My right eye is swollen. I tried to take a pic of it but it just looks like my eye's shut.. here's a shitty photo ne ways. It's all purple and feels all swollen and icky and painful! I think its from an insect bite, thought it was from a sti but there isnt one. This sucks! Why the eye?! the most obvious place ever AND this isnt the first time, last spring/summer it happened like 4 times! Unlucky eh . So today, im staying at home, printing my dissertation and err hiding from the public.



Scuse the horrid face, im not bothering with my hair or make up today.


P.S: Looking for someone to shoot a zivity set for me still and as i'm very picky with who I choose u'll need to have a proper portfolio with appropriate photos. The theme will be burlesque

Cabaret? Theatre? Pub Crawl? Sleepover?

My 21st birthday is in June and i'm trying to plan it all now as everyone ends up being busy if i plan it late. I want it to be special as its my 21st but I also want it to be a girly night. What do you guys think? I shall be sending out invites prob end April/ beg May.

My tummy is hurting loads and i mean loads. I went home last night and my mum said i look about 5 months preggers. Damn intollerances! On wednesday, after the animal park we went to get something to eat,unfortunately the only thing around was burger king. And me being me and greedy I ordered the same as Joe, double whopper with extra onions and added bacon, yeh i regret that now! Plus i had dinner at home last night and i don't think that helped, my tummy hurts like hell!

So here's my question to ppl who know, How can i detox all the crap outa my body without feeling hungry? I've noticed coz i'm home everyday now writing my assignments and dissertations, I end up pigging out on random stuff, which makes it worse. I swear as much as I try to lose weight I end up eating shit loads coz i'm bored. But yeh its like a vicious cycle.


ALSO, i'm really struggling to find a job. Every graduate job i've applied for has replied saying i dont have the knowledge, skill or experience, every normal job just doesnt reply and the only job I have found so far is a call centre job. No offense to ne one, but i didnt get a degree to work in a call centre . I know its hard for ppl to find jobs these days but its so depressing. Anyone have a job for me in the UK?

Anyways few more weeks til i finish Univerisity...

EDITED: Are there any photographers in the UK that are willing to take photos of me for a set for Zivity? I still want to model but non nudes at the time being... Please PM me if you're interested in shooting me.

Joe took me to a animal park yesterday. It was sad, the enclosures were small and i swear half the animals have gone insane from the lack of stuff to do. The cats were walking in circles, the lions dens were smaller than our bike shed and one was disabled and her enclosure was on a hill and there were 2 gorilla enclosures, 1 was ok they had room to rome and do what they want, the other one was hidden away and each gorilla was in their own pens and it was the size of my bedroom (which is small!) they were definately not happy. The park was big, took us 3 hours to walk around it, was like walking a country park on a sunny day which was nice. We bought meerkat food to feed them, except we couldn't find them, then looked at the map at the beginning and found it so we headed to go feed them only to be told that part of the park was temporarily closed for emergency evacuation. Half the enclosures were empty and most of them were overgrown with plants and weeds. sad sad park. There was a safari, 5 pound each to go on it, but it was the same route as the one we walked.. lame!

It's meant to be a good park, but we were disapointed and sad when we left. Here are some photos, couldnt take many as the cages were so bad.








MR stuff:

Bow- Ursus Maritimus


Turner- Hotpink Flash


Miyo- Vintage Caberet

Nearly there!!!

I have 1,000 more words til I complete my dissertation! fuck yeah! (well i still have to spend a day after going through it all, neaten it up and make sure its all correct) then front page, contents page, abstract, references etc then i'm officially done the dreaded dissertation. Hoping to finish by the end of the week

I have 2 assignments both 1,500 words so should finish those in a day or two and a web page design. I have 2 exams... spanish and ethics and governance. THEN I AM OFFICIALLY FINISHED UNIVERISTY!! woop woop.

Still looking for a job, I think i've decided I want to be a fashion buyer or merchandiser but I don't have the experience so i'll take whatever job comes along first.

As for the whole "diet" thing.. well im just eating healthier not cutting what i love out.. just moving more like you all recommended. I've been using the wii fit for 30+ mins everyday for a few days and i've already lost a few lbs. woop!

I probably won't be around SG after the weekend as i'll be on "holiday" kinda.. well Joe's taken 2 weeks off so better spend time with him, the only time i see him now is when we sleep and wake up coz he's working 12 hour shifts 10-10. . But we'll be going to Wales next weekend and Dorset after that. Then BRIGHTON!! woo i cant wait to see the loverly SG folks!

ne hooo. better get on with my work... determined to finish today!

