Hi! I'm still here,
...in between the lines of the many worlds I currently occupy.

A lot has happened within the past few months.
I went from having no job, to having a job that teaches me so much every day I'm there.
I've gone from living with family to not having a pair of keys of my own, at all.
I traded in my facebook page for a twitter account... (I never thought I'd do that, but here we are.)
I've still got a love/hate relationship with fear. The fear to stand up for myself, whenever I feel threatened.
I know that ever day is a new chance to accept the fear for what it really is: Facing the fear. It's not an easy task, but I am slowly tackling this evasive road block.
I am more aware of myself, and my surroundings, a little every day.
I managed to traveled all the way out of the clusterfuck that is the city, into overwhelming silence, isolation, and tranquility... Had some of the greatest experiences of my life, and then back to the lovely concrete jungle. All within the matter of a week.

My eyes... I'm learning truly open up when I'm out side of my comfort zone... my security blanket... that which is my floating apathy.
I often wonder what's going to happen to me now. Am I going to rise to the challenge whenever opposing forces drawn in for the kill? How much strength do I really have in there? Am I all talk and no walk? And what the fuck am I doing? Everything is flashing through my eyes so fast that it is more and more impossible for me to believe that there ever was a thing as stop motion. And yet, I am able to see things in stop motion now...
This year, specifically, my life seems to have warped it into another time frame... I've never been surrounded with such rapid and life altering change, and the only thing I can say about it all; The good the bad, the embarrassing, the victorious... is that life is what you make of it. Mine is an absolute beauty!

I realize that my reality, and true reality are kind of out of sync. Subconsciously, I know what I want to do with my life, but it sure as hell doesn't seem like I do!.
And yet, I've decided that, as hard as it is, I need to buckle down in the city for a year or two, or three, and set a plan into place that will steer me in the right direction for the years to come. Who knows. Maybe I'll move back to Montreal for another few months between now and a few years forward. I might just stay here for that entire period, and devote a good chunk of time to developing a stronger foundation.
Because my plans in the future are to gear up, set sail and aim for my treasure in life:
Before even trying to reveal what that is to both you and I, I must set myself on course!
Life's about to get even crazier! Bring it on, I say!



On another note,
This guy's coming to town on December 6. I'm going to try and get tickets for his show. I've never bought concert tickets before, but its never too late to have a first. I am just really captivated by his style of music, and this song, in particular:

So, I MUST!

Until next time,
I love you!
xoxo


“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”
— Alan Watts

Ummmm... So about that update...

I'm having such trouble trying to find a way to describe how wonderful life is.
Nature, work, love, friends, progression... you'll have to piece the rest together haha.
I am having more and more crazy spiritual experiences, and it actually makes me feel like I'm going insane...

No its not drugs! Its something beyond the comfort of the body. Truly amazing!... But again words can't be used any more to try and paint a picture of the deeply situated enlightenment that I've been feeling.
I'm going camping on Sunday with my boyfriend and a meduim sized group of people. And I am soooo ready to leave the city... I don't belong in the city... not at all! I can't wait to live off the land. Mmmmmmmmm
*mind wandering off to nature*

Guess what, SG?!
My wifey, Elliott is in MR, and Hot Damn, she is a serious swoon monster!

(Whenever she makes that face, I literally die inside!)
Go see her, and show her love, and big hugs! Camera Play

Also, Vice... Who could forget her?
Just look at her... I die every time I do...
Damned


Eddison, forerly known as Juju FINALLY has another set in MR. It just went up. I took a look at it and omg... was I ever blown away! I love her so much! And what a crazy beautiful set!
Postcards from Sydney

Do me a favor, and show her lots and lots of love, as well! Merci!

One Piece is pretty bad ass lately as well.

I have to give props to Oda- the show's creator, for not making the female characters in the show side line characters. They all have their own amazing strengths, and are able to stand up for themselves, knowing that they are a part of a team- All for one and one for all. That's my new motto as I continue to learn.

Lots of love,
xoxo

P.S
If you get the chance at night, look up at the sky! There is a meteor shower happening til the 24th of August, and I'm looking to get my sights set on a couple of falling stars myself.

“In fact, my soul and yours are the same,
You appear in me, I in you,
We hide in each other.”
— Rumi

Hey Gang!

Huge update to come very soon. Ran out of time today. Damn having to go to work...
For now,

Self shot back in February in Montreal after Dormant Power was shot. Its past 900 comments! Wow! a huge thank you for all the heartfelt support! I truly appreciate it!

Love you!
See and talk soon!
xo

I know I'm not the greatest at getting back at everyone. Been really busy, and plan on keeping the same pace for a little while. Lots to come! Life is beautiful!

"Visible Mystery"

Take one step forward, three steps back. Then all of a sudden, you begin to fly!
Keep on learning. Never Stop!

