Aside from one tiny scuffle this evening they seem to be getting along famously. I'm glad I could get Quintin some company and I hope Rodriguez is happy in his new home

So, without further adieu; here is Roddie! (He is the one on the left with the small grey smudge on his nose)



Yay!


In other news, my health is still quite poor, and I have been frequenting the hospital a lot for injuries from falling during seizures and complications with my seizure disorder. With the stress of the holidaze being over now I am feeling a bit better and having fewer seizures, but I am still having 1-3 every 2-3 days.

Since none of the medications they put me on seemed to have any positive affects, and I am allergic to the 2 most prescribed anti-seizure medications I have now been weened off all the anti-seizure medication I was on. This is a huge relief, as I was taking 12 pills a day at one point, while feeling the adverse affects of being tired all the time and gaining weight, but was not having any fewer seizures. At least now I am more alert and able to function a little better without getting exhausted so easily.

My neurologist, my family doctor and I are working on finding new treatment and therapy to help curb the seizing. I saw specialists in London a couple months ago where they did extensive testing and through a video-recorded EEG test, and found that I was having both epileptic and non-epileptic seizures. They diagnosed me as having a disorder called PNES, or psychogenic non-epileptic seizure disorder. This means that hopefully with some specialized therapy I might be able to have fewer of the psychogenic seizures down the road. Unfortunately the only neuro-psychologist who specialized in this particular disorder moved out of the country last month, but I am still searching and getting referrals to other specialists who may be able to help.

Anywho, enough stuff about my crazy brain.

I'll leave you guys with a couple photos now.

The first by the ever talented Elara Josephine Blair



This is a picture of my two kitties Spazzy and Sgt. Pepper that my friend Angus drew up for me!

Check out his art page HERE!!!!

I got said kitties tattooed on my tummy for my birthday back in October!

This was done my a fellow cat-lover friend of mine, Angie Fey. You can check out her work HERE!!!

And for my last photo I give you this;

The only upside to all the weight I've gained with the anti-seizure meds is BIGGER BOOBS!!! And who doesn't love THAT, amiright?!

Sooo, I am off for now.
If you ever wanna ask me a question, feel free to ask me anything on my formspring
Orrr... if you're feelin' extra sweet and perhaps decide to send me a lil' siezure-free surprise... here is my "feel better wishlist"
If you send me something, please include your address and I will send you back a postcard!

Love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my lovely internet boyfriends and girlfriends!!!

Hope everyone's holidaze were magical

my boyfriend got me all the best parts of the internet for Christmas;



Pretty cool eh?

A couple of months ago I got a new addition to my furry family. Meet Quintin!



He's pretty damned adorable isn't he?!

Anywho, I just wanted to drop by and let y'all know I'm still kickin'! 2012 was an especially hard year, but I have high hopes for 2013!!!

whoop whoop!!!

love love love,
nymph
xoxoxo

(*ps: my Get Well Wishlist If you send me a pressie, include your address and I'll send you back a postcard!)

Brand new bligaddy-blog.

Hey there my internet boyfriends and girlfriends.

So it has been a few months, and is time for an update.

I have some fantastic news:
As of 2 weeks ago I was finally approved for Ontario Social Assisstance. (This is along the same lines as what the States has as welfare.) This was a very long and arduous process with a lot of beaurocratic red tape and hurdles to surpass, but after 5 months I am finally recieving financial assistance, since I am unable to work due to my epilepsy.

This is my first step on the way to disability and I could not feel more blessed to be living in such an incredible country where assisstance to those in need is offered.

Although the amount I will be recieving monthly will be a challenge to budget while living in the most expensice city in Canada, it is still a massive weight off both mine and my family's shoulders. The greatest thing about my assisstance is that I will now have medical coverage for many of my numerous and VERY expensive medications. Until now I was paying nearly $600/month on medications, and this financial burden was resting solely on my parents, as I am still unfortunately in no condition to work.

So yay yay yaaay!!! I am one happy girl.

