IPOD
RADIO
PICS
I live in hernando county, which is right next to hernando beach.... where there is no beach.
Who gets to name places? I wanna smack the idiot up side his head.
I'm still sickly miserable and I'm losing my voice day by day.
Who gets to name places? I wanna smack the idiot up side his head.
I'm still sickly miserable and I'm losing my voice day by day.
The plague has brought me down and I spent the whole day on the couch.
I suck at life right now.
Ug
I suck at life right now.
Ug
Always About Her
Because of the way she looks when she thinks I'm not looking, or the way that she gets up just a little before she needs to and makes me coffee in the mornings, or the smile I find on her face when she comes in and sees me paintings- she says she likes to watch me paint.
I need her with a desperation bordering on insanity. I need her warm arms around my waist and the soft skin of her face pressed against my breast. I can't sleep without the touch of her, the smell of her.
She struts-yet stumbles- in pants a little too big, around the house, her wife-beater hugging her bra-less chest and curving out lines that make me want to grab my camera and chase her down, take pictures of just those parts of her, her lines.
Those are the parts that my hands try to memorize, that my dreams see like valleys and mountains of desire. I want to paint her, her wide shoulders and strong arms, her thin waist and small firm breasts, the curve of her hip as it dips down and out creating the perfect span of her ass, the downward sip of her well muscled legs and the connection of her feet to the floor.
To me; all perfection.
And she sings little songs to the box of fake sugar in her hands, maybe for her amusement maybe for mine. Then I think, maybe I will write for her a song. Pull out my old dusty guitar and plunk away until I've made something, something I will never show her because it would never be good enough to explain the wonder I believe she is.
Hot, soft, sweet, wet, hard, kind, smart....
All that is her is my artistic perfection.
Because of the way she looks when she thinks I'm not looking, or the way that she gets up just a little before she needs to and makes me coffee in the mornings, or the smile I find on her face when she comes in and sees me paintings- she says she likes to watch me paint.
I need her with a desperation bordering on insanity. I need her warm arms around my waist and the soft skin of her face pressed against my breast. I can't sleep without the touch of her, the smell of her.
She struts-yet stumbles- in pants a little too big, around the house, her wife-beater hugging her bra-less chest and curving out lines that make me want to grab my camera and chase her down, take pictures of just those parts of her, her lines.
Those are the parts that my hands try to memorize, that my dreams see like valleys and mountains of desire. I want to paint her, her wide shoulders and strong arms, her thin waist and small firm breasts, the curve of her hip as it dips down and out creating the perfect span of her ass, the downward sip of her well muscled legs and the connection of her feet to the floor.
To me; all perfection.
And she sings little songs to the box of fake sugar in her hands, maybe for her amusement maybe for mine. Then I think, maybe I will write for her a song. Pull out my old dusty guitar and plunk away until I've made something, something I will never show her because it would never be good enough to explain the wonder I believe she is.
Hot, soft, sweet, wet, hard, kind, smart....
All that is her is my artistic perfection.
She makes my heart beat, fast and slow, at the same time. The special rhythm I hold just for her, dawned by the slight curve of her hip or the softness of her lips. I wear it like a badge of love, the irregularity of happiness inside.
And, when I am at times, when I can feel her heart beat next to mine. That same rhythm of acceptance and joy, a smile spreads across my lips. That secret one, the one just for her. Half a smile and half a thought of something more; something naughty.
The soft white flesh of her inner thigh rubbing hot against my cheeks. The smell of her perfume on my hands and the taste of woman on my tongue. The small moans calling out in the distance of the room and the little thrusts of her hips until I give her what she wants. The warm noise from her mouth and the 'ummm' held just under her breath. The little shivers that crawl down my spine when she wrenches her hips up and giggles into the pillow.
I am in love with every second that is her.
This is my testament of truth, bound by no laws.
There has never been a truly happy day before her touch.
Never a perfect sky until I was under it with her.
Never an intimate love song in my heart or a finer thought than her in my mind.
A testament of truth.
That I love her.
That she knows it
Also: to see my disclaimer for my set comments please see the previous entry.
