Okay guys... I'm back. For a week.

Stellaris was so nice to write that last message and she was very polite.

I've had a bottle of wine so I don't care.
Here's the message I wrote to Tuffy lately... Since I'm too lazy to rewrite it.

Long story short.

Five weeks ago, Myra went into her new apt, sat down in the bathtub, took a razorblade, missed her artery, accepted the fact that she's even too stupid to kill herself and went to the madhouse until last Monday. Her roommate is superstitious and didn't want to set foot in that apt again and cancelled the lease contract.

Myra couldn't pay for the apt alone, lost it and currently lives in her aunt's guest room in the most outer part of Hamburg while she still has to pay the rent for her apt (that she shared with her ex) and the new one (with the superstitious friend that cancellled the contract). She has to go back to the hospital for a few weeks by the 29th.


To everyone who ordered prints: I have no idea where they are. My family has packed my apartment and there was something I ordered and didn't receive. I guess it was the prints. I have a big bill to pay, never received said prints and don't really know what to do.

So yeah. Please write me what you sent to me and I'll refund you as soon as I got the money. Thanks anyway for trusting me. As you can see, I wasn't worth it.

I'm sorry I can't give you anything nicer to read. Don't believe me? I'll send you pics of the scars. Too stupid for the Harakiri and still stupid enough to trust people I shouldn't. Story of my life, that is.

Fuck.

hi, this is stellaris.

Myra won´t be online in the next days/weeks as she is in hospital. she is ok, so dont worry. to all the people that ordered prints:

Myra is sorry that she couldnt send them out yet but she will take care of it when she is back!

When you're drunk, the most stupid things make you laugh..

I throw everything in the biggest bag I have and get on my way to the races again. Watching Sylvia Saint having a great time on my Laptop and watching the nuns in the row in front of me eating cake, having a good time, too. An incorrectly set alarm keeps me from getting up on time on Saturday, so it takes a while until I feel awake. Picture time. Blowing kisses to guys whom are used to silicone dollies in tight spandex bikinis. Sitting around, waiting for interesting pictures to take.



Later Cologne. Oh my. Pink junk, fondly organised, Kölsch with Limbofish, driving in the back of a truck, a weird beer garden called "Underground", loads of all made-up emo kiddies and other weirdos, drunken smooches, beer and Tequila, sitting on the street with Fraise and insulting passers-by. Coming to the conclusion that we're better than most people in Cologne.
Hanging out with a band I didn't know the name of, drinking, being embarassing and having fun. Being told later that the guys were from a band I like mucho and even paid for to see a few years ago. Too late to get all star-struck now, good. Being chatted up by a guy, drinking his Gin-Tonic, too drunk to realise I hate that stuff. Later finding out he's from another band I know.
Everyone's gone by now, only Fraise, Stellaris and I remain. More beer and Tequila. More smooches. Getting into the cab, the sun is up, the birds are singing. Sleeping at allcatsaregrey's place, holding hands with Stellaris, next to Fraise.

Pics from Fraise's camera:











Getting up an hour later. Still drunk as hell, hangover already coming up. Popping painkillers like smarties, getting to the location. Pink, pink, weird, fun. Make-Up, glitter, glamour. Fraise reminding me of Manko, Stellaris in 50's Make-Up, blue eyes and a lucha mask for me. Wrestling Fraise over an oversized stuffed tampon, my womb becoming gastrointestinal organs becoming a womb again. Blur, blur. Couscous salad and mint sauce for breakfast. People lurking in front of the house, creeping me out.






























Stolen from Mimmi:




I'm not even sure how I got to the train station to catch the EC train to Hamburg. Sleeping and perspiring tequila. Waking up again to realise we've come to a halt. Outside hell broke loose. Rainstorms, thunder and bolts of lighting. We've hit a tree (which had fallen down on the rails) and nearly derailed. I didn't notice.
Half an hour later the sun comes out again but we're still standing there. A few outlaws including me choose to open up a smoker's cabin on the train. Twenty minutes later even the personnel comes in for a cigarette. Someone buys a crate of beer in the restaurant with his business credit card. The smell sends my insides into an uproar. I go take another nap.





Three hours later I'm home to sleep for 13 hours on end.
Everything is falling apart again.

Sprüche des Tages / Lines of the day:

Das Leben ist die Faust in meinem Arsch, aber ohne Vaseline./ Life is the fist in my ass, but without Vaseline.
Ich hab bei Ebay geguckt, aber da war kein tolles neues Leben im Angebot / I looked on Ebay, but there were no cool lives for sale.

Tomorrow I'll skip school to go swimming with my friend. We'll act as if we're doing sports and get drunk afterwards. She's the only person I want to have next to me when my life is in pieces.





Plus, I stole this from Tuffy:

You type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.

Then, using only the first page, pick an image.

Then, copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into this
mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

Mine looks like this:

Okay, that last update was a bit cryptic, I know.

I had my first studio shoot as a photographer today. It was amazing! The lights were already set up, perfect. The model was a dream come true, one of the most professional ones I've ever met. The pictures came out fantastic.

I was about to upload one just a few minutes ago until I noticed that this may not be the best site to show pictures of a 5-year-old girl.

Sometimes I really forget that this is a porn site.

I'll upload at least one to my Deviantart site later.

Until then, watch me pose *cough* for the setting-up of the boy's lights at the studio.







I'm such a professional.

Yesterday I didn't know what to do.
Today I have a plan.

I just love when the wall around my thoughts vanishes and everything becomes clear.

Proper update coming soon. It's just that my clock says it's 6:38am and I can't think straight. And I have a shoot to prepare.

See you!

Please check out this thread to see what I mean.