SuicideGirl: Meshell
suicidegirl

Meshell is somewhere between happy and total fucking wreck...

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JULY 13, 2008 @ 11:14 PM | 17 COMMENTS

The beach is a beautiful thing...

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Who are these guys you might ask?? I have NO FUCKING IDEA!!! After driving around Stanley Park for 2 hours and not finding parking for third or second beach we went to kits beach. Just as we were packing up to leave my friend Jill asked to take some photos of me on my towel for part of her art project that involves "black" subject matter - since my towel and bikini were black she wanted to take my picture. So then these two Sweedish guys (seriously) that were like 20 (seriously!) come up and are like "oh do you want us in your photoshoot" and just came and parked themselves next to me. It was TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS! I stiffled my laughter as best I could and played along.. highlight of the day for sure. GAG. Blue skies and heat make me be happy to be alive!

The crew.
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Marie and me - friend from makeup school who is rad.
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Last night we went to Hokus (never been always wanted to), the bands were meh, the crowd was young and also kinda meh but the sushi was okay. I dunno what it is but lately when I go out I'm surrounded by young boys, like 20 years old, like at the beach, and last night at some random house, and the list goes on. It might have something to do with the fact that apparently I don't look 19. Yesterday in the liquor store the under cover security guy came up to ME in a group of 6 girls that were younger than me and asked to see my ID. It's flattering really.

Teia and me with kitten! He's not mine, I wish.
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Yet again trying to stop the laughing, how do I end up in places like this?? Thanks Teia!
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Rockin' T's hat!
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OHHH I found a rad apartment and already have keys. Gonna paint this week, needs lots of love. The next month for me is going to be so busy it's ridiculous.. s'all good though.. good things good things. The place is two floors, two bedrooms, I can put my drums in my room and no one under me can complain! I also have a balcony in my room as well as one in the living room...

Did a photoshoot with my friend Ryan Conners Doco Photo he's doing a series of "beauty shots" - basically elegant head shots, minimal makeup... so here's some.

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More



A new gift shop opened up near work and they had lots of cool buttons! I spent $30 on buttons! A JEM one, SERIOUSLY! I also got a Where the Wild Things Are one but someone already stole it from me.. or rather I gave it to him.

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Speaking of buttons... Button Button!!
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Girl Talk is sold out.. what to do?!

JULY 8, 2008 @ 07:13 PM | 14 COMMENTS

Beautiful.

Things are sometimes!
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The thing I look forward to most in my day, whatever time it is that I get home, middle of the night, early morning hungover, or evening after work, seeing this guy. He stops, drops, and rolls for me and then I do the same, we lay on the floor looking at each other upside down and he talks to me and I wish I could understand him. I doubt he's saying the same things I say to him which are usually, "you're too cute for me" or "if you got any cuter I'd have to kick you out". I'm looking for a new place to live, in east van, something a little cheaper so likely shared accommodation and the hardest part is finding somewhere I can take him with me. And I don't care cause he's worth it.

It's beautiful out - the sun is shining, other things in life that have been getting me down have been improving substantially so really - no complaints today.

Pirate and me! Check out her awesome new set that went live a few days ago Het Piraat Bier
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My lil sister and I, she left for Montreal for 5 weeks frown
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I also love summer for the food especially the abundance of delicious fruit.
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I scored a nice lil bicycle at a pawn shop by my work - Malloreigh might help me in the repairs department. It's pretty sweet cute.
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It's been almost a month since Button Button went into member review. I really wanna see it go up cause it's so cute. AND cause I really wanna shoot another one so if you want to keep the nakedness plentiful go tell us how much you love it.
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On Sunday I was on Much Music's Going Coastal with ifwinterends and Mantis4U at the button show last month - I don't have cable to so I didn't get to see it frown.

What do you look forward to every day?

This is a dedication - it's obvious to who.


I want bubble tea.

Can't wait til I go to Calgary on August 8th to Snatch bar for fun SG festivities thanks to Rydell!!!!
JULY 2, 2008 @ 10:35 PM | 14 COMMENTS

I love the HOT HOT HEAT!

Yes Vancouver has been beautiful the last week. I had lots of beach time, on Saturday with ifwinterends and then Sunday and Tuesday with Pirate and company! I even had soy gelato at the crazy ice cream place!