And, when I am at times, when I can feel her heart beat next to mine. That same rhythm of acceptance and joy, a smile spreads across my lips. That secret one, the one just for her. Half a smile and half a thought of something more; something naughty.
The soft white flesh of her inner thigh rubbing hot against my cheeks. The smell of her perfume on my hands and the taste of woman on my tongue. The small moans calling out in the distance of the room and the little thrusts of her hips until I give her what she wants. The warm noise from her mouth and the 'ummm' held just under her breath. The little shivers that crawl down my spine when she wrenches her hips up and giggles into the pillow.
I am in love with every second that is her.
This is my testament of truth, bound by no laws.
There has never been a truly happy day before her touch.
Never a perfect sky until I was under it with her.
Never an intimate love song in my heart or a finer thought than her in my mind.
A testament of truth.
That I love her.
That she knows it
Also: to see my disclaimer for my set comments please see the previous entry.
I feel obliged to put up a happy post seeing as my set went up live today 
So this is me being happy.
There did you get that? Good.
Also, if you left me a message on my set you are going to receive one of these:
Yes, you are getting a message that everyone else who left a message on my set is getting.
Why? Because I don't have great internet capabilities but I still want to say thank you.
Because: You are appreciated and I am humbled by the nice comment you left on my new set "Gone with the Wind".
Thank you.
xoxoxoxo
Why you may want to know am I posting this instead of a simple 'thank you'. It's because I like to be difficult like that. That and sometimes I get messages like "thanks for leaving me a message although I know you just copy and pasted it to everyone.' Well, this way there is no mistaking it. Yes, I copy pasted it to everyone, but if you stop to think about how long it takes me to simply "COPY PASTE" that about a thousand times perhaps you will see why it is just copy-pasted and not tailored to every individual comment.
I like to keep it real like that. Besides if you want to have some kind of conversation with me you should really try sending messages anyway. I do respond to them, it just takes me a while sometimes. I try to respond to people I know or who write me regularly first then to everyone else. As, I admire those who make active attempts to be my friend.
I like having friends.
Now, the other news.
I have the flu. It sucks. I am loading up on vitamin c and trying not to sneeze on the mail lady when she comes to drop off my mail.
Ug...
Much love to all of you out there in cyber world!
xoxo
So this is me being happy.
There did you get that? Good.
Also, if you left me a message on my set you are going to receive one of these:
Yes, you are getting a message that everyone else who left a message on my set is getting.
Why? Because I don't have great internet capabilities but I still want to say thank you.
Because: You are appreciated and I am humbled by the nice comment you left on my new set "Gone with the Wind".
Thank you.
xoxoxoxo
Why you may want to know am I posting this instead of a simple 'thank you'. It's because I like to be difficult like that. That and sometimes I get messages like "thanks for leaving me a message although I know you just copy and pasted it to everyone.' Well, this way there is no mistaking it. Yes, I copy pasted it to everyone, but if you stop to think about how long it takes me to simply "COPY PASTE" that about a thousand times perhaps you will see why it is just copy-pasted and not tailored to every individual comment.
I like to keep it real like that. Besides if you want to have some kind of conversation with me you should really try sending messages anyway. I do respond to them, it just takes me a while sometimes. I try to respond to people I know or who write me regularly first then to everyone else. As, I admire those who make active attempts to be my friend.
I like having friends.
Now, the other news.
I have the flu. It sucks. I am loading up on vitamin c and trying not to sneeze on the mail lady when she comes to drop off my mail.
Ug...
Much love to all of you out there in cyber world!
xoxo
Nervous Breakdown.
I'm pretty sure I had one last night. I think I'm ok now though. I will explain if you have the time to go through and read my craziness.
So, Sunday I moved my stuff into the house I have not yet paid for. Me, and a few of my girl friends. So, more little known facts about me. I have two vertebrae in my neck that are not in alignment the way they are supposed to be, and they cause me great pains sometimes. Of which I usually just ignore or endure. Well, I really should not be moving things like boxes and furniture... but I do. I woke up the next day really really sore with boxes up to my eyeballs. I spent the next day unpacking- literally all day long.
