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I am so made of fail that today I managed to spill gasoline on my favorite pair of cons.
But in good news, I have discovered a new favorite beer: Lagunitas Censored Copper Ale. It is yummy.
In other other news, I am considering signing up for AmeriCorps in Atlanta. I cannot decide whether this is the best decision or not. On one hand, it would be a great experience, would probably look great on my resume, and would allow me to help my community while getting paid. On the other hand, the stipend they provide is pretty damn teeny and I'd be committed for ten months to a year. Then again, I could easily be frugal with my money and make it on their stipend, especially if I took a second part-time job, and I think it would be a really incredible experience.
It's worth looking into, at least!
But in good news, I have discovered a new favorite beer: Lagunitas Censored Copper Ale. It is yummy.
In other other news, I am considering signing up for AmeriCorps in Atlanta. I cannot decide whether this is the best decision or not. On one hand, it would be a great experience, would probably look great on my resume, and would allow me to help my community while getting paid. On the other hand, the stipend they provide is pretty damn teeny and I'd be committed for ten months to a year. Then again, I could easily be frugal with my money and make it on their stipend, especially if I took a second part-time job, and I think it would be a really incredible experience.
It's worth looking into, at least!
Edit: Since a couple of people have already done so, if you want, post a video here that always makes you either sad or happy. Either way, I'm happy to see what you've got!
Okay, speaking of breakups sucking:
It's a really, really bad idea to watch Buffy/Angel related episodes of Buffy (or Angel) when you know that most of them will make you cry. Especially just after a breakup.
This comes from my stupid decision to watch "I Will Remember You" (Angel Season 1) today. With that lesson learned, I will not be watching any sad Buffy episodes for awhile now, especially not if they come from season 2.
Though, on a positive note, I've just gotta say this. I just spent some time going through my testimonials, some of my old journal entries, and other old SG memories, and even though it sounds weird to say this on an Internet porn site, I have had so much support, friendship, opportunity and fun through SG over the years I can't even begin to describe it. From when I started posting and modeling here until just now, I could make a huge list of all the interesting or touching or just plain awesome things that have happened because I've been on this site. Despite all the changes over the years and all the criticism people may heap on SG, as a social website it really has impacted my life and helped me create all kinds of great memories, and I'm glad of that.
Plus there's been some hilarious drama that's fun to look back on!
Okay, speaking of breakups sucking:
It's a really, really bad idea to watch Buffy/Angel related episodes of Buffy (or Angel) when you know that most of them will make you cry. Especially just after a breakup.
This comes from my stupid decision to watch "I Will Remember You" (Angel Season 1) today. With that lesson learned, I will not be watching any sad Buffy episodes for awhile now, especially not if they come from season 2.
Though, on a positive note, I've just gotta say this. I just spent some time going through my testimonials, some of my old journal entries, and other old SG memories, and even though it sounds weird to say this on an Internet porn site, I have had so much support, friendship, opportunity and fun through SG over the years I can't even begin to describe it. From when I started posting and modeling here until just now, I could make a huge list of all the interesting or touching or just plain awesome things that have happened because I've been on this site. Despite all the changes over the years and all the criticism people may heap on SG, as a social website it really has impacted my life and helped me create all kinds of great memories, and I'm glad of that.
Plus there's been some hilarious drama that's fun to look back on!
Breakups really, really suck/are lame.
That's my thought/two cents for the day.
P.S. JDM is back! For those of you who have any idea what I'm talking about, get on the boards and join the party!
That's my thought/two cents for the day.
P.S. JDM is back! For those of you who have any idea what I'm talking about, get on the boards and join the party!
Thanks are owed to the lovely Cairo (who I miss muchly!) for the link to this interesting and well written article:
The Burden Of Proof Lies On You, The Pro-Lifer. I can't even state in words how much I agree with this article. I so often hear pro-lifers argue that women should "just give it up for adoption if you don't want the baby", as if it's that easy. As if there pregnancy doesn't cause a drastic change in one's lifestyle. It makes absolutely no sense to insist that going through nine months of pregnancy, which at the very least would require the woman to miss work for some period of time and could involve severe complications, is not a big deal.
From the article:
"What I'm tired of is arguing with people who claim that it's "only" pregnancy as if it's a cakewalk for every woman; yet these same people haven't taken the time to thoroughly research the facts and implications of what they are supporting. You want all women to endure the short- and long-term side effects and risks of pregnancy, but you don't want to know what those side effects and risks are? You want women to "just" give up their babies for adoption, yet you haven't done the research on the state of adoption in this country? You think it's fair to demand the lives and bodies of these women, but it's too much trouble to try to understand the scope of what you are demanding?"
