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So this weekend I went back to C'ville, and on the (badly spent) Sunday evening, I decided to drive back to my old house. I thought it would be comforting...you know, in movies whenever a person is trying to find themselves they go someplace that used to be important to them and find some kind of great meaning, and an answer.
It ended up being sad, though. I guess it's true, you can't ever go back home. Once it's gone...it's gone. I drove past my old house (someone else is living there now) and it looked different...I was going to drive up to the lake, but I felt almost as if i was intruding. I didn't belong there anymore. As much as that place is part of my history and will always be in my heart, i'm not in its heart anymore, and i'm not really welcome, either.
So I drove home, driving too fast on the old curvy road where I used to chastise my friends for going to fast, lest their cars go screeching into the bushes and never come out again. And I went back to the city and cuddled up with Nick and it was fine. It's not that big a deal, really. It's just weird to think, you can spent so many years of your life in a place and then it just becomes a memory. How do you even know it ever happened?
I was telling my dad about this and he said it's like love. You can love someone and love someone and then if it ends, and they just become this memory, how do you know if it was ever really real?
In other news, I like porn.
It ended up being sad, though. I guess it's true, you can't ever go back home. Once it's gone...it's gone. I drove past my old house (someone else is living there now) and it looked different...I was going to drive up to the lake, but I felt almost as if i was intruding. I didn't belong there anymore. As much as that place is part of my history and will always be in my heart, i'm not in its heart anymore, and i'm not really welcome, either.
So I drove home, driving too fast on the old curvy road where I used to chastise my friends for going to fast, lest their cars go screeching into the bushes and never come out again. And I went back to the city and cuddled up with Nick and it was fine. It's not that big a deal, really. It's just weird to think, you can spent so many years of your life in a place and then it just becomes a memory. How do you even know it ever happened?
I was telling my dad about this and he said it's like love. You can love someone and love someone and then if it ends, and they just become this memory, how do you know if it was ever really real?
In other news, I like porn.
OCT 08, 2002 04:36 PM
OCT 08, 2002 06:45 PM
OCT 08, 2002 07:23 PM
OCT 08, 2002 09:01 PM
OCT 08, 2002 09:14 PM
OCT 08, 2002 09:21 PM
OCT 08, 2002 09:56 PM
Well, I'm glad you're safe. Stay that way ok, because I like you.
prudence
I'm lost
October 2002
OCT 09, 2002 12:49 AM
fortunately, i haven't had that problem yet. my parents still live in the same house they bought when they were married, and my grandparents also still live in the same houses they always have lived in. what i worry about is when my granddad dies, and there'll be no one to live in his house anymore...
great- first faith's journal, and now this. i'm sad and crying
don't feel bad. it's really not your fault.
