Hey, my lovely perverts and porn fiends,
Your darling Lucy is back with a long-antici...







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...pated update. I've been busy as all fuck-out, with new life-changing things to tackle, fabulous new friends, work-work-work galore, floating on the buoyancy of wedded bliss and a deliciously sensational new job...actually, thanks to Suicidegirls! Let me tell you the story:

In June, I worked the booth for SG at the Paradise Toronto Comicon. The booth behind ours, as it happened, was the booth of Canadian television icon Ed the Sock. Liana, the show's cohost and producer, was looking to interview SGs for the show, and I was talking with her about it and asked if I could get to go in the hot tub. (They have a segment on the show where the guests get to party in the hot tub with very sexy, wanton hot tub girls.) Liana's response was, "You want to be a hot tub girl?"
"Well, that wasn't exactly what I was asking", I replied, "but that's even better. Fuck yeah, I wanna be a hot tub girl!"
So now, I get to shoot the next season of Canada's top-rated late-night television show hosted by someone I grew up watching and loving. And Liana is the most badass chick I've ever met. She can school most gamers, knows more about comics than most guys I know, she's smart, she's funny, she's accomplished, and she's hot as hell.

See?


That's her real hair color, too.
So next season, watch Ed and Red's Night Party on Friday and Sunday at 11:30 pm on CityTV in Canada, and 12:30 AM Friday nights on G4 in the USA. You might see a little bit of little old me! Here's me with one of the dancers. She's also Miss Pakistan World.




Ne peektures!

That's all I got today. I'll be around a lot more in later days, I promise.

xoxo
love lucy

Heyo, kiddies. Your lovely Lucy is back from a weekend of delightful debauchery, buggery, saunas, skinnydipping in Muskoka and getting bitten by a bevy of bugs. I COATED myself in some sketchy-looking bug spray and the fuckers STILL took chunks out of me. It looks like a dwarf gave me a hickey on my boob.
I have a shoot this week.
I am therefore cranky with all deer flies.
I wish I could emit a toxin that causes horrible, slow, incredibly painful bug death to any winged, six-legged, exoskeletal asshole that dares to bite me. I AM A VALLEY OF ITCHING! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE ITCHING!
GAH!

I am looking forward to my move across the pond, and learning all sorts of brit swears. It's a veritable art form over there, from what I hear, and holy fuckstain, do I love to cuss.

I'm going to go see Evil Dead:The Musical with a bunch of hot suicidegirls tomorrow. It should be tons of fun.

I got some pictures back from a shoot I did in May.







Hot stuff, huh? The clothing is Plastik Wrap.

I NEED HAIKUS!


xoxo
love lucy

So I'm moving to London, England in the fall.
I've never been out of Canada before.
I'll miss all my Canadian buddies.

I feel like death.
I can't really do much besides lie in state, try not to throw up, and hate life.



xoxo
a deathly sickly lucypants

Hello, my darling perverts!

Hey, did you know that typing on an iBook G4 with half-inch nails is nearly IMPOSSIBLE? I'm quite proud of my large talons, but hot damn do they make it hard to type.

Anyways, wedding photos.

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I spent my birthday at the Paradise Toronto Comicon! It was the greatest birthday a girl could ask for...I got to meet some really rockin' people that do some really awesome things. The highlights for me included meeting Jeph Jaques, creator of the howlingly funny Questionable Content (as well as his lovely ladyfriend), and his equally as accomplished arch-nemesi, Sam Logan of Sam and Fuzzy. Jeph sketched Marten as a Suicideboy for me and was nice enough to pander to my geeky fandom and take a picture with me:

And look, he only looks slightly uncomfortable! See the gentleman behind him in the brown shirt? That's Sam Logan. I probably would have read much more Sam and Fuzzy by now had I known how hunky Mr. Logan is in real life.

I also got to meet Ed and Red's Night Party stars Ed the Sock and Liana.K, and I got to get fresh with Ed:

For those of you not in Canada, it needs to be known that Ed the Sock is a Canadian icon that far surpasses maple syrup or Dudley Do-Right.

I also got to meet Sean Ward, who was very sweet to me and made me milkshakes.

My friends at Plastik Wrap, Ryan and Adriana, were at the con, so I got to be a dork again:

But the best part was hanging out with my fellow hot naked chicks!

I met Luscious, who is almost Lucy-sized! And MASSIVELY hot.

Malice and I met Dr.Mask

, and I bought a luchadore mask.

I came back to the booth to a surprise...Martini had bought me a cake and the girls all sang happy birthday to me! It was the sweetest thing. I love my friends.

Here's the new logo for my burlesque troupe (I designed it all by meself)


Here's the part where I'd try to be funny or eloquent, but really, it's 7 am and I'm exhausted...I should do that thingy where I clean the human-stink off of my body-type-thingys and crawl into bed, waiting for Mister Lucy to get home.