Moi and my new binkini.
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ifwinterends and her new bikini.
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Saturday was Pirate's sister's wedding reception - it was fun! Open bar, I got to wear my new dress, and I macked on a cute boy. That girl bakes a good cake - she needs to help me bake vegan eats!

Cute twinsies!
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Between two of my fav peeps - Pirate and her lover boi!
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Last Wednesday I cooked her dinner and we ate some scooby snacks and... well it was a good night rolling around on the floor though work the next day was rough!

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Salad rolls with peanut dip!
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Crap it just started pouring rain, good ol Vancouver!

You can listen to my interview with
TylerHollywood here The Bad Side - Talk Radio X

More pics from that night a the little black dress party - yes it was a camera whoring night.



My fav song right now - Wagon Wheel by the Old Crow Medicine Show





Some of these are just too funny for me.
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I went for dinner with my lil sister today - it was almost as good as the Eatery with Pirate last night.. almost. By sis is going to Montreal for 5 weeks so... I'll miss the lil brat.

That is all as if that wasn't enough. Life is good right now, maybe not financially but in every other way it's pretty okay so who cares about money anyways!!!

And cause you love me and wanna see me naked on the front page - thanks again Cherry!
Button Button
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I need to buy a bicycle so if anyone knows where I can get a gooder for not an arm and a leg let me know!

JUNE 23, 2008 @ 08:31 PM | 20 COMMENTS

A trillion more photos.

The weekend was fun! My friend Shelley from Alberta came to stay with me. On Friday her and I and some ladies that were in our make up class sat around in our PJ's and ate yam fries that I made and drank cocktails.

Me on the far right!
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I like vodka?
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Then on Saturday we had a "Little Black Dress Party" and I got the cutest lil dress for $20!!! Except the bars SUCKED. 4 of us went to the Bourbon and then the Sweat Shop and it all sucked! Pirate came out to the Sweat Shop so that was nice but still we were a little disappointed.

I got a cute lil yellow leopard print Betsey Johnson bag!
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Shelley and me!
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Crazy girls.
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Me and Pirate - I look stoned but I think it was a mid blink!
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Earlier that evening while I was in my dress and had had a couple of drinks already I did an interview with TylerHollywood and it was super fun - he's rad!! If you missed it perhaps he'll put a link up soon. TalkRadioX
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And Tyler this is the dead mouse! You can kinda see it.
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Button Button
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June Self Shot Contest Dry Bath

I wish I had someone to cook for - I made such a tasty dinner!!! All the while in my undies with Rise Against blasting.. yes indeed.
Yams shaken in olive oil/garlic/garam masala/curry powder
Dipped in vegan mayo/garlic/mexican chilli powder
Kale salad with grapefruit, avocado, tomato, orange pepper, seasoned almonds, and goji berries with
Mango/orange/curry/garlic dressing.

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Summer is... almost here I can feel it.

I miss reading my vampire teen drama, I NEED "Breaking Dawn" by Stephenie Meyer but it doesn't come out til August frown

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I wish these guys would come back!
JUNE 18, 2008 @ 09:37 PM | 12 COMMENTS

Pictures Galore!!!

Okay so this is mostly going to be a picture whoring blog.

FIRST thanks to everyone who checked out my Button Button set that's in Member Review, and thanks again to Cherry for doing such a rad job! If you haven't, go give it some LOVE! I'd really like to do another one but... I really want this one to go live cause it's super cute.
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This shot is wicked - my friend David who is also the singer of the band Mass Undergoe gave me these booty shorts biggrin
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Last weekend was the BEST ever - well prolly pretty close, I got to spend time with almost all my fav people!
On Friday ifwinterends came over and we drank wine and talked about life and I ate yam fries drunk - she's a lush!

German wine for a German girl!
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MORE DRUNK MESHELL ACTION

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

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Yes they do!!!!
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Then on Saturday Vanessa and Pirate and me went out dancing! We went to Library Square for 80's night and the crowd there was kinda lame but the music was totally fun and then we went to the Sweat Shop! It was my second time there and it's so close to home, I loves it. It was western themed and even though we weren't dressed for it, SO MUCH FUN! How often do you get to dance on bales of hay to NIN or Nirvana?! Seriously. I can't wait to go back there. Vanessa got some way radder pics of the hay but I have to wait for them. Here's a few from that night.

