I'm in love with instagram. Follow me @nikdarling.

Here are some of my faves.. lots more on my profile!











































Hope everyone is happy and well.. Life is good on my end.
Can't wait for summer and festi season to get here.. So many big plans, and so much good music to see! Can't wait to start traveling again.. My gypsy spirit is getting restless.
<3Nik

time for another much needed picture update.
summer's come and gone... and as usual, i've been absent.. and for that i apologize.
i wish i had the patience to sit and write long wonderful blogs..
when i do get to the internet, i don't stay long.. especially in the summer, when i'm off traveling, or just outside living life... trying to take advantage of every experience, and squeeze everything i can out of this life.

i'm every bit the eccentric, elusive, mysterious aquarian.. even i think i'm an oddball, and not many people are on my level. i'm not much of a talker usually.. i'm a thinker and a dreamer.. my head's always in the clouds..
i'm not much of a blogger either...
anything i do find worthy of writing down, is written in personal journals, not to be shared with the world.
i'm a very personal person..
and maybe i like having that mysterious air about me that forces people to talk to me to get to know me.
pictures are worth a thousand words, so instead of words, i will give you tons of pictures.

we took a party bus to see bassnectar:











(thats about half our crew)
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went to colorado to visit my friend i'm (not so)secretly head over heels for:



not a very good picture, but i got to see shpongle for the first time!
and i visited the garden of the gods

























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went to various shows and festivals:
my boys of EP3:


one of the best bands hailing from ohio, The Werks:


my phamily, Boogie Matrix Mechanism:





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Spring Hookahville:







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saw Phish, 30 minutes from my hometown!





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went to my first ALL GOOD music fest!

furthur coming on at sunset


sunrise over the mountain, as the mist rises up the mountain to engulf us!


my fave artist, pretty lights, performing way too far away from me. =[


he broke out this awesome song, just for all good, held in west virginia:

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my favorite fest of the year, where most of my phamily was in attendence, SHAMYBASH:
late night, the first night, with some rumpke mountain boys. good ol' bluegrass!




the werks!


representing the werks! werk it!



hoopin to the macpodz.


emily and the lost cat ramblers

owners of the amazing 8 legged cat!



my best friend got engaged! her fiance, the artist smilin' joe, pulled her onstage and did it in front of everyone!





i made that teet my bitch.


best campsite at shamybash!
with the best late night camp fire jams:


got to see buckethead




and my best friend kara made her debut fire fan performance!

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made it to atlantic city a couple times:

























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went to atlanta to hang out with my boys from ep3, and caught a few shows down there
IDentity Fest

boom shocka locka

got right up front for rusko











me and my boy chuck, of Bitch Please! and ep3 right up front


from behind the stage, look for me in the front right.. turquoise hat.

got caught by Atlanta NightLife!




dj shadows amazing light show i couldn't even capture




and some random pics of me to end out this way too long blog.
i chopped off all my hair again:




rocking some crazy color every now and then (i <3 turquoise)


now... GET OUTTA MY BUBBLE!


peace and love always,
-nik

so, it's been almost 3 years since my last set... i think it's time to do one.

i am so excited about this.. this set will really be my own..
my best friend of 7 years is shooting it... and the location is one of the my favorite places.

now all we're waiting for is for it to be spring in ohio already!

i'm not one to talk a lot... so here's some pictures of what i've been up to since my last post! much more pictures in my albums! i had a great ending to 2010.. and a great beginning of 2011. every year of my life gets better and better.. i feel like i'm growing so much.. and so fast.. just loving life.








second place in the miss pole champ usa midwest regionals.







peace and love to all... thank you for the birthday wishes. i really appreciate it.

<3nik

ps... summer is almost here..

the older i get... the more comfortable i am in my own skin.











and here's some more pics of what i've been up to:























just loving life.

i have lots more pictures... but they're all trapped in my camera for now.
look for them soon.

i hope you are enjoying life.. may happiness find you every day, even in the smallest of ways.. keep on smiling, laughing, living.. life is a journey.. it is what you make it.

☮ <3 &

it's been too long again...
but this time, it's a good thing.
i've been so busy.. just living life to the fullest..

i know my last post wasn't a happy one... life had gotten rocky... and everything it seemed made me happy just fell out from under me...
but since then i can honestly say i'm now the happiest i've ever been... in my entire life.

i moved back to my home town... and for the first time in my life... i am enjoying total freedom.
freedom from a lot of financial issues i used to have... freedom in my love life...
for the first time in my life, i'm living entirely for myself.
i'm traveling all the time... i've met so many amazing people...
i've learned so much about myself, and i've grown so much, just in these past few months...
i can honestly say, all the bad stuff that happened to me, really made me better off.
for if none of it had happened... i wouldn't be where i am right now.
and instead of making me jaded, and untrusting... i've actually become an even better, more loving person.

toledo had a lot of ups and downs... i met a lot of great people, and some not so great (that i still love anyways). last sunday, a friend of mine was murdered up there, and i had to go back this past weekend for his funeral. it was bittersweet... i made ammends with all those who wronged me, and those i wronged... and got to see everyone together for the first time in months. we all got together in his honor, and had a blast, because we knew thats what he would want from us.

it made me realize that life is so short already, and at any moment, it can be taken away from you.
never take anything, or anyone for granted... they might not be there tomorrow... you might not be there tomorrow...

so i'm living life to the fullest... and taking advantage of every chance i get to see the people who matter to me...
and i'm going to try my hardest to be the best person i can be... so when i'm gone... i'll be remembered by my loved ones as someone who made a good difference in the lives of everyone i knew.