Its time for me to try something new... Break away from my comfort zone.
See you on the other side!
Much love

Fucking Right! Its the First Weekend of Summer!
Pride is in Toronto, next weekend! Might make my way over there and see what's going on a little later.
Swapped the beach for watching a storm go over Toronto with my boyfriend. Hoping to make it to the beach tomorrow...


-This lady is amazing! So happy that her and IvyLlamas were able to collaborate! And really happy to know her ! Give her lovee!
Alle Yo Mi Y Yo Misma


I'm learning about the first and second Chakras at the moment. Learning so much about my past, and how its impacted my life; for good and bad. I'm on a journey of Self Mastery. Complete from head to toe!
No matter, my past, and all that I've yet to put to rest, I am who I am: body, mind, and soul. I am bound to make a few people upset, and butt heads with a few people along this journey. Change helps me evolve, and I am proud to say that change has helped me learn how to truly love myself for who I am. I think I'm on the right path. To my friends and family, I say, "Thank you for putting up with me!"





[You can see that I have Birthmarks on my eyes]

I also have a birth mark on my shoulder that resembles a blotchy version of this:




And for anyone who likes Sonic the Hedgehog, today, he turns 21. :3


I love how Luffy has an afro at some points in OP!

There's a lot of love in the air! I want to help it flow smoothly!
Much love! Enjoy the weekend!
xo

HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE!
(My favourite day of the year)

Just wanted a very quick update.
1. I've been checking here every day to see if In the Cold Of Morning Light Has gone live yet. PLEASE, staff! Marlene is an angel, and I would like to see her on FP again!



2. I got a job at a healthy food store! BUT, I am currently playing the waiting game, because I'll be opening up a new store in a really popular area in Toronto. Can't wait to get started! I bought a Natural Remedy Sourcebook, and I have been looking through it to prep for my new encounter.

3. I am becoming SUCH a hippie! I don't really like tie dye clothes or anything, but I'm starting to refer to the higher power that I've been questioning as The Universe. Love, energies, being good to your body to help nurture a highly functional and healthy spirituality. I'm starting to change all of my views on this life. My Transformation is underway, and as I feel the little leaves and flower buds start to appear I feel closer and closer to myself.

4. I want to start studying Ayurveda- an ancient Indian religion that is intertwined with the Seven Chakras.

5. Today, My bf and I are going to have a nudie date at the beach for the summer solstice. I'm super excited for this!
We both treat this day as a personal holiday



Be back soon!- Time to enjoy some summer loving! (its really hot this week, but I don't really mind, as long as I can be sans clothing!

Afro Love!

Lots of love to all my friends!
xoxo

One last thing I'm adding in. Milloux is a staff photographer now, and I am so happy for her! Yay! So well deserved!

Look who is on the Front page today!!
Please give her all your love!
I know I will be throughout the day!
Finally!
Kurosune- Apollo




In other news, Thanks for the love on my last blog!
I'm wasting way too much time on here...
Is this me...?...


I need to get a life! Get away from SG for a little while! So, after I show Kurosune an extreme amount of love, I'll be back in a few weeks or so.
... Maybe!

Tumblr?

One Love!
xo

Its June!
For the first time in a long time, it's one of those days where once you look out the window, you know its going to rain all day...

Perfect day to reflect:

Despite recently becoming a complete hermit, I have still managed to meet a lot of new people lately.
Meeting Glitch and Tita was lovely! They both have so much joy and positivity to them, that I find very charming!
I've met a lot of other cool SG's, All with their own distinctive personalities. However, there are a few people in general who have really made a strong positive impact on me. One is an SG, three are not.
The SG, I'm talking about is Alle. I'm not sure if you have noticed, but She makes me swoon very hard! From the first time I met her, I felt as though our eyes were flirting to each other, then I went to say hi, and have loved her ever since! So glad I was able to live in Montreal for a few months and see her! I am going back to visit her in the summer.

The First night we met!

Wish I still lived there, but everything happens for a reason, I believe. There was apparently a tornado in Montreal this past weekend...? That is UNheard of! I hope nothing bad ended up happening over there!

I really miss Montreal. My boyfriend and I had the SWEETEST apartment there! Ask Shazzy; That's where we shot this:


I like the lifestyle that my boyfriend and I had there. We were both free to think and be who we wanted to be without judgement, without any outside commitments. We were just both committed to growing. He is working a lot now, and I have no job, so I have to do my best to stay busy and get a job, so that I can stop thinking of the past so much, and work towards the bright future that I know I'm in for.