V and Pirate
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Me and V
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And me again..
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Some boi there was like "were you just at Library square?!" and I was like "ya..." and he said he recognized me cause he thinks I look like the chick from Paramore (who is hot BTW). She is actually the reason I initially put orange chunks in my hair but I never have gotten a good look at her. Today I googled pics and thought it was cute that we both have yellow skinny pants!
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So I got my vertical labret done - it's bruised like a mofo underneath - broken blood vessle.. its really sexy. Anyways I love it, though I still do want my nose done... maybe the cute boy who's been texting me all evening who is also a body piercer will want to do it tongue

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I like yellow panties?!?! This is what you do when you live alone and have too much time on your hands.



Check out The Bad Side radio this Saturday night - yours truly will be speaking!!

ALSO asdeputas made me into a Zombie!! HOW AWESOME is this?
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This is what I made for dinner - quinoa with pan fried red peppers/garlic/cubed tempeh with fresh avocado/tomato ontop with a peanuty/coconut/braggs sauce. And I thought I had nothing in the fridge!
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I told you this was a picture whoring blog.

My good friend Shelley from Edmonton is coming to town on Friday to stay with me, we're going to rip shit up!

AND for good measure and for the June Self Shot Contest - Dry Bath

Forgot how beautifully gushy these guys were!

JUNE 8, 2008 @ 09:58 PM | 28 COMMENTS

I'M NAKED!!

Well I will be again on Tuesday for you guys to see! My new set Button Button goes up for Member Review so you should keep your eyes peeled and then go give it some love because me and Cherry love it and wanna see it on the front page! She did a super rad job, it was really fun and I think you can tell how much more comfortable I am in front of the camera. Here's a sneak peak!

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A couple weeks ago I went with ifwinterends and Mantis4U to the Hot One Inch Action button show and got more buttons! We also got interviewed about our buttons for Much Music's going coastal... I happened to know the camera guy and host so.. it wasn't like we were just so awesome. But we are.

Yesterday my friend who is also Pirate's Mr. Man took me to get an electric drum kit and set it up for me, it's so much fun! I haven't played in years and I've been wanting one for a long time. When Pirate bought a bass the other day I was like "well fuck I shouldn't waste anymore time" and I'll just think about the money later.
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Then we went to a BBQ and got fucked up and I did some things I shouldn't have.
We're all so cute. Eric later stole my checkered scarf... and I'll prolly never see it again. zoom image

Want some drink?
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I might go get my vertical labret pierced tomorrow, Pirate got me a gift certificate for my birthday to do it but I've been humming and hawing because if I ever take it out I'll have two scars since I already have one from my previous labret. It was either that or a nose ring inspired by Kalix the "Lonely Werewolf Girl" in the book by Martin Miller. Soooo good. I need more fantasy books so suggest some.. I like young adult crap mostly... things that are NOTHING like real life.

I was just talking with one of my best buddies Vanessa and she really did like my ex and I was talking to her about him and I being friends. I don't know if we can because I disagree with his whole life and the people in it, and he even wants me to wait around for him, he wants us to both get happy individually and then we can be happy together or some crap. I don't think that can ever happen as we just view the world and the people in it way too differently. It sucks that we were friends for 8 years but that was mostly online and despite what he might think, real life is how things ACTUALLY are and how people ACTUALLY are. Anyways Vanessa said " I'm glad you are moving on and that you don't want him in your life, as crappy as it is because it ruins some of your social life like going to shows with me, but I've never seen you feel so terribly about yourself in the 6 years I've known you as in the last 4 months and I don't like it". So that was really nice of her to say. It really does suck because her husband is in a band and I've been friends with them for 6 years but I'm not even sure I can emotionally go to their shows anymore as he'll be there and so will all the slutty girls that contributed to our downfall... Anyways... I'm so glad I have my friends cause life is so freakin hard I don't think I'd still be alive without them. Pirate, ifwinterends, and Vanessa <3<3<3<3

Well this is the second time I wrote this blog and I know it's not as good as the first time but my stupid computer likes to be a jerk and delete things.

I went to see Panic At the Disco on Friday - I don't care what anyone says, those guys have some damn catchy songs and they put on incredible shows. So even though it was all 14 year olds at least my 18 year old sister that I went with is really small so I didn't stand out too much with her. She doesn't even like them hahahah!