Tuesday I had to go down to Tampa and fight with the apartment complex all day long about how they feel they are going to sue me because I owe them money for breaking my lease, despite the fact that there were bullet holes in my walls. That wasn't fun. Then it was off to the car insurance place to change my address.... Let me tell you how that went.
I move to a small town in the middle of nowhere with next to no crime rate: AND my car insurance goes up by 100 dollars. Yep, up. What the fuck.
I get home late that night and I unpack some more stuff.
The next day I get up early and I go to my friend Bella's house to help her move her things to her new place. She didn't have anyone else to help her. So, needless to say I was really sore by the time we finished with that. Then, I learned that my mother was in the hospital and was having heart problems. I go straight from moving, covered in sweat and dirt with messy hair to the hospital. I sit there with her for a few hours until she was tired and I had to drive home. By this time I'd spent a small fortune in gas, but it's my mother. Whatever. I'll sell my ass to see her if I have to.
I get home late, unpack and go to bed.
The next day I find out that the reality company that the lady's house is registered with have a contract with her and can't be fired. Great. There goes an extra chunk of money because they want a 50 dollar fee for the lease paperwork and 100 for the background check stuff, plus the rent. Which by this time I was already short on by the cost of gas up and back to Tampa so many times. Then, he gives me this paperwork that has to be filled out by my old apartment place, my job, la la la... I have to go back to Tampa again. It's about an hour and a half south of me now.
I spend the afternoon in shitty rush hour traffic trying to get paperwork faxed and done. Fuck-head. I'm sure my old apartment people with have loads of nice things to say on the papers about how I ditched the lease.
I get home late. I go to bed.
Friday... nervous breakdown ahoy!
I go to work at this club in Pasco county. It's closer to my house and my friend Bella works there.
I made 13 dollars.
No.
Really.
13 dollars.
The club is 18 and up to get it, full liquor and was full of infantile skanky girls who were willing to do pretty much anything for a dollar.
Yeah. I'm not that girl.
All night long I heard from people.
"Wow, you don't like you work here. You don't fit in here. Wanna go home with me?"
NO ASSHOLE I do not want to go home with you. I want nothing to do with you and your disgusting cigar and booze breath, spilling your obscenities in my face and telling me I'm too good to take my clothes off but that I should go home with you and fuck you, a complete stranger.
By the end of the night I was twitching. Really twitching. There was a part of my brain that just decided to quit working at that point and something like insanity started to take over. I drove home quietly, had a cup of tea quietly, took a shower quietly, and went to bed quietly.
I am much better this morning. I popped online and I have all these sweet and thoughtful emails from people on here and some of my friends, who care. The niceness and concern that some people have for others is just stunning to me sometimes. I don't think I've known so many people who actually care about others in a long time and I'd just like to thank everyone for that. Their kindness and encouraging words.
It is appreciated here.
I'm going to go outside and play ball with my dog now and try to forget that I have to go back to that club and work in a few hours.
xox
I'm pretty sure I had one last night. I think I'm ok now though. I will explain if you have the time to go through and read my craziness.
So, Sunday I moved my stuff into the house I have not yet paid for. Me, and a few of my girl friends. So, more little known facts about me. I have two vertebrae in my neck that are not in alignment the way they are supposed to be, and they cause me great pains sometimes. Of which I usually just ignore or endure. Well, I really should not be moving things like boxes and furniture... but I do. I woke up the next day really really sore with boxes up to my eyeballs. I spent the next day unpacking- literally all day long.
Tuesday I had to go down to Tampa and fight with the apartment complex all day long about how they feel they are going to sue me because I owe them money for breaking my lease, despite the fact that there were bullet holes in my walls. That wasn't fun. Then it was off to the car insurance place to change my address.... Let me tell you how that went.
I move to a small town in the middle of nowhere with next to no crime rate: AND my car insurance goes up by 100 dollars. Yep, up. What the fuck.
I get home late that night and I unpack some more stuff.
