I'm a wizard...

but I misplaced my wand =(

ROCKBAND IS SO MUCH FUN! Yes it is.

I moved... not sure what I think about it yet, I'm still just as confused as ever about my life and my future and even more so now.

I don't like to put myself on a pedestal but... life keeps shitting on me and I'm really a nice fucking person. It sucks.

That is all for now... I'll update with some photos soon just for kicks.

Cutting through an underground mall this morning to get to my office I saw the line up of people at "Second Cup" waiting to get their morning java and it made me laugh. I love the fact that I can get through any given day without HAVING to have something ie: coffee, cigarette, chocolate, tea, painkillers, whatever. I've made a vow to never have an addiction to anything... not to say I don't indulge in these things sometimes.. and more for that matter... I just don't need any of them.

What are your MUST haves on a regular day?




I also kinda had one of the worst weekends of my life... and I'm glad it's over or at least I hope it is. Moving in 3 days - this will be a test of faith.

Playing with my new camera.

Got drink? I do!



Pirate being a guitar hero.



Me pretending to be a guitar hero.



My everything.


-glow in the dark bowling is really fun when on ecstasy.
-I'm moving in 7 days - $2000 at ikea and should be good to go.
-Erotisan Check it out!

Daddy bought me a new camera to replace the one I drunkenly lost on New Years Eve... I'll post some photos soon.

I'm moving in 10 days and I got a giant line of credit so Steve and I are gonna Ikea it up for some furniture.

Hadda take my kitty to the vet yesterday to get treated for fleas (he's an indoor cat so not really sure how he got them) and a vaccination. He was mad at me all day yesterday. But during the night he took over my pillow so I had to rummage through my closet in the middle of the night to find another one for myself - a double bed is just too small for me, a boi, and a fat cat. The vet said he needs to lose about 2 pounds, but he's so handsome!

I might to to the Plaza tomorrow to see the Art of Dying and on Friday to the Media Club to see Mass Undergoe - woop.

I'm at work - getting paid play around on social networking sites to promote the one I work for that launches soon. http://www.erotisan.com. So....

I've decided that I really hate what most of the world is about, this means everything and almost everyone around me including myself and I don't really know what to do about it. I guess you can't do anything really except make the best of it... and I try but sometimes other forces don't make it so easy.

I really need to get back on track health wise and I think I'll feel a lot better.

Vancouver - what I love about it. (even on a rainy day like today)

The food mostly. I've been told that other cities (like Seattle) better cater to Vegetarians and Vegans but Vancouver does it pretty well.

Gorilla Food
This place is totally raw/vegan and is amazing. It's a little hold in the wall to order from only on weekdays and its a little pricey if you can eat a lot, like I can, but so worth it. Their Hawaiian "pizza"with kale and pineapple is RAD so is the fudge. The owner Aaron is awesome too.

The Foundation
I've loved this place since the first time I went. I know lots of people who don't like it but I think that's because they order the wrong things. I've only been Vegan for like 8 months but even as a vegetarian/vegan who cooks at home - never order a veggie burger, nachos, or a bowl of chilli when you go to a vegetarian restaurant. I count those as "the meat eaters way out" when dining with vegetarians. Pick something that has flavour! Like the spicy peanut dishes or maple tahini stuffs... but start with the hummus!


The Eatery
Like sushi? I didn't until Lavonne invited me out last February. The vegetarian selection is HUGE! Not so much if you're vegan - ask for no mayo on the rolls and don't eat anything with tempura (they put eggs in the batter) but seriously... the environment and the food is AWESOME - the service isn't always so but I can look past that. Try a maki with mango .


There's lots of others; The Templeton on Granville St @ Davie downtown - RAD tofu scram and lentil loaf; Sweet Cherebum on Commercial Dr. - the best baked samosas ever!; Cafe deux Soleils and Cafe DU Soleils both on the drive - again I'm a whore for tofu scrams.

The other thing I love about Van is ... local shows. They are everywhere...
Mass Undergoe are a local band. Not only am I friends with them, they rock and they put on an amazing live show. Check them out.
The Turn
My other fav local band...
There are lots but those two are my favs... and if they play at the Bourbon I can dance to crappy music afterwards so its a win win situation. I used to love going to Celebrities to dance it up on Tuesdays but it's not the same anymore.

I guess there are lots of things I love about Vancouver, the seawall in the summer, bike riding it mostly, and my friends - they make it bare-able most days. Cause let me tell ya - it's expensive, hard to find good work, a good place to live (especially if you have a cat) and I find it's a little rude. Vancouver isn't that friendly of a city but it's home. And... it's pretty dirty here too.

Speaking of home I just found a place today. I wanted to stay on Commercial Dr. but my new place isn't far. It's closer to Pirate not that I was far anyways but ya, in a very well kept building, I can have my kitty cat, and it's right at the bus stop so I'm set. Now I really have to tell my roomate I'm moving out.

Things are slowly ironing out. My office job takes up my weekdays http://www.erotisan.com

OH AND I HAD THE BEST NEW YEARS EVER and you'd never know cause I lost my camera that night.
Meshell "We ate a lot of mushrooms!"
Pirate "How did this happen"
Meshell "This is riduculous!"
AND the Wizard of Oz is so much awesomer when you are high as a kite.
MUWAH!