Another shot from the sneaker photoshoot I did last week. The photograper Ryan Connors did a rad job.
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Don't forget to also check out my self shot set Dry Bath
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And Pirate's newest set het piraat bier MEOW!!!!! We shot them on the same day with Cherry!
JUNE 1, 2008 @ 08:21 PM | 26 COMMENTS

Photoshoots are fun!
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I did this one this morning - its for a project of a friend of a friend that involves naked or nearly naked girls in men's sneakers. Can't wait to see the rest... though the girls doing hair and makeup were completely incapable because they go to Blanche Macdonald, some people that go there already have a knack for makeup like me and redmess, even though I dropped out, but other girls go there because makeup is fun and they really aren't good at it - so if they ever want to use me on this project again I'm going to insist on doing my own. As I did insist upon fixing my hair today tongue

I find I have a lot of time on my hands... now that I'm alone.. it kinda sucks but it's also quite nice. My apartment is spacious and clean for once!
Pirate comes home today!!!!!!!!!! HORRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go give her member review set LOVE - het piraat bier
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I'm running out of stimulating music and reading material except that "New Moon" came out in paper back yesterday so I picked it up today and I'm so excited!

It's ifwinterends's birthday on Tuesday- we're going to wear dresses out to dinner cause I bought a new one and I want an excuse to wear it..

Just because...
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If anyone wants to come over and drink some wine and talk about the universe feel free.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Rise Against I <3 you.

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand



HANDSOME BOY! My one and only.

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He was sad with Steve's cat Zack left but Pirate's sister's cat is over while they are in Mexico, his name is Peanut and he also likes to drink out of the sink!

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MAY 25, 2008 @ 09:55 PM | 10 COMMENTS

Life hurts.

Today is my official "I live by myself" day, aside from the kitties.

I want someone to feel like this about me someday.



Check out Pirate's sexy new Member Review set shot by the awesome Cherry. I was there the day she did it and it was fun - Cherry also did one for me that day.... So give some love to het piraat bier
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While you're at it, check out my self shot set - the quality isn't great but it was a fun time so at least get some kicks outta it.
water-less
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I apologize for all the emo posts frown
MAY 22, 2008 @ 09:20 PM | 17 COMMENTS

Picture whore.

That's me.

I know how much you guys love it - too bad I don't have a facebook you have to suffer!!

I got inked... my foot says "Born Innocent but Something had to Give" - from my fav Alexisonfire song 'The Girl Possessed'. IT HURT.
Got it done at Adrenaline in Toronto!
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And for good measure my sexy new shoes fit perfectly around it.
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MORE WEDDING PHOTOS
JAGER
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I gots me a bride
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Okay drunkie.
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I found my husband painted on a wall in downtown Toronto.
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AND

Pirate came with me to see my other husband Dallas Green last night, he's so wonderful, he sings liquid diamonds. I want a diamond.
That is all.
MAY 18, 2008 @ 08:13 PM | 11 COMMENTS

Toronto is AWESOME!!!

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes - the wedding was SOOOO much fun!!! It was at Walters Falls just outside of Owen Sound, Ontario - was windy and cold but it stopped raining...

I gave a short speach and cried like a baby, and since it was my birthday I didn't pay for drinks, and I got trashed and danced in my high heels and satin dress until like 2am! So much fun - we got to request whatever songs we wanted so I got to dance to my favourite Michael Jackson song "The Way You Make Me Feel" and he played "Straight Lines" by Silverchair for me and I cried.. more.

Here's some wedding photo fun,
Didn't even notice what the glass said until the picture was already taken - coincidence?
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Me and the beautiful bride!
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Caught the bouquet!!
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I'm classy.
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I drank.. a lot.

ANyways, today we arrived in Toronto at like 5 o clock. Took a stroll down Queen St. West - It's so characteristic! I love it, the shopping is way cooler than Vancouver, the people seem nicer, I'm just kinda in awe right now. Then Lisa and I went to Fresh! for tasy vegan dinner that was INCREDIBLE.

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I wish we could stay here longer, getting up early to see more, shop more, and possibly get some ink done... then on a plane at 6pm back to Vancouver tomorrow evening. Now that I know TO is so awesome I wanna plan an actual trip out here... all in all it was worth sacrificing a hot sunny weekend at home for my bday to be at the awesomest wedding ever.
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