SuicideGirl: Lolana
suicidegirl

Lolana Sweet

I’m private
 
JANUARY 20, 2012 @ 08:16 PM


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nothing makes me feel emotion stronger than poetry
here is a poem by my favorite spoken word/slam poet
andrea gibson.


Pole Dancer | Andrea Gibson
She pole-dances to gospel hymns.
Came out to her family in the middle of Thanksgiving grace.
I knew she was trouble
two years before our first date.
But my heart was a Labrador Retriever
with its head hung out the window of a car
tongue flapping in the wind
on a highway going 95
whenever she walked by.

So I mastered the art of crochet
and I crocheted her a winter scarf
and one night at the bar I gave it to her with a note
that said something like,
I hope this keeps your neck warm.
If it doesn’t give me a call.

The key to finding love
is fucking up the pattern on purpose
is skipping a stitch,
is leaving a tiny, tiny hole to let the cold in
and hoping she mends it with your lips.

This morning I was counting her freckles.
She has five on the left side of her face, seven on the other
and I love her for every speck of trouble she is.
She’s frickin’ awesome.
Like popcorn at a drive-in movie
that neither of us has any intention of watching.
Like Batman and Robin
in a pick-up truck in the front row with the windows steamed up.
Like Pacman in the eighties,
she swallows my ghosts.

Slaps me on my dark side and says,
“Baby, this is the best day ever.”
So I stop listening for the sound of the ocean
in the shells of bullets I hoped missed us
to see there are white flags from the tips of her toes
to her tear ducts
and I can wear her halos as handcuffs
‘cause I don’t wanna be a witness to this life,
I want to be charged and convicted,
ear lifted to her song like a bouquet of yes
because my heart is a parachute that has never opened in time
and I wanna fuck up that pattern,
leave a hole where the cold comes in and fill it every day with her sun,
‘cause anyone who has ever sat in lotus for more than a few seconds
knows it takes a hell of a lot more muscle to stay than to go.

And I want to grow
strong as the last patch of sage on a hillside
stretching towards the lightning.
God has always been an arsonist.
Heaven has always been on fire.
She is a butterfly knife bursting from a cocoon in my belly.
Love is a half moon hanging above Baghdad
promising to one day grow full,
to pull the tides through our desert wounds
and fill every clip of empty shells with the ocean.
Already there is salt on my lips.

Lover, this is not just another poem.
This is my goddamn revolt.
I am done holding my tongue like a bible.
There is too much war in every verse of our silence.
We have all dug too many trenches away from ourselves.

This time I want to melt like a snowman in Georgia,
‘til my smile is a pile of rocks you can pick up
and skip across the lake of your doubts.

Trust me,
I have been practicing my ripple.
I have been breaking into mannequin factories
and pouring my pink heart into their white paint.
I have been painting the night sky upon the inside of doorframes
so only moonshine will fall on your head in the earthquake.
I have been collecting your whispers and your whiplash
and your half-hour-long voice mail messages.
Lover, did you see the sunset tonight?
Did you see Neruda lay down on the horizon?
Do you know it was his lover who painted him red,
who made him stare down the bullet holes
in his country’s heart?

I am not looking for roses.
I want to break like a fever.
I want to break like the Berlin Wall.
I want to break like the clouds
so we can see every fearless star,
how they never speak guardrail,
how they can only say fail.



<3 always yours lolana
Comments
mattacme

mattacme

Calistoga, CA
February 2006

JAN 20, 2012 08:44 PM

Fantastic, thanks for posting this. I really love it.

carminefox

carminefox

Provo, UT
July 2010

JAN 20, 2012 08:59 PM

look at my latest post. you'll like it.

Tactical

Tactical

I'm lost
August 2009

JAN 21, 2012 03:48 AM

That is a pretty awesome poem, you look gorgeous as always

JosephAaron

JosephAaron

Torrance, CA
December 2008

JAN 21, 2012 07:56 AM

What up my friend is it cold as hell where you are?

nycstreetpoet

nycstreetpoet

Brooklyn, NY
March 2011

JAN 21, 2012 01:17 PM

I love those poems. Andrea Gibson sounds really familiar, maybe I heard her perform live once or twice?

KlausBuben

KlausBuben

USA
October 2008

JAN 22, 2012 05:39 PM

I luuuvvvv your latest set... love

Fabrizia

Fabrizia

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

JAN 22, 2012 06:19 PM

omg, I loooove this poem! Thank you for posting!

stauffielicious

stauffielicious

Pittsburgh, PA
January 2011

JAN 23, 2012 06:00 PM

those are gorgeous words babe, I <3 your new set, xo

Abeille

Abeille

HOPEFUL

Miramichi, NB

JAN 24, 2012 05:23 AM

The poem rekindled my love of spoken word! Thank you so much for posting it. On another not your truly gorgeous! Thanks again.

Spliff

Spliff

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

JAN 27, 2012 05:25 AM

wow. talk about flattering. your comment just gave me butterflies smile. Your so sweet!! I hope to see your new set FP soon <3 btw was that shot at the lofts?

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