friday night. work. bored.

i have an overwhelming need for fun. i want to have some drinks and slide down snowy hills. wrestling would be good. maybe some dancing. i could go for some karaoke...

i'm having a party tomorrow night for the ladies. we're doing a stocking exchange and feast. we've been planing for this for a long time and i'm super stoked. but i want fun NOW.

this time of year gives me a buzz. last week i couldn't get to sleep before 6 AM! my body was so charged. i could feel myself humming. i lay there in bed thinking that i could levitate if i concentrated hard enough. problem was i couldn't. my thoughts were all over the place.

my stomach keeps flipping. but. i'm at work. bored.

i'm off in an hour. i'll go home and wrap presents and watch the Office or something....

and wait.

holy crap, it's been over a year since my last entry! i figured today would be a good time to start writing again since i put up a new set for consideration.

not too much has changed in the past year and a half... i'm still living in the same house, only now i have two amazing roommates and no more boyfriend. i've moved up to the attic and it's beautiful. i love life up here. i spend much of my time writing, painting, hanging with my pets (2 cats and a dog), and occasionally i invite friends up to play music or watch movies.

my ex and i are still good friends... sometimes more. we're figuring that out. but we share the dog and we love cooking together and playing Wii... which is what we're doing tonight. he's downstairs right now making a mexican feast for my roommates and i, from scratch! he bought a tortilla press and is broiling up some pork. it's going to be amazing. whenever a recipe calls for the "zest of a lime" you know it'll be good. then later this evening i'll build a fire and we'll all carve pumpkins, play Star Wars: the Force Unleashed, and make caramel apples.

so I'm teaching myself FLASH... and it's far easier than I thought. I'm probably doing everythng the longest, slowest way bu it's working. So now my school project could actually be more than theoretical. yessss! Over the next two weeks I'll be up late everynight but it's such an awesome learning experience. Finally, going to Emily Carr will pay off. It's crazy cause I did take a Flash/HTML class two years ago and the instructor was a joke. Not one person in the class walked away feeling like they learned anything useful. He gave Bs to everyone. I've learned more in one online tutorial... WASTE of money school can be.

Also, the sun has been out and it feels good. We've been spending so much time with our new doggy Sam... lots of walks and park visits. He is so damn cute! he cuddles with me every morning and stays up late with me. He's getting so much better on walks too... not dragging me around anymore. He brings alot of love to our home. ahh.

well i'm feeling better and today i definitely had a spring in my step. things at school are flowing along and i'm having alot of fun with all the ladies in my illustration class... we had a pretty great time today. one lady is pregnant and about to give birth at any moment! i kept saying "is your water going to brake now? how about NOW? riiiiiight NOW?" cute. also this last project we had to do was challenging and i was pretty sure i did a lame job but the instructor and everyone really dug what i brought in so that was nice. i hate needing validation but, well, i do. in order to become a better artist i think i need to get over that.

ok.. my dog Sam was just eating my razor! i am a horrible mother.

the set went up! niiiice. i'm sick right now so i won't say much. i got a new puppy/teen doggy. his name is Sam Elliott (after the actor who played Garr in the 1985 drama, "Mask") and he's an eskimo spitz and he enjoys toilet paper, ice cubes, belly rubs, and showing off his new teeth.... i love him lots.

i'm chilly and need my bed. other than being sick life is nice. my music/design project has evolved into something quite deifferent than what i originally intended but it's turning out ok. i'm designing interactive exhibits where the user can create music with colour. i just need to find someone who's real good with Flash... a FLASH-a-magician if you will.

hmm. k, now its time for bed.

time for an exciting update!

OK, so this year has been pretty great so far. I've been playing lots of music, jamming with friends and people I've never met... it all started when I needed some jams on tape for a music project I'm doing for school. I have decided that for my grad project I will art direct, shoot, and package a music video. I have a Super 8 and some good editor friends. Oh, and one kick ass concept! I'll sart shooting over the next few weeks but first I needed a good 3 minutes of usable jam. This is harder than expected. First problem; it alsways seems that the best moments in a jam happens when the tape has run out. Problem two; I guess when a jam really gets going and everything sounds amazing and the tape is going and its all working, someone feels the urge to start singing crazy lyrics and it kind of changes the mood. hmmm. As much as I enjoy songs about howling vampires who work the night shift or hornet gods I just don't see them fitting the concept I have for the video.