The next day I get up early and I go to my friend Bella's house to help her move her things to her new place. She didn't have anyone else to help her. So, needless to say I was really sore by the time we finished with that. Then, I learned that my mother was in the hospital and was having heart problems. I go straight from moving, covered in sweat and dirt with messy hair to the hospital. I sit there with her for a few hours until she was tired and I had to drive home. By this time I'd spent a small fortune in gas, but it's my mother. Whatever. I'll sell my ass to see her if I have to.
I get home late, unpack and go to bed.
The next day I find out that the reality company that the lady's house is registered with have a contract with her and can't be fired. Great. There goes an extra chunk of money because they want a 50 dollar fee for the lease paperwork and 100 for the background check stuff, plus the rent. Which by this time I was already short on by the cost of gas up and back to Tampa so many times. Then, he gives me this paperwork that has to be filled out by my old apartment place, my job, la la la... I have to go back to Tampa again. It's about an hour and a half south of me now.
I spend the afternoon in shitty rush hour traffic trying to get paperwork faxed and done. Fuck-head. I'm sure my old apartment people with have loads of nice things to say on the papers about how I ditched the lease.
I get home late. I go to bed.
Friday... nervous breakdown ahoy!
I go to work at this club in Pasco county. It's closer to my house and my friend Bella works there.
I made 13 dollars.
No.
Really.
13 dollars.
The club is 18 and up to get it, full liquor and was full of infantile skanky girls who were willing to do pretty much anything for a dollar.
Yeah. I'm not that girl.
All night long I heard from people.
"Wow, you don't like you work here. You don't fit in here. Wanna go home with me?"
NO ASSHOLE I do not want to go home with you. I want nothing to do with you and your disgusting cigar and booze breath, spilling your obscenities in my face and telling me I'm too good to take my clothes off but that I should go home with you and fuck you, a complete stranger.
By the end of the night I was twitching. Really twitching. There was a part of my brain that just decided to quit working at that point and something like insanity started to take over. I drove home quietly, had a cup of tea quietly, took a shower quietly, and went to bed quietly.
I am much better this morning. I popped online and I have all these sweet and thoughtful emails from people on here and some of my friends, who care. The niceness and concern that some people have for others is just stunning to me sometimes. I don't think I've known so many people who actually care about others in a long time and I'd just like to thank everyone for that. Their kindness and encouraging words.
It is appreciated here.
I'm going to go outside and play ball with my dog now and try to forget that I have to go back to that club and work in a few hours.
xox
Seriously if someone were to give me a stress test it would go off the charts and haywire!
My mom is in the hospital again. I spent 100 dollars in gas in the last two days driving back and forth to see her. I am not 350 short of my moving money instead of two; which is due on the first of September.
Stupid fees for one thing or another. Lease fees (WTF ever), background check fees (why? do I look like a mass murderer to you) and all because the girl I rented from signed a contract with a rental agency and she couldn't get out of it. She was going to just let us have it for the rent, but she can't now. They are forcing her to make us pay all that crazy shit and she signed a contract with them to use them, so she can't do anything about it.
Can you say screwed. I just moved my stuff in here.. I have this sinking sensation I will be packing it all back up and moving it into a storage unit and spending a lot of time in my car.
If you ordered a video...
It will be to you by Monday
If you ordered prints...
I am sending them out monday (pleas email me so I can make sure I have your address to send it to and a list of the prints you wanted.)
If you ordered paintings....
Well that could take a pretty freaking long time so I'm not going to even guess here.
If you want to order any of these things just let me know.
Prints always for sale.
Thanks,
LILL
My mom is in the hospital again. I spent 100 dollars in gas in the last two days driving back and forth to see her. I am not 350 short of my moving money instead of two; which is due on the first of September.
Stupid fees for one thing or another. Lease fees (WTF ever), background check fees (why? do I look like a mass murderer to you) and all because the girl I rented from signed a contract with a rental agency and she couldn't get out of it. She was going to just let us have it for the rent, but she can't now. They are forcing her to make us pay all that crazy shit and she signed a contract with them to use them, so she can't do anything about it. Can you say screwed. I just moved my stuff in here.. I have this sinking sensation I will be packing it all back up and moving it into a storage unit and spending a lot of time in my car.