I am feeling good these days, but my health is still rather unpredictable. I went nearly 3 months without a seizure. Then, 3 weeks ago I had 4 seizures in 5 days and landed myself back in the hospital after a serious concussion during a seizure in my parents' bathroom, where I also punctured myself above my right eye with a pair of tweezers when I fell.

Luckily, despite how much it bled, the cut only required external sutchers, and I was left with a black eye and small, barely noticable scar.

Anywho, that is the current state of my health and progress for those of you who have been so sweet to keep me in your thoughs and have been asking about me.
Thank you so much for everyone for their love and support and pressies!!! You guys are amazing.


Okay, onto happier subjects...
My sister had her baby!!!

Introducing my perfect, beautiful little neice; Kathryn Elizabeth Sirek.
She could not be more perfect <3


She is 2.5 months old now and growing like a weed! Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I have ever seen and she smiles non stop


Unfortunately because of my condition I am not able to hold the baby while standing, or watch her on my own, but I don't mind cuddling with the little one on the floor or bed

And now: photo purge.

My ladyfriend and I at the Feminist Porn Awards



Behind the scenes at the American Hell video shoot for 'Zero'


And here is the video:

I play the ring girl


Modeling with The Keyhole Sessions











Modeling for A Flock Of Murder clothing + accessories (shot by the lovely Elara







Did an Easter cam show with Elara





And modeled at this year's Torture Garden for Kink Engineering and Ego Assassin!!!


(the latex fishnets were REALLY hard to get on!!!)





Sooo... that's what's been up with nymph these days.
Some good, some bad, but all very interesting.

Anywho, I'm off to the doctor's.

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

"I get it all the time
Bright eyes to bat and hide behind
But I know they're just for show, honey
Painful and just for show
Black rooms to babysit and white halls to pace and wait for it
And I know it's too slow, honey
Painful and real slow"


...I really just don't know where to go from here. I'm not sure how much more of this I can smile through.

I just feel like I'm living a ghost of my former life and it hurts so fucking much to watch it all dissolve around me. Everything I'd accomplished, everything I'd worked towards, all the effort I put into finding myself and my place in life that made me happiest was all time and effort lost in a virtual instant with that first seizure.

That first seizure and that first trip to the hospital and my life was changed. I lost my lisence, I lost my job, I lost my independence, I lost my health, and I lost everything I'd worked so hard on accomplishing.




I'm ineligible for EI (*that's unemployment benefits in Ontario) since my last job was contractual, and I cannot work because I am still having seizures and issues with my health and medication. Applying for disability if a lengthy and very drawn out process, and is generally denied at least once before appeal, and even from there can take over a year to recieve any sort of benefits or compensation.

Yesterday I was given one final blow... I was denied wellfare. Wellfare is the bottom tear left available for financial support and my last hope. The reason for my denial was that my parents set up a wedding fund for me shortly after I was born, and once I turned 18 the account was transfered under my name.

For my family and close friends they know that I have always dreamed of my wedding day. I have dreamt of the perfect backless cream-ivory silk dress that my mom and I would make together, I dreamt of deep purple bridesmaids dresses and beautiful orchids, I dreamt of having everyone I love celebrate with me, I dreamt of cute vegan cupcakes instead of wedding cake... I know it may sound silly and vain and superficial to some, but this is truly something I have dreamed about since I was a little girl and my mom would let me try on her beautiful veil...
This money was put aside by my parents when I was a baby to ensure they could help make their daughters dream one day come true. This is not my money. I did not earn it, I did not save it myself and I did not want it until it was to be used for what it was put aside for. But because this trust fund is under my name it is seen by the government of Canada as spendable assets.

My incredible parents have been so wonderful and so supportive in every way through this whole ordeal. My first hospital admission when everything changed was just 2 months after I had spent money I'd been saving up all summer for a 2 week trip accross Canada. and just a week after I had finished my Christmas shopping. My savings was minimal and shortly ran out. Since then my incredible parents have been paying my rent and food.
On top of all of this I am on so many numerous medications with the epilepsy now, in addition to my usual anti-psychotics that the cost of my medication alone is $400+ a month. My loving and concerned grandparents have taken on this cost for me, which I am unspeakably thankful for.
I feel just awful being such an incredible burden all on them, both emotionally and financially. My parents have been so incredibly strong and generous through it all and I feel like I have become such a burden to them.

