SuicideGirl: McKenzie
suicidegirl

McKenzie is a 27 year-old SuicideGirl in California, USA.

I’m private
 

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NOVEMBER 29, 2011 @ 11:37 AM | 11 COMMENTS


Two more weeks and this semester will be o-v-e-r! I havent had much time to think about the vacation break, but it is in the back of my mind, still trying to decide on what to do for my birthday. I always put myself in these situations. What, where, and how should I celebrate my birthday plans. Ive been too stressed and worried because Im not passing the one class I really am not learning anything in. The teacher just preaches us stories depressing stories that are happening in the world, and how were supost to have resources to help children and their family. If I dont pass this class, I will be still seeing this teachers face till the day I graduate.blackeyed

Which is bull shit, I have two more semesters to go, and I'd really like to graduate in the next year. So I can start a life for myself. All this learning about children just makes me want a kid of my own. Trying to live through my friends kids is not working as much as I wish it could. Other that, this semester has been way to much work. The sad thing is Im loosing a connection with one of my friends Jackie because were so busy with our own scheduals, that we cant make the time to see each other. Any how Ive put my share into trying to make a hang out time and it just is not there.

During my month break, I would like to spend more time cooking real meals for myself, get a gym membership at Golds so I can get back to doing yoga again. I have not painted as much I wish I could do, butif Im not in the creativity to paint, it wont come out good enough. Getting by drinking coffee and Red Bull is how Im surving. frown

Thanksgiving was nice, I ate way too much food all weekend long to the point that Id burp and food would come up. Gross I know, but I couldnt believe that my two year old neice scolded, when I walked outside in just my socks. Terrible twos are not fun. At least when I said my goodbyes, my neice came running to me and jumped in my arms and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I adore her....blush

The only break I gave myself this four day weekend was go to the movies to see the Muppets, I cracked up laughing through out the whole movie, and was singing "Mana mana do do do Mana mana"! all the way home in the car, my friend Robert was probablly annoyed with me by then because I dragged him to go with me. Were just waiting on a free day so we can go see "My Week with Marilyn".love


Back to the real world...for your enjoyment
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xoxo Mckenzie
NOVEMBER 9, 2011 @ 05:39 PM | 24 COMMENTS


Going into my meeting with my counciler I was worried, but walking out of her office I learned that I get to graduate in Fall of 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!biggrinbiggrinbiggrin Iam beyond excited and happy with myself!
NOVEMBER 5, 2011 @ 12:58 PM | 16 COMMENTS


Sipping on my now cold yummy coffee, If it wasnt so cold in the house I'd walk around naked. I tend to do that when I have the place to myself. But I love the weather now, it reminds me when I lived in San Francisco. smile Those were the days. I have so little time to catch up on the little things Ive been neglecting for awhile now, cleaning my bathroom that was looking pretty nasty, and the dirty clothes never end.Id be surpised at myself, if I had a momemnt to paint something. Especially neglecting to study for my tests, I have resulted in not so great grades. Its kinda pisses me off that my teacher gave me a C in the class when its only mid of the semester, shes a great teacher but come on, I work my ass off the best I can now that I'am working part time. Im glad Im working, fileing papers its not so hard, just the damn paper cuts, and the pay checks are good. Just in time for Christmas presents. smile I decided to wash the bed the sheets, just so I can sleep better during the nights. My brain, doesnt turn off during the nights. It amazes me some time, the shit I think about.For instance, I wanted to write a hate letter to my x boyfriend telling him how much I hate this break.

I spent halloween weekend at home, not doing a damn thing. Which was nice, but not good enough for myself. Id like to get out of school mode and work mode, if that is possible? But the looks of it, I wont be able to have a full on vaction to myself and friends till my 26th birthday. I have set in my mind I will end up in Portland again for some tattoo work on my sleeve with Hawk. Or I will be having a tea party themed just like Alice n Wonder Land? The only thing is Jaunary weather is shitty, and Id like the tea party to be outside!