I hate Xmas. Sorry to sound so humbug but... really this year made me really think that. Or more I hate the gift exchange part and it usually revolves around that. I won't elaborate cause I'll just sound like the selfish little girl I think I sound like but I can't help the way I feel. Next year I just want to cook Vegan dinner at home on Xmas Eve (that's when I celebrate being German!) and cuddle with my boi and my cat and watch a movie or something. Vegan dinner on Xmas day at my friend Vanessa's place was RAD!!! Baked candy yams, tofurky loaf, bread stuffing, mushroom gravy.. fuck ya!

I got my hair cut and dyed on the 23rd... its dark red and like above the shoulder on one side and tapers down in the back to be longish on the other side...

The tree at my Oma's house.

Couple more pics...

The SGBC Xmas gathering at the Jupiter... thanks Jocelyn for planning it!
Maiwan, Pirate and ME!

Couple more..

On Boxing day Steve and I went to Victoria. My Aunt and family do a big gathering for dinner.. and then we spent 3 days downtown. Didn't do much.. it rained... visited all my fav restaurants like The Rebar and the Green Cuisine and the Noodle Box... we did go to Craigderoch Castle or however you spell it. That was fun, hadn't been there since I was a little kid on a school field trip. It was nice to get away and sleep alone for three days without a roomate being home. Speaking of which.. I guess Happy New Years eve to him (my roomate) gotta tell him tonight I'm moving out.

The Castle

More photos..

That's about it... thanks to everyone who replied to my last one about the anxiety.. I only took the perscription for one day... and just waited it out. Back to work on wednesday... Oh ya and if I had your phone number, I probably no longer do because I left my cell phone charging in the hotel in Victoria.. so I bought a new one. My number has stayed the same but perhaps you should text me or message me yours !

Steve and I are gonna party is up with Pirate and her Mikey tonight, hope everyone has an AWESOME NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!

PS!!! Give my rejected set love, it really wants it!! Stll Blooming

So this is what anxiety feels like.

I had to leave work today nauseous, I thought I was sick... but once I was home and felt my chest tighten, and feeling really on edge I realized this has to be what is an anxiety attack. I didn't think they could last this long. I slept for 3 hours, had a fucking scary ass dream that didn't help, and woke up to my cat being all crazy cause our apartment is haunted by dead mice from last winter. He's always scared, he chases mice that aren't there and now resides on top of the fridge where I guess he feels safe. I wanted to go to the clinic but.. it's too far for me to safely walk alone. Steve is on his way over. I think I need some comfort food, like a baked chick pea rice samosa from Sweet C's. My friend David said to do something routine to take my mind off of it... so even though thinking about a computer screen made me want to vomit, I thought writing a blog about it might make me feel a a little better. I feel like I'm getting zapped every time I lay down. And I think it's caused by...

All the damn drugs I did on the weekend. They are finally physically having an effect on me.

I felt fine yesterday when I went to my old class to model for my friend Shelley's midterm for fashion makeup. Here's some of the pics. It was 60's ish. Then I ate lots of YAM FRIES!






Now I can totally see... I really do need to work on my facial expressions as in my rejected set
Still Blooming but C'mon... it's still pretty hot!


Now where's that samosa?!

Horray I get Holidays after this week, Friday SGBC Party, gonna see The Golden Compass and Sweeny TOdd this weekend and then its FEASTS GALORE for like a week! Tofurky and vegan truffles here I come.

NEW TATTOO! Guess what it is?! I also got a small one on the inside of my ankle, a little outline of a dead mouse. Vanessa and I got matching ones - the idea came from that night only a few months ago that I told you all about, the night I should have had my stomach pumped !




And my rejected set Still Blooming loves you all very much for your input and appreciation. If you haven't checked it out already, DO IT!


So I wanted to write a blog about all the awesome things I love about Vancouver, and that will happen eventually..

But.. I FINALLY got to see Alexisonfire on Saturday. I've only been waiting.. 4 months since I bought the ticket. They are my favourite band as of late and I've never seen them and well... I was ripped on E and it was amazing. Pirate and her man came with me and mine and it was a great ol' time.

Pirate and me!

So... after being friends for like 8 years, Steve and I started hanging out more and slowly developed a romance. It's weird but I like it. Forming new feelings for someone you already know is an interesting experience. It's comforting to have some one around that is so like minded.

And next week I will no longer be a cashier to the food snobs of Vancouver. I myself prefer organic and local but, I'm not rude about it. I could actually write a book about what it's like to be a grocery store cashier, it might make more people realize that the smallest acts of kindness can make someones day. Think about it.
I'm working with some awesome people on a cool project that will be launching in the new year, Erotisan. Check it.

What's everyone doing for the holidays? Xmas Eve I'll be at my Oma's, doing the German dinner and presents, and Xmas day I think Vanessa and her hubby will be doing Vegan dinner woop! And boxing day the boy and I are going to Victoria to visit my relatives and chill out for a while.