Well, never mind house hunting.
Tangus and I just broke up.

Don't ask for details because they really don't matter. Don't say stupid things about how he must be an idiot or he must be at fault or anything like that. I still love him more than anyone in the world and I don't want to hear a single bad word spoken about him. This is an amicable breakup and we still love each other very much, we just...can't be together.

But it's over. I thought I had found The One, but apparently I didn't, and now I've packed all my shit into four bags and I'm running home to mommy and daddy (and stepmommy and stepdaddy)

And that being said, I don't even know what to do with myself. Half of the time I feel like I don't even have a heart left at all. Then I'm reminded that I still have a heart and that it hurts more than I could possibly imagine. I can't breathe correctly. I feel like I want to vomit. I feel a million things at once and none of them are good. I want to kiss him and be with him one last time, but I'm afraid to. I want to stay here for the last couple of nights that I'll be in Florida, but I know that will make us both so sad. Being apart would make us sadder, though, and I can't be alone. I want to stay for weeks and pretend that we're still a couple, but we're not and that would hurt me even more.

My father is coming to pick me up tomorrow, to take me to Virginia. It's going to screw me over job-wise because obviously I can't give two weeks notice, but I just CAN'T do anything else. I can't go into that office for two weeks and pretend to function. I have to go home and give myself time to fall apart or it will be worse for me in the end. For my sanity, I have to go home.

I hate this. I hate this so much. I want to scream and cry. I can't stop screaming and crying. This hurts more than I could possibly describe. I wish I could shut down my feelings.

Oh god, SG people. My heart is obliterated.

Thank you to those I have reached out to over the phone, and the ones I'm sure I'll reach out to in the coming weeks. Feel free to offer all kinds of kind words, I need 'em. I need all the help and support I can get.

Obviously I won't be responding to every comment y'all leave right away, but when I can, I'll try.