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Yes I still wear fake tattoos:
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xoxo Mckenzie
OCTOBER 25, 2011 @ 11:58 AM | 10 COMMENTS


Today is my first day to myself, ever since I started working as a file clerk and going to school part time. All my free time consists of me doing homework or watching my favorite sho Sons of Anarchy on replay.Juice please survive this season! Not sleeping enough has caused me to find a place to sleep at school yesturday. But with my luck and self concious of people watching me sleep, I had no luck. I pretty much, jinxs myself when I asked my friends "how do you do it," while every one else around me works a job and are going to school with me. Now look at me! Im just like them. smile

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The only difference I feel between my class mates is that they have a child and I dont. So I get the vibe that they know more about how to take care of a child, and I dont. Which is not true. I wish I had all the time in the world to do the things I want and need to get done. Like: Yoga, new hair style, grocery shopping, hang with the girlys, ect!

I went to my very first Memorial service, over the weekend for some one who I knew on a personal level from middle school. My counciler from 8th grade, commited suicide the Sunday before. I didnt want to invest the details why or how, but my best friend from childhood mentioned he was depressed and had always ran into him and seemed happy. Its just hard to even bare the thought why, when he was so positive and a great role model for us kids, I rode my bike to the service, not sure but my cruiser may need new tires. Cause I woke up the next morning my body hurting in pain. frown

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Well time to eat breakfast and study for another test.
xoxo Mckenzie
OCTOBER 6, 2011 @ 11:04 PM | 13 COMMENTS


I envy all my lady sg friends, who are able to make it to the Portland Tattoo Convention this weekend. I havent been able to attend a convention for quite some time now. I think it was 2007 the Philly convention. Wow how time has changed, since then. I was blowing my money on travels to the East Coast every chance I got to see my friends. I honestly have over did the Tattoo convention scene, I rather have a real reason to walk in the door and not waste twenty five dollars to walk around in a circle to see all the same faces that I have met before from when I first started getting involved in the tattoo world.

All my time consumes now of school, family time, and a new part time job working for the next few weeks, I think i actually am realxed and use to a regular schedual. I just hope this job can lasts me enough to buy myself a up grade on my eye glasses prescription. (Its really hard to read my teachers hand writting on the dry erase board), I think I'll be able to get a digital camera sooner or later, Im crossing my fingers and to keep up on my left sleeve tattoo I started back In August. I dont want to be the person who waits two years later to finish it. I wish I could just get color already, but I need to work on my shoulder first to connect it together.


As for the part time job I started, its nothing new to me. Just files and files of paperwork to organize. Im very lucky to get this job every so often to help out with my father's company. What Ive learned though, is that I cant stand working under my father eight hours straight, I will want to kill him at the end of everyday. I work by myself, which is nice, just myself and a radio singing along to Fleetwoord Mac and Journey!

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If you know me personally, you would know that I do have interest in Hells Angels, but not to the point where Id like to get to personal with that world. I just so happen to find out one of the car service guys/mechanics at my job is a Hells Angel. Now that I know exactly who he is, I wish my pops didnt tell me. I get those fluter excited butterlies in my stomace, not those butterflies that I go goo goo for when I talk to him. I just hated looking like a jackass. Im just interested in learning more of that world is like, maybe I'll just stick to finishing reading my "No Angel" book on a undercover cop pretraying a Hells Angel.

Now the weather has change, its raining and Ive been rained twice on with out a umbrella already. I have plenty of hoodies, I just think to grab one. I was rained on at the Def Leppard concert back in September and this week well I was on the school campus. Luckily I havent gotten sick, knock on wood! I gotta buy more cashmire sweaters!

I still havent decided what to do with my hair, If I go long, I want to shave the underneath, and put pieces of dreds
in my hair, if thats possible to get the rest of hair normal. I have a shot hair cut in mind, but cant make up my mind. This is my worst habit that I cant break. So indecivcise.....bleh!

