PICS
***EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING FOR THE LINK CONTAINED IN THIS ENTRY.***
Honestly, it's probably not worth clicking. Plus you'll be taken to Reddit, one of the worst places on the internet.
So today on the feminist blogosphere, I've seen many articles about this thread on reddit (I feel dirty having just opened up the link in order to get the URL), in which a bunch of people who have raped in the past talk about...well, raping people. Apparently one of the worst/most disturbing posters in the thread is a guy who confesses to being a serial rapist and to purposely manipulating his wife away from anyone who would tell her about his past. I don't know many details, as that is a thread I'm just not willing to read. Because I participate in a lot of feminist forums I tend to see a lot of creepy rationalizations and rape apologia, but reading a bunch of confessed rapists discuss their crimes, apparently some pretty gleefully, would probably break me.
Though I will say it could be a useful tool: a bunch of people talking about raping people and some of them patting each other on the back about it would do a nifty job of illustrating rape culture.
Anyway. Obviously the general reaction I've seen has been one of outright disgust and horror. But on a couple of the blogs I follow, I've seen people say that the few people in the Reddit thread discussing how terrible they now feel about having raped someone in the past gives them hope, because it shows that people can change. Maybe it's my cynicism and slight misanthropy showing, but all I could do when I saw those kinds of posts is scoff. And honestly, that makes me feel a bit guilty. Here's the main reasons why:
1. I just honestly don't believe that someone who did that to another human being COULD change significantly enough for me to feel some kind of hope for humanity. To me, violating another person like that says something central about your character, and my irrational self says that central characteristic is immutable. It feels cynical, though, to simply not believe in the possibility of redemption for some people.
2. Here's the bigger reason, and it's hard to explain. Essentially, I do not and cannot feel empathy for rapists. Now that really doesn't seem like that radical a statement, at least to me. I think if I said that to most people I know they'd just go "yeah, who does?". Even when I've taken this to the extreme and stated that if I had children (this point is moot since I don't plan to) and my child committed a rape, I would disown them no questions asked, and most people have still not seen that as extreme. But it still disturbs me to be able to cut off my empathy for a person based on one thing. After all, if I think about it, it seems to me that many rapists do the exact same thing to their victims: they feel absolutely no empathy towards them and do not consider the humanity of their victims at all. I'm not trying to imply that not feeling empathy for rapists makes me the same as them, but it's uncomfortable for me to have the ability to feel no empathy for a person. Again, if I really think about what most of the people posting in that thread have probably done to another human being, it doesn't seem that strange to me that I don't feel any pity for them and wouldn't even if they did seem to genuinely feel bad: maybe some things are just unforgivable. Still, that little bit of me that says I should have empathy for everyone always kicks in.
Anyway, I still haven't learned any lesson from any of this, because each time someone brings up that thread my gut feeling is and probably always will be "I hope all those creeps are miserable forever. And go to jail". Plus I'm sure that even if I could be convinced that a former rapist had actually changed, I still wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.
Honestly, it's probably not worth clicking. Plus you'll be taken to Reddit, one of the worst places on the internet.
So today on the feminist blogosphere, I've seen many articles about this thread on reddit (I feel dirty having just opened up the link in order to get the URL), in which a bunch of people who have raped in the past talk about...well, raping people. Apparently one of the worst/most disturbing posters in the thread is a guy who confesses to being a serial rapist and to purposely manipulating his wife away from anyone who would tell her about his past. I don't know many details, as that is a thread I'm just not willing to read. Because I participate in a lot of feminist forums I tend to see a lot of creepy rationalizations and rape apologia, but reading a bunch of confessed rapists discuss their crimes, apparently some pretty gleefully, would probably break me.
Though I will say it could be a useful tool: a bunch of people talking about raping people and some of them patting each other on the back about it would do a nifty job of illustrating rape culture.
Anyway. Obviously the general reaction I've seen has been one of outright disgust and horror. But on a couple of the blogs I follow, I've seen people say that the few people in the Reddit thread discussing how terrible they now feel about having raped someone in the past gives them hope, because it shows that people can change. Maybe it's my cynicism and slight misanthropy showing, but all I could do when I saw those kinds of posts is scoff. And honestly, that makes me feel a bit guilty. Here's the main reasons why:
1. I just honestly don't believe that someone who did that to another human being COULD change significantly enough for me to feel some kind of hope for humanity. To me, violating another person like that says something central about your character, and my irrational self says that central characteristic is immutable. It feels cynical, though, to simply not believe in the possibility of redemption for some people.
2. Here's the bigger reason, and it's hard to explain. Essentially, I do not and cannot feel empathy for rapists. Now that really doesn't seem like that radical a statement, at least to me. I think if I said that to most people I know they'd just go "yeah, who does?". Even when I've taken this to the extreme and stated that if I had children (this point is moot since I don't plan to) and my child committed a rape, I would disown them no questions asked, and most people have still not seen that as extreme. But it still disturbs me to be able to cut off my empathy for a person based on one thing. After all, if I think about it, it seems to me that many rapists do the exact same thing to their victims: they feel absolutely no empathy towards them and do not consider the humanity of their victims at all. I'm not trying to imply that not feeling empathy for rapists makes me the same as them, but it's uncomfortable for me to have the ability to feel no empathy for a person. Again, if I really think about what most of the people posting in that thread have probably done to another human being, it doesn't seem that strange to me that I don't feel any pity for them and wouldn't even if they did seem to genuinely feel bad: maybe some things are just unforgivable. Still, that little bit of me that says I should have empathy for everyone always kicks in.
Anyway, I still haven't learned any lesson from any of this, because each time someone brings up that thread my gut feeling is and probably always will be "I hope all those creeps are miserable forever. And go to jail". Plus I'm sure that even if I could be convinced that a former rapist had actually changed, I still wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.
JUL 27, 2012 05:53 PM
JUL 27, 2012 06:49 PM
JUL 27, 2012 07:01 PM
JUL 27, 2012 08:11 PM
JUL 27, 2012 11:04 PM
JUL 27, 2012 11:16 PM
JUL 28, 2012 02:04 AM
JUL 28, 2012 04:29 AM
I have to say, if you rape someone, you are forever sub-human to me. For-ev-er! Rapists know when they are raping someone that it is wrong. You know thsi because they never discuss their crime, hiding it instead. And if you know something is wrong, DON'T FUCKING DO IT! I could care less that later in life they realize they feel bad about the rape. This does not help their victim in the least.
Of course, I have often been called a palladin, and have zero tolerance.
On a happier note, I'm glad the Olympics are back. Even though I have little interest in many of the sports that are shown, I'll still greedily watch as many as I can and enjoy every bit of it.
Also, miss you love. 
