I'm sorry you're in so much pain. The worst pain I've ever been in was from an infected, impacted wisdom tooth. I was alone, a continent away from my family, living in an apartment by myself, and it was bad when I went to bed, and I finally gave up sleeping around 4am, and called a friend for advice as soon as I felt it was polite, around 10. I was in so much pain that I pretty much sobbed incoherently when she came to pick me up and take me to the hospital. They gave me some drugs, and after a while it faded down to something manageable; nothing about the wisdom tooth extraction was as painful as that experience.

I guess there was also the time I fractured both bones in my right forearm, and the doctor gave me morphine and then set the bone, but that was only intense for a very short time, so it wasn't as bad. The pain after surgery to set the bone was hardly bearable, but I knew that it would fade down, so I could bear it. I've been through that twice, once for my arm and once for my collarbone.

Anyway, I hope that the pain you are in dies down and lets you out of its grasp and lets you be free to enjoy the feeling of not being in pain again.

Nothing like yours

Walking on the freshly torn ligaments in my ankle I guess. Dropping a 30 lb tool on my finger and splitting the tip open hurt but not for long. I don't remember back when I broke my wrist.

Hey L, whats up? What has you ill? Is it fixable?

As I age, I believe forgetfulness and dreaming are great gifts !
I have loved your drawing for some time.
especially *posters* - if you know what I mean ?
sweet sleep and creativity for you

be well in you
love to see you
- C

I was a 10yo child, full of life and happy when it started and a 12yo depressive boy when it stopped. Two years, two black years, two pain years, the worst years of my life.
All started after an appendicitis, common opperation that has had serious consequences: intestinal obstruction. (on adhesion)

Hard night and stomach pain when moving.
My parents have not believed me (i could walk) until I vomiting the dinner (stuffed tomatoes with rice) on the table, the lunch on the kitchen floor and chronologically all my meals on the way to the bathroom.

Spasm.Vomit. Spasm. Vomit. Spasm. I vomited. I vomited everything. Spasm. When you have nothing in the belly the body finds something to vomit: bile, my bile. Spasm. At that point every muscle in my body were painful and my oesophagus in fire.
But this was nothing in comparison with the pain in my belly. Every movement of my legs, every twitch were mortal. Not really good combined with spasm.
When my liver had no more bile, my body find something to vomit: blood.
I vomited blood... in a stainless-steel bowl, we were at hospital and my life, the world, the univers were totaly dedicated to dread the next spasm.

I was ten years old and that's the worst pain i have ever been in.

Except,

the second time,
the third time,
the fourth time...
dozens times, I have not counted during these fu.... two years.

Only two surgery, i'm lucky. Most of them are passed with catheter, from nose to intestine, locked on a bed.


Much later in my life I realized that a part of me has never left the hospital bed.

Hope you feel better missy.

I can;t begin to fathom what you're going through. Pain. I've had my share—but it sounds like you have more than yours. I had an inflammation of nerves once that made it impossible for me to stand without blacking out from pain, and all the hydrocodone they prescribed me did was make me nauseous and make the world spin around my head when I turned it too fast. Similar things happened when I had a tooth abscess (root canals, yay.).


But the biggest pains in my life have always been more emotional than physical.
I wish we could come to where you are and make you feel better. I hope you're on the mend, and know that there are people who are sending you their thoughts and such with as much positive energy as possible.

You are a remarkable, beautiful person who deserves to live without this.