I have so much to say. So very much to say. Bear with me.

Stop trying to fill the void. It's impossible to do. You will only hurt yourself and whoever you are trying to shove in the hole that's left there. There is a hole there, deal with it. Don't dwell on it. By spending your time trying to force something in that giant, gaping hole, you are just going to rip it open even more. Just accept that it's going to take time for it to close up. It's going to be a hell of a time and it's going to hurt, but healing always does.

It's easier to justify when you turn the other person into a monster. It's easier to hate them when you've painted them with fangs and claws in your mind. Really, they aren't the beast you've imagined. They are just like you. You've got just as many faults as they do. Get off of your pedestal and get a clue. You've fucked up too. You've hurt others too. You've hurt them. Stop pretending that they weren't worth your time. Stop pretending that you thought they were horrible all along. You didn't. You loved them. You still do. It's just easier to "get over" them when you can make them out to be a bloodsucking devil.

Don't feel bad for being hurt. It doesn't make you weak. So what, you can't pretend that nothing happened and walk around with a giant Miss America smile all the time? That doesn't make you pathetic. You aren't being stupid when you get that little pain in your heart when you find something they've left behind. There are a lot of memories there. Good ones, believe it or not. Trying to deny those feelings is not going to make them go away. They are going to fester and eat at your insides like a malicious virus, and they will kill you, maybe not literally, but you are either going to wish you were dead or you are going to be emotionally devastated. When you look down and find the little ring they gave you, smile, cry, and go on. When you see the blood stain on the pillow case next to you, laugh because it was funny when they had a nose bleed in the middle of sex, cry because they aren't there, and go on.

Most of all, realize, it's not the end. You've got shit to do. Lots of shit. Pay those bills, clean your living room, study, finish your work, watch Paranormal State reruns, drink at your friends birthday party and end up on the bathroom floor and wake up the next day going "What the FUCK?". Do it all. Don't do it to try and look normal. Do it because now you have time to do whatever you want. You can just nurse that hangover on your couch in your undies with your cats and back to back episodes of "The Exterminators". You can. It's time to figure out what it is you want to do, who you are, and where you are going. It's time to build a real life around yourself, and not someone else. Sometimes, you both just need to have time to figure out who you are again before you can figure out if you fit together. It may take weeks, months, years, but someday, you may grow into two people who can love each other AND be together.

Of course, all of this is coming from a girl who decided to put her ear bud in her bellybutton just now.