I'm irritated today. Nothing I want to get into really, kind of silly but someone from long ago really screwed me over and I never quite got the closure I felt I needed.
Not a boyfriend or dating person, this was completely different.

Odd how stuff like that can churn up and ruin your day for no reason. I hope the feeling decides to go away soon since there is really not a blessed thing I can do about the situation now.
Grrr….

I didn't get to go shooting this weekend because of the glorious rain, but I did take the Vehicross out and run through the large puddles spraying rooster tails of water up on the neighborhood kids who stand by the water and motion for motorists to do this. It's great, the kids love it and the mean streak in me loves it too. How often do you find a win/win situation?

I went to a couple of clubs too, but wasn't feeling particularly social. I met a pretty girl who was very shy. She had piercings all over her face, which I normally think is too much, but on her it was beautiful. I sat by her and didn't talk because she was so shy, it was good because I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was just in an introspective mood.

Pondering what you ask? Pondering how old I suddenly got. It is odd, like 3 years ago, I was "young" mid 20's no pressure to get married have children and so on, then three little years go by and all of a sudden I'm like one of the "old" people at a club. All of a sudden I get a puzzled look from a 21 year old when I make reference to something from the 80's. All of a sudden my oldness becomes so glaringly apparent. I was pondering it and have decided I love my oldness, every year that goes by I like myself more. Every year I become a better person, my judgment is better, and my ability to see things from other perspectives is more in tune with reality. I just need to do more stuff with other old people now. I have decided the clubs hold no joy for me anymore. I'm much happier doing dorky stuff like frog catching and scorpion watching and the like. Anyone else here feel happy old?

Edited to add: This is a toad I found hopping around the shooting range. As you can see I shot it, with my camera, and then moved it to a better location. Toads make me happy, they always look like they are smiling, that makes me smile.

I was out at the river with some friends a couple of weeks ago looking at scorpions (I said a was a nerd) at night with a black light. The little ones really glow. We had a flashlight too which attracted about 500 billion bugs to it's beam, the cool thing was the insects attracted a ton of bats. It was amazing! There had to be a hundred bats flying within an inch of my head. I held my camera and just kept snapping photos and I ended up capturing a few mid air bats. I like this one.

I have gone spelunking in several caves and old mines around here and always enjoy seeing the bats. When I was a kid we had a whole ton that lived in our garage, sometimes they would get into the house, I loved that.

So I thought some people might like to know a little more about me.

I can count my sex partners on my hands and a little on one foot.

I have 3 cats and a Chihuahua

I have never done drugs

I am a really good cook

I keep a garden

I am a saltwater/freshwater/and small animal "expert"

I graduated high school when I was 16

I lived on my own since I was 17

I was arrested once, for curfew violation while driving home from my job at 10:05 during a random "curfew checkpoint". I turned 18 8 days later.

I have flown in several WWII aircraft, including a PBY, and a P51

I'm happy

I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a kid

I am rusty now, but used to very good at handwriting analysis

I'm into about 500 different things

I seriously considered trying out for Animal Planet's "King of the Jungle"

I had a short story published when I was 13

I was a HUGE nerd in school

I used to be Chucky Cheese

I lived in India and Germany when I was a child

I had an Indian nanny and a German mom so I had a seriously fucked up accent when I was a kid.

I grew up on a farm and used to break and train horses

I can change the oil on my car and usually at least try fixing problems when they arise. Since I bought a Mercedes I have had a much higher failure rate with my repair attempts.

I know how to drive a tractor

I'm very girly and a tomboy at the same time

I need a man to open jars for me

I live in a large house with 6 roommates.

I may have a little Dysmorphophilia, I find myself attracted to peoples flaws.

I judge people on looks only superficially, to me true beauty comes from the mind.

I think geeks are really sexy


And I think all of you rock

I'm pretty happy with this whole SG thing. I was a little apprehensive but so far it seems really cool. A nice place with people of a similar mindset. Not something you find every day. Even the people I disagree with are not total idiots. They have a different point of view, which is ok, that is what makes the world go round and keeps stuff interesting. And I think I probably learned more from the people I disagreed with than from those who I agree with 100%. Pretty cool!
School was fun today, my interior design class was in the lab today. I like lab days, it is much more fun than the lectures which are pretty dull sometimes, despite being about the field I am getting my degree in. Hands on is just more fun.

I had the worst headache last night. It was really awful so I ended up going to bed very early. I didn't do my homework, I got up around 3 AM and was going to work on it but then still felt really foggy and went back to bed. Woops. Thankfully there is no exam this week. So I'll just have to bust a little extra ass over the weekend to make up for yesterday. Usually Wednesday is my big study day. I skimmed the chapter and half-assed my writing stuff. Oh well, can't get A's all the time. My goal for every semester is a C, so I usually exceed my expectations, but aiming low allows me the leeway to not kill myself when something like this happens.