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A big thank you to 1sailor!!!!!!!
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xoxo Mckenzie
SEPTEMBER 28, 2011 @ 10:02 PM | 8 COMMENTS


Spent my lovely Wensday starting out with my first test for my CD 9 class, been spending alot of time learning about child abuse in my classes, not the most positive subject to keep talking about the past three weeks. Other then that school has been a juggling/time management. Trying to get use to the new schedual has been un-needed only because my DRC counciler doesnt do her fuckin job most of the time. The lady who filled in for her when I registerd for my summer classes and 2011 fall classes, happen to put me in a Spanish speaking class. Which was un known untill a week ago, only cause I was told to join Mrs Pats class who was teaching the same class, but in English that I need to achieve my certificate. Trying to fight the power to give me, my class back was a joke.

The Halloween ideas for costume shopping has started, lets see: Elvis, Red Ridding hood, Frida Kahlo, Snow White for a second time in a row, or a skeleton print hoodie with leggings? I tend to have to buy costumes to only to have them taken in by my mother. I will be at school all day on Halloween which is a Monday.So I want something comfortable enough to be sitting in all day in class. I hate wearing wigs so dont even bother to offer any ideas like that for me, thanks.

Looks like dying my hair the color I started out when I was in high school, with out thinking is ending me up with paying money I wish I didnt have to spend on becoming a blonde for a day. Achieving the red is always work, but I do need to stop doing the black hair every chance I get. Last time I touched up the roots and trimmed my hair was before I left for Portland in August. I cant stand trying to grow my hair out again with all of this heat happening! Sorry Rachelle! I tried! I may keep it the length Ive been cutting it latley, or do the fo-hawk if I do end up as Elvis for Halloween this year.

I know a few have asked me for another adorable Mckenzie set, I swear its in the works. Just finding the person to keep their word on helping me out is whats holding me back.

Hope everyone is well and staying out of the heat (Cali friends)

xoxo Mckenzie
SEPTEMBER 7, 2011 @ 11:02 PM | 16 COMMENTS


I sure have summer time Blues!!!!!!!!!!



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Really not into the school mode yet, and its barely my second week. Labor Day kinda was a good but a bad thing. I still dont have enough cash, because when I turned in my form to get my finacial aide check mailed to my house, they never turned it in. So I had to go all the way back to the main campus to the actual finacial aide center to turn in the form again. It finally got cleared, so I should have a check so I can buy my books soon in about two weeks, well not soon enough though.

This is what I do when I get bored, color in my sleeve with washable markers and give myself a fake stash!

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Im not a school kinda of person, and I know most us arent. But I just have another year left and Im on to better things I hope! biggrin

I have another busy weekend so far this month, That Im looking forward to!

Friday-Def Leppard & Heart concert!
Saturday- Hang out with a old friend from San Fran days from the tattoo shop
Sunday- Movie date night to see "Conan Barbabarian" with that one cutie that got away in high school!

plus homework frown

any body see the first espisode of SOA last night, the boys are back their old mischiefs selfs again! I dont know what I think of Juice's stash..... maybe he'll shave it during the season, since they just out of prison.

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xoxo
SEPTEMBER 1, 2011 @ 11:58 AM | 10 COMMENTS


So my first day back at college was yesturday, this is my fourth semester at the junior college. Im feeling more realax on know everything from where to find my classes.

It definally was a great decison to do summer school, because alot of my class mates are going to be in the same classes I take this fall/winter. I hope I can take the challenge of working with little kids at some point in my near future. Im going to need my mother's help, because she works in this field.

I havent gotten my finacial aide check yet, only because I didnt fill this little paper out. How lame is that? ! ? ooo aaa So I have to fill it out at some point today and then take it down to be turned in, or should I just wait and turn it in Tuesday at the actual Finacial aide center? I should just do it today, because Monday is Labor day, so no school. The check will probablly take even longer and I would like to get some money to buy myself lunches and a new pair of glasses, because my eye priscription has changed.

Well I will let you lovely sg people go, because I have to go to the store also, to buy ingredients for my best friends birthday dinner and cake for Friday.

xoxo
AUGUST 29, 2011 @ 05:32 PM | 10 COMMENTS


Getting nervous to start school again , but this time it will be my first time taking night classes. Monday's and Tuesday bleh! Hope I dont miss my favorite Sons of Anarchy!

