SuicideGirl: Lolana
suicidegirl

Lolana Sweet

I’m private
 
MAY 13, 2011 @ 10:31 PM




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my heart breaks,and my knees buckle.
because the light you used to shine.
wont shed on me any longer.
am i supposed to drift off into my own sea?
and hope the sun will forgive me...
as i sink without a life vest.



this week was SUCH a rollercoaster..
so many bad things that could posssibly happen have happend.
but its okay,right?
i keep doubting myself over and over.

i guess i just am really upset.
my i can always keep my chin up!

and then i think back to my love life,
many of you know im PRO-SINGLE.
ive been single for a while now.
its pretty empowering.
i like carrying for my own.
i dont really get lonely.
but theres a reason bbehind this all.


9 out of 10 guys i date cheat on me.
but the last was the worst...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)



i thought he was the coolest guy ever,
we got a long,he had style,was a genius,talented had it all.
he really impressed me,3 months into it things were going down hill.
i shouldve known itd be bad since the relationship started out with another girl.
he said hed sgiven up on her.
i knew he didnt,so i just didnt care,i had feelings there was other girls.
but he told me i was crazy.
and when he lost his job I took care of him.
i was still there for him through everything,
through his fits,his terrible name calling,our fist fights,his crazy partying and drinking,
all the times he would never call me beautiful or compliment me because i didnt diserve it.
how i had to work for his affection.
how i was always reminded of how stupid i was.
and i wasnt good at anything.
i gave him my all.
then one day i just left,never went back.
and it felt so good.

the reason i bring him up is because i just found out tonight,one of my closest friends was fucking him while we were still together...
and they would both lie to me and just say they were best friends..
i guess one day shell tell me.
it hurts.
he warped my perseption of a relationship so bad.
but after time for healing ill learn whats right is when my head and heart are into it.

it just makes me feel so stupid,wondering how people thought of me throught that year and a half
the things theyd say like "i feel so bad for her,her bf is always cheating on her"
all i have to say is...
thanks for nothing.



i dont need that crap in my life.
thats why im prosingle.



if theres one thing that id change it could be those eyes,when i help you tell your lies.


hm on the bright side.
i cant wait till summer..
i have shoots lined up.
fun and trips.
moving!
im a bit broke for good reasons,like rent and my best friends birthday.
i just bought her and i panic at the disco tickets.
i have A DEEP ROUTED ISSUE WITH THE LEAD SINGER.
he is what i call the PERFECT man.

love


um what else?
i have a new kitten.
shes like a baby.
but not.
i mean shes a lot to handle..
but atomic and i love her.
zoom imagezoom image
i got a new tattoo...
zoom imagezoom image
its not finished,i just couldnt handle anymore.
and

i just did karoke tonight,
and i NEED to get on the voice next year.
so vocal lessons here i come.
i SWEAR ill post some of my singing i just keep forgetting!
tongue


also.I HAS A NEW SET CUMMIN' JUNE 13th.
yipppeeeeee.
thus i must give yall the previewsss.
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Comments
Annasthesia

Annasthesia

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

MAY 13, 2011 10:34 PM

Lovin the new set already. Is that the one you shot with Sean?

suispud1

suispud1

Dallas, TX
January 2010

MAY 13, 2011 10:40 PM

I love me a good preview pic...it's a portent of great things to come

Hungery13ear

Hungery13ear

Santa Ana, CA
September 2007

MAY 13, 2011 11:06 PM

Single fo sho!... upcoming set looks awesome, no makeup a natural LO!

melaniek

melaniek

I'm lost
January 2008

MAY 13, 2011 11:08 PM

awwz kitty and good stuff happening! smile and btw i am so glad you dumped that zero. smile

Leib_

Leib_

I'm lost
July 2008

MAY 13, 2011 11:11 PM

I just went through a pretty similar situation with a dude... uhg frown.

I've been single for about a year and for the first time in a while, I'm not loving it.

Good luck doll <3

Vegas_

Vegas_

Australia
July 2008

MAY 14, 2011 12:57 AM

dam it kiddo .. what u doing? love ya <3 <3

Lumenagerie

Lumenagerie

Seattle, WA
May 2005

MAY 14, 2011 01:16 AM

I want to see a karaoke video!smile

onenerdykid

onenerdykid

Austria
February 2009

MAY 14, 2011 02:23 AM

hang in there! i have pretty much the same problem with girls, but at least it's semi comforting to know that there people like us out there still... big hugs. I probably need to get a cat too, haha

Tactical

Tactical

I'm lost
August 2009

MAY 14, 2011 06:03 AM

You are so amazing, you don't need to be pro single although I am but you just need to be anti lying dumbshit kid that never grew up. Part of being a man is keeping your word which is essentially what being in relationship is. You promise someone that they will be the only one you are supposed to keep that promise. That sucks that the guy was a piece of shit. You are so gorgeous and don’t deserve to be treated like that

DownedCity

DownedCity

Washington, DC
May 2007

MAY 14, 2011 06:28 AM

only one thing to do. lower your standards in looks and raise them in quality of the heart <3

PixieStixx

PixieStixx

HOPEFUL

USA

MAY 14, 2011 10:59 AM

mmm boys...so tasty tongue
new tattoo and new set.. fuckyeah! both look spectacular (especially with that batman shirt :lovesmile

Damsel

Damsel

SUICIDEGIRL

Ohio, USA

MAY 14, 2011 06:07 PM

girrrrrrrl you sound a lot like me. i'd love to have a drunk heart to heart with you sometime wink

RoyalT

RoyalT

Glen Burnie, MD
August 2010

MAY 14, 2011 08:04 PM

Can you be anymore sexy?

ron4164

ron4164

Ponchatoula, LA
January 2007

MAY 14, 2011 08:26 PM

Awesoem tattoo! smile
Take care of yourself ok. kiss kiss love

christinaree

christinaree

USA
March 2011

MAY 14, 2011 08:33 PM

omg your kitty is sooo cute! <3 and your tattoo is SICK. but, you must teach me this pro-single lifestyle.. i'm having a really hard time figuring it out :[ hopefully i'll talk to you soon!

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