If you ordered a video...
It will be to you by Monday
If you ordered prints...
I am sending them out monday (pleas email me so I can make sure I have your address to send it to and a list of the prints you wanted.)
If you ordered paintings....
Well that could take a pretty freaking long time so I'm not going to even guess here.
If you want to order any of these things just let me know.
Prints always for sale.
Thanks,
LILL
Oh My God!
So, I haven't had any internet so I didn't know that my new set went up the other day!
I'm so excited! Yeah!
Thanks to everyone for the awesome feedback on the set! I'm glad you liked it!
I'm dancing in my panties right now!!!!!
OMG!
Haven't seen it yet?
Her is the link.
Gone With the Wind
So, I haven't had any internet so I didn't know that my new set went up the other day!
I'm so excited! Yeah!
Thanks to everyone for the awesome feedback on the set! I'm glad you liked it!
I'm dancing in my panties right now!!!!!
OMG!
Haven't seen it yet?
Her is the link.
Gone With the Wind
I'm only 200 dollars away from my moving to the new place goal!
However, the nice nice lady is letting us move in before the 1st when I have to pay her.
Soo... calling all people with strong backs in the Tampa area to help me lug my stuff around! I'd offer food or booze but I don't have the money, however: I am a funny ass bitch and I'll make you laugh till you snort or spit beverages from your nose!
However, the nice nice lady is letting us move in before the 1st when I have to pay her.
Soo... calling all people with strong backs in the Tampa area to help me lug my stuff around! I'd offer food or booze but I don't have the money, however: I am a funny ass bitch and I'll make you laugh till you snort or spit beverages from your nose!
I found a house. The lady is going to work with me on the deposit but I still have to come up with the first months rent and money to move.
I'm about 700 short not counting the moving truck and gas and stuff.
I'm still selling prints, paintings, custom videos... whatever.
Prints:
Any photo from my SG sets or from the Prints for sale album.
20 for 1
12 for each additional
Buy 4 get 1 free
All Autographed 8x10
Photo Sets
You can also purchase custom photosets.
You will receive the photos via internet
Any kind of photos, any number
2 dollars a picture
Paintings
You can purchase custom paintings.
Any subject, any size, oil or acrylic
Pay upfront but satisfaction guaranteed. If you don't like it, I'll redo it.
From 100-2000 dollars Dependant on size, media, and subject
I do portraits, landscapes, animal portraits, abstract.... pretty much anything.
Sketches
You can purchase a custom sketch of you, your pet, or your loved one.
Pencil, ink, or colored pencil.
50 dollars for 8x10
Custom Videos
You can purchase a custom video of me. I do any fetish, no porn or penetration.
Humiliation, Foot, Belly, Smoking, ... you think of it. I can do it.
You can also visit my CLIP STORE Here:
Real Roommates
for ideas.
Videos range from 3 dollars a minute depending on subject.
I have a new set coming up for Review in a week or two. So keep an eye out for that. It's one of my favorites to date. I'm sure you will like it as much as I do.
**** Curious to know why I'm moving? Check back an entry for explanations. Let's just say it involved my house and a drive by shooting.
Another Small Update
My friend Sway has decided not to come back to Florida. She was on vacation with her two year old (whose room got shot up) while the incident took place. I don't blame her for not wanting to bring her child back down here.
My other roommate Priscilla, I had to ask her to move before the shooting because she couldn't pay rent. So she wasn't here for that.
I talked to my apartment complex today and they basically told me I'm fucked. I told them that I was moving out of fear from my life, but they are still going to make me pay them 1200 dollars to break my lease, and if I don't pay them they are going to put it on my credit and then sue me for the money, despite the fact that my apartment got shot up.
