I was barely eighteen when I joined Suicidegirls. I was never a member beforehand. My first set that I sent in was accepted and that was early 2003.

I loved the supportive community for a long time. I made some great friends like Debrajean, Kyle, Apathy, Fatality, Voltaire, Benni and Bob . I also got to hang out with awesome girls like Nicolletta, Brandy,Jersey, Hunter, and Amina.


I made friends through the site with people like anepiphany, Queenie, Su, and all the girls and boys in the SW group.

I had deep online connections with girls like Kikka,Thora.........I could go on and on.

But unlike some girls this will not keep me part of the site, I was never one of the sg sorority girls. I have lots and lots of friends outside of suicidegirls.


I got to be a part of the first book and was featured in the cards.

I was connected with a community that thought unconventional beauty was still beautiful.

But most of all I found a underworld community that loved, appreciated, and encouraged my writing, besides the friendships, this has meant the most to me and I promise all of my writing fans that one day you will be able to hold my writing in a book.

Over the years the site changed and I guess I didn't. It almost exploded overnight into something more corporate than the little online community I joined back in '03.

One of the things I am strongly disillusioned with right now is member review. I don't find it empowering for girls to have to submit naked pictures to the site for free with only hopes of their set getting bought and all of the promotion some of them feel like they have to do in order to get their pictures bought and regardless of what people might think, there is favoritism here and there is a hierarchy that I try to stay away from.

due to all of these things I have made the decision to leave. I also have grown out of the attention craving egotism that comes along with modeling and I don't feel the need to submit naked pictures of myself to feel beautiful. I know and have always known I am beautiful.

I want to thank Missy and Sean for every opportunity. I wish them nothing but the best with their vision. It's just not a vision that I feel like I want to be a part of anymore.

But most of all thank you to the girls and the members who have supported my writing and acting and things outside of suicidegitls. I love you all and will miss you all. My e mail is lilithdreams@hotmail.com . Please stay in touch.

You're free bird. Fly away.

xoxo, Lily