PICS
So:
I have a Tumblr page now. It's fun, I'm figuring it out. Follow me there if you want:
Deerwitch.tumblr.com
I know, it's cliched as all fuck but I'm past caring about that sort of thing.
Recently, I:
-went on a five mile uphill hike while carrying my baby in a sling!
-baked pineapple carrot flaxseed muffins
-made a little extra scrilla from selling clothes bound for the dumpster
-collaged flyers for an upcoming zine library benefit (I was inspired to glue Lily Allen's face in Gwen Stefani's crotch).
-hated on some conservative male godbags. It would make my day if somebody shot Rick Santorum or Rush Limbaugh in the face. Or really, any male politician.
-saw the first buttercups of spring!
A dread mullet may be in my near future...
I have a Tumblr page now. It's fun, I'm figuring it out. Follow me there if you want:
Deerwitch.tumblr.com
I know, it's cliched as all fuck but I'm past caring about that sort of thing.
Recently, I:
-went on a five mile uphill hike while carrying my baby in a sling!
-baked pineapple carrot flaxseed muffins
-made a little extra scrilla from selling clothes bound for the dumpster
-collaged flyers for an upcoming zine library benefit (I was inspired to glue Lily Allen's face in Gwen Stefani's crotch).
-hated on some conservative male godbags. It would make my day if somebody shot Rick Santorum or Rush Limbaugh in the face. Or really, any male politician.
-saw the first buttercups of spring!
A dread mullet may be in my near future...
First things first:
Motherhood is amazing.
It's also scary as fuck.
Nobody told me - or maybe they did, and I just didn't understand - that having a child is like getting a sizable chunk of your heart torn out, watching it grow legs, and walk off into the world. I love my daughter more than anything else I can imagine, and at the same time I feel extremely vulnerable. Fragile, and a little scared.
One of my good friends has been obsessed with researching fringe cults recently, and gave me some of the material she dug up. I would have been more interested in this stuff a few years ago, but I read it anyway. Until I got to some graphic descriptions of ritual abuse of children. I just couldn't handle it. The idea of someone else's children being so destroyed. It struck too close to home.
Anyway, life is good. My daughter is beautiful , and STRONG. At two months she's already holding her head up constantly, rolling over, even creeping across the floor (she wiggles and pulls herself forward by her knees and elbows). She's chubby and happy and social. She loves being in public places and around large groups of people. Already she's learning what took me years to know.
Lots of things are changing, but for now I'm content just to follow the flow and let them happen. We might be permanently settling on the coast, or we might be moving to Guam for a few years (my partner's family is Chamorro) and I'm also working on applying to grad schools.
But after giving birth, I feel like my life has begun again. Not to be too sappy about it, but it's definitely one of the most defining moments in my life, if not the most. I had a very long, intense labor - 44 hours, in fact. I was planning to have a natural birth in a birthing center, but when things just weren't progressing after 30 hours we moved to the hospital, where I was dosed with Pitocin. Still, it was almost 12 hours later by the time I began the final process of getting the spawn out of me! Baby had been stuck at my cervix and I narrowly escaped a caesarean. The nurse had actually brought in booties and a surgical mask for my partner, in preparation for moving me to the OR, and minutes later I was able to begin pushing.
None of that mattered once I saw her for the first time. Tiny and red and covered in her own poop, she squinted up at me with those opaque new-baby eyes and stole my heart. The first few weeks were a little rough, but it was worth it. It was all worth it. Lavender Xula, 8 lb, 20 inches.
By the way, if any of you feel so inclined, here's a few pregnancy pictures on my friend's blog: Rosewood Beast. We were spending the day at my farm and she took a few snapshots on her small digital camera for fun. She's a talented photographer and is releasing a book soon!
Check out more of her photos at Rosewood Beast Photography.
I'd write more, but lately my writing has been something more personal, something I'm less willing to share. Anyway, Casper is having a baby, and she's written about the process of pregnancy much more and much better than I have. Go give her some love.