Hence, the second person I'm talking about is my boyfriend. For the very first few days of January 2011, from the 1st to the 4th, I was beyond pissed, really bitter, apathetic, and just did not give a fuck. All of a sudden, my ego had taken over completely...I was about to go into an angry rabbit hole. I felt as though I was just wasting my life on efforts that I truly believed in. Only to have them thrown back at me all warn out and bruised. -I was through.
I was still actively modeling, and would use Modelmayhem to get most of my contacts at the time, because I sadly could not get an agency to represent me. I decide to take my mind off of the bitterness I had sheltered myself with. As I was browsing the site, I come across my future boyfriend's page. (That sounds so cooool to say!! ) Anyways, the first thing I noticed about him was that in every photo he had up he looked like he was a different person. Like he was good with expression, and that he could get the vision of the photo across so well! So, I let him know, telling him that he has a really diverse , and interesting look. I just wanted to leave it at that, and got something to eat. Only to come back to my computer and have a message back from him saying the same thing for me in return. He asked if I wanted to be in a photo shoot with him, and we were going to meet the next day to talk about it.
When we did meet, the first glimpse of him that I got was probably one of the weirdest feelings I've ever had! I was met with yet a face different from any of this guy's photos, but I knew it was the same guy. So what did I do? I panicked a bit. "What the hell is going on here?" Why did my heart jump and my mind basically scream just now?" The first feeling I had was not a good feeling; Nor was it a bad feeling. I was in complete shock.
We begin talking, and my mind is fixed on, "Okay lets get this photo shoot thing going, bud... This will not be a date. - I bet to my best friend that instead of talking about the photo shoot its going to be a date, then she rebutted that I shouldn't get so ahead of myself. I wasn't! I just had this feeling...
Surely by the end of the night, we had not talked about the photo shoot. We went with my two friends for drinks- when I still drank on a regular basis- and they ended up saying they approved o this guy. Then I blert out, "What? ..." I didn't want what was happening to happen. The first thing I noted about him was that he is a very interesting person. Surely enough; A year and a half later, we are still very much important parts of each others lives. To make this as short as I can make it, our personalities work extremely well together, and I'm really happy that I decided to be open minded enough to get to know him.

He's on the right with the pointed hat. My good friend is the guy on the left
And, silly pictures from last year:


I REALLY need to take more pictures of/with him. Good thing its warmer out now!
The third and forth persons- That is a funny story!
When I turned 22, I went to my favourite bar in Toronto, The Madison. I was suppose to have a lot of people show up for a birthday party, but May is bad timing for parties, because so much is happening after Universities get let out a few weeks before. So two of my friends show up. These two ladies were Japanese, and we were learning Japanese and English off of each other, so it was really nice to see these two there with me! I saw a few of my friends, had a few drinks with them, was blushing at the site of this one server there, and had one of the security guards think that shared mutual feelings towards love... It was a really silly night. As the bar closes, I end up getting a tea at Tim Horton, where I heard Japaneses Conversation. I turned to the sources of the conversation and say, " You... you're Japanese, aren't you? Lets be friends!!" - I was really drunk at this point... So blunt... I know!
Well later that week I became a part time tour guide two Japanese guys, Akira And Takuma. They had to go back to Japan a few weeks after we met, but they were able to see some fireworks for Victoria Day. One night, we even stayed out all night, walked around the neighborhoods of Toronto, and ended up talking about Frederich Nietzsche! I know a lot's happened in Japan since 2010, but I still would like to see them again. I hope they are okay!

Akira is on the right Takuma is on the left


I know that I write my own life story, and that I will be in the place I want to be, so I will press on forward, so that I can achieve the level of success that I'm after. I'm doing my best to be healthy, to be patient, and be knowledgeable.
Just continue to recognize beauty when you see it, and create it, when you cannot find it.

Annnd! Thank you for the love on both of my sets!


Canadian Beavers was a really fun set that was shot in the midst of a thunder storm back on the main land of the city. We made it on the Ferry back into the city just as the rain had hit the island!

Dormant Power is obviously a personal set. I would say this is an expressive set, to the point where there is a bit of sadness or melancholy to it. This was my statement to SG that I am the process of renewal. I have recently had to shed preconceived notions about life, to make way for the strengthening of who I really am.
Dormant Power was my declaration that lifestyle changes needed to be made, if I want to be able to define success for myself.




And guess what?
I'm going to be shooting a set in another month or so. You'll get to see my short hair... AHHH! I am going to further explore myself, spiritually, and so, I am thinking of doing this set outdoors. I know a really beautiful place, where I even saw a humming bird yesterday! I want this set to further demonstrate the slow but steady evolution taking place within me.

These two song are really near and dear to my heart!



I would love to get some of the lyrics to this song tattooed on me. Once I get over my fear of needles...

Going to enjoy the rest of this rainy day, and prepare for the future ahead.
Lots of love, SG
xoxo

Psssst!


Go Check out le Canadian girls Multi!

Canadian Beavers



Its going to be REALLY hot today! Going back to that beach today sounds really nice!


And, I thought this was funny!




Big Loves!
xoxo