hello internet boyfriends and girlfriends.

Thank you all, as always, for all the love and support after my last blog.
This site has always been such a safe and positive outlet for me when I really need to get things off my chest. I fucking love you guys.

But enough of the blahs.
I need change. The big ones which will take a lot of work and self-discovery will hopefully be happening throughout the year, as I work on personal matters. In the meantime, I am working on the little things to make me feel better.

First thing's first:
NEW CAMERA!!!

Thanks to dogson, I now am the proud owner of a brand new Nikon Coolpix L22!!!


sexy lil' thing, ain't it?!
This baby is 12.0 megapixels which is LIGHTYEARS beyond my ancient 2.0mp cam I was working with before.

I owe 3 trillion great big THANK YOUs to dogson for buying me this beaut off my wishlist so I can take a camera out with me that I am not embarassed to be carrying around, not to mention actually takes good pictures!!! I fucking love my new camera

Aside from new camera...

new hair



...you can't really tell in these pics too well, but it's bright blue, purple and pink under a layer of really dark blue on top. I decided to pain-stakingly cobm out the birds nest it had become from teasing it so much lately, and straightened it for the first time in months.

new tattoos

anatomical heart on my lower back done by Hollywood at Paris Ink in Oakville, ON


pin up in the likeness of me on my right thigh by George at Seven Crowns Tattoos, where the lovely Vesta works!


new place!
...counting down the days (9!) until I move out of my parents' house, into the city!

new motto
"A heart that hurts is a heart that works"
This is a line from the song Bright Lights, by Placebo, off their new album 'Battle for the Sun'.
These words will eventually be written in script around the anatomical heart on my back, but I have so much tattoo work lined up for the summer I am unsure when I'll get around to it. (It's the reason I got the heart in the first place.) This song and particularly this line has really come to comfort me recently.


PLAY.

Things that I need:

new job.

Since I am moving out in just under 2 weeks I will naturally be leaving my part time job at my little music store in Ajax. I only work there 2 shifts a week, since modelling is my main source of income, but the extra paycheque every other week (although meager) were a nice bit of pocket money for the occasional night out.
I'm gunna miss my little store; I've really come to love it over the past 4 years.


new psychiatrist/psychologist

for those of you who read the last blog you know that I have been looking for someone to talk to and re-evaluate my conditions and medications, but I've been having a hard time getting in anywhere.
The good news is CAMH (centre for addiction and mental health) gave me a call back this week about on of my referrals, for an initial evaluation over the phone. They said they will let me know when something opens up for personality disorder treatments. *fingers crossed*

new way of thinking when I get too anxious/depressed/scared.

...this one's gunna take a while, but I'm workin on it.


I took a couple videos with my awesome new camera, but I can't figure out how to upload them... can someone who knows how please tell me?

A lot of you have been asking, after seeing the photos posted in the blog before last, if I do yoga. I'd love to get into it, but unfortunately I just don't have the time or money right now. The reason I am so flexable is because I did dance and competative cheerleading for many years, and have made an effort to keep up with my agility since I stopped both 4 years ago.
I have no idea why my back can bend like that though... lol

Anywho, it's nearly 3am and I have a 4 hour photoshoot tomorrow, so I really should try to get some shut eye.
I'll post again soon with tons more pics, cause I've taken a trillion with the new cam

And one final note; everyone and their dog should ask me questions on formspring. I don't know why, but I've become completely obsessed with this site. Lovers, haters, heart or ball-breakers; everyone. LOVE it.

fuckyeah.

You guys rock. Seriously.

love love love
nymph
xoxoxo