Stay wild.
Motherhood is amazing.
It's also scary as fuck.
Nobody told me - or maybe they did, and I just didn't understand - that having a child is like getting a sizable chunk of your heart torn out, watching it grow legs, and walk off into the world. I love my daughter more than anything else I can imagine, and at the same time I feel extremely vulnerable. Fragile, and a little scared.
One of my good friends has been obsessed with researching fringe cults recently, and gave me some of the material she dug up. I would have been more interested in this stuff a few years ago, but I read it anyway. Until I got to some graphic descriptions of ritual abuse of children. I just couldn't handle it. The idea of someone else's children being so destroyed. It struck too close to home.
Anyway, life is good. My daughter is beautiful , and STRONG. At two months she's already holding her head up constantly, rolling over, even creeping across the floor (she wiggles and pulls herself forward by her knees and elbows). She's chubby and happy and social. She loves being in public places and around large groups of people. Already she's learning what took me years to know.
Lots of things are changing, but for now I'm content just to follow the flow and let them happen. We might be permanently settling on the coast, or we might be moving to Guam for a few years (my partner's family is Chamorro) and I'm also working on applying to grad schools.
But after giving birth, I feel like my life has begun again. Not to be too sappy about it, but it's definitely one of the most defining moments in my life, if not the most. I had a very long, intense labor - 44 hours, in fact. I was planning to have a natural birth in a birthing center, but when things just weren't progressing after 30 hours we moved to the hospital, where I was dosed with Pitocin. Still, it was almost 12 hours later by the time I began the final process of getting the spawn out of me! Baby had been stuck at my cervix and I narrowly escaped a caesarean. The nurse had actually brought in booties and a surgical mask for my partner, in preparation for moving me to the OR, and minutes later I was able to begin pushing.
None of that mattered once I saw her for the first time. Tiny and red and covered in her own poop, she squinted up at me with those opaque new-baby eyes and stole my heart. The first few weeks were a little rough, but it was worth it. It was all worth it. Lavender Xula, 8 lb, 20 inches.
By the way, if any of you feel so inclined, here's a few pregnancy pictures on my friend's blog: Rosewood Beast. We were spending the day at my farm and she took a few snapshots on her small digital camera for fun. She's a talented photographer and is releasing a book soon!
Check out more of her photos at Rosewood Beast Photography.
I'd write more, but lately my writing has been something more personal, something I'm less willing to share. Anyway, Casper is having a baby, and she's written about the process of pregnancy much more and much better than I have. Go give her some love.
Stay wild.
Hi!
Jesus, how long has it been since I posted here? I wanted to write you a really beautiful blog entry about the place in the northwestern forest where I'm now living off the grid, and about how much of a scary primitivist asshole I'm becoming, and how I never take pictures of any sort anymore. Mostly I wanted to leave you with some beautiful word pictures about my life and travels, but I'll let those evocative blog entries be written by people like Casper, who are much better at it.
Here's a photo, okay?
Note: this is not my forest of residence
Jesus, how long has it been since I posted here? I wanted to write you a really beautiful blog entry about the place in the northwestern forest where I'm now living off the grid, and about how much of a scary primitivist asshole I'm becoming, and how I never take pictures of any sort anymore. Mostly I wanted to leave you with some beautiful word pictures about my life and travels, but I'll let those evocative blog entries be written by people like Casper, who are much better at it.
Here's a photo, okay?
Note: this is not my forest of residence
I ventured out of the woods recently to do some shoots. Well, not quite, I suppose.Check it out
How are all of you?
Edit: you can see some photos of me here, done by my talented friend. I'm not the best in all of them, but it was fun playing with a camera in the woods. I'm planning on shooting another SG set with this friend - except that we have to wait till winter, and that's all I'm telling you.
I'm not sure what else to tell you, except that I'm becoming less and less interested in digital technology.
How are all of you?