The Burden Of Proof Lies On You, The Pro-Lifer. I can't even state in words how much I agree with this article. I so often hear pro-lifers argue that women should "just give it up for adoption if you don't want the baby", as if it's that easy. As if there pregnancy doesn't cause a drastic change in one's lifestyle. It makes absolutely no sense to insist that going through nine months of pregnancy, which at the very least would require the woman to miss work for some period of time and could involve severe complications, is not a big deal.
From the article:
"What I'm tired of is arguing with people who claim that it's "only" pregnancy as if it's a cakewalk for every woman; yet these same people haven't taken the time to thoroughly research the facts and implications of what they are supporting. You want all women to endure the short- and long-term side effects and risks of pregnancy, but you don't want to know what those side effects and risks are? You want women to "just" give up their babies for adoption, yet you haven't done the research on the state of adoption in this country? You think it's fair to demand the lives and bodies of these women, but it's too much trouble to try to understand the scope of what you are demanding?"
The job searching is already driving me slowly crazy.
When I think about how I feel about the breakup, I keep coming back to this one song by Joanna Newsome, Sadie. To me this whole song seems to be about how nothing is permanent, but in this really beautiful, accepting way. It comforts me to listen to it and makes me incredibly sad at the same time. Enjoy some lyrics:
Sadie, white coat
carry me home.
Bury this bone and take this pinecone.
Bury this bone to gnaw on it later; gnawing on the telephone.
'Till then, we pray & suspend
the notion that these lives do never end.
And all day long we talk about mercy:
lead me to water lord, I sure am thirsty.
Down in the ditch where I nearly served you,
up in the clouds where he almost heard you
And all that we built, and all that we breathed, and all that we spilt, or pulled up like weeds
is piled up in back
and it burns irrevocably.
(we spoke up in turns,
'till the silence crept over me)
Bless you
and I deeply do
no longer resolute and I call to you
But the water got so cold,
and you do lose what you don't hold.
This is an old song,
these are old blues,
and his is not my tune,
but it's mine to use.
And the seabirds where the fear once grew
will flock with a fury,
and they will bury what'd come for you
Down where I darn with the milk-eyed mender
you and I, and a love so tender
is stretched-on the hoop where I stitch-this adage:
"Bless this house and its heart so savage."
And all that I want,
and all that I need
and all that I've got
is scattered like seed.
And all that I knew
is moving away from me.
(and all that I know
is blowing like tumbleweed)
And the mealy worms in the brine will burn
in a salty pyre, among the fauns and ferns.
And the love we hold, and the love we spurn,
will never grow cold
only taciturn.
And I'll tell you tomorrow.
Sadie, go on home now.
And bless those who've sickened below;
bless us who've chosen so.
And all that I've got
and all that I need
I tie in a knot
that I lay at your feet.
And I have not forgot,
but a silence crept over me.
(So dig up your bone,
exhume your pinecone, my sadie)
When I think about how I feel about the breakup, I keep coming back to this one song by Joanna Newsome, Sadie. To me this whole song seems to be about how nothing is permanent, but in this really beautiful, accepting way. It comforts me to listen to it and makes me incredibly sad at the same time. Enjoy some lyrics:
Sadie, white coat
carry me home.
Bury this bone and take this pinecone.
Bury this bone to gnaw on it later; gnawing on the telephone.
'Till then, we pray & suspend
the notion that these lives do never end.
And all day long we talk about mercy:
lead me to water lord, I sure am thirsty.
Down in the ditch where I nearly served you,
up in the clouds where he almost heard you
And all that we built, and all that we breathed, and all that we spilt, or pulled up like weeds
is piled up in back
and it burns irrevocably.
(we spoke up in turns,
'till the silence crept over me)
Bless you
and I deeply do
no longer resolute and I call to you
But the water got so cold,
and you do lose what you don't hold.
This is an old song,
these are old blues,
and his is not my tune,
but it's mine to use.
And the seabirds where the fear once grew
will flock with a fury,
and they will bury what'd come for you
Down where I darn with the milk-eyed mender
you and I, and a love so tender
is stretched-on the hoop where I stitch-this adage:
"Bless this house and its heart so savage."
And all that I want,
and all that I need
and all that I've got
is scattered like seed.
And all that I knew
is moving away from me.
(and all that I know
is blowing like tumbleweed)
And the mealy worms in the brine will burn
in a salty pyre, among the fauns and ferns.
And the love we hold, and the love we spurn,
will never grow cold
only taciturn.
And I'll tell you tomorrow.
Sadie, go on home now.
And bless those who've sickened below;
bless us who've chosen so.
And all that I've got
and all that I need
I tie in a knot
that I lay at your feet.
And I have not forgot,
but a silence crept over me.
(So dig up your bone,
exhume your pinecone, my sadie)
Okay, everyone, I've got a fairly simple favor to ask:
Please to be linking me to your favorite job-search websites. In the past Monster.com has been really useless to me, and I've had some luck with craigslist, but I feel like that's always been kind of a fluke thing. So, if you know of any job searching sites that have worked for you, let me at 'em!