Adios amigos!

one final plee... please check these sets out! I worked really hard on these and i'm not giving up just yet especially Bow's its got nearly 740 comments.. please give them some love!

MR stuff:

Bow- Ursus Maritimus


Turner- Hotpink Flash


Miyo- Vintage Caberet

I want a new hair style... my hair is out grown and just growing bigger instead of longer . Any suggestions? Post images please! Anything i'm open to new ideas for cut, colour, extensions blah di blah

Oh and i wanna change my "look" i dunno maybe i've been watchin too much girlie tv like gossip girls, 90210, samantha who.. but it always makes me wanna go shopping and eat less haha

Also i got told by a few ppl last week that I look like someone famous/someone on tv..... But they never said who... i really don't think i do but would be cool if i did! Can anyone guess?


Anyways here's my blog from earlier... its a bit of a grumpy post though.

I'm sick


I hate being ill... it makes me feel shit and like I cant go out. I went to that interview today... it wasn't an interview it was a "tour" although we couldn't see the building we sat in a room for 2 hrs learning about the company. It's a good company and I hope i'll be able to work for them when i graduate, even in the call centre team if I have to then apply to jobs internally after. During the 2 hour session I kept thinking " man i need to blow my nose... and man im hungry!" so i kept sniffling and my tummy kept rumbling. Everything is always harder when ur ill.

I've had to call in sick today.. im now in bed about to take an afternoon nap.

I need to finish my dissertation so I think i'm gna do that after my nap so im less drowsy but i'm nearly there!!

Sorry for this blog.. i'm just bored. If anyone has a job they can offer me in the UK please let me know!!! I'll b a graduate this summer and I dunno how to get into a job i'll like!

x

Thank you for all the advice everyone! I've decided not to drive my car anywhere unless i need to go brighton or somewhere far. That will hopefully help me lsoe some weight. Gonna start running except its raining lots right now! But i used the wii fit today, gained another lb.. i dunno where all this weight is coming from!! but yeh just gna do what everyone has said... eat less, move more.

So at the weekend, Del came to my town to help me with work. We both worked as photographers at my university for a uni4u day. Its a open day for 14-15 yr olds. We took pretend graduate photos for kids and their parents. It wasn't very busy so this is what we did:
Pretended to graduate with my friend who was also working


And silly photos



Thanks again Del who helped out. Muchos Gracias!


After, I went to my friend Mihaella's birthday party. I only went for a few hours, got home at 7 to make dinner... it did take 2 days to cook the dinner so I couldn't miss it! It was home made Pho (noodle stuff...)




On sunday, it was mothers day. I didn't go home but i did drop off flowers and a card on saturday. Instead Joe and I surprised his mum by organising a big lunch and Joe's brother, sister in law and little niece came over to surprise her! .

I didnt get the part time job, but I have an interview on Thursday. Wish me luck!

I'VE GAINED NEARLY A STONE IN THE LAST MONTH. FROM 8.2 STONE TO 9... IN 4 WEEKS. (THATS 12 LBS) ... worse part is, it looks obvious, and this is me not being silly but honest. I didn't just decide to write this blog for ppl to say aww no ur not blah di blah coz i'm short, its obvious and what i really want is some advice.

Ok so most of my teenage life i have been chubby, during the summer before my first set was shot in 2007, i lost most of the weight and went down to 9 stone, was stuck to that weight until December 2008.. and stayed at 8 stone 2 for 2 months and all of a sudden its creeped on so quick.

So help?! please? I just want to lose as much weight as possible before my 21st Birthday in June.

Here is the proof:
OK so at 16, i felt odd, the ugly duckling etc. I weighed about 10 stone, short, chubby.


Prom, age 18, still felt big.Weighed about 9.5 stone-10 stone still. 2007



Then in summer i lost weight. This is August, whilst i was in Calgary visiting my cousins. Around 9 Stone. 2007


And few months later in October I shot my second se, lost a bit more weight mainly toned up a lil, also 2007 (altho went live in 08)

*this might get deleted by photobucket*

And the most recent... me at my almost skinniest. Nov 2008. Around 8.5 stone.