With my sister's due date just 3 days away my mother had planned to retire to a part time position within her work, stepping down from full a time managerial position, and with solely my dad's income I simply cannot keep asking them to support me like this.


So... this is what it all comes down to...
Miid November I had my own 2 bedroom appartment in downtown Toronto, where I had dreamed of moving to since I was a teen.
I had an amazing job that I loved, I had a steady income, an awesome company vehicle and lived comfortably; even being able to save some money every month, being able to plan small trips with friends.
I had made it on my own at 24 years old and was genuinely proud of myself for everything I had made happen in my life.

Then, in one single day in that middle of November my life was changed.
I lost my lisence.
Which meant I lost my job.
Which meant I lost my independence.
All because I had suddenly and unexpectedly lost my good health.
And with this I lost everything I'd worked so hard on accomplishing.

...And now... iit looks as though if I want to continue having a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and to stay in the city where my friends are, where the doctors and specialists are who I need to see regularly, where there is sufficient public transit (my only means of transportation since my license was revoked with the diagnosis of epilepsy) , and where I have spent the last 3 years making a life for myself... I will have to give up something I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. Something I dreamed of after seeing for the very first time a photograph of the most beautiful bride ever, my mother, and had wished to one day look as beautiful and genuinely happy as she had that day.









I don't know why the universe has dealt me this hand, or where it will take me next. I feel like things just keep getting harder and harder and I just can't catch a break. I feel like I am slowly being defeated.

I know I have such incredible friends and the most LOVING and SUPPORTIVE parents imaginable, which is more than so many people can say. My friends and family have been my rock through all of this and I feel so blessed to be able to have them in my life. But... I just don't know if I am strong enough to take on any more pain and dissappointment and guilt and shame, and handle this feeling of helplessness in it all.
It is getting harder and harder with every new blow to continue smiling through it all, and to find the rays through the clouds... I wish I had the strength, I WANT to have the strength but after this newest development I can't help feeling like I am making no progress moving forward. I keep trying and trying and keep being pushed further back with new and harder obsticles.

I am really struggling with all of this and I hate knowing how hard this has been on my parents. They are so worried about my health and well being, and on top of that have to worry about covering my finances. I just don't know what to do...






----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I am feeling so defeated.
But I am not beat yet.
Although the rays through the clouds are dimmer than they may have ever been for me, there is always knowledge of the sun behind that ominous darkened sheet that seems to be all but consuming me right now.

I have found a roomate.
This not only splits my rent in half and provides some much needed financial releif, but it also has relieved a lot of personal anxiety concerning the possability of injuring myself in my home while having a seizure, with now one around to help or even know about it until I regain consciousness. I feel safer in my own home knowing someone is here in case of emergency.

The new roomie's name is Cody. I'd been posting on FB for the last 2 months that I was looking for a roomate and the message was passed along to him through a friend of a friend of a friend. He moved here from 16 hours north of Toronto, with nothing but a couple of bags and a guitar. We met a week ago when he came to see the place and immediately clicked. It was a total bromance in the making.

2 days later I had first and last month's rent cash in hand and he moved in. We've been getting along famously and I am so stoked to have lucked out on finding such a wicked roomate.



Aside from that good news my sister Danielle is only 3 days away from her expected due date.
The anticipation of meeting my new neice and just holding her and kissing her and getting to be present for her first week of life makes my heart feel like it might burst. I have never felt such a precious love like this before, and she has yet to even enter the world. Words cannot describe how much my love for my unborn neice has helped me power through these last few months. I can barely sleep I am so excited to get THE phone call saying it's time to make my way out to Windsor, Ontario!