Thanks in advance! Now that I've gotten some fairly good leads with the headache-inducing apartment searching, it's on to the even MORE headache-inducing job search!
Please to be linking me to your favorite job-search websites. In the past Monster.com has been really useless to me, and I've had some luck with craigslist, but I feel like that's always been kind of a fluke thing. So, if you know of any job searching sites that have worked for you, let me at 'em!
Thanks in advance! Now that I've gotten some fairly good leads with the headache-inducing apartment searching, it's on to the even MORE headache-inducing job search!
Hooray, finally got my driver's license renewed and reissued! I can drive again! Doesn't do me much good since I don't have a car, but still.
Despite how much apartment hunting has been frying my brain (I think it actually gave me a headache yesterday) I've found about five really good leads and about five more possibilities, and that makes me happy. It's sad to think that I had go to through hundreds of ads to find most of those leads, but still. It's work and it's paid off, so far.
Now all I have to do is find a job! And move to Atlanta. And decide on an apartment. And move into that apartment. And make sure I have enough money for first months rent and deposits and all that, plus money to live on for the first couple of weeks of whatever job I get.
Okay, now I have a headache again.
Despite how much apartment hunting has been frying my brain (I think it actually gave me a headache yesterday) I've found about five really good leads and about five more possibilities, and that makes me happy. It's sad to think that I had go to through hundreds of ads to find most of those leads, but still. It's work and it's paid off, so far.
Now all I have to do is find a job! And move to Atlanta. And decide on an apartment. And move into that apartment. And make sure I have enough money for first months rent and deposits and all that, plus money to live on for the first couple of weeks of whatever job I get.
Okay, now I have a headache again.
I've been apartment and job searching (focusing on Atlanta) since 11am today.
If you listen closely, you can actually hear my brain frying.
If you listen closely, you can actually hear my brain frying.
Edit: figured I should actually post something substansive. I've been lost in a book all day (Robin McKinley's "A Knot in the Grain" all day long, and have finally re-emerged into the world of the Conscious of Anything But Books.
After spending awhile at my Mom's place out in the country (with no real Internet connection to speak of, it connects at about 20k!) I'm back at my Dad's place for a couple of days so that I can be more serious about searching for jobs and places to live, since there's a good Internet connection at his place. So this week is going to be all about job searching, and also renewing my driver's license and other things that I need to do prepare for moving.
Wherever it is I'm moving to. Right now it looks like my top choices go like this:
1. Moving to Atlanta
2. Staying in Charlottesville
3. Very unlikely, but worth mentioning: D.C.
The choices go in that order, as well. It's terrifying no matter what because I'll be moving with less than a thousand dollars to my name and no matter where I go I'm going to be building a life for myself from scratch. But if I do it, and do it well, I'll be very, very proud of myself.
Wish me luck on job-searching.
As far as everything else goes: no medications as of yet, I haven't been able to find a doctor that I can see that's willing to prescribe anxiety medications. I'm still working on that. I'm sad, of course, and need to cry like a baby every once in awhile (or to choke back tears, I do that about once a day) but I'm not falling apart, and that is a huge improvement over how I've reacted to prior breakups. As much as I'd love to fall off the face of the Earth for a week or two and just spend all my time either crying or reading, I can't, and knowing that I can't is keeping me sane. That and seeing old friends again who I had really missed (without realizing it) and seeing my folks again.
In other news, The Dark Night was amazing and Watchmen needs to come out immediately.
After spending awhile at my Mom's place out in the country (with no real Internet connection to speak of, it connects at about 20k!) I'm back at my Dad's place for a couple of days so that I can be more serious about searching for jobs and places to live, since there's a good Internet connection at his place. So this week is going to be all about job searching, and also renewing my driver's license and other things that I need to do prepare for moving.
Wherever it is I'm moving to. Right now it looks like my top choices go like this:
1. Moving to Atlanta
2. Staying in Charlottesville
3. Very unlikely, but worth mentioning: D.C.
The choices go in that order, as well. It's terrifying no matter what because I'll be moving with less than a thousand dollars to my name and no matter where I go I'm going to be building a life for myself from scratch. But if I do it, and do it well, I'll be very, very proud of myself.
Wish me luck on job-searching.
As far as everything else goes: no medications as of yet, I haven't been able to find a doctor that I can see that's willing to prescribe anxiety medications. I'm still working on that. I'm sad, of course, and need to cry like a baby every once in awhile (or to choke back tears, I do that about once a day) but I'm not falling apart, and that is a huge improvement over how I've reacted to prior breakups. As much as I'd love to fall off the face of the Earth for a week or two and just spend all my time either crying or reading, I can't, and knowing that I can't is keeping me sane. That and seeing old friends again who I had really missed (without realizing it) and seeing my folks again.
In other news, The Dark Night was amazing and Watchmen needs to come out immediately.
