I exist in a constant dreamlike state, Succeeded in nullifying my existance. Not quite living, Not quite dead. It's that in between point that has me still breathing. Crazy bill told me that my central nervous system is all fucked up, That i twitch out in my sleep and grind my teeth, Bite my lip until it bleeds, and move with lack of rythm. I don't know how I'm going to be a stripper with all these bruises splashing my skin purple and blue or even remember where they came from most of the time. Bill feeds me organic food that his case manager takes him to buy. He lives completely off of all of your tax dollars because he is completely insane. haha. He tells me that i'm the bitch marilyn monroe rockstar and he's the crazy existentialist scientist, But he says we have to keep it on the DL. After all shh people are trying to kill us. So i'm Susie Creamcheese and he's mr. Billy smiles. I start working tonight, After a few weeks here, If i can make enough money and get myself in a healthier condition, I'm back on the rails and will go to arizonia for a little while. I miss the desert air.

Got that stripper Job. Starting on thursday. Any suggestions for good songs to dance to? wow, a job, finally gave into capitalism, I'm such a sellout.
Love, Lily

I'm sleeping on the floor of my friends house, fighting demons everyday like joan of arc, He's real crazy but really brilliant as well. Did too much acid in the 60's or something, wakes me up some mornings and convinces me that the CIA is trying to kill us. I applied to work at this strip club, where all the girls are like the epitomie of white trash and most of the customers are bikers. They really want me to work for them, I think i need an escape plan.

I got deported from canada for a year. They said only terrorists hop freight trains into other countries. heh. So many things qualify me as a terrorist nowadays. and i wouldn't have even had to talk to those facist police officers if i wasn't sleeping naked in a car. God people really need to get their priorities straight. It's not like i was stealing small children and selling them on the black market. They locked me in a small white room with a camera aimed right at my head. it was so cute. Then they drove me back to the border. stuck back in shitty ass america now in the middle of fuckin ogdensburg new york or some shit. I suppose i'll try to hitch a ride into the city where theres actually some form of culture besides this.
Happy Canada Day!
Love, Lily

My cells are regenerating

Hopped a train into canada.
dirty
tired
sick
I hate border patrol.

Never believe a girl who tells you that she loves you on heroin.

my cells are dying