3 Weeks ago my mother and I, along with our extended family and neighbours, threw Danielle a surprise baby shower. Before the party however, I needed to have my sister out of our parents' house so they could set up, so my sister and her husband had maternity photos done. My sister's first photoshoot!
I did her makeup for her (VERY NATURAL!, as she requested) and got to help pose her and Adam, along with making quick touch ups and suggestions in between shots. It was kinda need to be on the OTHER side the camera for once!

Anywho, when they had finished shooting Danielle and Adam the photographer took a couple quick snaps of me and my sis.
This is what resulted:

FOOD BABY vs. REAL BABY!!!!!!!!
(I had just eaten a huge chickpea and potato roti... the picture really doesn't do my carb-induced gut-baby justice)



And now to close this novel of a blog on a more positive note; here are a few other small rays that have managed to peak through the clouds during this hard time in my life and put a smile on my face:


Presents from my "get well wishlist"

Thank you so so SO much to those of you who have been thinking of me, and to be so generous as to send me these amazing gifts. I get so excited whenever I get a pick up notice from the post office and I want you guys to know it really means a lot to me that you'd do this for me. It's cheered me up to know there's people out there thinking of me

This is the documentary about Placebo that Pops1213 sent me, that I mentioned in my last blog. There was stuff in it I'd never known about the band before! It was a great watch




And a Mr. James Hutchison sent me two wonderful gifts!!!

This is a 20" plushie of a giant squid!!! I have a passion for learning about sea life and oceanic biodiversity (I could watch nothing but sea life documentaries about marine biology, underwater ecosystems and what lives within the unknown watery depths of our blue planet for the rest of my life and die happy )
Anywho, as suggested by the giant tattoo on my side one of my most favorite sea creatures is the giant squid. I love that I have one to cuddle now!!!


He also got me this awesome book of erotic photography. I am a lover of women's feet and legs and THIS book has some of the best!


I would love to send you guys back just a little somethingas a token of my appreciation for your lovely gifts, so PM me your mailing address if you're interested

My best friend Ghandy, who lives on the east coast, came to visit for a week last month, and it was so wonderful to see him, while I going through such a hard time.
He tattooed me while he was here too!


The tattoo is to commemorate my time so far with one of the coolest projects I've ever been involved with The Keyhole Sessions, which is an erotic life drawing class I have been modeling for for about a year and a half now.

If you wanna see more of Ghandy's awesome work go here.

Well... this was a long one. But I'm glad I got all of that off my chest.
Thanks again for all your well wishes

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

Hello my internet boyfriends and girlfriends.

I do not have the mindset to write an extensive blog at the moment, but I just wanted to convey a quick update to everyone out there in interwebland on my current health status and progress.

First of all, I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and well-wishes. This has been a very frightening and someewhat depressing time for me, and your encouragement and get-well gifts from my "get well wishlist" have been small rays of sunshine through the clouds I am navigating though at the moment.

A special thanks to Pops1231 for sending me a dvd of my favourite band!!! (I watched it today and LOVED it!!!)

These last few months since I got sick have been very hard.
I am working with my neurologist to find the suitible perscription and balanced dosage of anti seizure medication, in hopes of eliminating the grand mal episodes caused by scar tissue that has developed in my brain. We have yet to find a successful treatment, as I am still suffering from seizures and random, sudden losses of conciousness.

I was hospitalized again last Friday after having three consecutive 30-second seizures, without regaining conciousness in between. This was a first for me, and I also sustained some injuries from the fall.

On the brighter side of things I am trying to keep my head up and take things day by day. My biggest issue right now is money for rent and food, but one wonderful thing that happened this week was finding a roomate to move into my spare room. Cutting my rent in half will be a huge weight off my chest, even just having that one thing taken care of will make me feel better, so I am thankful for that.

In other "bright side" news my big sister is due to deliver her first child in 2.5 weeks!!! I am extatic to be an auntie and so eager to meet her!!! One good thing about being unemployed is that I will be able to stay with my sister for her first week with the baby to help with any and everything I cannot even explain how excited I am!!!

