List - Three of the best nights of my life:
1. Last year with Nick in a hotel room watching South Park.
2. Meeting penny and watching Evil Dead 2.
3. LAST FUCKING NIGHT!!!

Last night some friends of my roommate (who are all people who are really neat) came over to drink red wine and eat salsa and talk...and for once I actually allowed myself to get involved.

There were some very intense moments, but even when they were intense-sad, it was in a good way, you know? And I really bonded with one girl who i've always had lots of respect for (i thought she didn't like me!), and all in all it was just amazing and wonderful, and waking up this morning I feel so much more connected and at home in this college than I did before.

I take forever to let people get to know me. It's easier online, though I don't know why. But "in person", i am super-cautious. I like to observe people and wait and wait and wait until I feel safe enough to let them in and let them know me. I don't want to get hurt...

So letting people in always makes me feel proud and kind of relieved, like i've been tensing my shoulders for a long time and i can finally let them fall a little.