So the rest of this entry is going to be behind a spoiler, because it's about sexual assault and could be triggery. Also, it's very ranty.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)You know how so many people react to stories of people being victimized and try to blame the victim? How they try to say that the victim shouldn't have had so much to drink, shouldn't have dressed that way, shouldn't have acted that way, should have done something different to avoid what happened to them? How there's this idea that if you just act a certain way, if you act correctly, you'll be safe and that if you act the "wrong" way, well, it might not be your fault, but you should have known better?
I fucking hate that attitude. It's unnecessary and wrong and awful and a million different bad nouns. The fault always, ALWAYS lies on the person who attacked and abused another human being. 100% of that fault lies on them. Not one tiny bit should fall on someone who, sure, might have been acting in a generally unwise way, but was not ever asking for someone to hurt them.
Anyway, my point is, someone on LJ today wrote one of the best things ever on why blaming the victim is so awful. So I'm going to repost it here. Thank you, new LJ friend:
"Dressing modestly" does jack shit to "protect" a "girl." Or a woman. But insisting that women CAN "protect themselves" by guarding their dress (or actions, or speech, or activity) implicitly puts the onus ON THE WOMAN to prevent the perpetrator from perpetrating whatever bullshit he's pulling.
Women are catcalled, assaulted and raped while wearing mini skirts. And while wearing jeans. And while wearing jogging suits. And while wearing Burger King uniforms (me). And while dressed in burkas. And while dressed in religious habits. And while dressed in bikinis. And while dressed in formal gowns.
You know what the one, single, commonality every single woman who's been assaulted or raped shares?
Each one has been assaulted or raped by a person.
Remove the perpetrator and you have no crime.
But it's a lot easier to say "well, she shouldn't have been wearing that mini skirt/ burka/ gown/ pair of baggy jeans/ sweat suit/ habit. She should have known better. Why didn't she act to protect herself?" than it is to say "people who catcall/assault/rape women should be held to higher standards and expected to not do that shit."
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