Family Ties that don't Bind



I just had an hour long texting session with my 17 year old niece, who is about to turn 18.
I would describe her as, the little girl with thick hair, that use to love to play basketball, and would shy away when you teased her about boys. She is now, and forgive me how i describe or judge her to draw a mental image. Thin, slight, tomboyish, Gay, as if she just popped out of a ghetto rap video and is all about bling, and Puerto Rican girls, covered in random tattoos, on her arms and neck, and chest with short cropped hair that has been razored to a trendy shape to frame her face, You could easily mistake her for a boy., which is exactly what she is aiming for.

I need to fill in the gaps of her life and my brief relationship with her to give this story a better foundation. I hope she finds this post and isn't embarrassed by it, Seeing she's so tough and all i think she can take it.

Her mother is a the occasional crackhead now since the past few decades since she has been in her early 20's to now at the age of 44. Her biological father was a Slum dealer a person who sells fake jewelry to suckers and a hustler and is now incarcerated.

Her mother has abandoned her several times in her life, either for drugs, a man or being incarcerated or in rehab. She has gotten in street fights, done drugs, turned tricks in her presence, Physically fought her own daughter all in the name of crack, has stolen her first paycheck for drugs. she has stolen her innocence by exposing her to selfish lifestyle.
I'm saying her parents are not worth shit. However there was a spell when she was mother of the year, and was even a lunch mom, but that just makes it worse when you know what your missing when your mother up and gets breast implants to impress her 22 year old boyfriend.
and leaves her stepfather who was the only source of stability, who later dies alone of cancer.

She hasn't had an easy life by far. About a year ago when i got my driving license i tried to make an effort to see her at least once a month to be some sort of role model to her. She was too busy being a teen and caught up in love with a girl who wasn't even gay, but stringing her along. Getting in fights, missing school, pretty much fucking up her future. so i wasn't going to force her to spend time with me, I figured when she was ready she would come around when she was.
All i really know about her is what i see on Face Book and what my mother tells me.

She texts and talks pretty ghetto, she has never lived in the ghetto, but you wouldn't know that, she mimics something out of prison and comes off hard core, that coupled with her appearance leaves a lot of room for judgment.

She is now filling out college applications and trying to get funding for college. Her mother hasn't worked a day in her life since she was 16. unless you count stripping for drugs.
she has never payed taxes, and she collects welfare and money for a disability that she does not have. She basically conned all the right people to get approved for mental disability.

Our argument was about some comments and things she wrote on facebook, not so much the profanity as the context she wrote them in.

stuff like this
"ugh my fuckin 2nd semester is so shitty grad project semirar,english 4, and human behavior can all suck my dick even tho i dnt have one lol its ball good still on top of my shit knockin these scholarships out n getting them grades too focused to fuck up no0w"



I told my mother that i didn't like the comments she left on my page because they sounded way ghetto, and i was embarrassed and that now that she is applying for schools and funding that HR directors and Schools now research the web, and social networks, and the way she presents herself could hurt her later on.
my mother agreed and told her, and she got pissed at the way i handled it. I don't see how i handled it poorly since after talking to my mother i decided if i told her she wouldn't understand, and was probably best just top let things lay as they were.
well she obvious took offense to me even mentioning anything to my mother, never mind see my point.
She just felt that i was judging her and not giving her credit to not carry herself that way in the face of schools and such.

one thing turned into another, and my animosity towards my sister came out, and all the things my sister say's about me to her came out of her mouth. and well it came down to, i don't know her, and she doesn't know me, so why should anyone have anything to say.




I will say this. I come from a life and family of hustlers, it is my shame, and i have done things specific in my life not to be associated with society's negative view of low class culture. I don't have the best english, i didn't go to college, and i am not rich. However i do understand how people judge and how it can hurt you when you want to be respected and get ahead.
If i were in line with another person for a job, and we were both equally qualified, the most eloquent,articulate, well dressed and poised person is going to get the job, that is just the simple facts. there are other ways to be tough and obtain respect without coming across as a thug visually or verbally or on paper. It' not a matter of survival.

Don't blame THE MAN when you can't get ahead because you don't play the game and chose ignorance instead.

Peace Out.