In December/Jan i went thru the whole family ordeal and shite and lost a further 3 lbs. And i was 8.2 stone at my lightest. I want to be 8 Stone. that would be my ideal weight. You can tell in my face mostly when i lose weight, also coz i was chubbier when i was growing up i have loads of loose skin around my belly (u can see it in my sets.. )i have a lot of overhanging skin its worse now coz im chubbier....

Now i'm back to wear i started... the fat awkward kid

HELP! im so depressed



ALSO someone threw away my clear brace, i'm not going thru the bin to find it. My teeth have moved so much a bit of my tooth is showing thru my gums.. o dear! I'll have to call the orthodontist up tomoz i think .

What a great weekend! The weather was gorgeous, sunny and HOT! well not hot hot, but hot compared to the last few months! Start of spring i think!

So on saturday, I didn't do much... helped fit Joe's parents kitchen out.. i'm getting good at drilling and fitting cupboards and handles! And in the evening I finished my painting, i used oil paint. Here it is before and after:



I haven't painted since I left high school 5 yrs ago.. so dont laff!

On sunday, Joe and I had OOD training at the sailing club, which consists of me and Joe going down on the 5th July and stay down at the sailing club all day making sure all doors are unlocked/locked and getting the lifeboat out etc blah blah blah. That only lasted 30 mins, the rest of the day was spent putting our lovely boat together!!! We didnt argue/he didnt shout at me!!! I hate putting the boat together it means we have to put the mast up and i hate that part, coz its heavy and scary!
Here is our boat, nacra 500 (its around 16 ft long)


and this is what we do: (not our boat, but taken on holiday 2 yrs ago in Turkey on a similar boat.



I can't wait for the weather to get better and hotter so we can go sailing!! Joe's sending me to get proper lessons in the summer, get my RYA level 1 and 2... as ive never been taught properly, just only by Joe.

Anyways thats it for today. Gotta get my work sorted...

I'm such a silly bean, I only found out yesterday that my easter holidays start on the 30th March not 6th April, so I have an extra week! An extra week to finish my dissertation before our road trip!!! I have to finish everything by the 4th April, as Joe's taken 2 weeks off!

Our road trip will start in Essex then driving to Joe's best friends house in Wales, near Aberystwyth (sp?) it will take 4-6 hours. Staying 2 nights. Then driving down to his dads house to visit his lil sis, dad and step mum. That'll take another 4-6 hours. Staying 2 nights and 3 days. Driving home to essex to get some clean clothes then driving down to Brighton on the friday to Machiko's birthday!!!
Lots of photos will be taken!!

Prints still for sale, PM me if you are interessted!

Also, I think i'm gna give up on shooting sets soon, just dont feel appreciated or like my stuff is good enough. My best work is Bow's set, comments have slowly coming to a halt, stuck at 718 comments. I doubt it will ever go up but im staying positive and hoping it does. I would like atleast 1 live set during my time on SG.
I maybe shoot a few more, see the verdict, then stop. I dunno. If you want to shoot PM me, whether it b for SG, modelling etc.

Also, I'm getting my car back today!! I've walked about 3 days this week and my ass feels tight! hehe ive never had an ass before and now its starting to appear, its great! There was a hole in one of the cylinders which caused it to have no power and shake loads! I'm only collecting it coz my sister foned and said if she could borrow it and i said yes and she decided to take everything out like change stuff like my air freshners that i collect. they're all roxy ones or my first one from when i passed my driving test given to me by my friends and Joe, so they do have sentimental value. I'm not going to drive it though but its my car and I dont want anyone changing it thinking its their car. It pisses me off, its mine dont fucking touch it. But i'm going to continue to walk as I enjoy it despite it taking me 2 hours a day it clears my mind and gives me a nice ass!

My 21st Birthday is coming up... not long now! Its in June, need some ideas. I dont want it to be just a nite out of drinking esp coz im yeast intollerant and the yeast in alcohol will make me ill. So ideas on a nice day thing or night thing is muchly appreciated!

Anyways I shall stop talking, i always end up writing to much on here. Starting my (either) 365 or 52 week project soon, as soon as i get this nasty dissertation finished and assignments!

Love u all, please show my MR sets some love. I promise one day I will have something really perfect, one day.

p.s: dunno if its possible but Turner and I may be changing the set... deleting some clothed images and adding some more nudeys. If it is possible that would be perfect but dunno we'll try soon.

MR stuff:

Bow- Ursus Maritimus


Turner- Hotpink Flash


Miyo- Vintage Caberet