Edit: you can see some photos of me here, done by my talented friend. I'm not the best in all of them, but it was fun playing with a camera in the woods. I'm planning on shooting another SG set with this friend - except that we have to wait till winter, and that's all I'm telling you.
I'm not sure what else to tell you, except that I'm becoming less and less interested in digital technology.
Hello, my loves...
These are sets that I think need to go live, and if you haven't checked them out yet, then you're just cheating yourself.
(Excuse the photos that haven't been resized; I'm trying but the Internet hates me today).
Noidd
I've been loving this lady for a while, and this is one of her best sets yet.
Drave and Porphyria
If you've never been into cyber goth eyebrows, then now is the time.
Kiley
Because SG needs more ladies of varying sizes on the front page, and who doesn't love a cute girl lost in the forest?
Milloux
This is cute and sweet and adorable, and I love lady-on-lady romance.
Galda
Because I love full figured ladies, and this one is totally girl-next-door, if the girl next door had pink hair and a scrumptious booty.
Opaque
Total nerdgasm. Opaque is enthralling, always.
Vertebra
Because this is dark and moody and sexy in the best way.
The Spring Set Contest is approaching; vote for your favorites! (And don't forget my set: Ani Yunwitsandsdi.
As for me:
A friend is doing a complicated stick-and-poke tattoo for me on Monday.
I'm working on a communal farm.
I'm planning on visiting Mexico, Palau and Guam this summer; my in-laws live in Guam and I can't wait to see where my partner grew up.
List of books I'm hoping to read in the next month or two:
Dreaming the Dark: Magic, Sex and Politics - Starhawk
The Mansion of Happiness: Poems - Robin Ekiss
The Fat Studies Reader, edited by Esther Rothblum
The Botany of Desire - Michael Pollan
The Last Train from Hiroshima - Charles Pellegrino
The Heart of a Dog - Mikhail Bulgakov
Soul Mountain - Gao Xingjian
The True Deceiver - Tove Jansson
The Preacher: Ancient History - Garth Ennis
What's the last book you read? What's your favorite book of all time?
Oh, and...Myspace
Facebook
Model Mayhem
I'm not going to guarantee that I'll add you on any of these profiles, but say "hello" and I might.
These are sets that I think need to go live, and if you haven't checked them out yet, then you're just cheating yourself.
(Excuse the photos that haven't been resized; I'm trying but the Internet hates me today).
Noidd
I've been loving this lady for a while, and this is one of her best sets yet.
Drave and Porphyria
If you've never been into cyber goth eyebrows, then now is the time.
Kiley
Because SG needs more ladies of varying sizes on the front page, and who doesn't love a cute girl lost in the forest?
Milloux
This is cute and sweet and adorable, and I love lady-on-lady romance.
Galda
Because I love full figured ladies, and this one is totally girl-next-door, if the girl next door had pink hair and a scrumptious booty.
Opaque
Total nerdgasm. Opaque is enthralling, always.
Vertebra
Because this is dark and moody and sexy in the best way.
The Spring Set Contest is approaching; vote for your favorites! (And don't forget my set: Ani Yunwitsandsdi.
As for me:
A friend is doing a complicated stick-and-poke tattoo for me on Monday.
I'm working on a communal farm.
I'm planning on visiting Mexico, Palau and Guam this summer; my in-laws live in Guam and I can't wait to see where my partner grew up.
List of books I'm hoping to read in the next month or two:
Dreaming the Dark: Magic, Sex and Politics - Starhawk
The Mansion of Happiness: Poems - Robin Ekiss
The Fat Studies Reader, edited by Esther Rothblum
The Botany of Desire - Michael Pollan
The Last Train from Hiroshima - Charles Pellegrino
The Heart of a Dog - Mikhail Bulgakov
Soul Mountain - Gao Xingjian
The True Deceiver - Tove Jansson
The Preacher: Ancient History - Garth Ennis
What's the last book you read? What's your favorite book of all time?
Oh, and...Myspace
Model Mayhem
I'm not going to guarantee that I'll add you on any of these profiles, but say "hello" and I might.
