Thank you so much everyone for your beautiful and heartfelt condolances. Everyday I wake up alive I realize a little bit more that I can do this, I can make it, if not for anyone else for my sister. I'm not strong, but she is, and it helps me survive.
I want to write the story of everything, but right now I can't.

My life is slightly agonizing. I have a pre court meeting on Tuesday and court that following Friday. It's a case against my former best friend, I don't really know if it's appropriate to go into it before the case...so I'll just leave it at that. I have never done anything like this before and it's getting increasingly stressful to think about. I would normally have my sister giving me advice and helping me, now I just don't know what to do. I additionally have not left the house on my own yet, and will be starting classes that week as well. All things I'm trying to think past. Added to that I broke up with my boyfriend today (who recently has been my biggest form of support and shoulder/chest to cry on) because he lied to me and spent the night at his x-girlfriends, daughters mothers house. I found that out because he accidentally left his phone on when he hung up on me and I heard him mocking me to her, lamenting how obnoxious it was that I "really needed someone to talk to.", and remarking how he had missed calls from me but told me that he had none. This came from a man that held me when I was crying and said "It's okay, you are my everything." He even lied when I asked him about it on the phone, and continuously lied about being at her home. I guess this is all ridiculous, he's not worth me being in more pain over. I have much more complicated matters to imagine. Oh, but, after I informed him that I didn't really see him as a friend (responding to his remark "you're making a big mistake, you're just throwing away a friendship") he ended it on the note, "You're so fucked up it's unbelievable, I hope you die like your sister you fucking whore."

I think in this situation, I win.



I love her the most.
I need her, right now she's the only reason I'm surving.

I have no words. My heart is shattered. I wish I could write something beautiful and poetic but my poetry is gone and all I can see is my beautiful sister. I watched her bleed to death in Mexico and before she died she said my name. We were riding a scooter together when we crashed, she was driving, I was on the back. I was supposed to drive. That was supposed to be me.



She is mine, I need her.

One day I do believe that I'll be washing all this black out my hair
And from neath my nails all the darkness will wash out
And all the bugs from neath my skin will crawl out
And those little buggies will all sing out
Come out come out come out
Because the whole time they were the ones that kept me company
While I was dreaming away
Dreaming of something beautiful and untouched and clean
They were the ones that worked their way into the blood
And keep working till the blood ran to the brain
And they trickled all in
Like the rice my ancestors picked
Grains working in and hatching out dragonflies
Where the whole time I sang out Mercy Mercy Mercy
They added the less
Merciless
Which is what it all comes out to be
In the end when we're down on our knees
Working the grain and field and soil
The toil from the fall that grows the fruit
That rots away and works into the mush
The mush that works into the maggots that eventually become the flies
That work down into the skin and the blood and the body
And cry out in the end Holy Holy Holy
When at last they fly out and sing out
Free Free Free

Sometimes I think that I feel sad because I was never pretty,
But to be honest, I've always been pretty
It's just that no one knew but me.

Love always,
Myrtle

I seem to be disappearing.
But.
You see.
I'm not all gone as of yet.

I'm stealing internet, so you might not catch too many glimpses of my little self.
I live in a condo on a lake. I feed ducks. I sleep all day.
I desperatly need a job.
But I eat well.
I did a set with a friend a while back. I'd like to submit it, buttttt, it seems that acceptance now is only begotten through posting in Hopefuls...right?
I don't want to do that, that's not why I joined this site.
So maybe I'll post some of my favorites up here for your enjoyment.
Love,
Myrtle

lol money
Do it
You'll love it

KILLPOLICE.COM!!!!!

Mother fucking great.

I'm going to go cry now.

Fucking shit fuck.
Fuck
You know what? I had a fucking meaningful update.
And then muther fuckin internet rapes me
Fuck shit balls


Bring me drugs.
Fuck that.
I'll get them myself.



I like this picture, I'll post it as much as I want.

