Sometimes people fall, you just gotta keep getting up and driving on. You will never be able to control everything, so control the things you can and prepare for the things you can't. You'll figure it out, you have to do what's right for you.

It's a shame that you and your nearest and dearest (parents & fella) are at odds right now. Facing a critical decision is the time you really would like to have support and encouragement to explore all possibilities. It's hard to do that when fear rules the day - your own or others. The employment situation is certainly challenging in much of Europe (here in the US, too) for every age group but particularly for twenty to thirty year old people. Even accepting that, if you feel that your current offer from your employer is not suited to your long term best interests then of course you should turn down the contract offer. You can do this in a manner that leaves as many doors open as possible if you choose, and I strongly urge you to do that in all instances where possible. Your loved ones will accept it if you are clearly resolved and can articulate your wishes, whether they are fact based of more difficult to quantify.

Like all of us, I have come to many points in my life where a significant choosing must be made as to what I do next. I have almost always resented these times and tried to find some way to move forward without succumbing to the pressures put upon me by one thing or another. Sometimes there is simply no avoiding it and I have had to make a hard and fast choice, while other times a different way of looking at it revealed an alternative (or many alternative) outcomes. The one thing that has served me best in these times is my tendency to remain calm and maintain my vision of what is all around. I hear that you are anxious and that concerns me, mostly because I suspect that decisions made under duress are often regrettable. I hope that you are able to find some peace within yourself soon in order to be able to best absorb all that is around you and construct a future that gives you hope and that you feel as comfortable with as possible. I know it's no comfort but you must accept that we cannot be certain of anything in this life. All that we can do is to come to terms with our own understanding of ourselves (which changes constantly) and act in a manner that serves us best.

Much love to you and all of yours.

I see why you're so stressed! One thing you CAN control is your mind. Concentrate on the present, don't worry about your other stuff. Things will fall into place, one by one. I hope you feel better soon...

goodness, reading about your woes makes me think we are the same person. I hope things get better for the both of us. I kinda wish i could go see a therapist.

I feel you with once thinking I was just moody, but now thinking its something more serious.
And the job situation...unemployment is so high but I don't want to have just another job. People spend so much of their time at work, you want to get on with your co workers & enjoy your time there. You'll find somewhere eventually

This seemed appropriate. I hope you enjoy it.



There are many other versions of this wonderful song, spend the day listening to them on YouTube, you will feel much better about life.

The Roberto Girardi pictures are stunting.

it is part of the human condition to want control and certainty in your life......we all need stability now and then. I know how it feels being insecure about work.

I try to look at things in blocks of 3 months at a time where work is concerned, work out a budget for living expenses etc and then once that is done, the rest of my time is devoted to things I actually enjoy doing.....and lists have been a saviour of mine for years! There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing lists down for things you need to do or remember....it unburdens your mind!

Having a job is a huge plus nowadays, try and take advantage of the situation, use it to further your education, if there are courses or training sessions you can join or do, do them! A company must provide ongoing education for its employees, use it as a stepping stone into your new future.

Try and talk it through with your bf, I'm sure he will understand your anxiety regarding your future. Try to set aside one day a week to get out of town and find some physical activities you can do together with your bf or a member of your family or a friend. This will help you focus on something else.
You set high standards for yourself, give yourself time to achieve these highs......afterall, Rome wasn't built in a day!!

I wish you the best in your journey. Always listen to your gut... not your emotions or that voice in your head but your GUT. That pull you feel. It's hard to let go at times and trust life yet its must be done to find peace. When we try to control things we have no control over it drives us mad. I leave you with part of the serenity prayer in hopes that you find it useful

"...grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

I wish you the best!

Beautiful photos Lauretta.
I hope things get better for you.

In life the only person you will ever have complete control over is yourself. Accepting this fact going forward can help to ease the strength of your stress and anxiety. Life is a constant state of transition and cycles and yours is only just getting started. Along the way you will find it necessary to let go of old and outmoded habits that no longer work or fit in your current state and move on to better ones... recognizing setbacks and obstacles for what they are can only lead to a better understanding of your place in the universe. In short you learn from your mistakes and move on. Go forward with smiles Lauretta and you will prevail.

We are only immortal for a limited time so take life by the balls and run with it in your own fashion. While you're at it, keep modeling because you are a natural ... and I must admit photos of you make me feel warm and tingly. Thank you for that!

Speaking of which...

Roberto's photos are incredible. You look particularly radiant in them.

Encore!

Security vs. freedom is a common internal battle many of us have to fight. Some people need a sense of stability and security in order to be creative and do their best work. That's the way I have always been. Others feel more alive and creative when there's a stronger sense of freedom, uncertainty and risk. My advice is to try to figure out which is the greater motivating factor for you (not your parents, bf or anyone else). Neither approach is wrong, but one or the other is likely to be more right for you. The key to being happy is finding your correct answer - not someone else's.

Whichever path you choose, it's not an all-or-nothing deal. If you decide to put safety first, there's no reason you shouldn't also make plans that allow your creative spirit to flourish. It just wouldn't be in a primary employment setting, starting out. If you decide that the safer choice is just something you really don't want to do, there's no reason you can't also take steps to limit and mitigate your risk. What's important is finding the right balance for you, and always having a backup plan in case things don't work out the way you had anticipated.

Those Girardi photos are spectacular - you look even more amazing than usual.