from now on... only smiles, laughing and good times... because we all know, the bad times never last forever... and soon the sun will be shinin' on you again.

i dedicate this blog to my friend casey.. who's life was cut too short at the age of 22.. by someone looking for change and cigarettes.. he was one of those people that brightened the room with his smile.. and would do anything to make you laugh when you were upset... he was a good person, even to those who didn't deserve it... and in his honor, i'm going to try to be more like that for the rest of my days.
RIP casey bucher. you'll never know how close i held you in my heart... or how much those daily bike rides meant to me... and how much i would give, just to jump on that mountain bike, and go for one more ride with you. you will be missed by so many... more than you would ever know. until we meet again my friend...


so... i have tons of pictures...
first... since the 'toledo' chapter of my life is over... i'm going to recap all my favorite moments, before moving on to my recent pics.
so here's to toledo.. the ups and downs... the good and the bad... i wouldnt change any of it for the world.

i have mandy, the ying to my yang... to thank for having such an amazing year.. i love her like my own sister, and i really think we were meant to be twins.



































my three favorite girls in the world.






tif, i'm sorry for everything that happened between us... i love you girl.. and always will.






my 22nd bday




















and from last weekend, when we were all together again in casey's honor.


we smile through our tears... because we know thats what you would want.



and now, for pics from my new chapter in life.
been going to atlantic city new jersey once a month..



shows and festivals galore!

























cheers to you casey... and every moment of happiness you gave those who knew you.

<3nik

wow. its been awhile SG. i'm sorry. i kind of lost sight of everything... even myself.

i've wasted the past year of my life looking for love... with the wrong person.
i've sacraficed and suffered so much... for nothing.
i was almost willing to give up everything... dancing, SG... he did not approve.
until he told me "it's not what you do, it's what you've done."
it is a job, and a hobby. and out in public, you would never guess my hidden side if you didnt know it already.
so, to him, thanks for wasting a year of my life when you knew all along it would never be.
thank you for judging me solely on stuff that has nothing to do with the person i am inside.
well i can't fix or change what you think is broken. i can't turn back time and undo what i've done.
and i wouldn't if i could. because YOU aren't worth it. and i see that now. just wish i would have seen it before i let you tear me down this much. you were so bad for me... but i loved you and i didnt see it. i wanted your love in return so badly..
but now, i just want to love myself again.

but hey, when you're at the bottom the only way to go is up.

at least i can look back and see my mistakes.
maybe i will learn from this.
i hope so.
i don't EVER want to play the fool again.

now, time to pick up the pieces of who i used to be... and try to bring that girl back.
so, i left toledo... and came home to my hometown for a month...
to be with my family and close friends who really know me, and accept me, and love me for the person i am... not for what i have or haven't done.
i'm starting to realize, that most people aren't good people.. maybe i should stop being so trusting and naive.
maybe i should keep a better eye on this heart of mine, and protect myself.
i don't want to be jaded. i want a kind soul. i want to treat people how i want to be treated.
i want only good thoughts, good vibes, and a positive attitude.
why do people find it so necessary to take advantage of the kind? since when is kindness a weakness?
i'm sick of lies, deception, manipulation... and no, it is not human nature, not everyone is like that.. because genuine people are out there.. they are just getting fewer and farther in between because of the people who use them, take advantage of them, and hurt them.

the sky is lightening up, and the sun is rising.
always a good thing to watch when you're starting over.
i'm going to hit this bowl as i watch the sun rise... and then i'm hitting the pillow.

i don't expect a lot of feedback on such a negative blog... but since i'm going to be back around SG after a break... i feel like i don't know how to start a new blog... especially since the last blog happened the last time he did this to me.. how to explain a new beginning, without first explaining the last ending?
i guess this blog is more for me... but now i'm back, and trying to be the girl i used to be... before i was all about making someone else happy.

xoxo
<3nik

things have changed so fast my head is spinning.
i don't have any explanations but i'm too busy smiling to even care at this point.
i'll figure it all out when my head catches up to my heart and my feet are planted firmly back on the ground.

i make horrible decisions.
if i could go back.. there is so much over the past 8 months i would change.
i wouldn't have a broken heart.. i wouldn't have hurt people i love..
i would have put more effort into getting back into school and getting out of the job i seem to be stuck in.

but you live and you learn... right?
it feels like i never learn. i'm repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

"cause all i want is here and now.. but it's already been and gone... our intentions always last that bit too long.."

but, on a lighter note... here are some of the moments over the past 8 months that i wouldn't give up for anything.











































cheers!

another sleepless night...
doing stuff i shouldn't be doing...
wishing i was in the last place i should be...
my body and my head will hate me later but right now it feels so worth it.

"my lifestyle is a wild life with style and by brain on drugs...
i won't stop until i'm numb.. telling myself the night is young."

i've lost sight of all the things i want in life... or maybe its just that i don't know what i want..
but i'm just waiting around... for what?
probably nothing.

i need to make something happen. soon.

i miss home... i miss the countryside of ohio... seeing the stars at night.
i miss everyone from my past..

if two shooting stars collided
they would hit each other
and embrace impact
those two stars
would hold onto each other
with a gravitation called love
and they'd burn
side-by-side
as one, forever.
even if the stars burn out
there will always be two pieces
of the greatest, most beautiful accident ever to happen
circling side-by-side
as one, forever.

will you be my shooting star?

<3