IPOD
RADIO
PICS
Not until I hung up the phone did I realize that I had called only to hear one sentence - "I miss you." But I didn't hear it.
It's been one hell of a year.
In the space of 12 months, my darling grandmother and one of my best friends both passed away - two people I would have given my life for but who couldn't be saved. I ended a year and a half-long relationship with someone I loved deeply, experienced yet another (and this time fairly serious) falling out with my ultra-conservative parents, spent a good deal of time in pain due to a kidney infection and my current cracked-up state, lost my car to irreparable engine damage, watched my GPA plummet from a 3.8 to a 2.98 during the last semester, got back into debt, found that I'm not able to go to school this fall because of financial aid difficulties, and under duress quit the best-paying job I've had.
There were numerous days in the last several months when I felt that it was all I could do just to climb out of bed in the morning, and when even a normal day's responsibilities and usual despondence became all but unbearable.
It's okay, though. I've gradually reached the realization that my life can be as beautiful as I want it to be.
You never know what you'll receive. I became a godmother on Friday to a little boy named Teyokin Edawh. His name makes me laugh, his mother's pride makes me smile, and I'm left wondering at the way circumstances change.
Last Thursday my best friend and I celebrated her 26th birthday; I serenaded her with (poorly played) tunes on my ukulele and presented her with a unicorn pinata which she promptly named Baby Leonard Reynolds. (Yes, it's a long story). I laughed more than I have in months, until my face hurt and my eyes were watering.
Choosing to live is fucking amazing. (Cue inspirational harp music here.) No really, it is. I'm no longer afraid to make new friends, to fall for someone, to change whatever I choose to in my life. I can - and will - accomplish whatever I want. If I'm alive, I can do anything.
And all of you - don't forget it either.
In the space of 12 months, my darling grandmother and one of my best friends both passed away - two people I would have given my life for but who couldn't be saved. I ended a year and a half-long relationship with someone I loved deeply, experienced yet another (and this time fairly serious) falling out with my ultra-conservative parents, spent a good deal of time in pain due to a kidney infection and my current cracked-up state, lost my car to irreparable engine damage, watched my GPA plummet from a 3.8 to a 2.98 during the last semester, got back into debt, found that I'm not able to go to school this fall because of financial aid difficulties, and under duress quit the best-paying job I've had.
There were numerous days in the last several months when I felt that it was all I could do just to climb out of bed in the morning, and when even a normal day's responsibilities and usual despondence became all but unbearable.
It's okay, though. I've gradually reached the realization that my life can be as beautiful as I want it to be.
You never know what you'll receive. I became a godmother on Friday to a little boy named Teyokin Edawh. His name makes me laugh, his mother's pride makes me smile, and I'm left wondering at the way circumstances change.
Last Thursday my best friend and I celebrated her 26th birthday; I serenaded her with (poorly played) tunes on my ukulele and presented her with a unicorn pinata which she promptly named Baby Leonard Reynolds. (Yes, it's a long story). I laughed more than I have in months, until my face hurt and my eyes were watering.
Choosing to live is fucking amazing. (Cue inspirational harp music here.) No really, it is. I'm no longer afraid to make new friends, to fall for someone, to change whatever I choose to in my life. I can - and will - accomplish whatever I want. If I'm alive, I can do anything.
And all of you - don't forget it either.