I'm an owl.
I'm a-live.
I'm living a-life.
I'm staying a-live
In my life
living
hoot hoot hoot

P.s.-My birthday was fan-tastic, filled with hangovers and withdrawls and all that good shit that makes things worth it. also, I love my soul friend more than life, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever met and probably the most bad ass. Who else can you bond with as you frantically wash plastic bags in a 30 dollar hotel room? Who else?
Also, my girlfriend is amazingly hot, and she has some really beautiful tits. Too bad I eat them and you guys don't, and that she's slightly camera shy, because she would rock the Suicide Girl world (because you know those big tittie girls are the ones making the muhney)

But now that I'm 21 and homeless I'm free to party, invite me, especially my florida loveeeers, get drunk with me, in public, I have all the time in world.

Oh geeze
Break break break
it up
Break
It
Break.

The background of my life
"dammmmnnn dammn dude, your body like, went flying"

I think that's a summation of the events.

Love,
Your little hoot hoot.

Uhm.
Life
Oh geeze
Life
Oh geeze.
Explosion.....

Watch out it's a plluuugggggg:

****You see you see you see, it has come to my attention that I must procure some funding so as to make it to the great ole Californ-ia.

So I thought I would sell things, and what else would a naked internet girl sell but....
Panties?

See though, I figured I would most definantly make it more interesting than just panties darlings.
I mean first, I would wear them, and then take a polaroid of me in said panties in some place that I think is beautiful or exciting. I'll send you a package with said polaroid, panties, annnnnnnnddddd (this is the good part) a handwritten story about forementioned place or panties, or just something interesting I thought of, real or fake I'll try to make sure that it's a gem.

And how much you ask?
I'll say....$20, including shipping and all, tell your friends hunnies.
I think it will be a gift that will last you a lifetime , and a great surprise as this little trinket will show up in your mail one day as a picture that you've never seen, with a story you've never read, with panties you've never worn ( and maybe some other little trinket I see interesting lying about.)

Send me to California dahhlllssss.

Just PM me with your name, address, and if you want a personalized message on said panties (I may just personalize them anyways) and I'll take the polariod and ship out the package just as soon as I'm able.
Oh yeah....I suppose I need some kind of paypal system? I'll set that up as soon as I can get the tech savy girlfriend to help.
Oh yes, and if anyone at all is looking to purchase the lovely Dolce and Gabbana high waisted panties that I sported in debut set I'll sell you those for 15, it's a steal babies, those are the genuine Dolce, trashy as fuck and good at parties, you want a polaroid and a story with those (that would be quite the story) then make it 20 and you've got yourself a deal!

Jump on this cupcake, it will be a ride for us all.****

Okay dearies, let me give you an update on life as of now: As of yesterday I was called up into the head boss man's office, and subsequently fired for allegations of me smoking some of that weed stuff in the home I was living in (was), me, my girlfriend and one of my roomates were all taken into said boss man's room with three other supervisors and forced into admiting to using illegal substances. Don't worry hunnies, there's a lot more drama behind this seeing as they not only fired us from our jobs (two of us ending our pay right then and there) but they also forced us to vacate our home (where all of our worldly possesions are) in less than two hours, subsequently leaving us all jobless and homeless. Soooooo, as of right now I'm in some dire crunch for not only monies with which to buy food (I've got my canned goods from the house but that's about it) but also places for lodging. I AM most certaintly getting legal counsel for this situation (as much free legal counsel as I can procure), but in the meantime I'm homeless (as I'm not prepared to move back in with my parents) and traveling. We're heading down south to the keys after cleaning out our cars and selling whatever we don't need, and procuring enough money to fix up one of the cars enough to drive down to the keys, and back up to wherever we need to go. So, this is scattered, I'm sorry, my brain is still processing all of the events that took place over the past 15 or so hours and I'm trying to decide on what actions need to be taken so that I can secure some kind of severence package (at least) for me and my comrades and where we're going to go/how we're going to get there/how we're going to get money. If any of you have requested my underwear stories I'm still sending those out, I'll pm you with the paypal account detaills ASAP.
uhm
I can't think.
That's all.
Sorry for the lack of photographs, pictures ensue as I get on my own computer and can upload pictures from there (from some internet caffe?)
Oh, I almost forgot, if there are any Suicide Girls willing to house me, my girlfriend, her small dog and my roomate for a day or so (or just want a visit) pm me with phone numbers and the like and I might be able to stop by (all depending on where we end up, it's the keys first though so South FLa girls hit me up).
-little lousy Myrtle