I'll keep trying.

mmmm i just woke up from a great sleep. i love great sleeps... i fell asleep fast and had fun dreams. and now, i finish my project, do my big presentation tomorrow, and then i'm done! no more school for a whole month! i can put up the christmas tree, clean the house, bake cookies, and watch movies... do nothing. i'm so excited to do nothing. that's all i ever used to do. i used to make enough money working part time to support myself, so i would spend the rest of my time smoking pot, doing photo shoots with friends, downloading music, and just generally lounging around my place all day. that does sound nice. but this is better... now i really appreciate time off.

i've been listening to the new tom waits and its really good. no surprise. it's a good balance of gruffness and warmth. perfect for the holiday season.

and last night we went to see For Your Consideration... the new christopher guest movie. very funny! a friend of mine wone 50 tickets so the atmosphere was festive. it was like a rockconcert... people drinking, throwing balloons around, making loud noises. i was going to start a popcorn fight but i was too hungry.

holy shit! i don't write in here to often... hmmm. lets see, what do i do often? oh yeah, work and school. this is my life. work and school over and over like Groundhog day. grrr but i'm not half as fun as bill murray. so it gets overwhelming. next week everything is due and i should be writing an essay right now.

yesterday i did a photoshoot and it was a blast. A part of me that is a true exhibitionist. I feel comfortable naked even when i'm fully aware of my imperfections. It's a good feeling, like i gain strength from being brave and getting over my insecurities. I used to think I posed nude so that I would get acceptance somehow, and maybe that's how it started... i don't know, that may always be a part of the reason. ultimately though, it just feels right.

The shoot looked fantastic! great props and set,,, I don't want to give anything away if it ends up here but it was messy... haha. i will say that milk makes my skin soft and my neighbours have seen too much.

k, i should go work on my stupid essay.

so i woke up at 5:55 this morning after dreaming about my ex boyfriend whos favortire number is 5. weird? not really. what was weird is that in my dream we where all friendly and cool with each other... I also dreamt that i made a fabric house with sea life embroidered all over it.

anyway, things in my life are going smooth. school is great! i'm taking a creative writing class and i love it. i'm also making a survival guide for women suffering from a Lupus flare-up. It should be very cool when i'm all done.

even better news... i'm going to mexico in two weeks! all inxclusive 5 star resort. i'm going to eat and eat and eat then drink and drink... you get the picture.

my body feels better these days. I stopped eating sugar and wheat. i don't drink coffee. I haven't been smoking in a long while. i swim three times a week and ride my bike. i'm in better shape now than when i was 20!

my only complaint is that i wish i had a private studio. I'm itching for privacy when I work.

well it was my 32nd birthday yesterday. holy sheeeeit. there's no way that can be right. really tho, when i woke up i felt like i was 80. my lupus has been flaring up super bad this past few days causing major joint pain. and i don't mean the good kind of joint. haha. my wit is aging with me.

the pain, which started in my ankles, knees, wrists, and shoulders, spread to my chest over night and that's a bad sign. so when i woke up dan took me to the doctors. as per usual, when i flare up this bad they put me on steroids. it's not often that it gets this bad so i'm real lucky. yay. i've been on steriods four times since my diagnosis over six years ago.

the steroids have some pretty fun side effects. some shitty, but some fun... like my OCD. i start to over-arrange everything in the house, like colour co-ordinating my closet or our meals.

i also clean like crazy, get horny, bake, and well, get shit done. on the down side... i have a super dry throat, it's harder to fall asleep and when i do, my dreams are super intense, and i get pretty sweaty and i stink (which doesn't go well with the horny part)

anyway.

went to the drugstore, got my roids,took a heavy duty sleeping pill and crashed for most of the day. people called and dropped by with baked goods and i have no idea what i said to anyone. i remember wishing MY DAD a happy birthday when he called. by early evening i was feeling dazed but soooo much better. i put on a spicy dress, pinned up my hair and put on make up for the first time in a month. we went for a cocktail and then to a fancy chinese resturant.

now i should be sleeping but i dont want to take another sleeping pill so i'll just have to give into the roids.

this explains my longer-than-usual entry.

tomorrow i go to the family picnic. my mother and i share our birthday, if you can believe it, and tomorrow we'll all get to listen to her describe in detail what happened on HER birthday 32 years ago.

i think i'll bring my guitar and sing Landslide.


see, my wit IS aging.