Anywho, that's the reader's digest version of my life as of late. Thank you all again so much for your continuous love and support; it is good to know I am being thought of

Hope everyone out there in the interweb is doing well.

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

Hello my internet boyfriends and girlfriends

didja miss me?


didja miss theeese?


Thank God for bewbs.

Time for an update.
It's a long one, so sit back...

About 2 months ago I had a seizure out of the blue. I suffered a severe concussion, with a black eye and busted lip to boot, from when my face decided to fight my hardwood floor.

I was taken to the hospital and after 2 looong days in ER and 3 morphine drips (little of either I remember) I was finally given a room.

Here is a great shot of the shiner I got from smashing my face into the floor.
I'm not winking, this was just how swollen I was...

That's my buddy Scotty in the background, being awesome.

On day 3 I had another seizure. They did a series of tests, (CT/CAT scans, iodized ink injections, MRIs, ect, ect, ect) and found scar tissue on my right medesial front lobe, which both the neurologist I saw at the hospital and the neuro surgeon I got a second opinion from both said would be probable cause for the seizures.

On the right in the yellow circle (which is actually the left part of my brain) you can see a well defined fold in the tissue with clear black outlining.
On the left in the red circle you can see it is much less defined, with more white puffiness. This is the scar tissue, which the neurologists believe is from fever-induced seizures I had as an infant. With cases like these, the seizures generally start occurring in your 20s and without medication will continue, which classifies me as epileptic.

They put me on an anti-seizure medication called dilanten, and on the 4th day I had another seizure, which lasted 5 minutes.
Most seizures generally last 1.5-2 minutes, and anything past 5 runs risk of potential brain damage. Luckily this was my only sezure longer than 3 minutes.

After 3 days on Dilanten they discharged me from the hospital. I had another seizure the following 2 days, and on my third day out of hospital I had the most painful headache I've ever experienced, that felt like my brain was swelling into my skull, and a high fever that kept rising. My mom FINALLY dragged my ass off the couch when it got to 102 degrees to take me to the hospital, and I had another seizure literally in the doorway.

My mom called an ambulance and I was rushed to emerge. When I got there they did blood work and found that the amount of Dilanten in my body had built to toxic levels, and I had basically involunerily overdosed on the drug. I was told that regular theraputic levels of dilanten when treating seizures are between 30-40, and the dilanten in my body had built up to 176.

For the next 2 days I was closely monitored as I detoxed off the Dilanten and finally started to feel better.
I was given a room on the third day and started another sting of tests, with bloodwork every 4 hours to check my dilanten levels (my veins were so collapsed by the end of my stay, I was a giant bruise.)

Thennn... I woke up on my 4th day in hospital number 2 with a horrible, burning, itchy rash over my ENTIRE body, from my neck to the tops of my feet. I literally looked like I had red scales tattooed on my entire body. My face was red and swollen to double it's size and my tongue was heavy. I called the nurses and they got the doctor to see me immediately.

I was told this looked like a delayed further allergic reaction to the dilanten, which lays dorment in the body until a week or more after the first dosage. The most horrible part of this was that my symptoms looked a lot like I may have developed something called Steven Johnson's Syndrome, where basically your skin develops a rash that blisters like 3rd degree burns and comes off in sheets. This enevitably leads to infection, which spreads due to the volume of open wounds, and is very life-threatening.


With this they wanted to rule out the seizures and illness being infection-induced, so I was again given another onslaught of tests, including a spinal tap, or "lumbar puncture". (Honestly; no where near as scary as everyone makes it out to be; my tattoo there hurt infinately more than the tap, and it was over in a matter of minutes)

They put me on a super-heavy dose of steroids to combat the reaction, and the next morning the rash was significantly better.

Following night I had another seizure , and was put on a different, less invasive epilepsy medication the next day.

SO. After my rash went away, they ruled out life-threatening infection and I went 72 hours without a seizure I was finally released a second time from the hospital. (Which, by the way, did NOT have much in the ways of vegan options, FYI lol)

Since my final discharge I have had 2 small, what they call "breakthrough seizures" (seizuring while medicated), while I work with my neurologist to get my new medication at the levels I need. I lost partial sight in my left eye after the first seizure, but am happy to say after my last optomitrist appointment, I have fully regained.

