MY LIFE IS MY OWN AGAIN.

hurrah.

no more college, ever again. bring on the longest summer ever, full of sun, sex and loose morals.

i can honestly say, i couldn't be more excited..

this time tomorrow i shall be in greece.

family business. my sister's baptism is sunday, so i basically just used it as an excuse to buy a fantastic new dress.

i think i've had the most stressful week of this year. everything went so wrong, and then it all suddenly went so right. i still have a long way to go, but i can see the end, and it doesn't look so scary at all.

i am shooting a new set with akemi on thursday, at my humble abode, and am already deciding whether to do staff review again, or throw myself to the wolves in member review. i shall see how i feel when the set is shot.
i had a few weeks where i had a gazillion photoshoots, and now i have none booked. it's amazing, in a way, becuase i get to relax. although, i'm seriously missing the money. i might actually have to turn up at work sometime soon.

i tried several times to write a blog this week, but every time i typed it out and read it back, i sounded like an idiot. i thought it was better to go MIA, than write a bunch of bullshit that i resented.

"And we stood at your door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew...that you meant it. "


somebody text me this, and i can't think about anything else but them thesedays.

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep, but not before we exorcised the evil thing that everyone hides
We would lie there in my bed,
Do you remember all those nights we never slept
No clothes, sweaty, doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them with you

And hey, don't feel bad.
No one can ever take away the boardwalk trips or the subways
I think we grew up past the hang-ups and the evil stares,
The fuck you toos and I don't cares
We would lie there in my bed
Do you remember all those nights we never slept
No clothes, sweaty, doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them with you

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep, but not before we exorcised the evil thing that everyone hides
We would lie there in my bed,
Do you remember all those nights we never slept

And even though we brought it crashing to an end I loved it all
And now I love my friend
I loved it all, I loved the girl, I loved my friend

this song actually makes me so sad.
it came on in my car after going out last night and i was like ohhh.

the last few days have been awesome, i can't wait til the end of college- only one official day left!
and i totally did some work yesterday and the day before. it's all back on track,
thank you for all your support!!!!!!!!!!

kisses xx

i feel like shoving my grandmother into a closet and leaving her there forever.

my week of relaxation is not exactly going to plan.
i miss lee(boyfriend) terribly, and it kiiinda hasn;t helped that when i spoke to him he told me about all these english girls at his hotel that they've been hanging out with and getting stupidly drunk with. being on a guy's holiday, of course that's what's going to happen. and it's not like i don't trust him, i just wish i was having that much fun.

i've done no college work. and i have three days left of college, my garment to finish, my board to paint, and my sketchbook to fill up. shit.

scrath that, two and a half days of college left. i forgot i'm helping someone with an interview at MAC tomorrow.

my grandmother IS driving me insane though. every five seconds she's having a go at me about something new. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i'd better start my patchwork. i feel sick at the thought of facing my tutors. please don't let me fail, i need to pass to get into uni.

i have a whole week to myself.

no parents, and no boyfriend.

i'm going to miss them, but it's awesome just to have a whole week to chill the fuck out.

i haven't taken any photos recently, my camera has been lonely.
i think my life has been way too dull to document. it's almost like i don't want to have any evidence of how boring this week has been; as usually i take photos every day.

i'm just sitting listening to jack's mannequin in my underwear, eating some frozen yoghurt and drinking orange juice out of the carton. this is the life.
[edited to add some photos that i just got from a photographer]











i threw a nudey one in there, i'm in that kind of mood today.

i'm such a narcissist.

i never thought i was vain, but i am unbelievably so. and definitely pretentious at times. i wonder when i turned into all the people that i laugh at?

i had a photoshoot today with can evgin. he was awesome.
we had a wonderfully funny time. although, i couldnt find his apartment, and i burst into tears in the middle of london because none of the buildings had numbers. so a nice gentleman came and helped me find it.

so keiko's thingymajiggy was last night, and i met some very funny people.

i almost fell asleep on the road driving home though, and i managed to get alllll the way back with my petrol gauge on empty.

that was fifty miles. pretty impressive eh? i did drive about 22 mph though. alllllll they way back.

lee is coming over now i don't know why i'm so excited. i'm weird.












the guy above was awesome. and Bow's face as he was talking to her was just priceless.

good times.

my grandmother has left some horrific war programme on. but i'm far too lazy to turn it off.

i've given up chocolate for my pseudo lent. pseudo lent is basically where i want to go on a diet, but don't want to admit to myself that i've gained weight, it all makes sense in my head, but i think i'm going slightly crazy. just maybe.

my friend floored jodie marsh in starbucks last week.

jodie (we're obviously on first name terms now) walked through the door and barged past my friend kylie, and kylie forcefully knocked her down, not realising who it was. obviously hilarity ensued.

oh she's such an idiot. jodie, that is. not kylie. kylie is my new personal hero after that.

i was just thinking about it this morning and i kept bursting into little fits of giggles.


i'm pulling a sicky today. it's going to be the best day ever. although i have work at 3, so it's not all fun and games.

i was also laughing at these old photos of me this morning, all jokes aside though, i may dye my hair back they way it used to be. oh and excuse all the makeup. god knows what i was thinking.







opinions please?

tomorrow will be a new day

also, i'm the biggest pussy you'll ever meet. but i went to thorpe park, and i went on stealth. i did cry, and it was stupidly lame, but you dont know how scared i was. so i thought that was good that i actually grew a spine and did it



i did chicken out of the slammer one though. i went with a group of boys and even they just hovered near the entrance of the ride, not really wanting to go on. so they 'kept me company' while two of the brave ones went on, and the rest of us watched from below. it looked horrific.




walkabout in temple is the plan tomorrow night, who's out?