Love you all!
xoxo
love lucy

p.s...shout out to Superfan

This photo is by the lovely Miriana. I don't often find older women attractive, but she had this alluring beauty and beautiful accent and I that warmed my heart when I worked with her.
I remember getting that same warm feeling when I worked with Oryx.

And speaking of fantastic photographers, I can't wait until tmronin gets back up here to the rugged wilds of Canadia so we can make some hot SG set magic for y'all. I feel really lucky that I get to work with Steve. Hanging out with him is always such a blast, and he makes me look massively hot, and, even more importantly, he makes my legs look WAAAAAAAAAY long. Take THAT, people-who-don't-believe-I'm-6-feet!

Wow. There were far too many hyphens in that last sentence.

Tonight is my bachelorette party, a week to the day after my wedding. I may leave you at some point to attend said bachelorette party, but you can bet I'll be back on here, sloshed as hell, tonight, so long as I'm not drunkenly walking around, indignantly yelling at confused passersby
passerbys
(fuck it. The people I'll be hollering sousedly at will most likely be the Queen street hobos.)

I know a whole 18 people wanted to hear the story of my whirlwind marriage.
Until then, though, here's a tasty tidbit: We didn't get our marriage license until the day of the wedding. When we got to City Hall, they had just closed. I looked, panicky, at the lady behind the counter. "We're closed", she said. I just looked at her, stunned.
"But it's my WEDDING DAY", I stammered.
She asked me when I was supposed to be getting married. I looked at the clock. "20 minutes", I replied, fighting to keep the tears inside. We'd put the deposit down on the chapel already and booked the day off of work. Walking out of there without being married was NOT an option in my mind.

The lady sighed. "Have either of you two ever been married before?" She said, eyeing up our maudlin little site...here for a wedding but dressed for a funeral, him in a black velvet blazer and my pinstriped pants, me in miles and miles of fake hair and

this dress, by Decadent Designs.. "No", I replied.

She sighed again.
"The forms are over there, on the table. Hurry up and fill one out."

15 minutes later, we were on our way to the chapel and I was kind of stunned...

...cause, dudes, I made an Ontario government worker stay late to help me out.
Those of you who have ever dealt with the Ontario government know exactly how much weight that feat carries.

Therefore, I now believe that I am god.

xoxo
love lucy

Thanks everyone for the congrats! You guys are wonderful.
This is me at the clothing show a few weeks ago.




douche.



Yep, that's me, posing by a nearly lifesize poster of...me. I kept trying to surreptitiously hover around the Plastik Wrap booth to see if anyone would recognize me.
Nobody did, of course.


Who wants to hear the story of my shotgun wedding?
xoxo
love lucy

I JUST GOT MARRIED!
xoxo
love lucy

Sorry to burst your bubble, my dear perverts,
But the 'wet' tags on my set are erroneous.



That up there? That isn't my natural wetness...Steve and I shot that set three days after my ovarian donation and something in the anasthesia reacted with my skin and caused an allergic reaction...
...so that isn't wetness...
...that's a topical antihistamine.

Sorry kids.
xoxo
love lucy

p.s...thank y'all for all the awesome comments on my set. If you haven't checked it out, please take a peep and let me know what y'all think.

lbb

*edit* I just used y'all twice...I blame tmronin.

He sprawls out on our futon, surrounded by cast aside clothing and his macbook, a few issues of Mutant X beside him. He's sniffling, which means his allergies are acting up. Every now and again, I hear him crack his jaw.
I know if I turn to look at him behind me, he'll look up from whatever he's doing and grin at me. We'll make eyes at each other from a few feet away, smile, and say our 'I love you's before going back ot our separate activities. We spent our Saturday night in bed, reading comics, listening to Richard Cheese, the Buzzocks and the Stooges, while eating french toast in between breaks of having the best sex of my life. Last night we walked to the grocery store at 2 am to get margarita mix and he mocked my taste in music. I chased him with a stick I found. He just laughed and ran away.
We're so hot right now.


Today I was sick. Lines of worry flashed little wrinkly lightning-bolts across his forehead as he tended to me with all the care of a nursemaid. He made me rest while he made me a grilled cheese sandwich. He came in the room minutes later, with the sandwich on a plate and a slightly forlorn look cartooned upon his beautifully sculpted face. "I'm sorry, honey,' he'd said, handing me the grilled cheese and tomato, 'I tried to make it perfect for you...I added garlic and that mesquite spice you like and everything...and I went to add a bit of oil of oregano to the pan and I kind of...spilled it. I ruined your sandwich. I'm sorry." He looked so cute with his penitent face on, so much like an adorable sad puppy, that I wanted to grab his hair, throw him down on the bed, and fuck his brains out, had not the massive cramps running through my body made it incapable for me to do so. The sandwich, upon the first bite, indeed turned out to be inedible. He's sweet for trying, but I'll cook all of our meals from now on.


I told you in a previous entry that I'd modelled for the Plastik Wrap catalogue...here are a few images from their website:












What's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you?
xoxo
love lucy