Unfortunately when you have a seizure, or are diagnosed with epilepsy your lisence is suspended. In my province it is 6 months minumum, from your last seizure, so I have had my lisence suspended. Living downtown in a big city wouldn't make this such a huge deal, except that my career depended on me driving across Southern Ontario to run all my Jager events.
So with no lisence, and suddenly becoming an insurance risk I was let go from my job. My job that I fucking loved and was so happy to have. I had something that was fun and exciting and challenging and fufilling and I've lost it, along with a lot of my independance, not being able to drive. This was definitely the hardest pill to swallow.

As of right now, I am not sure what the future hold for me, but 2012 has GOT to be better.
I am currently looking for a roomate (as being unemployed and paying for a 2-bedroom downtown can only last so long before my savings runs out). I am not sure what I am able to do in the ways of jobs yet, as I am still adjusting to medications, going to numerous appointments and generally trying to get better, but I am looking into registering for unemployment insurance, until I catch my bearings.

It's been a tough year, but I'm still standing. I have high hopes for 2012, as I get healthier and I am so excited to become an auntie in March

Anywho, that was the last 2 months or so for me. I hope all of yours were a little better!

Happy new year everyone <3

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo

ps:
my 2012 "Get Better" wishlist

Good evening all my internet boyfriends and girlfriends

After 2 straight months of Jagermeister events all over Southern Ontario from 'Back to School' to our biggest events of the year; Halloween, packed full of scheduling Jagerettes, booking hotels, ordering bottles, driving (sooo much driiiviiing...), paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and tons of parties at bars across the province I am FINALLY taking a weekend off.

I was supposed to have a housewarming/belated birthday party tomorrow night (I worked on my birthday last Saturday for the 4th year in a row doing Jager events) but I'm sick with a bad cold so I had to cancel I had bronchitis and an ear infection just a few weeks ago and I think with all the stress and lack of sleep from working so much these last two months I never really gave my body a chance to get healthy, so I am sick AGAIN.

Anywho, I am now lounging in bed with the kitties, watching FRIENDS and It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia (which I just recently discovered and btw fucking RULES) and taking intermitten naps, for the second day in a row. Despite the congestion, the caughing, the sore throat and ears and just general leaking from the face it feels really good to just REST.

Anywho, that's what's up with me, so I just thought I'd say a little hello to my SG lovers.

And now for some pictures...

My love Archie and I after working 2 days of Jager promo at the Saugeen Summer Nights festival in Ayton, Ontario



Here we are again with our friend Sabrina at Heavy TO, which Archie's man Matt played with Baptized in Blood. Our shifts ended just in time to see Rob Zombie!!!



We had band signings in "Jager World" at Heavy TO, which happened to be directly beside where I was running the Jagerettes out of, so I got to hang out beside the legendary Mr. Kerry King from Slayer. (I was pretty stoked)



New kittie!!! This is Sgt. Pepper. I adopted him from my cousin Sam. Sam just graduated from Ottawa University (which is in Eastern Ontario, for those of you non-Canucks) and her and her boyfriend drove across Canada to move out to Banff, Alberta. They couldn't take the cat with them in a car across the county, so I took in the little guy
He's only 1 and he's a little shit-disturber, but I love the little monster.



Old kittle. She hasn't left my side the last two days; I think she knows I'm sick. I love this little lady so fucking much.



The two of them get into little tiffs a lot, (mainly because Sgt. Pepper is a bratty little instigater) so I got them little bandana collars in red and dark blue. Now when they fight it's like an adorable little gang war!

The may wrastle every now and then, but waterbed naptime takes presidence over any differences. (I totally walked in on them cleaning each other the other day...they secretly love each other. Like brother and sister. It's adorable.)

Anywho, that's what's up in the world of nymph. Hope you all are doing well.

Love love love
nymph
xoxoxo