The apartment manager actually had the balls to say to me: Well we live here too, we know what you are going through. Really? Do live right next to the crackheads and did you find bullets in your walls? I don't think so. They tried to make me sign a bunch of paperwork but I refused. I had to fill out a reason for moving paper and after I signed it she wrote on the bottom of it that I owe a lease termination fee than gave me a copy. I called a few lawyers today but it did me no good. They all want hundreds of dollars just to speak to me. Great.
I've been trying to convince my mother and my step father to come over here tonight and stay till Wednesday as I'm not in an evacuation zone (via we are having a hurricane- again) but they refuse. They live in a trailer over by the coast. My step dad says "I have to work". I said "In a hurricane" . He said. "Yes."
I can't tell them anything. They think they are the masters of the world and that they know exactly what is going to happen at all times. I'm too exhausted to argue about it anymore. I'm so stressed out that I can't eat and I feel like shit... coupled with the fact that I've been packing all day long and I'm afraid to walk the dog because I might get shot at.
WTF? Isn't this year over yet?
When does my GOOD luck start?
If not for great friends I don't know where I would be right now, in the loony bin probably!
I'm about 700 short not counting the moving truck and gas and stuff.
I'm still selling prints, paintings, custom videos... whatever.
Prints:
Any photo from my SG sets or from the Prints for sale album.
20 for 1
12 for each additional
Buy 4 get 1 free
All Autographed 8x10
Photo Sets
You can also purchase custom photosets.
You will receive the photos via internet
Any kind of photos, any number
2 dollars a picture
Paintings
You can purchase custom paintings.
Any subject, any size, oil or acrylic
Pay upfront but satisfaction guaranteed. If you don't like it, I'll redo it.
From 100-2000 dollars Dependant on size, media, and subject
I do portraits, landscapes, animal portraits, abstract.... pretty much anything.
Sketches
You can purchase a custom sketch of you, your pet, or your loved one.
Pencil, ink, or colored pencil.
50 dollars for 8x10
Custom Videos
You can purchase a custom video of me. I do any fetish, no porn or penetration.
Humiliation, Foot, Belly, Smoking, ... you think of it. I can do it.
You can also visit my CLIP STORE Here:
Real Roommates
for ideas.
Videos range from 3 dollars a minute depending on subject.
I have a new set coming up for Review in a week or two. So keep an eye out for that. It's one of my favorites to date. I'm sure you will like it as much as I do.
**** Curious to know why I'm moving? Check back an entry for explanations. Let's just say it involved my house and a drive by shooting.
Another Small Update
My friend Sway has decided not to come back to Florida. She was on vacation with her two year old (whose room got shot up) while the incident took place. I don't blame her for not wanting to bring her child back down here.
My other roommate Priscilla, I had to ask her to move before the shooting because she couldn't pay rent. So she wasn't here for that.
I talked to my apartment complex today and they basically told me I'm fucked. I told them that I was moving out of fear from my life, but they are still going to make me pay them 1200 dollars to break my lease, and if I don't pay them they are going to put it on my credit and then sue me for the money, despite the fact that my apartment got shot up.
The apartment manager actually had the balls to say to me: Well we live here too, we know what you are going through. Really? Do live right next to the crackheads and did you find bullets in your walls? I don't think so. They tried to make me sign a bunch of paperwork but I refused. I had to fill out a reason for moving paper and after I signed it she wrote on the bottom of it that I owe a lease termination fee than gave me a copy. I called a few lawyers today but it did me no good. They all want hundreds of dollars just to speak to me. Great.
I've been trying to convince my mother and my step father to come over here tonight and stay till Wednesday as I'm not in an evacuation zone (via we are having a hurricane- again) but they refuse. They live in a trailer over by the coast. My step dad says "I have to work". I said "In a hurricane" . He said. "Yes."
I can't tell them anything. They think they are the masters of the world and that they know exactly what is going to happen at all times. I'm too exhausted to argue about it anymore. I'm so stressed out that I can't eat and I feel like shit... coupled with the fact that I've been packing all day long and I'm afraid to walk the dog because I might get shot at.
WTF? Isn't this year over yet?
When does my GOOD luck start?
If not for great friends I don't know where I would be right now, in the loony bin probably!