I have participated in a lot of the gun topics posted on the boards. It always saddens me when I hear people equate guns to crime. Guns can be used in crime, and they can kill people, but so can cars or rocks or any number of other items. I get sad when people forget how many honest citizens own guns and never harm anyone. They forget that target shooting is a rewarding sport that harms nothing and no one. It is safer than rock climbing and hiking.
When I was in elementary school and middle school, I tried out for sports. I never made it. I could run, but not as fast as others. I could hit the ball, but not as well as other people could. I was also horribly, miserably unpopular and was never picked for anything by my peers. I did try out for cheer, and I made that team. Unfortunately, I beat out a popular girl, leaving her as the "alternate". It is not hard to see how this quickly led to my demise as a cheerleader. I was the only thing between this girl and her friends. The three weeks I stuck it out in cheer were the worst three weeks of pubescent torture one can imagine. After that I gave up on team sports entirely. I figured I sucked at everything. Then my mom and dad got my younger brother a BB gun. I tried his a few times and then took my odd job money and bought one for myself. I finally found something I was good at. I could practice by myself, and I was actually pretty good. No one was there making fun of me if I missed, and hitting the target was its own reward. Soon I got a .22. The more I practiced the farther back I could stand. I had an old tree stump and paper targets and it was a wonderful past time. It was something I could challenge myself with and feel rewarded by. I enjoy shooting. I wish others, who like to so rapidly jump on the bandwagon of fear, would spend a day at the range and give shooting a chance. Maybe if they could see it for the rewarding sport it is, they would understand why people get so upset when others place a blanket judgment on them (criminals) and try to ban the tool they use for their sport.

This is my favorite target shooting gun. It is a "Post Ban" AR-15 it was legal, because it does not have a flash suppressor at the tip. If it had the little Swiss cheese looking thing on the tip, it would have been an "Assault rifle"

The state of things in this country has me very disturbed.

The complacency with which people are just accepting this crap is even more disturbing.

I am concerned about so many steps in the wrong direction which are being made, and the blatant disregard for the constitution being shown by the current administration.

I guess it is easy to turn a blind eye when it is other people affected. I feel I have reached my bullshit threshold. Now I need to figure out how to go about doing something about it. I think I am going to run for some office next election.

What is your bullshit tolerance threshold? What will have to happen to make you say enough!?

My little dinner went well over the weekend. I got nothing but complements. I made the samosas and Palak paneer.


I have a little Chihuahua mix dog. He is just over a year and 4 months old and was abused by the people I got him from. I've had him for about 4 months. To this day he still has no manners and can be pretty rambunctious. Then if you yell at him, he slinks around, like he just got beaten, for the rest of the day. So it is hard to discipline him because yelling NO at him makes him act all shifty and scared but has little effect on his behavior with regard to the thing he actually got yelled at for. I have a crate for him and since he destroyed some stuff he shouldn't have and came into the house and lifted his leg on my sofa, he has been confined to the crate a lot. This way I can let him out and offer positive praise for him when I am watching him and he does something good. I'm not sure what else to do with him at this point, you get someone else's mess and have to try to figure out a creative way to deal with it. I feel bad having to keep him in the crate, but I have to be able to actively watch him so I can try and get a handle on the behavior problems, otherwise he is going to end up one of those dogs who goes from home to home forever until he finally ends up in a kill shelter, or worse a no-kill shelter where he spends his life going insane in a cage.

I decided to take him to the dog park this weekend to make up for having to crate him 8 hours a day. He had such a good time. I was a little worried because he is so tiny and all of the other dogs there were HUGE. There was a bull mastiff there who I could have ridden. He was the only little dog, but he had a blast. Just ran and ran. Like he had never seen this much space to just run in his life. And who knows, maybe he hasn't. He was going up and making friends with people too. That was cool, considering the quivering ball of fear he was when I got him. The first time I took him on an outing to Petsmart, he just shook and dribbled pee and tried to hide under shelves or anyplace he could find to try and wedge himself. Now, 4 months later he has much more confidence. I wish the dog park wasn't a 45 min drive away. Petsmart is headquartered here, so they do a lot of their philanthropic work in this area, including the dog parks. There are several parks walking distance from my house, I think I may write to Petsmart and ask them if they would consider putting a dog park in this area. I'd love to be able to take him more often.

HELP!!
I'm making dinner for a few people (6) tonight. I'm a good cook and can make pretty much anything and it will turn out yummy.
I'm not opposed to meat or vegetarian dishes. I do not like fish or fish-like things. I LOVE Indian food and like making my own paneer cheese. I love lots of other foods too. Anyone have a recipe or suggestion for something truly tasty?

I like to cook from scratch, so I can buy food at Whole Foods rather than buy scary stuff from a can, and I like making my own breads.

I have noticed myself falling into the old tried and true syndrome, since I cook almost every day for myself, and I'm bored. If anyone knows anything yummy, please suggest it so I can make something new and get out of my tried and true rut. I have been skimming recipe books and web sites to no avail, I think I'm not hungry so nothing is appealing to me.
Please suggest away.