Thought I was being responsible with my spending on my trip to Portland, but I still ended up broke as a joke. I have very little money on me till I can recieve my finacial aide check on the 15th. I chosed not to get bus tokens so I wouldnt over drawn on my account. I had that problem too many times when I was at Washington Mutual or Chase for those of you have accounts there.

I usually get ready for school or for my travel trips, by making sure I touch up my roots and get my eye brawls waxed.I cant wait to get some cash again, I also want tochange my hair color to red. But cant decide on growing my hair long or keeping it short.I wish I owned a Def Leppard or a Heart tee for my concert for September 9th. So Im a little bummed that I cant do that or plan a trip to the city for the day to see old friends. I just know the first thing I purchase is a digital camera so my sg blogs will get better.

This past weekend, I reconnected with a old highschool cutie, he invited me out to a friends birthday/engagement party for our class mates/friends. I honestly refuse to do any kind of run ins with old friends from high school days on purpose. But I had a great time, thank goodness there was no drama period!!! Infact Cali had a 4.6 earth quake Friday night some time after midnight, welcome my world East Coasters! Im just glad I wasnt alone when it happen. When I was three I believe, I was sitting next to the book shelf when the 86 quake started, my mom had to save me by grabbing hold of my shirt before the shelf would crash on top of me.

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Xoxo Mckenzie
AUGUST 16, 2011 @ 03:22 PM | 24 COMMENTS


I finally get privacy, at home there is too much negativity between my Mother and I. All because I wouldn't tell her how much my new sleeve cost me, when really she blew up on me because my parents are having financial problems and need to take it out on me by threatening to slap my face and thinking that they should have left me at the air port.
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I choose to keep my spending habits to myself, the only money I earn, goes towards school books, transportation to get to school, my personal things and now my half sleeve tattoo I started two weeks ago. I have one year left of school, 2012 in the Fall to be exact for my certificate. I'm planning to leave California the next chance I choose to fly out of state. I went out of my way to even ask the o'l man to help me find a place to live when I'm done. But to be honest I do not want to live in Vegas, I just want to fix things between us and get back together. Even though you guys will tell me that I'm a idiot. If you know me personally, our relationship is not what you really think it is.

I wont be able to share all of my pictures from my Portland trip because one: all of my pictures are at home on my computer, two: I did not take as many pictures as I thought I would on my trip, three: Target suck! at developing disposable cameras, and four:I did not want to look like a tourist. even though I'am one.

Target never made my cd, so I could up load my pictures to the internet. I had to walk back up to them ask them to do it again. Oh and the jack ass who did developed my pictures never finished the end of my trip. Im really bummed out about never getting the picture of me and Casper because I have a lot of respect for her and love towards her. We have know each other going on six years now and I love every minuet of it.

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Let me try and refresh my memory of how my trip went, I even told Casper I had no expectations for the trip. All I wanted to do was hang out with the ladies and get tattooed.

*Flew in Sunday early- had a cab driver who only spoke German!!! bleh! thought I would never find my destination, then slept the rest of the day when I got to the house.

* Monday night- went to the Low Brow Lounge to give Silencia her birthday present of a painting I did of a virgin Mary... and to my surprise Lyxzen was also there! love then I met 1sailor

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* Tuesday- Toxic and I took her puppies for a walk, then got coffee, stopped at the park and then headed to the river for a dip

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* Wensday- headed to work with my friend Isaias where he works at the Gold Door, great shop! then walked down to Soviergn Tattoo to start my half sleeve and cover my bracelet that I have been wanting to get rid of. The only time I get real butterflies is when i visit friends out of state and my tattoo artist Hawk. He is easy on the eyes! biggrin

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*Thursday-Casper picked me up, got pizza and hit the mall for girl time and do damage to our wallets, while I did. Im still wanting a I <3 Portland shirt!!!

*Friday- was a chill day, Casper had to work and had appointments.

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*Saturday- got breakfast with the gang at Roxy a second time for me, then more shopping!

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*Sunday- Fly home early. and now I'm here house sitting for family, taking care of four monsters!


XOXO Mckenzie P.S I will add the pictures later to my album when i can get access. So you can see more of my trip.
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